The only thing more cheesy than seeing Barbara Walters tell “The View” audience on Tuesday about how her dog talks to her was Wednesday’s “Rock Star” finale. (No, really, her doggy Cha Cha told Baba, or so she said, “I wuv you.” I am not making this up. Go to [FA edit] if you don’t believe me.)
I don’t mean to diss the singers; they were good for the most part, and I particularly thought Toby was great. But over the last few months, I just could not take this show seriously because the Supernova band is just such a laughable bunch of hacks. Yes, I know they can play their instruments, yada yada. But can you really say any of these guys is a credible font of creativity? I think not.
Every time Gilby Clarke or Jason Newsted would wax philosophical about songwriting and vocal performance, I just had to giggle. I mean, who are these guys to dispense advice on… anything?
Clarke’s most famous for being fired from Guns n’ Roses, and Newsted was in Metallica… for a while. I just kept coming back to the question -- who cares what these guys think? They seemed well-meaning enough, but if we’re talking about truly rocking, I’d much rather go see the House Band (which is touring with Supernova later this year -- and that would be the only reason to go to one of their concerts).
The funniest moment of Wednesday night was when Clarke offered to produce Dilana Robichaux’s album after she wasn’t picked as the band’s singer. Run, Dilana, run away!
It’s bad enough that Lukas Rossi has to be saddled with the title of Supernova frontman. They’ll no doubt put out one crappy album and then disband (but first, as Newsted pointed out, they’re going to rock Albany! On tour! Rock on!). Boy, that’s a great start to a career. As a footnote.
But Dilana (and Lukas too, he of the excessive eye glitter) deserves better than being associated with the collection of has-beens on this season of “Rock Star.” Oh, and I haven’t forgotten Tommy Lee. Who could forget the fact that week after week, when it came to the female contestants, he mainly rated the hotness of their looks? “Why are you wearing clothes at all?” seemed to be his ultimate assessment of their vocal stylings, when you read between the lines. Ugh.
But duuude, Dave Navarro made it all worthwhile. How many ways could he find to say the sentence, “Dude, you rocked that!” So many, really. And on Wednesday, he provided the night’s most “Spinal Tap” moment when at the end, he yelled, “I want to be entertained up in this [expletive]! I gots to get entertained up in this [expletive]!”
Well, despite the pretty good singing on display this season, I don’t think “Rock Star” was worthwhile overall. Because frankly, the prospect of a Supernova concert excites me about as much as a tax audit.