Rock Star: INXS 8/07/05 Recap: Those Drunken Kids and Their Crazy Music
Good day, and welcome back to Rock Star: INXS! Last time we were here, Tara was placed in the bottom three for the third time, and—three strikes and you’re out—INXS sent her adrift like a message in a bottle, to be found years later on some foreign shore and laughed at.
I Guess Bad Brains, Fishbone, and King’s X Just Aren’t Cool Anymore?
Tonight, at the mansion, Brandon reflects on his time in the bottom three, as well. He feels very fortunate to still be around, for he feels that he’s really out of his element with this “vocal” stuff. To keep from getting booted, he’ll have to control his nerves and tie all the pieces together into a nice package.
Meanwhile, Ty is also recovering from his stay in the bottom three following his rather frightening take on the Foo Fighters’ “Everlong.” Knowing that he had a bad performance puts a pit in Ty’s stomach, and he bursts into tears as he considers the larger implications . . . being the only African-American in the competition, he is representing his whole people. He believes it’s unfair that African-Americans are not well represented in the world of rock, and I laugh a bit to myself, considering that the genre itself was sparked by Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, and the like. Although, I agree . . . Lenny Kravitz has gotten pretty lame if you’re going strictly by today’s scene. But not to fear, my friends, Ty has been “rebirthed” through his second chance, and he’s going to fight his way to the top! I must add, by the way, that Marty was incredibly supportive of Ty through all of this teary scene, and he’s incredibly supportive of his fellow contestants in general. Way to be a freakin’ awesome person, Marty!
And Many Happy Returns
The contestants crouch behind the table, which has been laid out with a tablecloth and some other festive displays. What could be the occasion? Why, it’s Jordis’ birthday! Surprise! Everyone jumps out from behind the table, gives Jordis a heart attack, and the competition suddenly becomes much easier.
Nah, I kid . . . actually, she has a guitar-shaped cake which is lit up with candles, and she blows them out to make her wish. Lo and behold, her wish becomes corporeal at that very instant, in the form of her boyfriend! The pair embraces, kisses, and the scene fades out quickly. A very happy birthday, indeed!
The Power of Published Words, aka Easy Target for a MiG
As the dawn creeps over a new day, the rockers are going . . . out of the mansion? Marty says they’re all rather freaked out about this one—it’s the first clinic that hasn’t been held in the safety and comfort of their home-away-from-home. They meet at the Hotel Roosevelt to find Dave Navarro and Tim Farriss waiting for them and learn that this clinic is all about handling the press. If you’re going to front a superstar band, you can’t go sounding all idiotic on the press front—look what happened to Oasis, for goodness sakes!
Behind these doors, *sweeps arm overdramatically* there is a press junket awaiting our naïve, starry-eyed rockers. They will be asked some questions, and, as is customary, they will give some answers. But this is not a test! These are real journalists, and the interviews will be printed in real articles all around the real world. Had this been a test, Tim would have merely beeped very annoyingly and interrupted your favorite programming.
Among the kiss & tell, the contestants are asked, “Who is the most difficult to live with?” MiG answers truthfully and, after hemming and hawing, admits J.D. is a pain. Ty is also asked about his favorite INXS album, which he says is Kick. The reporter ain’t that easy, though, and asks about the other albums. Shabooh Shoobah doesn’t ring any bells with Ty . . . ooh, ask me! Ask me! “Don’t Change” is my favorite INXS song!
Afterward, Tim and Dave review the clinic with the contestants. Brandon tended to ramble a bit, which he’ll have to work on. Ty was considered very honest and humble for admitting that he didn’t have INXS’ entire discography memorized. Deanna, it’s pointed out, had trouble with the question “If a family member had died, would you go to the gig or cancel?” Dave says he was surprised that several contestants said they would go ahead with the gig, because he’s cancelled for things like a sore throat. You would, Dave.
Finally, J.D. finds out that someone singled him out as being the most difficult. He’s very disheartened and upset, because it’s poor ol’ J.D., and he’s up in the sky being an easy target for verbal ack-ack, blah blah blah. MiG, however, feels awful for even mentioning it.
Nine Songs on the Wall, Take One Down and Pass it Around. . . .
It’s song selection time, and Ty is instantly thrilled to see Bob Marley’s “No Woman No Cry” as a choice. He gets it with no objections from anyone else. Suzie is similarly excited to see R.E.M.’s “Losing My Religion,” and J.D. offers her some unnecessary arranging advice. He’s trying to kill them with kindness, you see. Similarly, when he’s involved in a battle with Jessica over Nirvana’s “Come as You Are,” he finally relents, letting the song be snatched up and, storming out of the room, claims that he’ll take whatever’s left over and doesn’t want to cause any discord in the house. Say what? Finally, MiG, still feeling the pangs of guilt, lets J.D. take “Crazy” instead of whatever the leftover song is. Highly complicated, I say!
A Tender Moment
Still later, the contestants do what they like to do best, aside from perform, and that is to get drunk and act like utter fools. Maybe some of them like this even more than performing! During the magic hour, MiG steals J.D. away for a moment, and, taking him by the hand, admits that he was the one—he told the press that J.D. made him uncomfortable. J.D., taking a good, long gaze into MiG’s eyes, raises his arms to show the tattooed words on his forearms.
“MiG,” says J.D., struggling to keep his inebriated self upright, “Sometimes we’re all just being human, because we’re all *switches arms* human beings. No, I can’t do this moment justice with these mortal words . . . it was honestly the cheesiest thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life. And it was beautiful, man.
But Will These Songs Work?
Jessica drags into rehearsal with a major hangover, which always starts the day off well. Her singing isn’t even audible, but she insists that having a hangover doesn’t affect a rehearsal too much. House band keyboardist/leader Paul begs to differ.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, Marty, who is singing The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside,” is ready to go and knows exactly what he wants. Everyone is impressed by his professional, well-grounded demeanor.
Suzie, in the meantime, is taking a bit of flack for
herJ.D.’s arrangement of “Losing My Religion.” Why tamper with a great song? Suzie says it’s all about being “creative.” Paul does see it as having some promise, and they decide to take it from the top once more.
And that—that—is where they leave us hanging, friends! So many questions remain unanswered! Will Suzie’s big risk pay off? J.D. is a big fan of taking risks, especially when it’s his opponents who are taking them. Will Ty be able to make a big comeback? Will J.D. and MiG find themselves in more potentially embarrassing, non-sober conversations? I surely hope so.
Just being human, because I’m a human being! Mantenna@fansofrealitytv.com