I Hear A Symphony (Of Misery)
I never considered clothing as a portent of doom before, but I think that for the next three months, we should scan the wardrobes of the performers before the singing begins and we’ll get a pretty good idea of what’s in store for us.
We start off Top 12 night on an upbeat – or should I say up-tempo, which is the word of the day, kids – with a montage of clips of American Idol success stories.
Noticeably absent are season two and five winners, Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks. Ah well…not everyone can be a Dreamgirl.
Because the former band didn’t do a good enough job of drowning out the singing – though this season, maybe the bigger band is not such a bad thing.
Well, not everyone, Simon – I’m willing to bet you were a pompous, egotistical bastard well before you came anywhere near the AI stage.
This from the woman who “mentored” Michael Jackson. Be afraid, Idols…be very afraid.
He’s dressed in a two-tone gray shirt and gray pants (DOOM!) and the best thing I can say about his rendition is that it’s barely pleasant.
Melinda’s heels, Ryan’s closet, and Paula’s out-of-body experience
(I’m sorry, but it’s VERY distracting, and I did say she was a sweet girl.)
Chris announces he’s going to perform “Endless Love” and put his own spin on it. Ah, that’s
why Diana is so nervous.
Diana Ross meets Coldplay should NEVER be attempted. Faux rock chick – never meant to be
Well, maybe I can buy her act tonight, as it’s a great song…but she’s wearing a horrid pair of shiny gray pants she must have picked up from a garage sale at Pat Benatar’s house.
Sanjaya is love. That’s according to Diana Ross, and if I’m not mistaken, she said something similar about Michael Jackson at one point. Let’s hope the similarities end with that and the breathy little speaking voice. I hear doom calling.
Kind of an Idol-lite performance. Hey, cleavage got Katherine McPhee into the top 2…
As it turns out, it’s a good thing the dress is so distracting, because her performance is a disaster.
He doesn’t think Haley was that bad – in fact, she had real presence on the stage. I guess he could see up her dress from where he sits. An angel in white will save us The beat-boxer gets a beat-down from the judges
And – he’s so cool, he thinks he can overcome the Curse of the Gray Suit that has plagued nearly every other Idol tonight. Yo, Blake? As cool as you are…you’re just not cool enough to pull off an electronic/hip hop/boy band cover version of KMHO. Not even close. Doomed to be bridesmaid The Boss is fired
Uh-oh, looks like someone is stealing Ryan’s patented perfect chin-stubble. But there’s nothing really original about Chris Richardson anyway – he’s got Justin Timberlake hair, Nick Carter dance moves, and the voice of any old C-list boy-bander.
Who can resist five minutes of Diana, fifteen minutes of Ford commercials, and 10 minutes of results?