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Welcome everyone. Tonight we have an extra long show that will be filled with excessive talking by Ryan, clips that we’ve seen over and over and oh yeah, group sings. Result show should really be about a 5 minute blurb they show at the commercial time of some other show. They could read the names of the eliminated, they could all sing their song at the same time, and then pan over the contestants who are staying so we can remember who they are again. American Idol should really hire me to direct this show, we would be in and out and have plenty of time to do meaningful things like wash our hair or stare blankly into space.
Who Are These People Again?
To kick start the show, we get a new little intro with all the contestants and their names. I’m thankful for this because I can barely remember them. The montage of contestants is done to a song by Doughtry; he’s probably thrilled that his songs keep getting pimped by Idol. After that fun little bit, the Idols are going to do a group number featuring some of our favorites from the 60’s. The boys are up first all sporting suits with skinny ties. I like the look. The girl’s next make their appearance all wearing trendy little mod outfits. I know this look because I’ve watched way too many reruns of America’s Next Top Model. This is a cute little number and I hope they do these every week.
Getting Picked First Isn’t Always Good
So far we’re doing well, not too much filler and not many shots of Paula looking high and bloated like the previous nights. We get right to eliminations and we still have 45 minutes left. This is going to be painful. The boys are up first and we get a little recap of them singing. During this montage I get to see Robbie again, he is so cute. Sorry, I digressed. I’m staying on track so we can get out of here with little pain. Ryan calls Garrett to the middle of the stage and he is cruelly told that he is eliminated. Garrett keeps waiting for the joke that he’s not eliminated, but alas he is. Sadly, he made no impression on me except the fact he looks like a young Leaf Garrett. He sings, I cringe, and we go to commercial.
It’s girl time! A montage ensues of the ladies, and I wonder how some of them made it to the top 24. Christy is called to middle of the stage and she looks devastated. Ryan tells her she is safe and the relief washes over her face. Ryan announces that Amy Davis is leaving tonight and I don’t have a clue who she is. Amy gets to her song, she seriously sounds horrible, and I don’t think she will be missed.
Alright, the show is half over and we still have two people to eliminate. Before we can get to that, Ryan talks about all the wonderful people that Randy has worked with and that the highly drugged Paula has a track on his new album. Yippeee! I wonder when that comes out so I can be sure to not go anywhere near it. Much to all of our excitement, we get to watch the video of it. I run to the kitchen to grab the nearest sharp object to gouge my eyes out with. I catch a glimpse of Randy playing the base and I nearly wet my pants from laughing so hard. This is so cheesy and I look forward to her live performance…like I look forward to c the plague.
LaLa Losers!
The girls get to go first this time and Ryan has called Amanda and JoAnn to the stage. He goes over what the judges had to say about their performances and we all wait in anticipation of finding out the person’s name that we will never remember again. JoAnn is eliminated and she takes her place to sing. She sings, I think of the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding, and we are at a commercial and I have no idea what just happened.
We are in the home stretch and the most horrible thing has happened. My cable has frozen and I have no idea what is happening. Stupid Comcast! It finally comes back on and Colton is singing, leaving me to believe he has been eliminated. I’m sad because he sang Suspicious Minds, one of my favorite songs. I love that he sings it with a big smile and spunk. Nothing says I’m having an affair like a big cheesy grin and a peppy dance move. Sadly he is out and to be honest, he didn’t have a chance.
And that’s another elimination night and I managed to pare down that show into a nice tight recap. I cut out most of the crap and tried to hit the highlights, which were few and far between. Join me next week when the recap is 4 sentences long and I get right to the point.
If you think we can go on together, with these suspicious minds, send me a PM.
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They really should just make it 30 minutes. 
Great job, Gnomie! They should so hire you to direct the show. 
