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….Which is what I want to use on Matthew after hearing about his “wife” every 30 seconds during this episode. Welcome back to another week of Shear Genius! Last week, the Real Housewives of Orange County and their daughters made a visit to the salon and Daniel just about blew a gasket. If you haven’t read Iguanachocolate’s fabulous recap, you can get the blow-by-blow on Daniel’s descent into Stalker Boy. Last week, we also saw Parker get the boot. This is no big loss for me, since I had didn’t even know who he was by name. Alas, someone else will be going home tonight and maybe they’ll have had enough air time that we’ll all actually care….but probably not.
Jacklyn Smith welcomes the stylists to the salon once again. She reminds everyone that Charlie won last week’s elimination challenge, so he has immunity this week. His win also garnered his style a spot on the Allure Wall of Fame. This basically means that they put a picture of his model from last week up on the wall. Whoop-de-do. Jacklyn praises Charlie and then asks for his opinion: which of his fellow-stylists does he think is struggling? Charlie singles out Gail, who says she’s a fighter and is definitely not used to being on the bottom. She vows to fight. Matt then pipes up, complaining that Jacklyn didn’t ask him anything….not that he has anything to say. Glenn observes that Matt likes to bitch a lot.
The Long and the Short of It
It’s time for this week’s Short Cut Challenge and this week’s guest judge is famous stylist Campbell McCall. I’m assuming he’s famous in circles that know the names of stylists. I’ve never heard of him. Daniel gushes over Campbell. This seems to be how he reacts to everyone he meets. Campbell says he’s excited to see how they will all deal with this challenge. Their assignment is to create a style that is both interesting and structurally complicated, while using at least one accessory.
Each stylist steps forward and chooses a scissor box and then the clients come out. Everyone is perfectly calm until the clients reach up and take down their hair. It’s like a Crystal Gayle convention. Some of them have hair down to their knees. Daniel gives the gay gasp and covers his mouth. While the stylists try to get over their shock, Jacklyn has one more surprise for them: they can’t cut any of their clients’ hair. Meredith claims to be speechless and then rambles on for twenty minutes about how speechless she is. I’d hate to see her when she’s chatty.
The stylists all open the scissor boxes they chose and find a number. That number, Jacklyn explains, corresponds to the length of their client’s hair. Meredith gets the largest number: 68 inches. That’s taller than she is. The stylists will have an hour to complete the style.
Campbell McCall walks from station to station, surveying the progress. Daniel works on creating a pompadour shape, while Meredith begins separating her client’s hair…with her feet. Nice. Matthew begins working on a headdress of curls and Nicole starts braiding to create a complicated knot. Matthew explains to Campbell that he will be weaving pearls into the clients hair. When Campbell points out that Daniel is also using pearls, Matthew says Daniel is copying him. Daniel is scandalized. Charlie is working on a style he thinks is reminiscent of a Disney princess, but Campbell thinks it looks too “bridey.” Charlie looks horrified. This must be like calling a model “plus-sized.”
Dee watches Nekisa and observes that Nekisa might be losing focus. Campbell is concerned too – Nekisa hasn’t even picked an accessory and time is running out. Nicole says she is trying to make the hair look like vines with cherries woven into it but complains that the client doesn’t have a lot of hair. With one minute left, no one seems to be done.
Time’s up and Campbell McCall surveys the damage. Glenn explains that she wanted height and swept the hair off to the side to show the length of her client’s hair as well. Nekisa went for texture and tried to avoid the dreaded bridal label. Unfortunately, she didn’t have any time for an accessory and knows the style looks awful. Dee was inspired to create a futuristic Asian Geisha. Matt teased the hair and created a “pad” down the middle. Campbell, praises Matthew and says the back is beautiful. Gail explains that she used flowers to give a geisha style. Daniel did a loop base in the center and then draped the hair through it. Paulo basically stuck an accessory on a ponytail. Nicole braided her client’s hair, which she calls “paper thin.” Meredith wanted to showcase the length of the hair, which is a nice way of hiding the fact that she ran out of time. Charlie went for a silhouette of Hepburn and Disney princess. Like that’s not another way of saying “bridal.”
Campbell McCall says that some of the stylists created great work, although some of them missed the boat. Nekisa and Nicole are the bottom two. Nekisa didn’t use an accessory and Nicole played it safe, Campbell says. Nicole counters that her client didn’t have any hair. Is that really the argument to take in a challenge where you’re styling really long hair? Campbell looks particularly annoyed with Nicole’s attitude, but still declares Nekisa the loser. She admits she panicked and didn’t use her time wisely.
Campbell McCall chooses Matthew and Charlie as his favorites. He loved the texture of Charlie’s style and praises Matthew for not playing it safe: the front, back and sides of the style were all doing something. The winner of the challenge is Matthew. He tells us that winning reminded him of the feeling he had when his wife told him she loved him for the first time. Get ready, ‘cause Matt’s going to mention his wife approximately 800 times this episode in what is clearly an attempt to convince us that he’s straight.
As the challenge winner, Matthew will have first choice of client in the Elimination Challenge. Plus, he’ll choose the order in which the other stylists pick their models. Glenn is sure she and Meredith will be choosing last. Meredith predicts that everyone will be sucking up to Matthew. This is because she will be leading the campaign.
Sucking Up as an Olympic Event
Back at the loft, everyone drinks and Meredith decides they should all toast Matthew. The only problem is that he’s already gone to bed. Meredith goes down to tell him he should come to the kitchen: they all want to toast him for winning the challenge. He drags him up to the kitchen, all the while denying she’s sucking up. Matt seems to enjoy the attention and takes the opportunity to take various people aside for personal sessions with him. There’s a lot of sucking up and Nicole gives us a play-by-play. Of course, she’s not going to lower herself to suck up to Matthew – she’s just going to talk smack about everyone.
The next morning, Rene Fris welcomes everyone. Today, he says, they will be styling hair for the red carpet. They will be judged on creativity, difficulty of style, glamour and how worthy the style is for the red carpet. They will have two hours and should use all of the time they’re given. A dress rack is rolled in, upon which are hanging an assortment of gowns. They will be choosing a dress and then meeting the client associated with that dress.
Because Matthew won the Short Cut Challenge, he will be choosing first. He tells everyone he’s making his choice based on which gown will look best on his wife. Rene Fris reminds Matthew that his wife isn’t there. Wow, that Rene has a little snark in him. Nice. Matthew also gets to choose the order in which the other stylists choose their client/dress. Here’s how the selection went:
Paulo
Gail
Meredith
Dee
Daniel
Charlie
Nekisa
Nicole
Glenn
Rene asks Matthew why Glenn was last and he actually claims it was just random. Of course, he tells us that he likes Glenn the least and that’s why she went last.
*LALALALALA I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOU!*
Out come the models to be paired with the dresses and the stylists all get to work. Matthew’s model sits down and he immediately asks her if her hair curls. She tells him it doesn’t hold curl at all. Matt lectures her: you have to tell the hair what to do. Matthew starts curling hair while Paulo looks on disapproving: Matthew should be listening to his client, Paulo says.
Daniel explains his style to Rene and it’s obvious he’s really nervous. Daniel admits he peed a little when he saw the Real Housewives of Orange County last week. Well, so did I, but that was mainly out of fear. Gail wants to show the judges that smooth, finished hair is her thing.
Meanwhile, Matthew continues to persist in curling his client’s hair, even though it’s practically straightening the second he pulls the curling iron away. Charlie has embarked on a major color job and Matthew talks a little smack about it. Charlie calls out “bitch” to him while the clients giggle nervously. Nicole works on a complicated up ‘do, but decides to leave one strand of hair out, knowing she’s taking a risk that the judges will hate it. Why do people insist on doing something that the judges might hate? Paulo is confident about his style, but Charlie calls it “tacky hair show.” Man, who’s the bitch now?
Soon enough, the two hours are up and the clients go change into the dresses before hitting the red carpet. Yes, there’s actually a red carpet….it’s set up in a parking lot, so it’s not all that impressive really. This week’s judges are Kim Vo, Jacklyn Smith, Stylist mark Townsend and Days of Our Lives star, Alison Sweeney. Upon seeing Alison, Daniel pees his pants. He tells us he feels a connection with her. I think it’s time for the producers to reveal stalking laws with Daniel. He’s getting a little creepy. No, strike that. He passed creepy last week.
The clients hit the red carpet for the judges. Honestly, describing hair styles and dresses is just really not my thing. Here’s what you need to know: Matthew’s client’s hair is, predictably, completely flat. Meredith is wearing a bird in her hair. Her client’s hair looks better. Daniel’s client’s hair looks like blonde cotton candy. Really, everything passed in a blur.
The hair show ends and it’s time for judging. Jacklyn says some of the stylists didn’t disappoint. Right now, four stylists are safe: Meredith, Dee, Nekisa and Daniel are all excused. Now each of the stylists have the chance to explain their styles to the judges. Glenn says she was inspired by the thick, beautiful hair of her client: the curls just came naturally. Jacklyn praises the style: she liked that it looks good from all angles. Kim Vo sees lots of frizz and Glenn explains that she didn’t want the style to look too over-polished. Matthew admits that his client warned him that her hair wouldn’t hold curl, but he didn’t listen. He imagined a cascade of wavy curls and that’s not what he got.
Charlie explains that he wanted to evoke an old-fashioned screen goddess and that had to begin with color. Kim Vo praises the execution, but wonders where the creativity is. Mark Townsend is amazed that Charlie was able to color and style the hair in only two hours. Alison Sweeney thinks it’s a great style for the red carpet.
Nicole was inspired by her client’s face and excellent bone structure and she wanted to show that off. Kim Vo is bothered by the one strand of hair Nicole left out of the up ‘do. He says it looks like the hair fell out. Paulo wanted to create a style that was old Hollywood, with an edge. Mark Townsend doesn’t think it’s appropriate for the red carpet: there’s too much hair around the client’s face. Kim Vo steps up to take a closer look. He thinks the style would have been better for the runway than for the red carpet.
Gail took her inspiration from the roping and knotting on the back of the dress. The client is beautiful and Gail wanted to highlight her face. Mark Townsend asks the model to step forward so he can take a closer look. He compliments the texture in back.
Jacklyn dismisses the stylists so the judges can decide who’s going home. The judges are split about Glenn’s style: Mark Townsend and Alison Sweeney both liked it, but Jacklyn and Kim Vo both thought it was a bit dated. Kim Vo calls Nicole’s style “Asian Bridezilla.” Meow. He would know. Jacklyn thinks the one piece of hair looks like it fell out of the style. Kim Vo thinks Matthew’s style is a little too “My Little Pony.” Alison observes that the client told Matthew her hair didn’t curl well and he ignored her.
The judges all think Charlie’s style is fab and none of them can believe he colored and styled the hair in that short a time. Kim Vo is the only voice of slight dissent. He thinks the style might have been a little too perfect and wasn’t so creative. Jacklyn thinks the back of Gail’s style was beautiful. She also points out that Gail took her inspiration from the dress and that was part of the challenge. The judges all agree that they liked Gail’s style. While Kim Vo liked the tendrils in the front of Paulo’s style. Alison calls it hideous. Mark Townsend agrees: if he did that style for the red carpet, he’d be out of business.
In a Closet so Dark You Can't Even See the Light Under the Door
The stylists are back to hear the judges’ decision. Glenn, Charlie and Gail are asked to step forward. They are this week’s top three. Gail’s style was elegant and showed good form from all angles, but it was not shear genius. It’s down to Charlie and Glenn. Glenn tells us she wants to beat Charlie. A lot. Charlie’s style lasted on the red carpet and his execution wass flawless. He;s this week’s winner. Charlie knows the others are getting annoyed about his winning streak but he really doesn’t care: he’s got immunity next week.
This week’s bottom three are Nicole, Matthew and Paulo. Nicole is quickly sent back in line – she’s safe. Matthew ran into problems when he didn’t listen to his client and Paulo’s style was more runway than red carpet. This week, it’s Matthew who’s going home. Really, he’s not all that upset about it. He’s glad he came on the show, but he’s really happy to be going home to hisbeardwife. He says “my wife” about twenty times in 90 seconds. Meredith reads my mind and says Matthew’s wife must be Olympic level in bed….or imaginary (okay, I added that part)
Jacklyn says some of them are still playing it safe: they need to step it up to stay in the competition. Matt tells us he tried really hard, but found himself pacing and wondering when he would see his wife again. He’s happy he’ll be going home to his wife and his life where he’s completely happy. Really he is.
Next week: It’s time for a little, good old-fashioned sabotage when the stylists will be working on their own clients and the other stylists’ clients as well.
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