Insane, Dirty, and Tattooed--and that’s just the Women!
I saw the names Tommy Lee and Gilby Clarke and thought, “Psssh. More like Rock Star: Superdinosaur
Tommy Lee: Wielder of the sticks for legendary sleazesters Motley Crüe, there’s not much that I can say about Tommy that hasn’t already been said. Or seen in that video. I beseech divine inspiration to avoid all the obvious “stick” puns. It’s already too late. There’s an Obvious Storm Pun Rollin’ In!
Yes, I realize that this is as silly as basing an opinion of American music on Creed, so hush it up in advance, you!
However, Toby performs the Dylan classic “Knockin on Heaven’s Door,” and he throws that shrimp on the freakin’ barbie.
Gilby, still reeling from hearing Axl Rose sing this song 9,000,000 times, says it was a “great change” and says “he killed it.”
Who shall follow? Patrice Pike from Austin, TX shall follow, Lord.
Whatever, Keith Richards jumped out of the coconut tree because he heard this bloody song on the radio for the billionth time!
As Josh takes the stage, my poseur alarm instantly goes off . . . this guy is clearly wearing his dad’s preppy clothes.
Tommy Lee says the performance was “beautiful,” and you know you’re something when Tommy Lee calls you “beautiful.”
At this point, the show needs a swift kick in the leather chaps, so I sincerely hope that the tattooed, fiery-haired, face-pierced Dilana can deliver.
He sort of shambles around stage with his gangly limbs going in random directions, eyelids half-closed, perhaps after-effects from the last chemistry experiment. Southpaw Stammer and Yell of Chucky
. . . and he chose the emasculatingly high “Roxanne” as his piece for tonight’s performance.
Lukas has apparently lived off the streets of Toronto since he was fifteen, but that still doesn’t explain why he looks like Chucky. Good Lord. Very ugly transvestite Chucky here is not someone I’d like to stare at for a long time, but man, can he tear up the stage. Growling his way through Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” as though it were filtered through The Birthday Party and gargled with razorblades, Lukas delivers a feral and wholly satisfying performance to close out the evening.