My eyes! My ears! I'm still in pain from Rachel coming back on Wednesday's show. I think her annoying voice is still ringing in my ears. I must admit I enjoyed seeing Rachel back in the house while Brandon wondered around paradise in search of his hobag precious redhead.

I will admit I'm super primed and super excited for this live episode. Matt is going to use his Diamond Power of Veto and I'm going to love it when Sir Brendon's mouth drops to the floor. Enough chatter, let's see what Julie Chen is wearing and how pregnant she looks!

Ms. Chen has on a fierce pant suit with enough bling to make Mr. T jealous. Baby bump? Mmm... maybe. But really, she looks smokin' as usual. After the usual “important stuff” clip recap, Julie reminds us of the DPOV rules. Matt can take himself off and name the replacement nominee. Brendon, as HoH and Ragan, as Veto winner cannot be nominated. Everyone else is fair game.

Which Tool Should Leave The Shed?

After the veto ceremony, Brendon is super happy that he is going to be responsible for sending Matt home. He gives a little shout out to his queen at the jury house. When she sees Matt walk in, she'll know how much Brendon loves her. Tee hee. Is anyone else secretly (or not so secretly) laughing inside? What a wonderful knight in shining armor he is!

Enzo and Hayden don't want to choose between two Meathead Alliance members, but if they must, they are going to vote Matty out. Yes, that's smart. Vote out the one guy who actually wins things from your tool alliance. Ragan is really, really sad that when he took himself off the block, Matt had to go up. He loves Matt and knows Matt is playing for his wife and her rare condition. Ugh. Ragan gives Matt a pep talk and tells him he deserves to be in the house. Matt can't tell anyone about the DPOV, so he just plays dumb and feels bad that Ragan feels so bad. Ragan thinks Brendon's face would be priceless if Matt were to stay. Matt laughs and says he knows and then he winks at the camera! Ah! I love it!

Matt asks Hayden and Enzo to tell him before the eviction if they are planning on voting him out. He doesn't want to be up against Lane and wants the heads up before he leaves. Matt is going to use this week to figure out where the Brigade members stand in terms of Matt vs. Lane. Hayden spills the beans about the pretzel message heard round the world, and doesn't forget to tell Matt that Kathy is the one who told Hayden about Rachel wanting Matt out. This gives Matt a reason to put Kathy up in his place. Hmm... decisions, decisions.

In the pool, Lane (shirtless....drooool) worries if he will have the three votes he needs to stay. Enzo says Lane has his vote, and Hayden will vote to keep him, and probably Britney since they are good friends. Enzo doesn't trust Matty much anymore because Ragan is his boy now, not Meow Meow. Enzo heads into the Have Not room where Matt is laying down. “Hypothetically” if Matt were to get sent to jury this week, would he still want a Brigade member to win the money? Matt says yes if everyone is straight up, but this raises suspicions that he is going to be voted out instead of Lane. Matt may feel the need to put Enzo up in his place. Wow, that would be something. CBS would need a 5 minute tape delay to catch all those f bombs dropping. Meow @#$@%^ Meow!

Kathy's The Saboteur, Yo!

As Ragan's final act of sabotage, he decides to leave a note under Enzo's pillow saying “I Know Your Secret”. Since Kathy made Enzo's bed that day and she was sleeping in the room when Enzo found the note, everyone concludes that she's the saboteur. Of course she is! There must be a reason why she sucks so bad at every competition.... or not. The house (sans Brendon and Kathy, they weren't invited to the party) then concludes that Kathy probably wrote the pretzel message saying to put up Matt as the replacement nominee. I mean really, it kind of all fits. They may even have me convinced if I didn't know it was really Ragan doing all of these lame things. The note was signed “s” for saboteur, but now Enzo thinks it's “s” for sheriff. Matt is excited that everyone thinks Kathy is the saboteur because if she's his replacement, the house will think he's a hero. Paranoia accomplished. Ragan wins $20,000 for doing a whole lotta nuttin'!

It's time for Julie to go live to the living room, and Britney gets the first question this week. Rachel was back in the house for a day, what was it like seeing her again? Britney says it was surreal. She was sleeping when Rachel came in, and when she heard and saw Rachel, her mouth dropped to the floor. She says everything let loose. Julie asks Ragan if he has any regrets about anything he said to Rachel since she's a jury member. He says his integrity isn't for sale and he'd rather lose $500,000 than stay quiet. I'm still in awe about what Rachel said to Ragan on Wednesday night's show about him being a bitch because he's gay. That was awful. Now it's Lane's turn to say something stupid. If Lane could have his mom send one thing into the house from home, what would it be? Well, Muscle Milk, of course! He hates the soy protein stuff he has and wants Muscle Milk. Apparently it tastes like Thanksgiving food. Alrighty then. I think Lane is best seen, not heard. Julie asks the houseguests to raise their hands if they believe the saboteur is still in the house. They all raise their hands. She tells them they are correct, but the saboteur's reign has come to an end. Lame. Why would she tell them that?

Britney and Lane, Sittin' In A Tree

Since there is apparently no more interesting house footage to show from this week, let's go check in on some of the houseguests' families! First up is Britney's family. She lives in a small town in Alabama with a population of under 700. Britney's mom claims Britney has always marched to the beat of her own drum. She was into pageants, theater, and piano when she was younger. Britney's mom isn't sure if Lane is Britney's good friend or something more. Either way, Brit has mom's support. Brit's mom thinks Lane has a crush on Brit, but his ultimate loyalty lies with the Brigade. In Lane's hometown in Texas, his mom (who seems a bit crazy) says that if you looked Lane up in the dictionary it would say “meathead jock who loves puppies”. Hmm.. ok. She says he's edgy and complex but a good Southern boy. His mom also thinks he likes Britney and she wouldn't be surprised if he brought Brit home. Lane's brother is surprised that Lane and Brit haven't hooked up yet, and he's afraid that Brit is distracting Lane's game.

Diamonds Are A Matt's Best Friend

We head back into the house where each nominee will give their final plea to stay. Wouldn't it be funny if Lane stood up and lassoed a bull or something? He could at least take off his shirt. He'd have my vote! Anyway, Matt is first. I'm so excited! One of our wonderful posters and live feed recappers, TheIrishEyes, took the time to transcribe Matt's speech. Here it is:

Brendon, it's no secret, I've been on your radar, public enemy #1 this whole week as a target, I'm not totally sure why. I gather from your convoluted veto speech it involved your girlfriend, who's not even here anymore, wanting me out. Or something else, maybe, involving you having the inability to make your own decisions in this game, or needing to rely on past houseguests and pretzel messages. Either way, neither here nor there, cause here I sit on the block, like a chump, ready to go home, I'm sure you're beaming with delight as you well should be. And for that, Brendon, I say congratulations. Congratulations on coming so close to achieving your goal. But, uh, better luck next time you big dummy, because I'm going to use the Diamond Power of Veto tonight to save myself from the block. It's not really a well put together Diamond Power of Veto, let's just pretend I put this around my neck, and that's what I'm doing.

That was one of the best speeches I've heard on this show! Julie confirms the DPOV is real and explains that Matt got it from Pandora's box. Ragan instantly begins to cry because his BFF gets to stay, Brendon looks like he just watched a puppy die, Britney's mouth drops to the floor, and Enzo's hands start waving around like grenaaaaaaaaaades yo! I think I'm more excited for Ragan than I am for Matty!

Julie makes him name his replacement nominee on the spot. He says the only person he really wants up, he can't put up... meaning Brendon. He says he wants the house to be as competitive as possible, so Kathy is the replacement. Kathy isn't competitive? Oh come on now! Lane and Kathy now have a chance to address their fellow housemates. Lane goes first. He says hi to his family and tells everyone in the living room they are his second family. He can't say anything bad about Kathy and he respects everyone and their decisions. Kathy loves everyone, she's had “a awesome” time. No hard feelings toward Matt because he needed to do what he needed to do. Everyone makes her smile and she has integrity, yada yada. Well, I'm sure this isn't going to be a tough decisions, but let's check the votes anyway!

Hayden- Kathy
Enzo- Kathy
Goofy Grinned Ragan- Kathy
Matt- Kathy
Dancing Britney – Kathy
She leaves the DR and does a dance the whole way down the hallway. She's hilarious.

By a vote of 5-0, Kathy has been eliminated. Wow, that must suck. She never saw it coming. I'm not sure she would have known even if she was on the block to begin with. That Kathy isn't the sharpest pencil. What is it with Kathy and jumpers? She loves a jumper! Last week it was denim, this week it's black. She asks someone to be in charge of feeding the fish and she also tells everyone to be good to each other.

She meets Julie and immediately says the game is hard and she didn't have a chance to fight to stay. I agree with her there. She had no way to defend herself. She thinks she was put up as a replacement because Matt is closer to everyone else and she's kind of an outsider. Kathy says it hurts that she didn't get time to say goodbye to everyone and it really is okay that Matt put her up as the replacement. Julie asks if Kathy felt safe this week and that's why she fell off so soon in the Veto Competition. Kathy laughs and says she really did fall off and not on purpose.

Mean Girls, Rejoice!

The HoH competition this week is a True or False game. Earlier in the week, the houseguests were subjected to “Big Brother says” messages where they had to perform silly tasks like TPing the HoH room, doing jumping jacks in the kitchen, etc. The questions in this competition will be about those tasks. Each houseguests has their own little stall. They have to spin their answer block to either True or False. A wrong answer gets you eliminated. The last person standing will be the new HoH.

Question 1: T or F? Big Brother said, “Jumping jacks are an important part of your physical fitness. Hop over to the living room and do 12 of your very best jumping jacks.”
Correct answer: False. It was the kitchen, not the living room.
Eliminated: Ragan and Hayden

Question 2: T or F? Big Brother said, “You haven't been showing your fellow houseguests much love this season. Give yourselves a giant group hug for 2 minutes.”
Correct answer: True
Eliminated: Matt. On purpose. He gives a thumbs up and mouths “perfect”.

Question 3: T or F? Big Brother said, “To leisurely stroll into the backyard, get down on your hands and knees, and bark at the moon.”
Correct answer: False. Big Brother said to howl, not bark.
Enzo, Britney, Lane still in the competition

Question 4: T or F? Big Brother said, “Wherever you can find toilet paper, gather it, and TP the HoH room like you're back in high school.”
Correct answer: False. Big Brother said to TP in your most decorative fashion
Eliminated: Lane

Question 5: T or F? Big Brother said, “Turn your world upside down, so sashay to the backyard and try to hold a handstand for 5 seconds.”
Correct answer: False. BB said mosey, not sashay.
Both Britney and Enzo got it right so they both stay in the game.

Question 6: T or F? Big Brother said, “You all look a little lonely, pretend to make out with an imaginary friend for as long as you desire.”
Correct answer: True
Both Britney and Enzo got it wrong, but they will both stay in the game.

Question 7: T or F? Big Brother said, “Lately, you've all been doggin' it. Chase your tail around in a circle until you're so dizzy you can't stand up.”
Correct answer: True
Eliminated: Enzo

Britney is the new HoH!! Mean Girls (and me... I love Brit!) everywhere rejoice! Julie reveals that Brit won't be the only one holding the power next week. Ooooo!

In case you like to vote, here are the Have Not options for the week:
A. Artichokes and Anchovies
B. Broccoli and Bean Dip
C. Prunes and Pimento Loaf

Julie goes live again with the houseguests to congratulate Britney on being HoH and the only woman left in the house. Julie asks Matt how difficult it was to keep the DPOV a secret. He said he is horrible with secrets and it was hard with his little cuddle buddy Ragan around him crying all the time.

You know the drill with the episodes. Sunday will be noms, Wednesday will be veto. LG will be covering both, so be sure to check out her recaps. Next Thursday... IT'S DOUBLE EVICTION WEEK! Woot woot! Let's throw some more hamsters out on the street! A full week's worth of stuff thrown into one episode. I love it.

As the show ends, Ragan is having a dancing/jumping party for 1 in the Have Not room. He looks right into the camera and mouths/motions “I love you”. Wow, he's one happy guy. He must really enjoy Matt's company to be so excited about Matt sticking around. This should be an interesting week. Will Britney keep her word to Brendon about not putting him on the block? I think we have more of a chance of Kathy coming back into the house and winning a competition. Until next time...