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Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Model Search Recap: Episode 2
Welcome back to the world of evil chocolate cake, bleached hair, strict judging and swimsuits. Two more ladies will be eliminated this week. Will I receive yet another phone call from Foreshadowing? Will Krisi make it through this round? Will Alicia be edited as the villain this episode? So many questions, so little time. Cue the Duran Duran music and let’s see what’s happening in Malibu.
Haircut 100
Back home, Stacy still feels Nancy had it all to win the competition. Too bad the judges didn’t agree with you. The models discuss the eliminations for a bit and they quickly come to the realization that the Supermodel Pass didn’t save Sabrina from being dropped. *Snaps* for you. Alicia states that these girls are not her best friends. Too bad for the girls who were eliminated, they won’t talk to them ever again. What a joy it is to be around her.
The doorbell rings and Roshumba arrives, looking great, as usual. She says that she’s here to make the girls look good and put them in top shape. She then presents celebrity stylist John Barrett, who’s used to be around models. The girls take turns to receive a hair consultation and I must admit the man seems to know what he’s doing. Stacy’s hair makes him scream and not in a "wow, I just won the lottery" way but more in a "You just stepped on my toes and I was wearing sandals" way. Alicia is perfect-o, from her long hair to her skin. He hates her, but in a good way. She’s supposed to be the villain, remember? Jenna’s hair is fine and dandy but we hear John scream again when he takes a look at Krisi’s ‘do. Now comes the fun part. Betti cut her hair a lot even before John arrived. Now, he repeats the same thing Roshumba told her the last time; they can’t see her pretty face behind all that hair. He proceeds to get rid of her braids and cut her hair in an Afro style. I immediately think it makes her stand out but you’ll see that she does not agree with me. "I am not smiling! I’m not happy! I’ve never seen a girl in Sports Illustrated with an afro! This is not me!" John and her argue for a bit. This doesn’t leave a good impression of Betti on the other girls.
You Should Be Dancing
The doorbell rings again and it’s another false Sports Illustrated magazine with indications for the ladies to read. They have to get ready for an athletic event and costumes are provided. It’s the competition for the Supermodel Pass. It turns out to be a dance rehearsal with the L.A. Clippers dance team. We see some of the girls freaking out a bit, as Adaora and Jenna apparently can’t dance. This is where you are wrong ladies; everyone can dance! Some can’t dance very well and look like a fool doing it (points to self), but it is called dancing anyway. This is where the recap becomes interactive. Ladies and gentlemen, while you are reading this (or after you’re done, your choice) you all will stand up and do a little dance. You can put some music, sing A Capella or even rap if you want. Help me prove my point.
Stella and Krisi both love to dance and don’t have a problem with this competition. As we observe the models perform, I immediately see that Shannon stands out, in a very good way. She doesn’t have this cheerleader vibe like Krisi or just stands there, bumping into another girl, like Alicia. When all is said and done, Shannon wins the Supermodel Pass and receives diamond earrings…just because the producers felt like it. This week, the winner can give another pass to someone else; Shannon decides to award it to Betti since she had a bad (hair) day.
Attack Of The Killer Pizza Crust
We see Alicia working out. Apparently, she takes what the Simon clone-crappy-dude has said to heart. What follows is another "Silver is really pissed off and blames the producers" moment. The girls arrive in the kitchen and there are at least 2 boxes of delicious, steamy, excellent pizza sitting on the counter. I hope that it was still hot. How long was it sitting there? I’m not that fond of cold pizza myself. Anyhow, screams of horror and total dismay are heard. For the love of Britney Spears, who knew food could be so dangerous? Adaora, Stella, Jenna and Shannon are seen eating it. As last week, Alicia condones this eating behaviour, saying that she wants to win and will have the perfect body. Sweetie, good for you, but would you please stop berating the others because they ate one small slice of pizza? If you don’t want any, I’ll gladly eat it for you.
Time To Get Funky
It’s time to go to the beach and do what they all are there for: a photo shoot! Nikko’s color this week is orange! Why do I keep telling you this? Simply because I can. He’s there with last year’s winner of the same competition, Michelle Lombardo. The girls must pair up for this 70’s themed shoot. Since Shannon and Betti won the super duper pass, they decide to go last. Krisi and Stella go first, as Shannon feels they are the strongest competitors. Stella is sporting a gigantic white-ish Afro and I didn’t recognize her. Krisi is her partner and they fool around (not in that way, people!) jumping, roller-skating and just acting silly. Before we cut to commercial break, we hear the always-endearing Joel whisper, "this is stupid." The one who says it first is the one who really is! Would you smile for once, I’m positive it wouldn’t ruin your Botox treatments. Adaora is paired up with Stacy and they pose with hula-hoops and seem to be doing fine. Jenna is with Alicia and she immediately states that she feels her partner is her strongest competition. Alicia replies that while Jenna is a sweetheart, she doesn’t want to be friends with anyone. I think we got that already, but the editors think we are stupid and must remind us of this fact over and over. Alicia= mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shannon and Betti are last and we hear Roshumba say that Betti has a style now and it’s amazing. "Sunrise" from Duran Duran is “cleverly” playing as the sun is setting and the girls can do one last single shot each.
The mismatched trio deliberate on how the girls did with the 70’s pictures. As tradition wants it, Joel is head over heels impressed with Krisi. However, he does point out the obvious that she did have some work done in a certain area and that it shows. Stella is very pretty but she has no fire. I would normally say that’s a good thing since we don’t want spontaneously combusting contestants on this show. They all love Jenna but point out that she could take her sexiness down a notch. Basically, she poses like she’s in Playboy and not in SI. Alicia is superb but seems to only have one expression on all of her pictures. Joel then mumbles something about her being having a fat and flabby ass. I’m seriously starting to get annoyed with this guy. If he trades his accent for a British one and starts using words such as "dreadful" and "horrendous", we’ll have to call FOX about copyrights. It is Adaora’s turn to be analysed by the trio and my new friend Joel states that she has thick thighs. "What’s the word, you use here, thighs?" What the heck is he talking about? Roshumba still thinks that Betti has a cool look, Stacy is praised for her raw talent since it’s the first time she’s ever modeled and both Jule and Roshumba think Shannon is pretty. The clown, just to piss me off, says the opposite. He then goes off on a tangent, telling us that in 2005, we are looking for a model to properly represent SI etc. Will you shut up already? Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not interested in what he has to say after his numerous rude comments.
Strike 3, You’re Out
Back at the Barbie Mansion, the contestants are instructed to go to the Dodgers Stadium. I like baseball, so I’m thrilled to know yet another place they are going to. Before we go there however, we must have the obligatory interviews on who’s going and who’sa witchsafe. Stella repeatedly says she doesn’t want to go while Betti is still crying about her hair. Adaora doesn’t feel confident about her chances and neither is our dear Stacy. Many girls think Betti’s diva attitude will get her booted. It seems that I didn’t get a phone call from Foreshadowing. However, he left me a text message that read, "Can’t call you, got replaced by a new guy called Tricky Editing. My hair looks better than his." Poor Foreshadowing. We all send you our love.
The girls are standing in line in the field and the judges are sitting far away from them. Shannon is called up first and her name appears on the Jumbotron. Now that’s what I call having a good budget. Please note that I will refrain from using baseball references from now on because Joel used one and I refuse to be even remotely linked to him.
He asks Shannon why she deserves to win. She answers that she does because she’s beautiful. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I shall pull the editing card on this one, because there’s no way someone would only answer that. Plus, I like her so I’m giving her a break. Joel starts giving her endless nasty comments; he couldn’t see her properly represent S.I., she needs to stop posing and needs to smooth “it” out. After all this, he keeps the same tone of voice and tells her that she’s safe. What a ghastly performance by Joel.
Now, it’s Krisi’s turn. She took some weak pictures this time around and the judges think she needs to toughen up. However, since Joel has a bit of a weird crush on her, there’s no way she’s being eliminated this early. Krisi, you made the cut. I nearly fall off my sofa when I look at Krisi. She had this weird mix of Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie look. I never want to see that again in my entire life. Weegasha!
Alicia is also asked why she deserves to win. She starts by explaining that she cares about the business of it all. Will her different approach work? What about her friends? The sassy lady responds that it’s not about friends; it’s about her kicking some ass. I thought this was about a swimsuit competition, but I must be wrong. She’s not going anywhere.
Jule thinks Jenna has a Cameron Diaz vibe about her (I don’t really see it personally, but then again, I think that Krisi looks like Paris and Nicole at the same time.) Joel tells her to tone it down a bit, because she looks too pin-up. Ha. They want the winning model to appeal to both men and women. Jenna, you look too much like a stripper, that’s pretty much what they want to say.
Adaora has great potential but she does weird things with her mouth. Darling, you’ve been dropped. Up next is Betti. Uh oh. I hope John Barrett isn’t near because she’s still mad. Roshumba praises her again for her new hairdo but she wants her to pose more boldly. She’s as safe and secure as a Ziploc bag.
Down to Stacy and Stella. The judges repeat a bit of criticism to both of them and Joel closes the deal with his annoying character when he states that we wanted to see fire from Stella but all we saw was snow. All together now, boooooooooo! That felt good. So yes, they finally choose to say goodbye to Stella. As they show her leaving, I’m immediately appalled at the fact that they are making them cross a baseball field in heels! Oh! The cruelty of it all. I don’t think Stella deserved to go but then again, Joel didn’t seem to like her.
Pop-Disco-Dance-I love The Bee Gees Quiz: Did any of you notice that both Adaora and Stella were shown eating some pizza?
This wraps up another episode of this show. If you still want to tune in next week, we will probably discover a new food item that’ll bring screams and shock to all. We’ll also get more of Joel being his annoying self. Girls in swimsuits guaranteed! Josh the bartender might come back, too!
I hope you didn’t forget to dance. Now would be a good time to try it out. What toppings do you like on your pizza? Please share with me: silverstar@fansofrealitytv.com
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Silverstar 
You should be Dancin... yeahhh!
Yup, just like last week... if you eat the temptation, you're outta there!
