*This is a recap of events from noon Thursday to noon Friday, house time*
My shift starts with the sounds of bus tires being driven over Danielle - by Britney. She’s campaigning like hell to Dan to get his vote, promising alliances to the end and admitting that she was mad at him for “two hours.” She agrees that he was only saving his own butt in the game, that she didn’t expect him to lay back and get booted out without a fight. Plus, Danielle is too emotional, and then there’s that Shane thing, Brit pleads. “You might have a deal with Danielle already, but...” Britney says. Dan admits nothing, and says very little while Brit begs for her life. He just sits kicked back on the sofa, hands behind his head, soaking it all in.
I love it when a plan comes together.
In walks Ian, who joins Britney in pleading her case. Ian tells Dan that Brit is a valuable player to keep. “Why give Frank what he wants, he wants her (Britney) gone,” power-whispers Ian. “I’m not mad at all over what you did, you just did what you had to to save your ass.” They both tell Dan that Danielle will never work with him again after what he did to her, and Shane is unlikely to work with Dan either. Both Ian and Brit proclaim love for Danielle, but, yeah. She’s got to go. “I’m more of an asset to you,” says Britney, the girl who sucked out loud in the veto comp the other night. “I’ve never broken my word to you, Dan!” Neither have I, pipes up Ian. Ian declares loyalty to the Quack Pack and calls Frank a one-trick pony. Britney walks off to prep for the show.
It’s sort of sad to watch. But not really.
Sadly, there will be no more touching scenes like this one.
Five minutes after campaigning to Dan, Britney tells a freshly-washed Danielle in the bathroom that she hasn’t really done any campaigning, and that she’d never say anything bad about her. Well, the second part is true, anyway. The BFFs have a quickie pity party as they do their hair. Danielle asks if Brit will miss her, or replace her with Ashley. Of course I'll miss you bunches, they both say. They even get a bit of Janelle bashing in for old times sake. How cute.
Once Ian leaves Dan's meeting room - really, he should set up a desk and some comfy chairs in there - Frank meanders in to share his thoughts with Dan. Joe’s going to make it far in this game, says Dan. Frank agrees but says he’s okay with it. “He hasn’t pissed anybody off. He hasn’t done anything,” laughs Dan. They don’t seem worried about Joe because he’ll fail miserably at the final three physical comp. Both guys agree that the ideal situation for tonight would be Danielle winning HoH, because if Dan wins this one, neither he nor Frank can play next week.
Britney moves on to the storage room and more campaigning, this time to blockhead Shane. Brit reiterates how emotional Danielle is and how she would be a better alliance-mate since she doesn’t need to be up Shane’s behind 24/7. Brit pounds the Man in Pink pretty hard, telling him that she’ll die before she gives up on the endurance comp tonight. “You have to think about what will get you further in the game,” says Britney. “You know I have your back.” I obviously have to think more, proclaims Shane. Insert joke here.
Frank, man. Let me introduce you to my friend, Mr. Deodorant.
And then! Danielle gets a turn with Dan, and he fills her in on Brit’s campaigning against her. “It was all game stuff, nothing personal,” he says. She said you’d win a lot of competitions and you were smart and had good social game, Dan shares. Danielle eats it up. “What else?” she wants to know. The girl is on the block and she’s more concerned with digging for compliments than with ensuring her safety. Which is pretty much a given tonight, but still. Dani leaves and Shane walks in the revolving door - they both fill each other in on Brit’s scrambling.
Alas, Brit’s pleading and campaigning was all for naught: she was booted with only Ian voting to save her, joining ditzy Ashley in the jury house. Mmm. You can almost smell the mist still in the air. By the time the feeds come back, both Joe and Jenn have fallen off their platforms in the endurance comp. They couldn’t even make it past the end of the show. So sad. The other four spin in misery, getting sprayed by orange glop that will surely cause Danielle to contract some sort of rare malady. Shane’s spitting and sputtering is heard in the background.
Thirty minutes in, and Danielle falls. Then starts to vomit. Twice. We’ll be hearing about this for days, I’m sure. Dan is down not five minutes after, leaving Shane and Ian. They trade jabs about who’s going to get the HoH bathroom, and Ian gives quizzes about astronomy. Shane spits. And spits some more. It gets really, really old after an hour. Just keep your mouth shut, man. Ian quips that he’ll be able to stay up there as long as it takes, which causes Jenn to look at Frank and murmur “Ass****.” I'm guessing she's not a member of the Ian Fan Club tonight.
Captain America pops a squat.
Close to the two hour mark, Shane is looking grim as he and Ian spin around the huge orange “sun.” Really, it looks more like a blob of festering fungus. Or maybe one of Danielle’s zits! Shane asks the others to go inside so he can deal with Ian alone, and off they go. Once Ian promises safety for both Shane and Danielle, Shane drops and poof, Ian is the new HoH. “This is for you, Britney,” Ian declares.
The rest of the hamsters run out to tend to Shane, who is a little dizzy and cold. Jenn is immediately worried that Ian will nominate her and Frank, but Frank thinks Dan might be the target. Joe, who never has much to say to Ian, begins obviously sucking up. Because he's such a huge target. Pizza is made and showers are taken, and everyone tries to relax a bit. They all try to figure out what Joe’s punishment will be, thinking it could be Boogie. Heh. Silly hamsters, Boogie is with Uncle Jerry.
Joe’s punishment for being first out of the comp? Not Boogie, and not duct tape over the mouth like I’d hoped - what a reward that would be for live feeders - but he has to hula hoop whenever they play music. For 24 hours. A hula hooping Joe is almost as visually unappealing as Frank in a carrot suit, let me tell you.
They look like the cast of some demented children's show.
Mini trivia break!
- Some of Danielle’s clothes still reek of Crisco.
- The kitchen ants are back. They have an alliance with Dan too.
- Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Suicidal Tendencies were the wake-up music du jour.
- Dan didn’t mind Britney calling him Judas, but the ego comment stung.
- Frank refused to admit to making out with Ashley, but Ash already spilled the beans to Danielle.
Ian finally gets his HoH room reveal around midnight. Everyone trudges up and squeals on cue over his pictures and letter from his parents. And goodie basket: Rice Krispie Treats, Little Debbies, candy, Chex cereal, some shirts, a few beers, a stuffed snake, more food and a CD by the Arctic Monkeys. Not one for formalities, Ian shoos the herd out of his room instead of letting them mill around and kiss butt. I love it! He didn't get to enjoy his HoH room with his last win, but he certainly will this time.
They get some booze for the house, but all they really want to do is go to sleep. Frank just knows he’s going on the block with Jenn, and asks Danielle how she’d vote in that situation. She laughs “Come on now!” but doesn’t really answer. BB attempts to liven the house up by messing with Joe, playing the alarm music several times. They let him finish one set, then walk a few feet before they play it again. That’s what you get for sucking, Joe.
Even though Ian wanted no people talking game, that didn’t stop them from trying. Joe weasels upstairs to say good night and talk votes. Ian reassures him that he’d only put Joe up as a replacement nom. BB didn’t like that, though, announcing that “House guests are not allowed to talk about nominations!” Uh, okay. That hasn’t happened at ALL this summer.
Yes, Danielle. Those sugary treats will do wonders for that zit farm you're growing.
Frank takes a turn pestering Ian once Joe leaves, saying that he wished Ian had realized that he and Boogie had his back the whole game. They could have rolled to the final together. Ian does some bus driving, telling Frank that everyone else pressured him into going after Frank and Boogie, it wasn't his idea. Ian then acts torn, telling Frank he doesn’t want to waste his HoH on nine-lives Frank since he (Ian) can’t play next week, but if he doesn’t go after him and Frank makes it to final two, Ian will be kicking himself. The Frankencarrot will just have to deal with what comes.
Frank then goes to Dan and Danielle, talking about Shane’s deal with Ian and how Ian promised Joe his key would be coming out of the box. Dan can’t believe Ian told Joe that he’s safe, and Frank asks them to drop Joe’s name to Ian because Ian tends to do what the house wants.
Then Dan goes to chat with Ian. Ian admits that he likes Frank in the house because it keeps the target off his back, but Britney wanted Ian to get Frank out, so...there you have it. She said Jenn should be next, then Joe. Ian shares that Frank proposed teaming up with him, but Ian wants the Quack Pack to reunite. Dan does his best to convince Ian that he could win against him (Dan) in the end - Ian’s not so sure. He thinks everyone hates Frank and won’t vote for him...
But when he hears Frank get called to the DR, Ian asks Dan to go grab Shane and Danielle for a quick meeting, where he announces “Okay, I think nominations tomorrow are pretty obvious: Frank and Jenn.” Why not Joe? asks Dan. Ian wants to keep him as a backdoor option - if he puts Joe up, he could get stuck with him there because Joe will never win the POV. Joe never wins anything.
Ian: “We might not have Britney anymore, but the Quack...is back!”
Dan, Ian, Shane and Danielle all make silly quacking noises to seal the deal, and the guys head off to bed. Before she goes, Danielle asks Ian if Shane had a special deal with him. Ian says no. Joe’s music alarm sounds off and he has to get out of bed to hula hoop. Dan and Shane crack up at this. As soon as Joe lays back down, they play it again much to everyone's amusement. Evil Skippy, evil. Upstairs, Ian enjoys his CD and plays air guitar as the others try to sleep.
Pink towels, too? Seriously?!
Morning! A very happy Frank loses the silly carrot suit - that thing is probably Category Ten stank by now - and joins Shane, Dan, Jenn and Joe in the kitchen as they make breakfast. Fried eggs, bacon, toast and juice. Yum. Joe is still mortified over his pathetic performance in last night’s HoH comp, hoping that his kids don’t watch it. “They can watch the first 25 seconds!” laughs Frank. Zing! The kitchen crew relives Joe’s sad showing as he laughs at himself. Talk turns to how incredible Dan’s wife is. He tells Shane and Joe about her volunteer missions to help people and how very uncaring about material possessions she is. Ian joins the vertical people while Dan is still sharing dating stories - Dan, Shane and Frank all laugh about the three-days-to-call rule. Ian doesn’t have much to share here, but does admit to texting a girl before three days.
The conversation is interrupted by Joe’s hula hoop reveille. And boy, does he suck at it. His kiddos will never let him live it down.
As Joe cleans up the kitchen and Ian alternately rocks and munches his cereal, Frank smells something funny. No, not his armpits. The toaster was left on and has burned the oven mitt. These people are dangerous! Frank deals with it then goes to wash dishes, griping about the size of the sink.
Exciting stuff this morning, no?
Soon, the hamsters are placed on lockdown, and Ian is shut out of his HoH room. They speculate about what’s going on - could it be Pandora’s Box? Oh, noes. Skippy flips us to trivia for the rest of my shift. I have a bad feeling about this...I can almost smell the spandex and vitamins.
**The Shane towel cap and Danielle munchies cap taken by our excellent screencappers JustJuls and Mari79.