*This is a recap of events from noon Thursday to noon Friday, house time*
The weekly Thursday Afternoon Clean-up commences with hamsters wiping up the nastiness in the kitchen and vacuuming. Boogie is just hanging out, dressed as a demented golfer, so I don’t know what he’s doing besides breaking about twenty fashion rules. His next show needs to be What Not To Wear. Everyone soon hits the showers and Shane goes in the bathroom to clean mirrors again. Because Ian can’t be the only one perving around while the girls bathe, right?
Elsewhere, JoJo is alternating between telling everyone she’s fine - it’s pretty much guaranteed that her sorry butt is toast tonight - and whining that she’s paying the price for Willie’s stupidity. Britney tells her to leave with some dignity *snort* and they hug it out. People are lying to JoJo and telling her that she’s getting the boot because she’s a great player. Maybe they mean at pool? I don’t know. Later, Shane the Dull asks Britney if he should throw JoJo a vote just because, or go with the house. Britney wonders (hopes?) that someone will be coming back into the house, because she’d love to get Kara on her team.
Stupid hat #32. Please let there be a shopping spree this season.
Ashley, Jenn, and Janie are primping in the bathroom as Shane watches. Talk turns to which Victoria’s Secret bras are the best - now I know why Shane is hanging out - and then to makeup. Sephora is mentioned (squee!) and Danielle pulls out the one Urban Decay palette that I still need to get...but I digress. Apologies, I’m a total makeup junkie. Don’t even get me started on nail polish.
Britney attempts to give Ashley pointers on how to use the curling iron, but Ash can’t quite get the technique. Jenn is slathering color on her newly-shaven hair, then Joe comes bombing into the bathroom to rinse the bleach out of that stupid little soul patch of his or whatever that thing is supposed to be. A caterpillar? Drool? Abnormal growth? Either way, it now looks even sillier a bright blond. Joe, however, loudly declares it “the bomb.” Whatever you say, man.
Feeds go away, and when we come back - hallelujah - JoJo has been evicted by a vote of 5 to 1. Begone, foul woman. Shane is the new HoH, and Britney is grinning from ear to ear. She apologizes for the congratulatory jumping on his hurt-back self. He blows it off and goes to eat a bowl of cereal. Guess what kind of cereal. Go on, guess. Froot Loops! Heh. Poor Ian is getting the have-not room all to himself tonight, and he likens it to being the HoH of the prison.
She's got the Dan arm-thing down pat!
And Danielle is still in that awful wrapping paper-looking dress. Seriously, it’s awful. Maybe she’s hoping Shane will unwrap her? Meh. She and Dan unpack their stuff - a bit later, Shane promises that Danielle is safe. Dan is pleased. Boogie tells him he's golden right now, since Dan has a nice quiet girl on his team who will blend into the background.
Britney, in between all her open-mouthed chewing, now says that she thinks the chances of the coaches coming into the game are slim after Julie told them that Dan would be gone if Danielle was booted. They’ll find out soon enough...
Tonight’s dinnertime conversation deals with sex, periods, sex during periods, birth control, and whatever else Britney, Ashley, and Janelle can come up with. Boogie and Dan sit and listen, wishing they had access to ESPN or something more testosterone related. Britney shares about how she cried her eyes out when she left her new hubby for the summer, and Danielle the school teacher talks about various methods of birth control. She does manage to cover and tells of handing out Band-aids to her kids. Dan tells all that his wife has never been on birth control, since they emply some natural planning method approved by their church. And Janelle says that she tried the NuvaRing once and it made her go psycho. The conversation veers into TMI land, and I’ll spare you the rest.
The others - Frank, Wil, Joe, Jenn and Ian - parannoy in the kitchen about what Shane will do. Joe huffs that it’s too soon to be all worried about it. You’d better worry, caterpillar lip.
Hey, how'd that get in here? *snort*
Still stressing, Ian goes to Boogie and asks what he thinks about it. It’s going to be Wil and Joe, Boogie says. We control the vote, so one of those two will go regardless. Boogie says Joe will self-destruct and to just sit back and watch Janelle’s team fall apart. Ian seems relieved. I dread hearing Joe's mouth all week if he is nominated.
Janelle goes to Dan and tells him that they have to get Frank out because she’s positive the coaches are coming into the game - and Frank has told her that he’s going coach-hunting. Dan doesn’t think they’ll enter the game because it didn’t happen tonight (huh?). He tells her that she needs to get to Britney before Boogie does and make some kind of deal. Except, Janie and Brit aren't BFFs right now, so I don't know how that will work out.
So Janie goes to Wil and tells him they should offer Shane two weeks of safety, but Wil doesn’t like that one bit. He says at most they should offer one week of safety to Shane in exchange for just one person on their team going up.
THEN Wil goes to Joe and gripes about the whole thing. They don’t want Janelle negotiating for them. It’s their game, and they’ll do as they damn well please. Neither Joe nor Wil want to make a deal with Shane because they think he’s dumb enough to put Danielle and Frank on the block, and they say they won’t go sucking up to the HoH room tonight like everyone else. Wil does, however, plan on going to Shane in the morning and telling him that whatever deal Janelle offers has nothing to do with them because they’re doing their own thing.
Ian works on his sexy face. Keep trying, kid.
Later, Joe Blow tells Britney, Dan and Boogie that he wants to make a “royal breakfast” for the new HoH. Because that’s not sucking up at all.
Shane’s HoH room is revealed, and Queen Brit gets her coach’s room again. Everyone looks at the pictures, the letters are read. Shane’s mom tells him no more of the stupid faux-hawk hair. Go mom! His stash of goodies includes Fruity Pebbles (hee!), Nutter Butters, cashews, candy, wine, pajama pants and a Flo Rida CD. And apparently there was a new attitude in the basket, also, because he’s now Mr. Happy again instead of JoJo’s gloomy sidekick. Weirdness.
About midnight, Shane, Britney, Dan and Danielle sit in the HoH room, running through ideas. They agree that Wil, Joe, Frank and Ian all have to go, but Shane wants to wait til after the coach’s competition to make a decision. Joe comes bumbling upstairs, and Danielle leaves while Dan hides in the bathroom. Shane informs Joe that he doesn’t want to talk deals until after the comp, but Joe says he wants to target Frank regardless and will touch base with Shane afterwards. So much for not going up to the HoH tonight...
Down in the hot tub, Janelle, Joe and Wil do some Britney-bashing. Janelle says Brit’s nickname is “Bitchney” and wishes they’d brought Keesha or Rachel back instead. Oh, Janie. Not Rachel. Janelle thinks she and the evil redhead would have gotten along fabulously. Sigh.
Go away, Brit, or we'll never get a showmance going.
Brit, Shane and Danielle lounge in the HoH bed about 1:30 am. The girls are giving Shane pointers about nominating someone. “I know, I know,” he says. JoJo, is that you? Sounds like Frank (?) is the target - Britney and Danielle talk about how much of a beast he is physically. “Did you see his form doing push-ups? Perfect!” Shane pouts a little, asking if they think Frank is stronger than he is. Yes. Britney talks smack about Janelle, and Shane parrots Brit and says that Janie is so fake. Her team is just coasting, they say. I can’t tell if Shane is just humoring Britney or if he’s serious about Frank. Who knows. He does seem to have a final two deal with Danielle...for now.
Hamsters hit the hay early for the coach’s comp Friday, and once again, Boogie is the first up in the morning. He does a routine of odd exercises in the kitchen (jumping rope without the rope?) before Joe comes down to fix his kiss-ass breakfast. Bacon, eggs, pancakes, toast, cantaloupe, and juice all nicely presented on a tray. Shane is shocked. Joe tells him it’s his “apology breakfast” and Shane thanks him before chowing down. Britney gets hers, also, but wakes up in a daze and takes a while to get going on her food.
Small talk ensues as they wait, and Britney tells everyone about how Enzo used to sneak food when he was a have-not by taking bites behind the open refrigerator door, blocking the camera. I'm still waiting for Enzo to get famous. Any day now, right? Wil, who spent half of the previous evening slamming Janelle, talks with Janelle and gripes about Britney’s attitude. Apparently he tried to talk to Brit this morning, but she just blew him off and gave him a snotty look. Janelle agrees that Brit is being unpleasant. “F*** her,” sniffs Wil. And with that, my shift at the loony bin ends.
*The Boogie and Danielle caps taken by JustJuls!