*This is a recap of events from noon Thursday to noon Friday, house time*
The hamsters are cleaning the filth as my shift starts. Already, I know I’m not going to enjoy this one. Janelle being blindsided is the last thing I’d thought I’d see this season. She wanders the house, hunting down shaving cream, unaware of the plans the others have set in place. Even so-called friends. An overly happy Frank complains that he can’t practice his speech out loud, and Boogie sits, grinning like a demented troll. He’s hours away from getting his wish. “Let’s just say, if there’s a cornerstone in the speech, it’s ‘class,’” says Frank. So confident is Frank that he’s not going to pack his stuff, he’s just going to put something heavy in the bag and make it look presentable.
Examples of class have been few and far between this year.
So Wil, Boogie, and Frank sit on their happy asses, grinning like Cheshire cats. If that doesn’t give it away to Janelle, nothing will. But, she just doesn’t seem into the game this time around. Danielle can’t figure out how to empty the vacuum cleaner (heh) and Frank comes to the rescue. And already, Frank and Boogie ponder how they can screw over Britney and Dan and get out of their deal. Didn’t take long, did it?
Of course, Danielle is all nervous about her upcoming interview with Julie. How will I look, what will she ask? the resident genius wonders. Frank coaches her a little, telling her what the Chenbot may ask and where to look at the camera. Danielle is still obsessed with how she looks and what everyone thinks of her. Oh, wait til you get out of there, girlie. You’ll find out.
Yawn, pick, bitch. Rinse and repeat.
While the living room crew trashes Joe - I’m guessing this will be the new pastime once Janie is gone - Janelle tells Joe she just wants to get tonight over with. She’s all amped up and still thinks she has a chance to stay, but tells Joe to not be surprised if she’s voted out 5-4. She tells him that she’ll be sad if she goes, but seeing her husband and baby will be great. It’s hurtful to listen to.
Newflash: Shane finally shaved that crap off his face. He’s still as interesting as one of the couch cushions, however.
In the bathroom of 1000 towels - seriously, they’re everywhere - Jenn gives Joe a haircut. Unfortunately, she doesn’t cut off that Arkansas ditch caterpillar he has under his lip. Dan gets a trim, too.
More drama stories from Danielle! Her mom only had one ovary and had issues when she was carrying her and her brother, and Danielle has ovarian cysts. And period troubles. Thanks for sharing, Princess! Britney then shares that tanning beds can give you ovarian cysts because they cook your insides. As if UV rays can penetrate to your guts. Eesh. As I feel my brain cells dying off, talk turns to spray tans and how awful real tanning is. Listening intently (not), Boogie sniffs his armpits several times. The stink doesn’t even make him flinch.
I’m sort of glad you’re going, Janie Doll. You deserve better. Enjoy the rest of the summer with your family!
So the live show begins, and all went as expected: Janelle was ousted in a vote of 8-1, with Joe being her only vote to stay. In no time at all, Janelle bashing begins anew in the house. Boogie laughs that now he won’t be bothered by Janie’s cotton balls with nail polish left about, and Britney tries to console herself by saying that Janelle’s hugs to everyone made her feel better. Ashley awakens from her comatose state to tell them that she heard the audience groan when she voted for Janelle to go. Jenn thinks all of Janie’s fans are online, pissed off at them. And Wil wonders why Janelle has such a large fanbase: “She’s so petty and nasty! She must get a good edit.”
Much like you do, buddy.
Which Danielle does the best bitchface? You decide.
Danielle, who was denied her much-looked-forward-to interview with Julie during the show, sits alone and fumes, tapping her foot. Is it the interview? Someone call her fat? Shane not kissing her ass? You’d think Princess would be ecstatic to get out the houseguest she purported to hate the most, but here she is, pouting. I love it. Beware, men of the world: you'll never make this one happy.
Joe gets his stuff out of the have-not room and goes to the kicks room. He doesn’t look happy, and who can blame him? Nobody is even trying to talk to him. He's this season's Zach.
Danielle tries to brag about getting Janelle out to Britney, but Brit doesn’t want to hear it. She’s sooo sad that her friend was evicted. (She’s lucky that Janelle is a forgiving person) They change topic to upcoming things: will there be a Fast Forward or Pandora’s Box? Britney tells Danielle that in her season, the DR clued her in on the Fast Forward because she was having a meltdown. Nice to know that production doesn’t interfere much. Annnd back to Janelle. Danielle asks Brit if she thinks America hates her (snicker) and Britney waffles, saying Janelle is pretty popular. “But she was the one calling me a fat ass with chunky legs!” wails Danielle. Hey, if the shoe fits.
Britney: Frank’s going to win this game, Danielle. We’re all just sitting around waiting on a jury seat. It’s not good.
The after-dinner conversation is about Janelle and how they thought her exit was classy (is that the word of the week?). Boogie says the audience seemed so loud because they left the second door open. yeah, that's why, you dork. He mentions her two loud ovations. If only he knew why she got the second round of applause...
There’s a whole lot of uneasy silence in the backyard. Ian is in his happy place, swinging on the hammock. Most of these people made Janie out to be the Antichrist, so you think they’d be overjoyed and bouncing around. But they’re not. Joe joins the group after a while and actually tells Frank that he owes him a royal breakfast, even though it didn’t work out so well for him last time. Danielle, still obsessed with herself and needing constant ego stroking, asks Jenn in the hot tub if she thinks she (Dani) is being portrayed as a villain. Not at all! replies Jenn. Janelle was a self-centered and a bad coach, Jenn says, but she still feels bad for looking her in the eye and telling her that they were good. Ashley joins them and complains that Janelle didn’t hug her goodbye, given that she used to be her coach and all. Maybe you shouldn’t have voted against her?
Brit joins the hot tub club and there’s more speculation about double evictions and returning houseguests. Wil says he’d like to see Jodi return, and Britney can’t even remember if she talked to Jodi. Danielle balks at talk of Jodi, claiming that Jodi played the race card with her and that’s why she was so mad when she was evicted. I’m sure it had nothing to do with her being booted before she got a chance to play.
Ted has a blowout.
And finally, the moment noone has been waiting for: Frank’s HoH room reveal. He comes out with Ted in tow, both now wearing spiritards. Frank dutifully reads the letter from his Nana to everyone while Britney roots through his goodie basket. He got coffee, cereal, M&M’s, beer, Coke Zero, peanut butter, sushi, pizza, nuts...all kinds of stuff that the others will soon be inhaling. Also in his basket were a pair of cut off jean shorts. Because they look so good on men. In the 80's. He's also pleased that he got his jump rope.
After faking their enthusiasm for the appropriate length of time, hamsters trickle out of the HoH. Shane and Joe head to the arcade room, where Joe asks Shane what happened, why the vote was 8-1. Shane lies his boring face off, telling Joe he had no idea how Dan and Boogie were voting, and he (Shane) only voted how Danielle asked him to. Janelle was spreading lies and rumors, blah blah blah, she had to go. Joe insists that he would have voted with the house if he had known what was going on.
This takes no time to get to Britney, who tells Danielle. They both think Joe is a weirdo. Danielle starts yet another Woe Is Me tale, this one about how Shane had to rub her back all night after that evil Janelle called her fat. Janelle also tried to get Ashley and Shane together just to hurt Danielle’s feelings, too. And! Dani used to be anorexic. Feeling sorry for her yet? No? Give it time, she’ll have more sob stories. We've got all summer.
Frank does his best Al Bundy impersonation.
Boogie, Frank, and Dan have a good, no-nonsense (read: leave your emotions out of it) conversation about nominations and pawns around midnight. Boogie says he would hate for anyone but the three of them, and possibly Ian, to win the game. There are so many clueless players this season, he says. Shockingly, I concur with the turd. They all agree that they’d like Ian to at least make jury because he needs the money and is a good guy. Well then. There is a speck of heart in Boogie, though I still think he’s a rat bastard. “This game is so much fun on a night like this,” says Frank. I’m sure it is, for the people in power.
After a late-night spaz fest with Danielle, Jenn and Wil jumping up and down on beds, everyone turns in early. As in, not a peep at 1 am. Shocker.
And they don’t get up early, either.
Ashley is once again staggering around the house in pain. Dan and Boogie have to help her walk to the kitchen and bathroom. She’s been to the DR several times to presumably see a doctor, but the house isn’t allowed to talk about it. Of course. I’m just waiting to hear that this is all Janelle’s fault, too.
Maybe if she plays dead, they'll forget she's there and won't vote her out.
After the usual morning puttering around, Joe comes up to Frank’s HoH room to pucker up a bit - Frank is honest with him, saying that he’ll probably go up because he was aligned with Janelle, but that doesn’t necessarily mean Joe is the target. Joe rants about Wil and his general shadiness, and Dan can hear him downstairs. Boogie and Britney come up after Joe leaves and quiz Frank about what Joe said. Boogie laughs and says that Wil will be dealt with...after Joe is. Ha. Ha ha. So funny. Britney pipes up that Wil is much smarter and more intuitive, and may make a better target this week because the other hamsters seem to be gravitating towards him. Boogie and Frank don’t disagree, plus Boogie is pretty sure that it will be a double eviction next week. He seems to have friends in high places, so...yeah. He might know something.
Frank is hesitating to put Wil up with Joe only because if Joe gets the boot, they’ll have Wil on their case. Danielle saunters up and adds nothing to the conversation except to ask who Frank is going to put up. “Joe and somebody,” he replies. Brit still seems to be pushing Wil because Joe is no threat and has been ostracized by the house.
Brit also lets it slip that Janelle negotiated with BB to let her daughter be in jury with her. Whoops. Skippy was a little slow on the uptake and didn’t hit the fish button fast enough.
“Eagle Eye” Joe is trashed round robin style - they think it’s funny that he has nobody to go to. Frank thinks it would be funny if it turned out that Wil is Joe’s son. He thinks their noses are similar. Wil takes this moment to pop his head in the HoH door, and the group very smoothly pretends they were talking about candy. Frank roots around in his fridge and sees that he got Cherry Garcia ice cream, Janie’s favorite. Also sushi and lots of other stuff. Danielle whines that Frank seems to have gotten more goodies than anyone else so far, and Wil says it’s probably because he’s a repeat HoH.
In between tons of fish, I hear more Janelle bashing upstairs. Ian has joined them and they all discuss whether Janelle will win America’s Favorite. Boogie squawks that she wasn’t there long enough and Frank yells “For that sh***y game?!” Eventually Boogie and his boy Frank are left alone, and Frank rants that he wants Dan up because he doesn’t trust that mother-f. Boogie agrees that he’s shady but good, but doesn’t think it’s time to start turning on the inner circle...
And with that, my shift is D-U-N.
*The Danielle screencap taken by Mari79