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Thread: Rock Star: Supernova 8/08/06 recap- A Flat Tire On The Interstate

  1. #1
    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
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    Rock Star: Supernova 8/08/06 recap- A Flat Tire On The Interstate

    Iím glad I bought the jumbo bag of cheesy-poofs because I could not leave my couch. This competition is heating up folks, and like last year, those who truly want to front a rock band are out for the kill.

    There are ten singers vying for the honor of fronting Supernova and I have to admit my hope for a kick ass season is finally starting to come true. There were some bumps in the road but now that the schlock of performers are dwindling, the real talent is beginning to stand out.

    As promised last week, Magni was gifted a visit from his wife and son. It wasnít long before the little tyke was jamming on daddyís guitar, working that whammy bar like a champ. Kidding, but it wouldíve been hilarious if true.

    There were all sorts of goings-on throughout the house. Zayra was designing her outfit for the performance show. It must be difficult to sew two pieces of dental floss to a one inch square of rubber but she managed to do it. Lukas is going for a more heartfelt gig instead of being so angry. Ah-ha! I knew it was just an act.

    Dilana pulled the golden ticket. Sheíll be performing with Gilby. Itís not as if she was the lucky one. For some strange reason, none of the other contestants wanted the chance to perform on stage with their future band mate. Even Dave Navarro is baffled. He proclaims Dilana the winner by default. Yep, you just know the others are doing the uncomfortable-shift-in- their-seats move right about now.

    Dilana- No Longer Fooling Around
    And on that note, Dilana takes the stage with Gilby to perform Wonít Be Fooled Again by The Who. After the accolades Dave heaped on her, she couldíve mimed the song and still come out looking like a champ.

    There was no need for miming, however. Dilana and Gilby were as natural as a pile of panties on a tour bus. You canít help but notice the difference between Dilana and Jillís stage presence with Gilby. While Jill needed to gyrate her body on Gilby, Dilana needed nothing of the sort. She owned the stage as any good lead singer should. The band heaped mountains of praise on her with Gilby finishing it off telling us all that he has no doubt a woman can front Supernova. Oh yeah, the song wasnít sung half bad either.

    Jill- Mother, Mother Make It Stop!
    Capitalizing on her save-your-ass performance last week, Jill hopes to keep her foot out of her mouth and firmly planted on the stage. Sheís going deeper and darker this week with Tracy Bonhamís Mother Mother.

    Attempting to connect with the teenage malcontent, Jill smears her make-up, darkens her hair and unlaces her $300 leather boots. Itís your typical teenage poser attitude: complain about life in your online blog while sitting all comfy in your Midwest suburban home, complete with all the latest techno-gadgets that mommy and daddy worked their asses off to give you.

    In between stomping the floor and pouting, Jill does manage to pull of a better show than previous weeks. Sheís not as sexual which is actually nice to see. While Dave and Tommy like what they saw, Gilby comes through as the voice of reason. He warns her not to let the power of her voice suffer while performing on the stage.

    Ryan- A Little Nookie Does The Voice Wonders
    Whoa. Who snuck talent into Ryanís glass of milk these last two weeks? I was a tad leery about him doing a Rolling Stones cover but he did an amazing job of Paint It Black.

    Clad in a black hoody, Ryan appears from the crowd while the eerie intro begins. In a burst of flashing lights and gusto guitar riffs, Ryan peels back his hood and reveals painted eyes that would make the Lone Ranger green with envy. Itís captivating. Itís fun. Itís what this show was meant to be about.

    Dave is beside himself, giggling and snorting. Gilby is impressed as well. But it is Tommy who offers up the best explanation of how suddenly Ryan is on top: ďhe got laid last week.Ē Ok, I admit that was my first thought as well.

    Storm- Bigger and Larger
    Is it me or does Queen seem to be the quantifier for these competition shows? I mean, if you pull off a Queen song, youíre as good as gold, right?

    Storm does a remarkable job of pulling off We Are The Champoins. I usually get a little uneasy when someone tries to cover this song. Freddie Mercury is a tough act to follow. Storm keeps it simple and I love how she gets the crowd involved with a little a capella and change in the vocals. Sheís dressed in a dainty designer tee and low rider jeans that show just enough tattoo to make you curious. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

    The kudos are all around with the band and Dave. Jason loved the arrangement and vocals. Tommy thought she sang the hell out of it but hopes they didnít spook her into not rocking it hard. Storm doesnít miss a beat by letting him know that sheíll spank the crap out of him again. Meeeeow.

    Zayra- Agh! My Eyes, Their Burning!
    Brooke brings up a good point. Weíre always wondering what Zayra will be wearing. I could probably spend this whole recap dissecting her wardrobe and what goes through her head. The sad part about this is that it totally deflects from her voice and performance. Oh wait, maybe thatís a good thing?

    Zayra covers up a little more this week with a full body latex suit that shimmers gold. She has 9 inch ďdo meĒ pumps and a black top hat that clears a good two stories high. While her legs go on for days, her hair drops down to her elbows. I suppose this is a fitting outfit for her cover of All The Young Dudes. It is slightly reminiscent of Bowieís Ziggy Stardust days with a new millennium slutty twist.

    Vocally, itís not really that bad and with the guest appearance of Magni on guitar, itís definitely better than previous weeks. She surely appears to be enjoying her song and itís showing. Iím guessing with the full body suit, she doesnít have to worry about a string snapping and thus she can concentrate on actually singing.

    Gilby loves her showmanship but tells her to watch the keys of her song. She was flat a few times. Tommy admires her confidence which is a good thing for a front woman.

    Josh- Time To Pull Over For Some Gas
    Josh is refusing to compromise his style, so take that Supernova. I guess this means weíll finally see what heís all about? Josh looks good and confident on stage as heís getting ready to rock out to Stone Temple Pilotís Interstate Love Song, a sentimental favorite of mine. I actually used to have the intro as my answering machine recording (Iím finally comfortable in admitting that ten years later).

    But wait! Tommy Lee loves this song as well and wants to rock out on the skins with Josh. And just like that Joshís face of confidence sunk and the giant knot in his stomach twisted just a little bit tighter.

    At this point in the competition, Josh has no excuse. To be blunt, he blew the chunks of last nights KFC all over the stage. You could tell he was nervous and his voice quivered. Dave and the band were a bit more complimentary. Tommy wishes he wasnít playing guitar so Josh so could funk it out. Gilby was glad to see Josh sing a real rock song and was happy with it. A part of me wonders if theyíll regret those praises when the aura of Tommy playing the drums wears out.

    Magni- A Lullaby For The Boy
    With all the rockiní, Magni seizes the opportunity to mellow out with an acoustic ditty called The Dolphinís Cry by Live. Itís nicely stripped down. Itís seems fitting for his style and voice.

    The wife and son were in the crowd to enjoy the fun and I chuckle at the oversized ear muffs for the son. Dave congratulates him for being the first one to perform unaccompanied. Magni credits his family for being there and saving his life this week.

    Patrice- Walking On Sunshine
    This is a make or break week for Patrice. She canít afford another bottom three performance. What better song to sing than Instant Karma! by John Lennon.

    Itís fun. Itís sugary and sweet. Itís like the encore at an Sheryl Crow concert. Patrice is spunky on stage with her Colgate smile and teased pigtails. She was jamming her guitar and even the other contestants sheathed their knives and got up and danced.

    Gilby thought it was a great song for her voice and he thought she shouldnít have been in the bottom three last week. Tommy gave her kudos as well. And Jason? He nodded along. Heís been quiet tonight.

    Lukas- Heís BackÖFinally
    Leaping lizards, mates. As if we havenít already seen some great performances, Lukas comes out and blows everyone away. After a craptacular previous week, I was interested to see what Lukas would do to redeem himself.

    Thereís no better way to erase a bad week than covering Radio headís Creep. Lukas keeps it mellow at first by making love to his microphone, pouring his soul onto the stage and then submerging himself in it. You know itís coming, the predictable crescendo in which weíll all go nuts. Yet, Lukas still makes it awesome. He let it loose this week. He rocked.

    The band went nuts and gave him a standing ovation. Gilby loved how Lukas surprised him. Tommy Lee had a goose bump moment and Jason said it was the first time that Lukas used his gift properly.

    Toby- Burning Down The Stage
    Poor guy. Following Lukas is like giving a book report on evaporation after an Einstein lecture on time travel. Toby hopes to keep it optimistic by singing Bringing Down The House by The Talking Heads.

    So what does Toby do? He pulls out the megaphone gimmick that JD Fortune made so popular last year. In fact, the whole performance sounded like the B side of an INXS album. Vocally, it wasnít too bad. It just wasnít Lukas.

    Dave liked the song all the way up until the megaphone. Toby doesnít need a prop to make a song good. Jason doesnít mind the megaphone as itís nice to see things changed up a bit.

    So there you have it. As the show ends, the bottom three consist of Jill, Zayra and Patrice. Me and my little fingers are off to vote for Patrice. Stay tuned, stay rocking and stay groovy!
    You got to cry without weeping. Talk without speaking. Scream without raising your voice.- U2

  2. #2
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Oh, Speedy . . . this recap completely made my evening--I was cracking up at your colorful language throughout. Truly a Lukas-calibre effort, my friend!

    Quote Originally Posted by speedbump
    It wasn’t long before the little tyke was jamming on daddy’s guitar, working that whammy bar like a champ.

    It must be difficult to sew two pieces of dental floss to a one inch square of rubber but she managed to do it.

    Attempting to connect with the teenage malcontent, Jill smears her make-up, darkens her hair and unlaces her $300 leather boots. It’s your typical teenage poser attitude: complain about life in your online blog while sitting all comfy in your Midwest suburban home, complete with all the latest techno-gadgets that mommy and daddy worked their asses off to give you.

    Ryan peels back his hood and reveals painted eyes that would make the Lone Ranger green with envy.

    She has 9 inch “do me” pumps and a black top hat that clears a good two stories high.

    Poor guy. Following Lukas is like giving a book report on evaporation after an Einstein lecture on time travel.

  3. #3
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    OK, I don't know how you guys manage to whip these up so fast...AND still make them so entertaining! I was laughing throughout. Thanks, Speedy!

  4. #4
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    Who snuck talent into Ryanís glass of milk these last two weeks?

    To be blunt, he blew the chunks of last nights KFC all over the stage.
    Great job, Speedy!
    Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted - John Lennon

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    When I'm 64 William13's Avatar
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    A great job as always. I almost (emphasis on almost) wish Zayra was going to stay longer. I hate watching her and I hate listening to her, but I love to read your descriptions of her.
    One little point of disagreement - JD totally screwed up Queen and won the whole competition, so maybe aceing a Queen song is not a plus.
    It wasn’t long before the little tyke was jamming on daddy’s guitar, working that whammy bar like a champ. Kidding, but it would’ve been hilarious if true.
    Now I can't get the picture of Magni bringing his son on stage to perform with him on the finale out of my head.
    Another entertaining recap.
    "The sun rose promptly at dawn."
    Tom Clancy in his novel The Teeth of the Tiger

  6. #6
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by speedbump View Post
    It wasnít long before the little tyke was jamming on daddyís guitar, working that whammy bar like a champ. Kidding, but it wouldíve been hilarious if true.


    Dilana and Gilby were as natural as a pile of panties on a tour bus.


    It is slightly reminiscent of Bowieís Ziggy Stardust days with a new millennium slutty twist.


    Itís fun. Itís sugary and sweet. Itís like the encore at an Sheryl Crow concert.

    Following Lukas is like giving a book report on evaporation after an Einstein lecture on time travel.
    You rock, speedy

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