Between the challenges of trying to get the earthy pathos right, and hovering just subtly enough over the twang, Country Night can send an otherwise innocuous singer hurtling toward elimination faster than you can say, “Aw shucks!” (See: Mandisa, Matt Rogers) So, who bit the big biscuit, and who made the red dirt rattle? Bat Out of … Hosston
I do believe I can already hear Blake beat boxing some “Ring of Fire:” And it burns, b-b-burns, b-burns
Perception‘s not his middle name. I bet it‘s something like Earl. Sparks Flies
No wait, that‘s my Idol story. Keep your fingers crossed for me in ‘08.
She looks a bit lost while she sings; maybe she’s trying like I am to figure out why she looks like a serving wench at the teen version of Medieval Times -- shiny red empire dress with a gold lame' bodice? Seriously, why?
Oh, Sanjy. Much like Samson, you’ll have to learn the hard way never to neglect your coif.
Martina encourages him to sing in a more aggressive manner. In other words, she wants him to [i]try[/]. Sanjaya decides not to, because pfft. Why should he? This ain’t nothing but a singing competition. Say A Little Prayer For Her
She even gets all teary-eyed, too farklempt to offer any advice for Kiki to reject, but I’m sure she doesn’t mind that.
Randy wishes she had put more of a gospel spin on the song, but I’m saying. It’s already a prayer, to Jesus
. What more does he want, for her to put on a robe and jump in a tub of holy water?
Chris Richardson is coming so it’s time to find the rope so I can keep my ears from running away in terror.
The audience gives Chrich a standing ovation when he finishes, and I cry a little bit. Not for myself, you understand. But for my ears. Yours too, because I’m generous with my emotion like that.
Maybe on the planet 1998, where people were fooled into thinking that Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake working their creaking-door diaphragms all over the airwaves was the height of awesome. Argyle Is the New Mistake
But still, isn’t he cool though? Look at the way his hair is blonde and spiky, and his t-shirt always says something. And he wears argyle sweater vests that would make your Uncle Arnie angry with jealousy! He wins.
There were bright spots and a couple of trusty pillars of suckitude, but like the rest of this season, Country Night was a bit of a non-event.