Welcome back, Hamster Watchers, as we join our houseguests still competing for Head of Household. Dani is sitting on the sidelines, as the outgoing HOH can’t compete, but everyone else is slipping along a long pathway carrying tiny cups of soapy water to try to fill their big bowl. We see clips of everyone telling us how they need to win to be safe.
A HOH Contest That is a Slippery Slope
Jordan is still wearing the Humilitard, and those shoes don’t look to have much traction. Jeff tells us how cute Jordan looks in her soap covered outfit, but that he doesn’t have time to watch her disappear into the several feet of foam as he’s trying to win the contest. Shelly comes over to pull Jordan out of the foam. Adam hits the deck, lands on his can, and no-one notices that he’s completely out of sight. This is the last Adam is seen for this entire episode. Maybe he’s still under there. I almost forgot that he was still in the house.
Jeff wins HOH by a healthy margin. Porsche came in second, but as she proclaimed, that’s first loser. Rachel complains to Jordan about missing Brendon, but Jordan assures her that he’s safely sequestered in the Jury House, which reassures Rachel. There is much less crying and moping from Rachel than there was two weeks ago. Mr. LG translates that Rachel is less worried about Brendon hooking up with groupies or exes if he’s in the jury house than back home. Strangely, that makes sense.
Dani is hoping that Jeff and Jordan honor their quasi-deal, but I think she needs to bank on herself and her Veto Ticket to save herself. I don’t remember them even saying what the deal was, which makes it much harder to enforce. Law school students, this is the worst case scenario in demonstrating the “best evidence rule.” Even on videotape, there wasn’t a scintilla of a meeting of the minds in that vague conversation, yet Dani is planning her future on it.
The Most Exciting Moment of the Episode – a Product Placement
We get to see Big Jeff’s HOH room, and the most interesting thing is that Jordan runs off with the box of Lucky Charms. I love Lucky Charms. So does my 5 year old son. But he loves eating his right next to me so he can get extra marshmallows by repeatedly asking me “what is that one? I didn’t get one of those. Can I have it?” Yup, I’m a sucker, but my boy gets his love of Lucky Charms through me, so I can’t fault him.
Lucky Charms are worth eating straight out of the box, but I’m not sure that it’s worth hanging out with Rachel to get the Charms. Magical Deliciousness can only go so far. Shelly joins Rachel, Jeff and Jordan in the HOH room to tell Rachel she needs to stop rolling her eyes at Shelly and giving her the stare of death. To her credit, Rachel shuts up and an uncomfortable silence runs through the house.
Don’t Call Shelly Epicurious.
Next we get a montage of clips showing foods Shelly has never heard of, which include:
Hummus
Coconut water
Various vegetables of wide renown, and
Pears – seriously, who hasn’t heard of pears.
Shelly proclaims that they don’t have those foods “in the South” and her alliance-mate Jeff says Shelly has the food tastes and interests of an eight year old. I have to admit, I was 22 years old before I’d ever eaten a bagel, but since then I’ve branched out quite a bit. It’s fine to encounter new things, but how about having an open mind and trying things. 42 is not too old to try something new.
Hard boiled eggs and jalapenos are the Have Not treat of the week. Rather than having a contest, HOH Jeff gets to pick three people to be Have Nots. Without missing a beat, Jeff nominates Dani and her entire alliance, Porsche and Kalia. Hard boiled eggs – do they get mustard and mayo? It’s time for a deviled egg party, hamsters. I’m still disappointed they didn’t get licorice and liverwurst several weeks ago, as those are actually two of my favorite foods. Woe be anyone in the vicinity of my breath, but liverwurst is awesome. My 42 year old husband doesn’t get the attraction and refuses to try it. To his credit, though he has tried hummus, sushi, and even strange pears.
The Disproportionate Joy over Smaller Proportioned Furniture
The Big Brother table has now shrunk down to an eight-seater, and everyone celebrates. Shelly looks abnormally tan in her yellow bikini, but then not so extremely tan in her Diary Room interviews. It is odd. So is the extreme excitement over the smaller table. Someone should take these folks to IKEA, as they have lots of small furniture, and in fact entire houses set-ups in really small spaces right in their showroom. These folks could move right in and throw a party.
Kalia, Dani and Porsche all meet with Jeff one on one, thank him for putting them on slop, and try to lobby for their own survival:
1. Jeff reminds Kalia that he told her he’d come gunning after she dared to put him on the block when she was HOH (even though Rachel was her target at the time). Kalia bent over backwards and evicted her own partner that week, but it wasn’t enough to appease Big Jeff, and Kalia is on his hit list.
2. Dani gets reassurances from Jeff that they have an agreement and she offers to throw the Veto Competition if he doesn’t nominate her. That would be a bad idea, Dani.
3. Jeff practically laughs in Porsche’s face when she finally attempts to talk game strategy with him at this late stage in the game. Porsche has no clue how to even lobby for her own behalf, and pretty much tells Jeff she’d rather be nominated outright and play in the Veto Competition rather than risk being a replacement nominee. Great strategy, Custer.
How Do You Like Me Now?
Nomination Ceremony, and Jeff really sticks it to the opposite alliance by having Rachel pull the first key, dispelling any doubts that he could be going after anyone besides the Dani alliance. Throwing salt in the wounds, Shelly pulls the next key, and it isn’t until third that Big Jeff bothers to save his girlfriend.
The last key is for Dani, and Jeff hopes that he’s fooled her into throwing the Veto competition so he has a backdoor option. Driving home the point, Jeff tells everyone at the Nomination Ceremony that Porsche and Kalia deserve to be on the block, and then confesses in the Diary Room that he thinks Porsche and Kalia are going to nap through the Veto Competition, and he really hopes that Dani throws it so that he can backdoor her.
I hope that Dani wakes up, wins the veto, and then saves someone in her alliance so that Jeff has to nominate someone else (Adam, if anyone can locate him under the foam in the backyard, or Rachel, if her charm campaign continues). Maybe Shelly could be ticked off enough to throw a vote at Rachel, as Shelly likes to keep her options open and her food choices closed.


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