Big Brother September 1 – Etov, The Singing Veto Competition Clam.

Welcome back, houseguest watchers, to an exciting Wednesday episode of Big Brother. Yes, that was sarcasm, as this episode is not exciting. They are really struggling to come up with content at this point this summer, as almost all of the drama has been evicted. Reminds me of the “we all get along” love-fest of the first season from 2000 where Chicken George talking to the poultry passed for high excitement.

Last Sunday, HOH Lane had nominated Ragan and Enzo, which made Britney happy but Enzo, not so much. Lane’s popularity in the house also took a hit when he opened Pandora’s Box and got a whopping $91.17 from the money tree (but people might not believe that he got so little). By opening Pandora’s Box, he released three punishments on the house. On Sunday, we found out that the first punishment was loss of all the utensils and cups for the week. Sadly, we don’t get to see any funny footage of people drinking out of homemade bongs and eating with chopsticks made of toothbrushes.

First order of business tonight, Enzo gets to take off the awesome Penguin suit that he’s been wearing for a full week. Hayden reminds the viewers that usually on Big Brother, anyone on the nomination block in a costume goes home. It happened to Kristen in the hippie-unitard earlier this season, and I can remember Jen in a red unitard and Casey in a banana-suit in prior seasons. Enzo has outlasted his penguin suit punishment and the house has a ceremony while Enzo evicts the penguin costume.

The Return of Etov, This Time, He’s A Singing Clam.

This is a fun competition, as Otev, the singing veto clam will sing a song about two of this seasons’ houseguests. Lane opines that Otev looks like Hamburgler, but it is really a doppelganger of Mayor McCheese. The contestants need to find a CD with the combined names of the two houseguests, and then scale a slippery slide and try not to be the last person with the right answer. Just like musical chairs, the last one is out each round (unless someone else has the wrong answer).

• Lane is the first one out, as he didn’t correctly remember that Matt had the diamond power of veto.
• Hayden is eliminated next simply by being last to get up the slippery slide, as they all had the correct answer.
• Britney is out when Ragan and Enzo both scramble to save themselves.
• Now it is up to the two men on the block to duke it out to save themselves.

Enzo has never won anything all game – will he pull it out now, or will Ragan once again save himself with the Veto? Otev sings the song, and both Ragan and Enzo knew exactly where the same CD with that name was located. They dive over the top of each other to get to it first, and Enzo out-muscled Ragan and won the Power of Veto. Ragan is so frustrated he hurls his CD at Otev the clam. It ricochets off Otev and smacks Enzo on the head – two melons with one blow.

Ragan is very disappointed and goes off the sulk. Enzo thinks he’s the cat’s meow now that he has finally won a challenge. He and Hayden conspire to vote out Britney and take away Lane’s “side alliance” if Lane names her the replacement nominee. Britney pleads her case to Lane to keep her safe as she has his back, but Hayden and Enzo have each others’.

These Puppets As Punishment have Nothing on the Creepy Marionettes from Puppetmaster.

The second punishment is revealed. The houseguests receive sock puppets made to resemble themselves, and the houseguests are required to use their puppets every time they talk for 24 hours. Britney likes her puppet and enjoys having another girl in the house, if only another her. Enzo seems to forget to use his puppet about half the time, but continues to wear it as they have matching hats.

Ragan secludes himself with his bow-tied puppet in the backyard, declaring his puppet to be “Wilson” from Castaway, the volleyball that Tom Hanks communicated with to prevent going insane while stranded on a desert island.

In what passes for entertainment this season, we see a discussion about how Enzo doesn’t know anything about golf. Britney tries to explain that each hole can have a different distance from the tee to the hole. Enzo doesn’t get why they have different clubs, or “sticks” as he calls them. Britney’s sock puppet declares that she (as a puppet made from a tube sock) knows more about golf than Enzo.

Can We Please Watch Them Scrub The Shower Grout Next?

Next up on this episode’s power-packed line up, Britney cleans up the kitchen and whines that they’ve already evicted Kathy and Brendon, the only neat freaks. She tosses out tons of half-eaten food, and then Hayden “assists” by wheeling out the huge trash can while she washes a stack of dishes. I didn’t realize I’d tuned into the house cleaning network (but it did start out somewhat resembling an episode of Hoarders with the stacks of trash and dishes).

Final punishment from Lane’s Pandora’s box challenge – 24 hour random dance marathon. At one point in each hour for the next day, Big Brother will play music and the houseguests need to get up and dance. They are dancing in the back yard. Enzo is dancing in the shower. At 3:49 in the morning, Ragan is dancing while sitting up in bed, not bothering to even get to his feet. I don’t think any of them will be heavily recruited to be on a future season of Dancing with the Stars.

Time for the Veto Ceremony – Enzo uses the veto on “me, myself, and I.” Apparently the royal meow meow refers to himself in the third person by actually thinking he is three people. We are not amused.

Lane needs to name a replacement nominee. Will it be Britney or Hayden? Has Britney convinced Lane that “his boys” might take her out if she’s on the block? Looks like it, as Lane names Hayden as his replacement nominee. Ragan is gleeful to think there may be cracks in the boys alliance.

Lane reveals in a confessional interview that he wants to take Britney to the finals, rather than his Brigade mates. I think that Enzo and Hayden might be suspecting this much, Lane, but it was still a better move to keep Britney in than to allow Hayden and Enzo to control the votes and get her out.

So, will Ragan be the sacrificial lamb on Thursday, or will Britney and Lane really declare war on the alliance and vote out Hayden (with Lane making a very public tie-breaker vote during the live show)? My guess – it’s bye, bye, Ragan. But tune in tomorrow to see and swing by to check out Ashley’s recap.