Rock Star: Supernova 8/22/06 Recap: This Show, Literally, Is Going to the Dogs
Can it be!? We have but three short weeks until Supernova chooses their non-gender-specific frontperson! Last week, we were “treated” to a “dramatic debut” featuring Dilana jamming out with the band on a new original track, and there were dancing girls, strobe lights, an entirely different camera quality, and, though I’m not sure, I think I remember W.C. Sarsaparilla’s Traveling Medicine Show backing it all up, throwing free Verizon Wireless phones into the audience. Were you impressed? Was I? You can just wonder. Cough, cough. Supernova says they are looking forward to jamming with the next lucky contestant.
Anyway, we are getting down to the wire, and let’s get back to the rock, shall we? Tonight, we have a special guest judge, Chopper. Chopper is pretty much an industry expert, given all the years he’s spent as Gilby’s lapdog. Yes, ma’am, this is really happening.
Humans are Susceptible to Illness. Technology is the Key.
Kicking off the jams is Patrice, who is performing her original tune, “Beautiful Thing.” It’s actually a pretty decent song—very hooky and “traditional rock” with a nice synthesizer jab thrown in. Patrice, as usual, wields her SG and delivers the tune with relish. Oh, and it’s a very cheery song. It makes Zwan, if you remember them, look pretty dour in comparison. Is this a bad thing?
Dave congratulates Patrice on her big song debut, says it’s a good song, but then suggests that if she’s really into that type of material, it would probably be better to shoot for a solo career. “But wait!” says Tommy. It’s a great song and slightly happy, but we can fix it! We have the technology! So, coming soon: Patrice as The $16,000,000 Woman. Jason asks how it feels to debut her song, and Patrice goes off into some story about making a pact with her guitarist when she was 19 to never have a day job . . . but time is money, and we’re moving on.
Magni, vested in a beanie, takes the stage next with Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” We found out from the MSN online show that he’s feeling a bit under the weather, so it’s inspiring to see him really sing the daylights out of the song! Dude! Kurt would, for once, be proud. Magni can just scream so musically. All the assembly line workers who worry that robots will take over their jobs . . . take heart. Magni has struck back for humanity.
Dave loves it. He says Magni is great, vocally, and can turn in the angst when angst is asked of him.
Hey, speaking of Dave, his new band, The Panic Channel, just released its album, (ONe), and I really like it. It’s been under quite a flackattack from the press, but you should check it out. In fact, I’m listening to it now, instead of typing my fingers to the bone as I probably should.
Jason loved the energy Magni stirred in the room, but Tommy has a question . . . why didn’t he play guitar? For Tommy, the song is so iconic with Kurt’s guitar playing that he can’t really see it any other way. Magni says he didn’t want to be tied down with the instrument—you know, like Supernova ALWAYS complains about people doing. But, Tommy has a simple solution. Simply play the first verse, smash your guitar, and be free. Fine, Tommy. Maybe you can do that, because you eat money sandwiches (and don’t play guitar). Smashing or not, Magni and Paul Mirkovich triumphantly high-five as the Magnanimous One exits the stage.
Kid-Tested, Mom Approved
Ryan was ready to fight for his original song, “Back of Your Car,” and didn’t really have to fight at all, as his opponent, Storm, backed off after an initial boxing challenge. Ryan is supremely confident in his songwriting, stating in the online show that his “mom loves [it.]” The first thing I notice when he begins singing is his red, red tongue—he puts the Kool-Aid Man to shame. Oh Yeah! But his song really rocks, possessing a driving (hee) beat and great, wailing vocals. I would definitely buy it as a single. At the high point of the piece, Ryan flings off the Gibson Black Beauty that he’s been playing and storms around the stage, slightly less but still awkwardly. That guitar, by the way, is listed at $6,645.00, for those of you keeping score at home. Mercifully, it lands unscathed. Don’t get me wrong. I love the angry rock Hulk smash and once did a number on a ukulele, myself, but I also bought that thing in Tijuana for 50 pesos.
I’m getting off-track. Yay, Ryan! Dave, standing up, says performing it was a great call, and this was the most rockin’ he’s ever seen Ryan. Tommy, concurs, adding that it was the most comfortable Ryan’s looked onstage. Finally, Gilby asks if Ryan could see that song as a Supernova track, and Ryan replies, “absolutely.” Well, that’s great news! I guess we can turn the lights back off. Cough, cough.
Somebody made the right move, so let’s see if Storm, who, once again, picked the song nobody wanted, fares as well with Aerosmith’s “Cryin’.” It’s Aerosmith, so I’ve got an automatic aversion to it, but perhaps Storm can put her own touch on it. Thankfully for all involved, Storm positively kills the song, temporarily making me forget Steven Tyler’s caterwauling, and, more importantly, his face. No, that corset she opted for tonight definitely wasn’t a bad choice.
Dave loves it, calling it “awesome” and “1000% better than last week.” He further explains that he was so underwhelmed by last week’s “I Will Survive” because he knows she’s capable of performances like this, and jokes that he’ll need his corset back. “Come get it, bitch,” Storm jibes right back. Tommy, predictably, calls it great and only suggests “less clothes” next time. Gilby, obviously too distracted by his dog, says it was great, but he wants everything extra-special from here on out. With sugar on top, too? Geez. Jason says she made it her own, so good on [her].
Dragonflylashes, EVS, and Putting Your Best Side Forward
The whole era of the Eighties was a strange time, and it still influences people to do strange things. For example, Jason’s fingerless gloves. Also, last week, Toby ran around the pool naked to get Peter Gabriel’s “Solsbury Hill.”
Well, this week, he turned the tables on Dilana, forcing her to run the fleshy race for The Police’s “Every Breath You Take.” Lord only knows why, because it’s a horrible, trite, overdone song. Oh, it also happens to be Dilana’s estranged mother’s favorite song, and Dilana’s doing it for her. Well, that doesn’t change the fact that Sting should have stuck to his short-lived acting career. Seriously, his performance as Feyd-Rautha in Dune? Stunning. Cough, cough.
Taking it all from the ridiculous to the ridonkuloid is Dilana’s outfit, which is the same candy-goth sort of ensemble she donned for the Cyndi Lauper tune, but with the addition of six-inch, pink, false eyelashes, which make her eyes look perpetually rolled back. On top of this, she sings a bit flat and—unless I’ve been inhaling more lead that I thought—works her own name into the song several times. The whole affair is uncomfortable, and I’m glad when it’s over.
Dave loves the eyelashes, pointing out that Dilana looks like Bambi. Gilby praises her for her good performance instincts, and Jason asks why (oh, why) she ran nekkid for this song. You know the story, and Manny is surely going straight to hell for not giving the performance a free pass for it, right?
Now . . . oh Lord. Toby is performing Eric Clapton’s “Layla.” You know, only one of the greatest songs ever written, as wonderful as “Every Breath You Take” is abysmal. Oh ho ho, I hope he doesn’t screw it up!
He changes the arrangement slightly, opening with some down-the-octave singing over Rafael’s vamping the opening riff, and kicking into the traditional wail-fest on the second verse. It’s really quite good, and I have to praise Toby for his pipes, which make the song seem easy. The House Band, of course, is incredible. Then, midway through the spiraling web of blues torment, Toby tears his hoodie off, revealing a crayon-scrawled “EVS” on his chest. Apparently, that’s Aussie hooligan talk for “whatever.” Okay, whatever, dude. I don’t get it, but he did a nice job at any rate.
Dave makes an allusion to the “Thunder from Down Under,” which is laughable on a few levels, and calls it definitely “entertaining.” Tommy says the ladies certainly loved it, and somebody plays the obligatory “girls screaming” tape. Gilby says that rearranging the songs was a risk, and though he didn’t love the arrangement, he made up for it with the performance delivery.
Finally, we arrive at Lukas’ big finale, in which he will put his spin on The Killers’ “All These Things That I’ve Done.” Here’s the part where I cuss out my local station and their commercials, because I might have missed the very beginning of Lukas’ performance—I’m not too familiar with this song. When I was tuned in, at any rate, Lukas was coming the closest I’ve ever heard him get to Jeff Buckley. What an excellent upper range he has! Still, it only gets better as he twirls about the stage and primps his hair in the reflection on Rafael’s shiny guitar. Classic!
Dave calls it “unbelievable.” Tommy, inexplicably, just says “Check, please,” and drops his mic. Is this good? Bad? A demand to his handlers to bring him another $100 bill sandwich? I know not. Gilby questions Lukas’ constant turning his back to the audience. Lukas takes the opportunity to compliment the House Band, saying that, while he loves the audience, he also loves his band, and he wants to give them some love for the two minutes he gets with ‘em. Jason concludes by giving kudos to Lukas’ energy and “killer” performance. Hyuck, hyuck.
Well, there it is. I’m feeling a little too ill to write a good outro, so I’ll just tell you the early bottom three and then I must away: Patrice, Storm, Toby? EVS, man.
Thanks to my good friend suncat7 for some inspiration, because I really was a rock star tonight and OD’d on Afrin. Thank you, and goodnight!