Hello my fellow groupies and welcome to the final house show of the series. It seems like yesterday that we were introduced to nine billion finalists all finagling their way into the arms of INXS. Yet it was the three who giggled, cooed and flashed their best puppy dog eyes that made it to the big show. Mig, JD and Marty have their work cut out for them. And while their brand new trendy Honda’s might get them to the show on time, it will be their vocals and on stage antics that will seal the deal.
The Who’s Who Of The Final Three
By now we all have our favorites. Maybe it’s Mig and his soft endearing voice that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up? He proved he could sing an INXS song when he landed in the bottom three and belted out What You Need with added choreography that could’ve given the Rockettes a run for their money.
Or perhaps it’s JD that gets your motor running? While some suggest he faltered for a few weeks, this competition really has been his to lose. Last week he gave us a more intimate version of Pretty Vegas, which in my 180 degree opinion from everyone else, sounded much better than the knock-your-eyes-out electrified version (although the bullhorn is a pretty cool added touch).
Rounding out the trio is Marty. With a several week stretch of belting out hit after hit this controlled screamer has, in many water cooler discussions, knocked JD off the mantle. With his hit song Trees almost guaranteed a single and future release, he has put his voice on cruise control and hasn’t needed to brake since. Last week he left nobody spooked when he properly gave Creep the respect it deserves.
Unfortunately, it was Sweet Suzie McNeil who wasn’t right for the band. I’m sure we can all agree that she was a lot of fun to watch and her voice left many of us seeping in a pile of blubber.
No Really. Tell Me What You Really Think
There is no longer a bottom three but now a top three. Marty noticed that there were no more females around the house. Yes, now you can let ‘em rip without saying excuse me.
As the boys sit around and chug glasses of wine, we get the intermixed confessionals of what was really going on in their heads. Mig finally feels like he deserves to be in the final three after having to sing an INXS song. He felt that he would’ve cheated the system had he not sang. Well that’s one way of looking at it. Mig sees Marty as his biggest threat while JD has a bit of danger to him which could make INXS nervous.
Marty, on the other hand, is all confused because he thought it would be Mig going home. Listen dude, this isn’t Survivor. Just go out and sing your ass off and not give INXS a reason to let you go.
JD seems the most confident of all. He notes that Marty and Mig think that the best way is to go in “guns-a-blazing” while JD prefers “in like a lion, out like a lamb”. I’m not too sure what he means by that. Why wouldn’t you want to give some gusto on the final night?
It appears that the previous nights partying is still in full swing as bottles of wine lay amass on the outside patio when Dave Navarro shows up to tip off the boys about their next clinic. The following day they will drive their new Honda’s (with full navigation system Dave emphasizes) to the Gibson Showroom to collaborate on a song with Andrew Farriss.
Collaborate, Elaborate, then Celebrate
Andrew has given a different song track to each contestant and they will have to come up with lyrics and create a song when they meet. JD is excited to work with such a great songwriter. So much that he doesn’t see the need to write but a few sentences down prior to the meeting. JD feels that rock and roll shouldn’t be too over thought. He feels it’s an insult to go in and tell a great songwriter what the song should really be. Helloooo…McFly! That’s the whole freaking point of this clinic. Come down from your existential experience, Hendrix. It’s not gonna kill you to put pen to paper.
Marty is the first victim to meet with Andrew. He brought a catchy chorus with him to which Andrew says was virtually correct in every sense. Andrew adds in some abstract lyrics and I’m getting excited to hear the final piece. After working together, Andrew was stunned at how artistically talented Marty was. Given the crash and burn interview session with Marty and the band, this a was a good thing. A very good thing.
Good ole Mig showed up with his usual bubblegum boy band lyrics and endearing voice. I love you, buddy. Really, I do. But the Partridge Family already has the sugary sing-alongs of the 70’s cornered. I swear every time I hear Mig sing I want to put on some bell bottoms, make some shrinky-dinks and watch Zoom.
After listening to the feel good lyrics, Andrew suggests changing a verse to make it more dark. You should’ve seen the look on Migs face. I haven’t seen that look since “Nobody puts Baby in a corner” became a catchphrase for bad writing. Andrew is concerned that Mig only takes the sweet road and won’t take that fork in the road. This doesn’t bode well for the Migster.
Now the good thing about JD is we don’t have to worry what kind of lyrics he showed up with. He brought but only a line or two. You just know Andrew wanted to smash that guitar over JD’s head. JD asked Andrew if he had any ideas to which Andrew replied that he was hoping JD had showed up with something to work with. It was an awkward moment but the two soon settled into a groove of lyric writing and I’m once again excited to hear the finished product.
Pilot To Bombardier, Get These Guys Some New Music
As we near end of the show, I scootch closer to the edge of my beanbag in anticipation of what the song selection will be for finals night. If it’s Pretty Vegas, Trees or Bohemian Rhapsody, my laptop is going through my television screen.
On the wall of the song room is a note next to a stack of music. This weeks song selection will be any song chosen from the entire season’s catalog of music. “Perfect!”, I exclaim hoping to hear some new material. Ha-ha-ha…not so fast speeder-eeno. Why do something new when you can sing the same song over and over again?
After sifting through a stack of paper equivalent to Stephen King’s The Stand, the favorites of past performances stand out once again. Marty chooses to go with Wish You Were Here hoping it will give the same effect it did when he first sang it. He found a whole new voice when he sang that song the first time.
The other two pick songs that were sung by other contestants. JD will be singing You Can’t Always Get What You Want which was previously performed by Ty. JD tells us that this particular song is in his Will and will played at his funeral. I’m intrigued. I’m sure he’ll do a bang-up job as always.
Mig is going for broke with Bohemian Rhapsody. And yes, I lied. I’m not throwing my laptop anywhere but I do think this song has been beat to death. Suzie had sung this song before to rave reviews. Mig had sung this song before on Broadway. He feels this will be bring closure to his previous gigs as a show tunes singer. In a few days we will know for sure.
And so my friends, we are left watching the final three pack up and say their goodbyes to the mansion they called home these past several months. In the background, JD is playing his song selection. I love how they do that every week. It’s a like a little teaser. *snicker* Until Tuesday…stay tuned, stay rockin’ and stay groovy…
What song would you have chosen? Email me your choice at: email@example.com