Has Evangelin been sniffing too much hairspray? I mean, really. Put the hedge clippers down. We understand you were trying to make a statement last week by choosing them as your tool for the challenge. And you actually pulled it off. But to keep using them when you don’t have to seems a little…deranged. There’s nothing wrong with having a gimmick, but I hardly think she wants to be known around town as the Crazy Hedge Clipper Lady. Give it a rest already. Please.
Pigs In Prom Dresses
Our stylists bounce out into the Shear Genius salon to see Evangelin’s client from last week on the Allure Wall of Fame. This just seals the idea in her mind that the ginormous hedge clippers are a good idea. They’re not. This week’s guest judge is none other than Linda Wells, Editor in Chief of Allure magazine. In addition to being editor, she’s also the “bad ass of bad asses in the women’s beauty power world.” So says Daisy, who seems in awe of the woman. After the introductions, Jaclyn tells the stylists that this week’s Short Cut challenge will be a “Day to Night” competition. They have 90 minutes to design and style a cut that can go from daytime easy to nighttime glam in five minutes. And there’s a twist: it won’t be the stylists who change the look for night, it’ll be the models themselves. They also have a tray of accessories to choose from to help with the transition. No mannequin heads this week, kiddies, it’s the real thing.
Last week’s winner, Evangelin, gets to choose first. And yes, she has those ridiculous hedge clippers hanging from her hip. If you saw a stylist coming at you with those things, wouldn’t you run away? Quickly? She chooses her model/victim and walks away, as the other stylists get to pick from a tray full of boxes, each containing a number. This is the order in which they will get to choose. They all pick out a model, leaving one poor girl for Ben to work with. She’s adorable, but has baby-fine, bleached out hair. Ben is less than thrilled, because there’s not much for him to work with here.
Everyone gets to cutting as Evangelin whips out the stupid hedge clippers. She insists that they are now a tool for her, but everyone snickers behind her back. Her model is one brave woman, I tell you what. Dr. Boogie has chosen a model with gorgeous long red hair. And promptly whacks it all off with his clippers. I can barely bring myself to look at the horrible cut he’s inflicting on her, and the guest judge is looking a little shocked herself. Boogie says that he wants to take a big risk this time in hopes of staying out of the bottom three. He wanted someone that “wasn’t afraid to go to the doctor’s office and get a good prescription.” Uh huh. This poor woman is going to need a second opinion. The others look at Dr. Boogie’s work nervously, and Danna thinks the model is going to freak out when she wakes up the next morning. I agree.
Ben is still bitching about his model’s hair, saying “You can put a pig in a prom dress but it’s still a pig.” Nice, Ben. I know he wasn’t talking about her, but damn. Linda wanders around, commenting on the work so far. Boogie’s hack job catches her eye. “So you’re going to be the first person in the world to make the mullet attractive?” she asks Dr. Boogie. When she asks Boogie’s client about how she felt getting her long hair chopped off, she replies that she was nervous because it’s the shortest it’s ever been. But she loves it (liar). Boogie thinks it’s a cross between a mullet and a Mohawk, and calls it a mollet. Or mollawk. Something like that. Whatever you call it, I think it’s uglier than homemade sin. Linda also wonders if Danna’s braided style is appropriate for anything but young girls, but the model loves it. I think it’s cute.
Time for the models to transform their own day-to-night do’s, and see how well they paid attention to the instructions from their stylists. Every one of them finishes in the allotted five minutes except for Evangelin’s model, who looks a mess. Pieces are sticking out everywhere, and it’s hard to tell what it was supposed to look like. No dramatic difference in Ben’s model, either - but he didn’t have a lot to work with. Dr. Boogie’s “style” looks exactly the same – except the night style has a headband. Linda doesn’t like it, calling the cut too edgy and punky, which can border on ugly. Ouch. She also didn’t like Anthony’s night style, calling it messy. Danna ends up with the win.
You Call This Relaxing?
Good news for the stressed out stylists: they get to spend the rest of the afternoon at the Dtox Day Spa. It sounds like someplace Britney Spears would visit, and the stylists can’t wait. While some people kick back and just relax, a few of them get catty. Anthony asks Evangelin if she plans on using the hedge clippers in her salon, and she replies yes, if her clients want them. He can’t believe it. Anthony then goes to get a massage with Tabatha, snarking on how Tyson has a hissy when things don’t go his way. Tabatha really has it out for Tyson (and vice versa), and she tells Anthony that she doesn’t care if Evangelin wins with her “big friggin’ garden shears,” as long as Tyson doesn’t win. Anthony, for his part, is in no hurry to get back to “those wankers.”
Back at the loft, Danna gets on Evangelin’s case about the huge clippers again. She thinks Evangelin is giving hairdressers a bad rep, and she just needs to put the clippers away. Evangelin insists that people will be knocking down her salon door, asking to have their hair cut with the huge clippers. Yeah, I don’t think so. Tabatha can’t stand it anymore, and jumps in with her opinion, calling Evangelin’s clients idiots if that is indeed what they want. “Be a real grown-up hairdresser!” says Tabatha after dropping a few f-bombs. I don't see this group holding hands and singing kumbaya anytime soon.
How To Get On The Worst Hair List
Off to the salon for the next elimination challenge: to create red carpet hair. The stylists must come up with a style that complements guest celebrity Vanessa Williams. And her dress. A photo of Vanessa is placed at each station, and the models come out to be picked. Danna gets first choice, deciding to let the rest of the stylists choose in the opposite order of what Tyson did previously. Smart girl. They have two hours to create the new ‘do, and after Rene spouts his stupid “shake it” catch phrase about twenty times, they get to work.
Ben admits that he’s never worked with African-American hair before, plus she had extensions, making it even harder for him. Oh, and he's never done red carpet hair. He is so doomed. Tabatha gossips in true hairdresser style with her client, trashing Evangelin yet again. Evangelin decides to do a style that has both curly and straight hair, while Daisy creates a style with three “bulbs.” Danna has never done red carpet hair either, but Dr. Boogie insists that his work has been in all the magazines. He claims to have done Vivica Fox’s hair, and a few other “celebs” I’ve never heard of. I wonder how many repeat customers he gets, because I'm not impressed. Several people look over at Evangelin’s strange style and make disparaging comments, and Ben isn’t happy with his end result, either.
Time for the final judging, with Vanessa herself choosing the winner as the Hair Show begins. Danna’s style is smooth and sophisticated, looking very old-school Hollywood. Tabatha has created an upswept, knotted style that is also very attractive. Anthony’s bouffant-looking style is a little bland in my opinion. Daisy’s curly “bulb” style comes out better than I thought it would, while Ben’s entry just isn’t red carpet style. Not horrible, just not the right style for this one. Still, it’s better than Evangelin’s crazy, stringy mess. Dr. Boogie has created a V-shaped updo, another one I’m not too thrilled with. Tyson’s style ends the show: tightly pulled back and up, with a little volume on top and pieces falling out of the back.
The judges complement Danna’s style, but call Daisy’s “too safe” and Ben’s too much like the end of a long prom night. They call it a disaster, actually. They also trash Evangelin’s tendrils: “this is the hair that’s going to get you on the worst hair list.” Boogie gets compliments on his one-liners, but not so much on his hairstyle. Anthony’s style is decided to be more fashion shoot than red carpet. After deliberating, Danna is chosen as the winner with Ben and Evangelin coming in as the bottom two. Jaclyn tells Ben that his style was a mess, and he responds by laughing. The judges look at him like he’s lost it, and Ben apologizes but still can’t stop laughing, blaming it on being nervous. Evangelin is told that she used too many pieces and it wasn’t elegant - and she is the one cut. She gives the obligatory speech, cries, then hugs (almost) everyone before she leaves. Take those shears with you, woman.
Check out the next show, as Tabatha dreams of kicking Tyson’s ass and the stylists must create period hairstyles. Let's hope they skip the 80's, as I don't want any bad hair flashbacks. I think I have a hole in the ozone named after me from all the hairspray I used back then.