*This is a recap of events from noon Thursday to noon Friday, house time*
Hoo, boy. My shifts starts with a bang. Scintillating talk of canned nuts, Joe’s weight, and Boogie’s ear infection. Boogie is still complaining about not being able to hear and that he might need an earpiece for tonight’s show/comp. Frank snarks that they’d have a field day talking about Boogie’s old man hearing aid. Heh. Jenn is playing with candy on the table and Ashley chomps carrots while Danielle vacuums. And everyone plans on stashing some of the candy canes so BB won’t take them away after tonight. I can hardly contain myself for all the excitement!
Cut to Joe in the storage room, hitting Dan up for assurance. “So, not a possible chance,” I hear Joe say. Dan mumbles something and leaves. Sounds like our loudmouthed cook is good to go for another week.
Boogie is still whining about Ashley eating all the cashews out of the can. Wil comments that he likes Ashley’s wall picture, because it looks like she knows a secret. Ian thinks Janelle’s looks green and zombie-like. Boogie grins like an idiot at this, but admits that he can’t make fun of any of the pictures due to his leprechaun-looking self up there. Hey, at least he has a smidgen of self-awareness.
Now whose hair will we make fun of? Adios, Wil.
Frank and Boogie retire to another room to talk about how awesome they are and who they want out next. Boogie seems adamant that there will be a Fast Forward this week, and he wants to target Britney next because she leaves dirty cups around and that gets on his nerves. He thinks she would cause trouble if she made it to jury, too, while Shane would just hang out in the jury house and be his usual uninteresting self. Frank thinks Dan would be down with targeting Shane over Brit. And just as they’re talking all this trash, Britney walks into the arcade room to see what the terrible two are doing.
A bored Dan and Britney try to pick the lock on the ball machine in the arcade room. “Knock it off!” says BB. Britney and Dan stop for a second, look up, and resume picking at it. Cue trivia while they get scolded.
BB made them stop, refusals be damned. A few minutes later, Dan is laying in bed and Boogie is whispering in his ear about the plan to get Britney out, but Danielle wanders in at that point and kills the strategy talk dead. Dan didn’t seem very averse to the idea....
The fun bunch: Dopey, Bitchy, and Crazy.
When the live show is over, our nappy-headed Wil is a houseguest no longer. With him went a lot of humor and more moodiness than a 13 year old girl. The feeds resume, and the HoH endurance comp is still going on: it's one of those fill up a bowl with a tiny cup, slip-sliding bust your ass on a greased path comps.
It takes Britney 40 minutes or so to earn safety for the week. She doesn’t even know what it was for: “Is it safety from being a have-not?” she pleads. Trivia pops up, and she gets her answer. No have-nots this week. Joy. We don't get the pleasure of hearing them whine about it this week. After 60 minutes, millionaire Boogie has managed to nab the ten grand. Apparently, he feels pretty damn safe even though Frank isn’t playing. Or, he’s just a greedy troll who can’t resist the money. He sits down, covered in grease and quite pleased with himself. Not a pretty sight, I tell you. If this doesn’t open Frank’s eyes, well...too bad for him.
Shane takes an early lead - because others were going for now unavailable temptations, AND because Shane is a comp beast - with Danielle and Dan the closest to him. Danielle seems obsessed with beating Dan, asking Frank for frequent updates on his progress. I guess Dan’s been mean to her highness again. Finally, an hour forty into this thing, Shane plucks the ball from his bowl with his greasy little fingers. Our new HoH. Yay?
Shane is pretty good at grabbing balls. Just sayin'.
The slimy crew files into the house to clean up and begin the feeding frenzy. Ashley had begged for beer and pizzas during the comp, but alas, they are stuck with frozen DiGiornos and some Joe-cooked chicken. It’ll do. A banged-up Jenn goes to beg some Advil while old man Boogie bitches about the rash on his head. A side effect of Valtrex? Ah, but he claims it’s a product of hair dye and shampoo drying his evil little scalp out. Yeah, yeah.
Who wants to see Shane’s HoH room? Nobody? Well, get your butts up there and pretend to be interested anyway. Shane got a letter from his sister, a CD from Akon, Lucky Charms, Chips Ahoy, pics of his dog, Blue Moon beer, white socks, a Vermont t-shirt and the usual pile of snacks for other people to raid.
Boogie bashing is the game of the night - even Frank is reportedly pissed because Boogie went for the cash. He’s racked up 16 grand and is the houseguest who needs it least. He dug his own grave today, declares Shane, who is sticking with the Quack Pack for now and not the Silent Six. When Shane asks Joe if he heard anything about Boogie putting him (Shane) up if they won, Joe confirms. Of course, at this point, Joe will say anything to save his own loud behind. There’s not a whole lot of waffling this fine night: Shane is going to nominate Frank and Boogie, with the main target being Frank. Keep it up, Shane, I might like you once this thing is done.
And just to seal the deal, Ian decides to tell Britney that Frank and Boogie were planning on backdooring her. And if Ian were to win HoH in the hoped-for Fast Forward, he was instructed to go after Shane and Brit. Shocked, she’s all about putting those two up now. Dan is getting nervous about taking Ian further in the game, however. He thinks Ian is set up to go to the end of this game with no blood on his hands.
Ian gets a double play.
Joe continues to get on everyone’s nerves - especially Dan’s - by being everywhere all the time. Nobody can get five minutes of talking in with another person without Joe busting in.
And Danielle restarts her pathetic flirting with a non-receptive Shane. I’ll trade you back massages, says she. No thanks, says he. Pleeeeaaase? She whines. Maybe tomorrow. She tries play fighting with him and he pushes her off, saying it’s too hot. Shane then tells her (hints?) that he almost played the “gay card” when he came into the house, thinking he could get close to the girls and pick them off easily. Read into that what you wish...
Danielle, as usual, overstays her welcome, hanging out much too long up in the HoH. She finally, awkwardly leaves, but not before making Shane get up and give her a lukewarm hug goodnight. Clueless, this girl. Shane listens to his music in peace, watching the spy screen for a while. Everyone else is in bed, so I don’t know what he was watching for.
- Boogie wears a size 13 shoe. Danielle wears a 9.
- Danielle thinks she’s a cross between Jordan and Britney. Hold the laughter...
- Ashley and Danielle gave Ian a peck on the cheek in the HoH tub at Shane’s insistence.
- Danielle and Britney have supposedly heard Joe taking care of business twice now. The purple comforter is now contaminated and off limits.
- Britney is spazzing out over the news of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Why did I get married? she wails. Nobody stays together!
- Ian reportedly has the girls lining up for him when he gets out, according to Twitter. Ashley who?
- Ian’s mom tried to talk him out of going on the show.
- Danielle knows Tim McGraw. Mmmhmm.
- Danielle broke her back, y’all. I know, I know. I’m out of BS flags.
Morning. Boogie’s up first, and sits outside talking to us. He’s pretty damned sure he’s safe, a 9 on a scale of 1 to 10. Heh. Boogie is only worried about Britney whispering in Shane’s ear, otherwise, he’d be a 10 on that scale. He says he doesn’t have a lot of motivation to win the veto because he’s safe - ha again - Boogie wants Shane to win it to ensure the target stays on him. Shane is Captain America, Boogie says, and has much respect for him. We’ll see if that opinion changes soon enough. He’s still irritated with Brit for being a slob (but she’s fun to bitch with), Ian deserves to get America’s Favorite, and Danielle has grown on him for all her wonderful help with his ear. He’d also like to have a lifelong friendship with Dan and all his awesomeness. Boogie then tells us to enjoy the summer weather. Get out and do something fun with people you like! He hopes they’re entertaining us and gives a shout out to some dude in Utah. And so ends Boogie’s Morning Scouting Report. He wanders inside to change batteries at BB’s behest.
That hat's going to get him all of five bucks on eBay.
Ashley and Joe take Boogie’s place on the Couches of Filth outside, chatting game. I’d rather go home than betray somebody again, spouts Joe. “I’m not playing Janelle’s game, I’m playing mine,” he says. Ashley doesn’t think Boogie even cares if he goes home this week, that’s why he’s racking up the cash prizes. Talk turns to Wil and how he went back to his big career as an artist. On YouTube. Though nobody in the house has ever seen his YouTube videos.
Hey, let’s talk Joe’s diet. No? But he plans on having steak and eggs this morning. Then he’ll stick to his diet and exercise routine. Still not interested? Okay. How about Jenn’s injuries from the comp last night? She’s all banged up and apparently fell on her battery pack. A slurring Ashley discusses her “caterpillar” technique for squirming through the Crisco as the washer and dryer work their magic in the background. Many loads of clothes will be washed this morning, I’m sure. Ashley is also happy with America for voting for the ten grand prize instead of something like a trip. Joe thinks that BB should have withheld what the prize was until after it was won.
Frank joins the couch crew and they rehash Shane’s win and how nobody else had a chance. Joe claims that Dan started off trying for the HoH, but once he saw Shane’s prowess, he went for safety. Joe thinks Frank is the only one that might have had a chance against Shane, but Frank says Dan and Boogie could have taken him. Oh no, claims Boogie. Boogie with the ten grand in his pocket. Scratch that - sixteen grand.
Joe spends the morning pledging allegiance to Shane, and says he and Ashley have picked their side and will stick with it. To the death! To infinity and beyond! No more of this flip-flopping! Shane just wants guarantees of safety from them. They have the votes, just stay the course.
Outside, Frank and Boogie bask in their perceived safeness, certain that Jenn or Joe will hit the road this week.