*This is a recap of events from noon Thursday to noon-ish Friday, house time*
It’s getting to the point where I could just go back and copy and paste the beginning of every pre-live show recap. Danielle is troweling on makeup, probably for the second time today. Jenn is coloring that little patch of hair - how it hasn’t fallen out with all that weekly coloring, I don’t know. Ian is munching cereal and rocking at the table. Joe is looking bug-eyed and worried, munching something loudly. Shane is lying in the bathroom. Frank looks somewhat confident and Dan looks cautious.
Same old, same old.
About the only thing different is Danielle spackling on an extra layer of concealer over that supersized zit above her eyebrow. It’s almost big enough to qualify as an extra houseguest. It’s almost big enough that I worry Jessie is going to jump out of that thing, bearing more crappy gifts. It’s almost big enough...oh, okay. I’ll stop.
While the others primp for the show, Joe sits alone in the kicks room next to his bag, looking like he has mild indigestion. Dan zips his pits with an electric trimmer, Frank blow dries his mop, Danielle smears on gobs of makeup while making use of all the mirrors in the bathroom - seriously, she keeps stopping to look at herself in different mirrors - and Shane plucks his nose hairs, causing a sneezing fit.
So very worth the money I paid for feeds.
Shane seems to be enjoying the show. Ahem.
Right before the live show, Dan has Danielle call Jenn in, and they start to shake on their final three deal. Dan swears on his mom. He’s running out of things to swear on. Then Shane wanders in and breaks up the party before they all get a good handshake in. Our favorite dullard is nervousing over the upcoming comp and sits on the bed to do some solo Jedi training. I can almost hear the neurons straining. He, Dani, and Dan agree to nominate Joe and Ian if they have to do a quickie decision. Quack.
Once we come back from the live show, we are Frankless and Joe is no more. And Frank has bear-napped poor Ted. Nobody seems to miss Frank but Jenn, and Dan says that while Joe was a good guy, he just couldn’t work with him. Shane adds that Joe was making deals with everyone in the house. He says this to Dan, who does have actual deals with everyone in the house. Poor ol’ Joe. He tried to warn everyone what was going on, but nobody listened to him no matter how loud and obnoxious he got. Enjoy the jury house, Joe, and wash your damn hands when you cook, would you?
Captain America digs for gold.
Dan spends time babying Danielle, who is still miffed about being put on the block. Too dense to get with the plan, she’s all about the drama. And the tears. And the attention. Jenn is pissy also, but she’s mad because Frank was booted. Like that was a big surprise. They blow it off as a product of her bad temper, and Ian thinks Dan’s vote against Frank set it off. When Jenn is called to the DR, she huffs “I got a lot to say. Let’s do it!” Whatever. She huffs and she puffs and....nothing ever comes of it.
While Jenn is making a fool of herself in DR, the remaining four rehash the live show stuff and Dan thanks them for trusting in his decisions. Reel them in, Dan. Shane hopes Jenn won’t make it awkward in the house, and Danielle states the obvious: they’ll have to cook for themselves now! As much as they griped about Joe’s cooking, they should be overjoyed.
- Jenn has pierced nipples.
- Danielle once had a belly button piercing but it got infected. Of course.
- Shane said he was huge in some of his high school pictures.
- Shane also misses Kara.
- Ian co-founded the Tulane chapter of NORML - now I get the attraction to Ashley.
- Danielle is now claiming that Shane keeps following her.
- Ian was surprised that Janelle picked Ashley over him.
Feeds go poof once more for about an hour and a half. And then - Ian is the new HoH! Ian does a celebratory dance in the kicks room alone while the Quack Packers wonder who he will put up. Drawing straws is mentioned. Paranoia and suspicion abound as they all question who has final two deals with whom. Still alone, Ian talks to himself, holding out fingers. “Who would have thought a socially inept loser could make it to final four?”
Wait. I thought Ian watched season 13?
Ian seems set on Jenn as one nominee, but Dan doesn’t like Ian’s idea of putting him up against Jenn to cover their alliance. What if Shane and Danielle decide to bail and vote him out instead of Jenn? Dan asks. Dan would much prefer Shane go up, and tries to get Ian to agree. Shane could possibly even be coerced into volunteering, Dan thinks.
I thought glasses were supposed to make you look smarter?
Later, as Danielle is in the DR whining about who knows what, the others sit in the kitchen and get all nostalgic about evicted hamsters. Boogie and Janelle were awesome, they say. Dan is surprised how much of a player Britney turned out to be. And Ian has to clue Shane in on who Chicken George was, then he recaps the big Howie-Boogie blowout where Boogie told Howie “Get to stepping!” Which made it even better when Ian told Boogie the same thing. Karma, baby.
Ian gets his DR call to get his room key and Dan wants his HoH basket. NOW. He finally gets it around midnight, full of munchies and the much-wanted picture of his (gorgeous) wife which he carries around with him. Dan reads the letter to the house, choking up as he does so. Talk turns to wedding and honeymoon stories. Jenn pouts in the bathroom by herself. Ian finally gets his goodies - more food, a toy duck, and a sweet letter from his grandparents. Ian then has to move all his stuff back up to the HoH room that he just vacated earlier that day. I don’t think he minds.
Everyone but Dan filters out of the HoH room, and Dan gets to work. He still wants Jenn and Shane up, and Ian tends to agree, wanting Jenn out because she’s a floater. Ian asks what he should say during nominations - when did all this explaining become necessary? - and Dan suggests saying that Shane is a big competitor and that Frank told him Jenn was coming after him. Mild Frank bashing follows as they bring up all his talk of how he deserved to win and everyone else sucked.
Sadly, Danielle's "Zit Shuffle" dance failed to take off like she'd hoped.
The indoor lockdown ends and they all cheer, wanting to lounge in the backyard. At 2 am. Danielle whines because she just scraped off all her makeup and doesn’t want The Zit From Hell to show up on the cameras outside. Hon, we’ve all seen it. Satellites in orbit have seen that sucker. Hell, the Mars Rover can probably see it. Dan hightails it to the lawn chair outside, carrying the picture of his wife. Danielle then proceeds to tell Jenn all about Frank’s big crush on her. All together now: Oh, please.
While Ian and Dan discuss politics, Ron Paul, and weed, Danielle complains to Jenn about how Shane won’t cuddle with her in bed. Dani needs a guy who shows affection, not just talks about it.
So as Jenn and Ian chat about game stuff outside, Danielle gets in bed with Shane. And cuddles. Cue Psycho music...Twee! Twee! Twee! Dan comes in a bit later and declares that he wants to sleep in Joe’s old bed because it’s softer, but the sheets are, um...soiled. Yeah, let’s put it that way. Danielle and Shane get up to help him change the nastiness, and soon all our little hamsters are tucked in.
Shane looks ever so happy. You can see the
miseryjoy in his eyes.
Morning comes and goes as most of these knuckleheads sleep in. Jenn is the sole early bird now that Joe and Frank are gone. An outdoor lockdown is called around 11 am - the new, smaller dining table has arrived. They talk about how weird it looks. Around noon, Dan grabs Danielle and grills her about Shane: does he suspect they’re gunning for him? Danielle says she doesn’t care if he knows or not. Dan tells Zitgirl that this is their shot to get him out - she doesn’t disagree.
Feeds go to trivia, so something’s up.
Yep. There was another Pandora’s Box. Ian opened it. Inside, something worse than Jessie. Much, much worse.
Rachel. ‘Nuff said.
*Shane in glasses cap taken by TheIrishEyes!