(This recap covers Noon Friday-Noon Saturday, BB time)
The good news for night-owl feed watchers (like me): these houseguests stay up all night! The bad news for live feed recappers (like me): these houseguests stay up all night! If Evel Dick was still in the house, I don’t think he’d have been able to put on his Dick At Night show, because he never would have been the last one still awake. Let’s put on some coffee and dig in…
As this shift begins, the POV players are being chosen. Along with Rachel & Brendon and Keith & Porsche, one more couple will get to compete for the Power of Veto, and we eventually learn that it’s Jeff & Jordan. Don’t get your hopes up, New Kids – the Used HGs outnumber you this time. (Oh, and Adam is hosting.)
On the surface, the house still seems to be divided down the middle between New and Used, but there is still some residual squabbling going on among the New Kids after Keith’s mythical blow-up last night. Dominic seems to be telling Porsche that she’s in a better position at the moment, and Keith is telling whoever will listen to vote strategically and not emotionally; do what’s best for your game. (Meaning, pay no attention to that ranting fool in my mirror, please, save me!)
When Crazy Harry Met Crazy Sally
Not content with feeling safe, Porsche has her own personal complaints about Keith that make it sound like they are dating: she’s hurt because Keith told her he liked her, but then he went and rubbed Cassi’s shoulders! How dare he! So soon after their first non-date! I guess Porsche didn’t get Keith’s memo about not playing emotionally. I’m starting to wonder, if Porsche did get the memo, would she read it or eat it?
Little Dominic shares a brilliant idea with Keith and Adam: why not backdoor Rachel & Brendon next week? Dominic says “backdoor” a lot in his strategic talks, but I don’t think he knows the real meaning of the word yet. Or the other meaning, for that matter.
There’s a classic exchange between Keith and Daniele, as Keith complains that his own partner won’t talk to him. He asks Daniele what she would do if she were his partner. Dani politely shoots back, “I’d self-evict!” ZING! I’m liking Dani 2.0. She’s sassy and sulk-free!
Look! Dani 2.0 eats! Hooray!
Among the Used HGs, Rachel vows to Jeff & Jordan, "I'm going to fight my heart out. I'm not going to be emotional. It's a game." Mark the date and time, we will be coming back to this quote a lot this season…
There is more and more circular strategic POV talk among various groups of hamsters, because they all seem to think the POV will start soon. They’ve been on inside lockdown since Dick went to the DR the day before, and they will continue to be until the competition starts. Naturally, this promotes a little cabin fever among the twitchier HGs. Porsche and Keith finally talk alone, and Porsche’s complaints are expanded to include that Keith began campaigning to save himself immediately after they were nominated, which she considers a betrayal. She knows it’s just a game and she shouldn’t take it personally, but she’s taking it personally anyway. She points to Erika and Mike Boogie from All-Stars – she doesn’t want to end up like that if she starts trusting Keith. Keith keeps trying to apologize in his own semi-sincere way, but at the same time he’s frustrated at how she continues to mix her game talk with her personal feelings. She wants to see if the rules can change so she can put him on the block if they win HoH! This is one broken couple. Keith’s prospects don’t look good, as he sees his chances for mending fences in the house slip away. HE gets some comforting words from the older and wiser Shelly, but at the same time she’s quietly flipping out over being locked inside. She’s itching to hunt something.
In the kitchen, Cassi and Lawon decide that they and Dom are the only sane ones among the New Kids. Lawon dubs Cassi his “boo,” to which tomboy Cassi asks “Do you think I was meant to be born with a penis?” Cue America rolling on the floor.
Time passes and still there’s no competition. At about 5PM BBT, Dani complains about her father’s picture still being in color on the Memory Wall. (Interesting…) Twitchy Shelly asks her if she wishes she could talk to him, but Dani just wants to find out the details about what happened. She also wants the comp to start – she’s caught the twitch from Shelly!
Soon everyone has the twitch as well, and to pass the time, they set up a makeshift skee-ball game in the kitchen with a series of buckets and containers. It looks fun, although anything but game talk would seem fun by now, as the viewers are probably getting twitchy too. Luckily, about an hour later the feeds turn to trivia, and two more hours later, they return...
Lawon needs a hero.
We see Rachel & Brendon wearing red superhero tights. They won the POV. Jeff is celebrating with them in the HoH; apparently Jordan is off sulking, she’s mad at Jeff because they didn’t do well. The game seems to have been about the teams communicating with each other as they search for letter tiles to spell the word VETO. Suddenly, Rachel and Brendon launch into a long, complicated series of scenarios about what they should do with their limitless power this week. Should they backdoor someone instead? Should they flip the house to evict Porsche, since Rachel has decided she can’t be trusted? (What a shock, Rachel wants to go after the girl instead). Brendon talks about backdooring Dom, which would leave him and Jeff as the strongest physical competitors in the house. (What a shock, Brendon wants to go after a strong guy.) B&R go on for a while about keeping track of days in the house, and counting items, and calculating the square root of Franklin, which all leaves Jeff slack-jawed in his seat. He’s obviously zoned out, but is pretending to listen since he still needs them on his side. But at this early stage, it’s obvious that he wouldn’t know which number day it is if you put Shelly’s gun to his head.
"Ah'm bringin' sexy back to Chicago!"
There is showering and changing, although Brendon wishes he could wear his superhero costume all the time. He’s the first houseguest to voluntarily want to wear a unitard since Jen, the original Unitard winner from BB8. I see a certain symmetry in this fact. Brenchel’s delirium comes to a halt after Jeff leaves, and they begin to bicker about strategy. While the power still gets to both their heads as much as last year, Brendon reminds Rachel to stay on friendly terms with people, since they will tell them anything they want to hear while they are in power. Does this mean no more “house meetings” like last year? I doubt it.
Around 9PM BBT, we find that Dick’s picture has finally turned gray. He’s not coming back, folks. Let’s have a moment of smoke-filled silence…
In the kitchen, Keith and Porsche sit and mope, while Dom, Shelly and Jordan fix some dinner. Dom claims to be “the Filipino Bobby Flay.” I think he’s closer to Marcel from Top Chef, but that’s just me. Dom tries to comfort the seemingly doomed couple: Keith says that if he’s evicted, he’s going back to his normal life, and isn’t going to get involved in post-show activities or post on the internet. Dom vows to let him know what people are saying about him. Dom clearly wants Keith to stay over Porsche, and tells him to talk to Rachel and apologize for his behavior and attitude, and try to get in her favor.
The Have-Not room seems to be the HGs’ favorite room in the house, because everyone ends up hanging out in there. Dom, Cassi, Shelly and Keith are in there, and game talk turns to hygiene talk, which is comedy gold since Dom is such an OCD-ish clean freak. Shelly starts theorizing about people peeing in the shower, which is why she wears shoes in there. She also reminds them of what Lane did in there besides getting clean last year. Everyone (except easygoing Cassi) is grossed out, and Dom wants to jump out of his own skin at the mere thought. Rachel breaks up Dom’s twitch by entering the room, and everyone begins to kiss up to her and her peerless competition skills. Luckily she has some remarks prepared about the secrets to her and HER MAN’s success, and luckily my computer comes with a mute button.
After Rachel feels sufficiently schmoozed, the room segues into yet another long round of Would You Rather, and I’m not going to give examples of the choices because I’ve just started being able to eat again. These castmates do love to talk about bodily functions…
At this point there’s a lot of banter and small-talk (they still can’t go outside since production has to clean up the POV and reset the backyard). Some highlights:
Another ball-toss game breaks out in the kitchen. BB, hesitant about the rampant twitchiness among the cast, waits nearly until the middle of the night to give the houseguests some wine and beer. Deciding to save the wine until they can hang outside, they take the beer and gather around the enormous dining room table and begin a marathon round of “Big Booty” (well that’s what they call it anyway). Everyone joins in or watches, except for Jordan, whose treacherous condition has driven her to bed; Cam 3 is glad to look in on her from time to time while the party continues.
- Rachel & Brendon and Kalia gave up their apartments before the show started, and put all their things in storage. But Kalia forgot to prepay the storage company for the whole summer.
- The houseguests want to put out a slop cookbook after the season is over. Tentative title: Sloppy Seconds
- They decide it should be a coffee table book; Jeff has to be explained exactly what that is…
- Rachel & Brendon had to put their unitards back on for a DR session
- Attention! Jordan has PMS. And if you watched last year, you know what that means…run!
Rachel & Brendon, heeding their own advice, seem to be enjoying themselves more than anyone, laughing and cheering the loudest, as if the game itself were another competition to be conquered. The game started slowly since it took a while for everyone to grasp the rules, but once it gets going, Jordan comes out to join the party, and gets into the flow of things quickly. Everyone is having a loud, raucous time, and after the Big Booty game finally peters out around Midnight, they decide to open the wine and switch to Spin the Bottle. But instead of kissing, whoever spins the bottle asks a question, and whoever the bottle points to is the answer. Some examples:
The game evolves into a question/answer game, where the person who the bottle points to has to answer the question posed by the spinner. At this point things turn more pervy/graphic as they run out of clever questions to ask, and even I’m wishing some of them would go to bed. The game finally breaks up just before 1AM and the houseguests start getting ready for bed.
- Jordan: “Who’s gonna be the winner of Big Brother?” The bottle points to Adam.
- Adam: “Who’s gonna be the runner-up?” The bottle points to Cassi.
- Rachel: “Who’s gonna be naked the most this summer?” The bottle points to Adam!
- Shelly: “Who’s gonna be the saboteur?” (snicker) The bottle points to Jordan!
But do they sleep? Of course not! Cassie, Dom and Lawon start talking more game in the HN room. They weigh the options of keeping Keith and having his vote in their pocket. Kalia joins, and the talk turns to next week’s targets: Rachel and Brendon. They (mistakenly) decide that Rachel should go first, seemingly forgetting that last year, Brendon lasted quite a while without Rachel, whereas Rachel would be a wreck without HER MAN.
Up in the HoH, Jeff listens as Rachel again revels in her power, power, POWER! Should she switch the nominations, should she “send a message” to certain people, should she call people out? The old Rachel is back, and crazier than ever. Rachel finds Porsche for some girl-talk, and gets her to throw Keith under the bus. Rachel leaves her (and to whomever she blabs) with the impression that she might change the nominations. Crafty!
Later, the feeds mysteriously start showing a rerun of last season – no wait, it’s Rachel & Brendon in the hammock, having a fight! (The backyard is finally open again!) Same crazy, different year: Brendon is hurt because Crafty Rachel had the nerve to make a game move on Porsche without him present. She’s not a team player! (Meaning: he’s ridiculously insecure that she might be smarter than him and has to control everything she does.) “Baby, I just want you to be respectful of me and not be talkin' game when I'm not around.” Brendon still doesn’t know the true definition of “respect.” And apparently neither does Rachel, because she apologizes, and the fight is over; let the cuddling commence. Ugh.
The HGs continue to hang out in different combinations past 2AM, 3AM…c’mon guys! At one point, Shelly is hanging out with the Used HGs on the patio, making sweet talk. Is she doing recon, or setting up her long-term game? Rachel and Porsche have another dysfunctional child-woman to dysfunctional child-woman chat, where all kinds of scenarios are discussed where Porsche could save herself. Afterward, Rachel reports back to Brendon that there’s no way Porsche can be trusted, and that she plays a pretty dumb game for someone who knows Janelle (snicker). Brandon heatedly refers to her as a loose cannon. Still, nothing is decided yet, and they keep churning scenarios until they finally fall unconscious.
In the HN room, it’s back to talk about bodily functions, and how slop affects the digestive tract. Yummy! They finally poop out around 4:30AM, except for Jordan who finishes some laundry and cleans up before coming to bed.
The next morning, (hell, it’s only five hours later), Adam is the first one up. He sleepily starts the coffeemaker, and goes out to do some laundry, and then goes back in to double-check that he started the coffeemaker correctly. Once he’s sure it’s going, he goes back out to fold towels.
The other houseguests eventually get up, and the games begin! Keith sells out Lawon to Brendon as an untrustworthy person who was the real source for all the conflict the other night. Keith is trying to set up Lawon & Kalia as the people to replace him & Porsche on the block. Brendon is impressed, but makes no promises. Keith later tells Adam about this in the storage room, and Adam seems to be on board with Keith’s Hail Mary play should it work. Are Cassi, Dom and Lawon done for? Is being sane really an asset in Big Brother?
The first Alliance Wheel of the season is always the hardest. but let’s see who the bottle points to this week:
Twitchy, crafty and crazy! You can find out how much more oxygen these people’s lungs can take in with the next recap, as TheIrishEyes guides us through the rest of the weekend.
Thanks to lilcountrygal, JustJuls and TheIrishEyes for crafty captures!