Well, I was hoping for an easy day to cut my teeth on recapping, but I just don’t have that kind of luck. Pretty sure the hamsters have all done gone and lost their damn minds. And took what was left of mine in the process.
The day starts off relatively calm with Shelly cleaning and Rachel cooking, and Brendon being filled in on what happened the week he was gone. Shelly tells Jordan that she’s feeling really cranky today but I didn’t realize just how cranky until later. They also talk about how Rachel and Brendon can’t be apart and how gross they are. Elsewhere, Kalia and Porsche have the same conversation about Brenchel. Up next, we get Brenchel talking. Rachel says the only thing you get by being in an alliance with people who don’t win anything (J/J/S) is nominated. She doesn’t remember that her two wins were given to her by the Donato’s and Brendon. Although, I’m pretty sure she could have won the banana comp on her own. She won a trophy in Vegas for that trick. Did I say trick? I meant feat. Yeah, I meant feat.
Shelly makes her way up to talk to Dani and her day goes south from there. They discuss the decision to keep Rachel, whose idea it was to nominate Lawon and eventually bring Kalia up to talk with them. Voices are raised, denials are flying, and accusations are being made. After the chat, Shelly makes her way to the BY with Jordan and predicts that Dani is going to shake up the nominations and it will possibly be Adam and herself.
Now it’s Brenchel’s turn to bombard Dani. Earlier, Brendon told Rachel not to throw anyone under the bus, but the minute they get cozy on the HOH couch, they start running over Jeff and Jordan like they are speed bumbs in the local trailer park. Rachel claims they do not have her back and that last week she was all alone and had nobody . I’m really starting to think that her ‘rocket scientist’ gave her a lobotomy between this season and last. The girl is seriously stoopid. Anyhoo, they talk and talk and talk in circles, throwing everyone under the bus including the kitchen sink, promise Dani the world, a secret alliance, and whatever else they can throw in the ring. Finally, taking a breath, Brendon asks if Dani can trust them and she responds with “Not 100%, no”. Meanwhile, Shelly is getting her grump on in the BY with Kalia. Calling her out for repeating the earlier HOH conversation to Porsche. Porsche gets called out to the BY and Shelly pretty much lets her have it to. She tells her that she’s worked really hard to keep Porsche from being a McSlutty Slut on national television. Ok, those weren’t her words, but she implied it. Said she lets her know when her skirts are too short and wouldn’t let her do a lapdance in a bikini so she wouldn’t embarrass her dad. That she is the only one who looks out for Porsches's integrity. As if she had any. Once Shelly walks away, the only thing Porsche gleened from that conversation was “SO……I’m just a 23 year old bartender? I don’t even know what just happened.”
Why yes, yes you are.
We go to trivia and come back to find Adam and Shelly on the block. Wait. What??? Yes folks. Dani bought what Brenchel was selling and has the plan in place to backdoor Big Jeff. However, the story is that Adam is the pawn and Brendon is the target. Dani is counting on B/R to keep this a secret. Bwahahaha! But Rachel can’t contain herself. The feeds come back and Jordan is questioning who’s been lying about her making deals with everyone. Shelly assumes it’s Porsche, then Rachel jumps in saying Shelly wanted to evict Jordan, which in turn Shelly calls Rachel a liar. Rachel goads Shelly some more, while Brendon keeps telling her to shut up. Rachel is blaming everything on Shelly. Finally, everyone separates and Rachel berates Brendon for not sticking up for her. Isn’t this man totally and utterly exhausted? A week off must have felt like heaven to him. Oh and Rachel swears to Jeff that she’s NEVER EVER said anything bad and him and his love. A nose job for Rachel would be pointless. It would just grow back. Jeff and Jordan have a little tiff of their own. It’s not even 8 pm yet and I’m exhausted. And all I’ve done today is sit in my chair, staring at the computer screen, wishing for some Xanax or a razor blade.
Do my lies make my nose look big?
Shelly is a hot mess. She’s been crying non stop for several hours. She talked to Dani (who really seemed to feel bad) and she’s trying to hide from the camera’s . Lockdown is over and all the HG’s move outside. Shelly is chain smoking and after a bit finally calms down. Even laughs a little. Rachel and Porsche sit by the hottub, most likely to antagonize Shelly. She ignores them. But Rachel gets the last laugh because her and Brendon worm their way into sleeping between Adam and Shelly. Shelly is not pleased. She has threatened to quit the game several times and Jordan admitted that she doesn’t really want to be there, either.
Dear Lord, please deliver me from RacHELL.
Dani, Shelly, Adam, Kalia Jeff and Jordan are playing in the POV. Dani is wondering if this is a sign to break her alliance with Brenchel. She also feels bad for Shelly. Because she misses her family, the game is getting to her and she has to sleep beside Brenchel…haha!
The blingtabless is comin' and everybody's jumpin' New York to San Fancisco, a hint to seek your disco, the wheels are still a turnin'....yes folks..the six flags song has lyrics!
*Brendon thinks Rachel looks better with less warpaint on. I bet he’d like her even better with a paper bag over her head.
*Brendon has a bald spot from a shaving mishap.
*Rachel claims she lost her BookieBear and her game at the same time last week.
*Kalia has a hair phobia but proceeded to dye Dani’s hair for her and agreed to trim Rachels. Phobia? More like a fetish.
*Rachel claims Jeff has made innapropriate sexual comments to her.
Guilt? Remorse? Indigestion?
I end my shift with Rachel giving Brendon a foot massage.
For your viewing pleasure...to take your mind off my last sentence. You're welcome.