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Thread: Rock Star: Supernova 7/26 Recap- The Hatchet Drops, The Flaming Umbrella Fizzles

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    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
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    Rock Star: Supernova 7/26 Recap- The Hatchet Drops, The Flaming Umbrella Fizzles

    I just painted my fingernails, laced up a pair of leather pants, swirled my purple feather boa around my shoulder and gave my mirror two thumbs up. No, I’m not heading to Daffy’s House of Pain and Torture. I’m traipsing to my couch to watch Rock Star in my favorite Dave Navarro outfit. Yeesh, the things us fans do…

    It’s results night, folks, and the twelve drummers drumming will soon be eleven pipers piping. That’s not a bad thing, mind you. Tommy Lee pretty much has the speak softly but carry a big drumstick thing covered.


    In case you didn’t catch last night’s show, Brooke takes us on a whirlwind jaunt through the highs and lows of last night’s performances. Lukas was being Lukas (which in this case is a good Lukas) and Toby curled the upper lip for some Billy Idol. Ryan livened up a Live cover and Dilana seduced us once again with a smoky rendition of Time After Time. I want to dislike her so much but I can’t. She’s unique. She’s captivating. She’s the Segway of rock-n-roll.

    Oh poor Phil. How many lives does this kid have? Zayra took a little spill and landed in some latex in an attempt to hide her horrendous Blondie imitation. Call You I won’t. After last night, it’s becoming more clear who has the street cred versus those who are being kept in order to stretch this show out for the summer.

    Back to the live show, Tommy throws some mad props to Storm for her stage diving. Patrice assures Dave that she’s striving for consistency. I’m guessing that’s code for not wanting to take a risk. Gilby wants to know when Zayra’s bubblegum pop show stops and when the rock begins. After realizing that she has no clue how to answer that question, Zayra promises to bring the rock next week. Now that’s a clever way to keep you around for another week.

    Phil brings up a good point about song selection and not to veer too far off topic, he’s right about that. Tainted Love is great if you’re still wearing that little off-the-shoulder pastel number hanging in your closet since 1982. Blind Melon was catchy in the 90’s, too. But c’mon, this is about being a rock star. Let’s get some Foghat and .38 Special thrown into the mix.

    They Love Me, They Love Me Not
    I’m beginning to think there’s a love/ hate relationship going on with Supernova and Jill Gioia. They must love watching Jill put her dainty foot in her mouth but hate the fact that there are suckier contestants that must be voted out first.

    If you missed it, Jill had a chance to sing alongside Gilby last night. Imitating a scene from the classic movie Showgirls, she did a little humpty-hump on Gilbey’s bumpty-bump. Gilby urged her to use her talent, not her body, to shine on stage. Back at the mansion after the show, Jill dismissed the comment saying Gilby was used to being on stage with Axel Rose.

    Gilby wants to know if this is how the future with Supernova will be: always arguing back and forth. Jill wants to know why she can’t use her sexuality to which Gilby let’s her in on a little secret. He played with Heart and never had Ann Wilson grind on his leg. He thinks it’s gimmicky and likens it to a bad act at the Holiday Inn.

    Jill digs herself deeper into a hole when she knowingly proclaims that “everything in rock-n-roll has been done already” to which a chorus of boos erupts from the audience. Even Tommy Lee wakes up from his drunken stupor and makes a buzzer sound before lowering his hat and dozing off again.

    Stormin’ The Stage
    Now that the little tÍte-ŗ-tÍte is over, it’s time to get back to the music with tonight’s encore performance. Yeah…I got a feeling that Magni won’t be doing this one. No, tonight the stage is reserved for Storm Large.

    What an encore it was. Full of energy and mojo, Storm sang to the crowd and to the lone guy that weaseled his way up front. Lucky bastard. It was Any Thing, Any Thing but boring and she did the Dramarama cover justice.

    Following the rousing performance Brooke delivers the buzz kill with the list of everyone who was in the bottom three at some point during the voting.

    Jill, Josh and Zarya we the three who were in the bottom three after the first few minutes of voting when the show ended. Phil and Patrice found themselves in the bottom three at some point last night as well.

    You‘re Not An Addict…But Can You Sing?
    Patrice finds herself the first person who finished in the final bottom three. Looking back to last night’s performance of Remedy, It’s pretty clear why Patrice is singing for her life. If that wasn’t bad enough, she had the guts to get snarky with Navarro.

    And just when you think you can’t top that, Patrice goes for broke with Radiohead’s My Iron Lung. Somewhere Thom Yorke is stabbing his eyes out with environmentally friendly pencils. It’s not horrible; in fact, it’s probably the best of the bottom three performances. It’s just not Radiohead. It’s safe to say that this’ll get her through to next week.

    Zayra is the next singer who landed in the final bottom three. Gilbey did not dig last night’s song. Dave cautioned her to get started on a solo career “right now!”

    Dressed in the latest Mylar balloon fashion wear, Zayra strips down Not An Addict by K’s Choice. Just the roller coaster pitchiness of her voice and a guitar. It was the emotion she exuded that gave her performance glimpses of greatness and she connected with everybody in the room. It was if she knew she was going home, complete with tears and all. Buck up little camper. Phil’s in the bottom three. There’s hope for you yet.

    As if there was any surprise that Phil rounded out the bottom three? This poor guy is barely hanging on. After butchering The Wallflowers last night, Tommy Lee wonders if an audience could handle that kind of music for an hour and a half. The head bobble isn’t working for Jason. It worries him. It worries me too. Do we need the stage hand to keep duct tape on standby?

    Put This Flame Out
    Phil decides to shake things up with a little ditty titled Smoking Umbrellas by an obscure band called Failure. Jason hopes that isn’t an omen. I’m hoping it’s a blessing. Now, I’m all for obscurity (Lick The Tins, anyone?) but give us something we can at least tap our foot to. Phil fails to deliver the performance we can remember and I inch forward to the edge of my couch in anticipation of what I hope is about to come.

    With Patrice, Zayra and Phil back on stage, it’s time to get down to business. Who will Tommy drop the hatchet on tonight?

    Patrice: her voice is what’s keeping her in this show. Gilby is worried that she brings nothing new to the table but that changed with tonight’s performance. She’s good to go for another week.

    Zayra: she’s original but the band is having a hard time imagining that she’s right for the them.

    Phil: that was his best performance to date but Gilby doesn’t believe that he wants it bad enough.

    Tommy “The Hatchet Man” Lee delivers the final blow. It’s about commitment and because of that, Supernova questions Phil’s commitment. It’s time for him to go. With one fell swoop, it’s over. It’s safe to sigh now.

    And that my friends, wraps up another great week of Rock Star. Let’s keep our fingers crossed in hopes of hearing some Bachman Turner Overdive.
    Last edited by speedbump; 07-28-2006 at 08:01 AM.
    You got to cry without weeping. Talk without speaking. Scream without raising your voice.- U2

  2. #2
    Reality Lite Weight LiteWeightLiz's Avatar
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    Superb re-cap, Speed! I laughed.... I cried.... (well, not really, I just laughed A LOT! )

    This is my favorite line:

    Jill digs herself deeper into a hole when she knowingly proclaims that ďeverything in rock-n-roll has been done alreadyĒ to which a chorus of boos erupts from the audience. Even Tommy Lee wakes up from his drunken stupor and makes a buzzer sound before lowering his hat and dozing off again.
    Quote: "Going cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds." -- Homer Simpson

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    Endlessly ShrinkingViolet's Avatar
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    Great recap, Speedster! I loved all your subtitles. Glad you were dressed for success and "two thumbs up-good" to recap this for us!

    Itís results night, folks, and the twelve drummers drumming will soon be eleven pipers piping. Thatís not a bad thing, mind you. Tommy Lee pretty much has the speak softly but carry a big drumstick thing covered.

    Zayra took a little spill and landed in some latex in an attempt to hide her horrendous Blondie imitation. Call You I wonít.

    Full of energy and mojo, Storm sang to the crowd and to the lone guy that weaseled his way up front. Lucky bastard.

    Dressed in the latest Mylar balloon fashion wear, Zayra strips down Not An Addict by Kís Choice.

    Jason hopes that isnít omen. Iím hoping itís a blessing.

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    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    Ack, Speedy! A purple boa and painted fingernails? There goes my mental image of you.

    Anyhow, great recap - very funny!
    It was me. I let the dogs out.

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    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Speedy, another fantastic job! Thanks for that!

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    Being VIP Yardgnome's Avatar
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    Great recap, Speedy!

    I missed most of it since I was watching it in fast forward.

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    Quote Originally Posted by speedbump View Post
    Itís about commitment and because of that, Supernova questions Philís commitment. Itís time for him to go
    About "commitment", did Josh and Zayra have more commitment than Phil? Josh will not let go of his blues and Zayra will not let go of her eccentric pop, no matter how many times they have already been warned on stage. How are the committed to Supernova's hard rock style? At least, poor Phil was trying (last week), though his bobblehead thing was not working.

    Quote Originally Posted by speedbump View Post
    Full of energy and mojo, Storm sang to the crowd and to the lone guy that weaseled his way up front.
    Usually, there are only girls in front of the stage, but when Storm did her stagedive last Tuesday, weren't there a bunch of guys strategically positioned right there to catch her? No offense gals, but if someone dives on us, we would move away to protect our makeup :-) Was it a staged stagedive?

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    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SurferBlonde View Post
    About "commitment", did Josh and Zayra have more commitment than Phil? Josh will not let go of his blues and Zayra will not let go of her eccentric pop, no matter how many times they have already been warned on stage. How are the committed to Supernova's hard rock style? At least, poor Phil was trying (last week), though his bobblehead thing was not working.
    I think this goes back to what LAGuy and Blues Songstres have told us from the live tapings... Josh and Zayra never said on record that they're doing this to further their own careers (outside of Supernova). Phil did (in a newspaper article) and Dave called him on it. (I tend to think that they're all doing it to further their careers--as they should--but none of the others were stupid enough to verbalize it to the media.)

  9. #9
    When I'm 64 William13's Avatar
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    There were lots of little comments throughout that made the recap very funny and unlike Zayra I believe the humour was intentional. A great recap of a show that was not good enough to deserve it.
    "The sun rose promptly at dawn."
    Tom Clancy in his novel The Teeth of the Tiger

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    FORT Fogey live4romance's Avatar
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    Great recap Speedbump. The visual you paint of yourself is hilarious!

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