Rock Star: Supernova 7/25/06 Recap – Grinding is a Matter of Perception, Kids
Hi, you guys; how’s it goin’? Welcome back to Rock Star: Supernova. Brooke greets us tonight with slightly frizzy hair and one of those tops that I don’t like. The ones that make everyone look pregnant. You could put it on Tommy Lee, and he’d look pregnant. Well, except he probably is, and we need to alert child services. Jason has also gotten a haircut, because his hair is even shorter. Now, everyone complained about the Metallica haircuts, and I thought it was a little ridonkuloid to get riled up about, but I have to admit that it’s getting out of control with this.
And I don’t know why I’m such a fashionista tonight—I’ll try to keep it under control.
Anyway, this week the good ol’ boys from Supernova paid the contestants a little visit in the mansion. They ate, they drank, they were merry, and Gilby played the rockers some ultra-secret Supernova demo tracks to give them a better idea of their musical direction. They also had a whole “songwriting” challenge, so you should check out the online MSN show. It’s rad.
Oh, and tonight, Gilby Clarke will join one lucky contestant onstage! Whom will it be? If you watched the MSN show, like I told you in the last paragraph, you’d already know. So what are you waiting for, Holmes?
It Doesn’t Matter if it is Good; It Only Matters if it Rocks!
Kicking off the night is Lukas, who is fully equipped for rockage with his Les Paul. He performs The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony,” a much-beloved tune, and puts his usual gravelly spin on it. It’s a good performance, but he doesn’t even touch that guitar until the end of the piece. I guess it’s real purpose was to distract us with a shiny object. Well, I can tell you . . . it didn’t wo . . . what was I saying? Yay, Lukas!
Dave says it was a great job/dope/awesome and commends him for switching it up every week. Tommy says that it was exactly how he, himself, would do the song. Jason agrees that it was a great, energetic performance, but again urges Lukas to open up and stop constricting his voice . . . instead, he should crush it! Oh, he’s crushed, all right. Lukas, as such, proceeds to mope the whole night, like a freakin’ whiny emo kid. Honestly. He tries very hard to look as bored and aloof as possible for the remainder of the evening. If he could, he’d probably threaten to cut himself over his webcam. Whatever.
Next up is Zayra, who is ready to sing “Call Me,” by Blondie. A fantastic song by a fantastic group, really, and OH MY G WHAT IS SHE WEARING!? It’s an electric-blue catsuit that looks like Ziggy Stardust crashed his Major Tom space capsule into a Sousa Military Band. Nice fetish outfit, Sergeant. Pepper. I’m almost too shocked to notice the performance, but she quickly gets off-key to the point where you can’t ignore it. Also, she thrashes around, trying to look sexy/crazy, but just gets out of breath, immediately apparent in her singing. It’s funny.
The guys laugh throughout the performance, and I don’t think it’s with her. Dave ponders if Z is right for Supernova, and advises her to get started on a solo career, stat! Gilby concurs, saying that Z has lost him again. Z, par for course, thinks that she did a wonderful job. Tommy only notes on the outfit . . . saying that the last time he saw one of those, he woke up the next day with bite marks and boot marks.
**Normally I wouldn’t contribute to the delinquency of our younger members this way, but the insinuation here, kids, is that he also got some in the process. But he didn’t! Take note of the wordsmithing and learn. And don’t do drugs, either, or you’ll talk funny like Uncle Tom here.**
It’s Dana’s turn to take the stage, and she’s chosen to rock an acoustic rendition of Nirvana’s “About a Girl.” Definitely one of their overlooked tracks. Dana’s sporting frizz in the hair, eyeliner that isn’t nancy-lookin’, and her autographed guitar . . . and she really hits this one out of the park. Though seated the whole time, there’s an intensity to her glare and sting to her vocals that makes it entirely credible and enjoyable to watch.
“You’re finally looking damaged enough to be a rock singer!” declares Dave, who goes on to elucidate upon the dangers of well-collected rock stars. Jason declares the performance “her best yet,” and Gilby says Dana seems like a totally different person. Her secret? She chugged a beer before going onstage. Hey, it worked for The Replacements.
But, like the sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Patrice now takes the stage to perform the Black Crowes’ “Remedy,” the most overdone song ever. Unlike Dana, absolutely nothing has changed about Patrice or her delivery—only that she is dressed as a fierce Norse warrior in all that fur and hide. Seriously. That’s unnecessary.
Dave points out that she hasn’t evolved too much, and it’s starting to bore him. Patrice asks whether Dave changes what he does every show, and Dave fires back that he already has a job and she is auditioning. Ouch! Gilby echoes Dave’s sentiments and issues her a “warning.” Double ouch!
Perhaps Toby can spice things up with a showing from everyone’s biggest idol, Billy Idol. Toby, no doubt still reeling from his non-rockish performance last week, sings “White Wedding,” and he’s really set to prove something. You might say it’s a nice day to start again. I’m disappointed that there is no unwrapping of the scarf, but hey. His vocals are powerful and his stage presence is effective.
Tommy simply lets the crowd speak for him as they go wild on cue. Gilby notes that Toby’s lower-end vocals were a little pitchy, but that shouldn’t come as a surprise since Toby’s speaking voice is highly high. Finally, Jason scores it as a victory for the Tobester, calling it his “best yet!”
Heroes and Villains
Magni, whose nickname has apparently become “The Iceman,” cometh to perform David Bowie’s “Heroes,” which I consider one of the greatest songs ever written. Heck, putting it in a Windows commercial couldn’t even diminish its power! Magni’s brought his guitar out, as well, and I think he does an incredible job with the song. His vocals are impassioned, and he’s hardly a slouch on the guitar, either!
Tommy inquires on Magni-um Opus’ (superior nickname) choice to use the guitar and essentially anchor himself onstage. Magni replies that it’s one of the greatest songs in the world, so he didn’t want to put on blue spandex and run around. Oh snap! Jason points out how the song could/should be sung to each person in the audience, and Magni replies that he’s singing to someone across the globe, and he’ll get to the rest of them later. Aww, he must be singing to his “queen.” Finally, Gilby concludes that it was a great performance, but the wrong approach. I find it interesting that Supernova had problems with Magni’s addition of the guitar when he actually played it, and Lukas’ mostly hung there like a vestigial organ.
Ryan Star is up next and DEFINITELY HAVING FUN. He’s smiling so much, it’s obvious that he’s HAVING FUN. My favorite moments are when the smile begins to fade and you have that little awkward face. Ha! He’s performing Live’s “I Alone,” an old favorite of mine, and his vocals don’t do a lot for me. It’s all right, but considering the ferocity of the original, it doesn’t measure up. To make up for the vocals and his past of not HAVING FUN, Ryan runs around the stage like a post-pubescent on Ritalin and leaps off the drum riser/drums in the grand finale. Didn’t Marilyn Manson break his collarbone trying to do stunts like that? And he’s not even human, so you know it’s dangerous.
Dave thinks it’s “night and day” from Ryan’s previous performances and, indeed, Ryan’s best yet. Tommy says it was a perfect song for Ryan’s voice, while Gilby, for the first time, saw something in this kid. Was it a star?
Now, remember when they announced that Gilby would join a contestant in one of the performances? The time is now! He joins Jill onstage for The Rolling Stones’ “Brown Sugar,” and the online show actually revealed that Jill had to change the key of the song, which took a lot of the punch out of the guitars. So, the man’s patience is probably already wearing thin. To make matters worse, Jill is wearing a not-flattering outfit that barely qualifies as an “outfit,” and hangs/grinds all over Gilby in a display I haven’t seen since a high school dance. Kids these days, huh? Gilby tries to run, but . . . no! She pursues! It’s a state of nature!
Dave thinks that the presence of a Supernova member always kicks up the performance levels of the contestants, and that this was no exception. Gilby argues that the grindage was uncomfortable for him, hence the fleeing, and that it’s just a cheap and weak trick for female performers to rely solely on sexuality when they don’t have to. Dave, however, tells Jill that he has good news . . . it’s all perception, and if he were performing with her, they’d be grinding all night. It makes you wonder what goes on among The Panic Channel, doesn’t it?
There’s No Such Thing as a Rock Prodigy, ‘Cause Rock & Roll is Bogus
Oh, Lordy. Are we almost done? Let’s just say this isn’t measuring up to the Muse concert that I had the privilege of attending last night.
Enter Phil, who, to all appearances, is wearing his daddy’s pants and his mama’s shirt. He performs The Wallflowers’ “One Headlight” and does a passable job, I suppose. Unfortunately for him, it’s not even close to the same league as last week’s “White Rabbit,” as he’s lost his crushing rock god persona and has resorted back to this:
Dave wonders, as we all do, where the intensity went. Tommy likes it, but wonders whether the world is ready for Phil in hour-plus-long doses. He also notes that he likes Phil’s “bobblehead” demeanor, which I find hysterical because, to the best of my knowledge, it was our own Totoro that coined that phrase. Jason, on the other hand, is not amused and says that “if the wobble is instilled,” he’s worried.
My whole “not being a fashionista” idea hasn’t panned out so well, but I’ll ignore Dilana’s bizarre getup, because there are no words for that pink and black nightmare. Instead, I’ll point out that Tommy Lee looks like the Sad Clown with that awful smooshed hat. Now, to the performance: Dilana performs Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” as a duet with rhythm guitarist Jim McGorman, who sings harmony on the chorus and plays acoustic guitar. It’s stripped-down to the max (easy, tiger) and quite breath-taking with the way Dilana draws in the crowd. I guess she can do no wrong!
Dave says he gets chills every time Dilana performs, no matter what the setting. Tommy calls it “enchanting,” and Jason gives major props to Jimmy for the stellar duet he and Dilana created.
Josh only narrowly escaped elimination last week . . . how will he fare with Blind Melon’s “No Rain”? Well, he’s still trying to rock, but I fear he may fall into that category of too-together rock singers that Dave mentioned earlier. The whole song is obviously pure torture for Jason, as they keep cutting to his making faces of torment during Josh’s performance.
Dave thinks that Josh is back to where he was before he was put up for elimination, which obviously doesn’t bode well unless everyone voting at home has changed their minds overnight. Tommy notes that it must have been a tough selection for Mr. Soul Man to tackle, and Josh retorts that he’s missing the soul and wishes that the judges would be more open-minded about his style. That’s the spirit. If someone has a different vision than you, you FORCE them to assimilate! That might work if Josh were in a position of any power, whatsoever. But he’s not. The Sad Clown even trumps him this time. Gilby adds that he should be trying to bridge the gap and meet them between the past and the future.
Finally, it’s up to Storm to lead us out into glory with Dramarama’s “Anything, Anything.” Kind of like Jill, she’s also wearing a “notfit,” but it’s not nearly as offensive when she does it. Unlike Jill, she puts on a performance to be reckoned with as she barrels through the song at a breakneck pace—no doubt giving all the audience members in the front rows quite the show. Her vocals sound great and her presence is impossible to ignore, especially when she finishes by diving off the stage into the eager hands of the crowd. And, even more impressively, she comes back up with all her clothes intact. Hooray!
“You brought it!” cheers Dave, and Jason concurs that the performance was “turbocharged” and awesome. Tommy, of course, gives her a perfect 10 on the dive. What form! What grace!
And that’s it, my friends! Another wild night in the world of our favorite incomplete supergroup comes to a close. Brooke reveals the early bottom three, Josh, Jill, and Zayra, and sends us out with another reminder to vote early and often.
What could happen? Will Josh be washed down the drain? Will Jill leave the most bitter aftertaste? Will anyone take Zayra’s offer to “call me?” Anyone? I guess we’ll find out tomorrow!
The only thing that really matters is the classical sauce. Did I rock your socks off? Mantenna@fansofrealitytv.com