Rock Star: Supernova 7/19 Recap: Unsafety First!
Hey! Welcome back to Rock Star! The performance show last night was quite a good time, eh? Well, perhaps the side-effects of non-stop rocking are catching up with me, as I’ve been asleep for much of the time since we last met. No worries. RAWK knows no schedule, only the power to move you.
Tommy greets us with, “What’s up, kids?” Not much, Gramps. How about you?
Brooke, dressed in a plaid skirt and a snazzy “Make Music, not War” T-shirt, gives us a brief recap of last night’s show, which featured some great showings from Dilana, Phil, Patrice, Jill, and, apparently, Zayra. (Maybe I was watching the wrong show?) However, some did not fare so well, and we know that constructive criticism is directly linked to mansion footage, so take a dose of Dramamine:
• Toby, after trying to show emotion in his performance, feels stupid for not giving his song selection more thought.
• Dana is left confused by Supernova’s comments, wondering how she could still be getting the “pop star” tag when she took that raucous Bon Jovi tune. Her surrogate “mamas,” Dilana and Storm, kindly give her some pointers on how she could lend more credibility to her performances. Dana also watches her performance on whatever the product placement phone is and immediately sees what she needs to fix.
• In a desperate attempt to disprove rumors that he was created from a test tube and has no personality, Ryan decides to throw down the gloves and rag on Dana’s performance. According to Mr. Rock and Roll here, she’s completely unfit for this sort of competition, and he’s basically offended by her presence.
After that, Dana gets a chance to confront Ryan and defend herself, Toby once again pledges to do better next time, and Josh attributes his song-snatching to a bad day, which gets that lame “You’ve had a bad day, blah blah blah” song stuck in my head. Who sings that, anyway? It ensures that I never turn on the radio, whomever it is.
Tommy makes a point to again praise Jill and Dilana for their performances, yet, out of the blue, Supernova selects Magni to do the encore performance! Reprising the Stone Temple Pilots’ “Plush,” he does, in my opinion, a much better job of it this time around.
So, who’s in the bottom three? At the beginning of the voting window last night, it was Jenny, Ryan, and Dana, and they are joined by Zayra and Josh. Zayra, as usual, looks completely shocked that she’s in the bottom. Dave says that he’s surprised at Jenny and Josh . . . not because they were in the bottom, but because they hadn’t done anything to prevent this form happening. Oh, snap!
So, will the real bottom three please stand up?
The first one called up to perform is Jenny, who chooses to ditch her guitar and bring the noise with the Stone Temple Pilots’ “Vasoline.” One of STP’s more punk-informed songs, it’s a good choice to showcase a harder rockin’ side of a singer. Unfortunately, although Jenny has fantastic stage presence and jumps around like a rabid headbanger, there is absolutely no change in the vocal quality. The House Band, as always, is amazing, but her part is tepid, at best.
Next up is Dana, who is surely eager to begin her new rock & roll incarnation to the stage. She chooses “High Road Easy” by famed Canadian Idol judge Sass Jordan. Ha! Actually, Sass is awesome and so is this song, so I’m eager to see what Dana does with it. Her stage presence hasn’t completely changed overnight, as that sort of thing is not wont to happen, but Dana seems to be on the right track to rockdom with this performance. Her vocals are powerful, as always, and it doesn’t give off the pop vibe that has haunted her . . . or, at least it is not as prevalent. The crowd certainly eats it up.
The face of RAWK. I think my ex-roommate owned this shirt, and that’s not a compliment.
Finally, in a much-deserved nomination, “soul” singer Josh comes forward to deliver “Heart-Shaped Box,” and I hope for his sake that it’s really ugly. To Josh’s credit, his vocals are gravelly and dirty this time, and he even ends in a devastating scream that, even if he isn’t eliminated, should finish off his vocal cords for good. I admire the guy’s courage, though. It was a nice move.
I have to say, though . . . Josh still can’t look like a rock star to save his life. He attempts to snarl a couple times, but it invariably slides into a big ol’ cheesy smile. The mandibles are too trained to do otherwise.
The elder rock statesmen confer, and here’s how they break it down:
Jenny: After a great start to the season, she began to mellow out, and despite Tommy’s fey pink blazer, they don’t like mellow. She tried to rock again tonight, but the vocals were iffy.
Dana: The band loves her vocals and her great attitude, and she brought the house down tonight, but is she right for the band? (Harsh, isn’t it?)
Josh: Why, oh why, did he wait this long to actually sing like a rock singer?
After some dramatic pauses and commercial breaks, “Hatchet Man” Tommy, inexplicably giggling at his self-appointed nickname, declares Dana safe.
So, with the choice between Jenny and Josh, the band chooses to bring down the metaphorical hatchet on . . . Jenny!
Waterworks ensue as Jenny gives the band her profound thanks, explaining that the show helped her realize she had gotten too “safe,” not just in the competition, but in her whole life (I suppose). She claims it’s the “best slap in the face, ever,” and seems excited to re-energize her career and outlook on life.
Who knew this was Renovate My Life? I hope that McGraw punk is nowhere around.
So, with another week down, the talented Jenny prepares to take the experience in stride and step outside the box, while Josh crawls back inside his Heart-Shaped Box. I think Jenny has a bright future ahead of her, but as far as the elimination goes . . . well . . . to quote Dave Navarro’s old band, “Nothing’s Shocking” here.
So! I hope you all learned a valuable lesson—safety doesn’t count, after all. So, go out and play in the street after dark, and Tommy Lee will like you more.
Take care! We’ll see you next week for another exciting round of performances!
Send me some love, not war. Mantenna@fansofrealitytv.com