*This is a recap of events from noon Sunday to noon-ish Monday, hamster time*
Missed the landing of Hurricane Rachel Saturday? Check out TheIrishEyes’ awesome recap of all the drama as Rachel and her extensions tore through the house, a category 5 on the Skank-o-scale. What a mess.
Noon hits the house with a thud as my shift starts: Britney and Ragan laze on the outdoor couch, thinking of new ways to trash Rachel, who is thankfully out of the house for my watch. Can I get a hallelujah! Now, let’s just hope that she stays gone. She’s like a fungus that just won’t die. Kathy has arisen from the dead to come out and wash everyone’s nasty clothes as little white feathers float daintily all over the backyard. And Enzo and Hayden wake from their beauty nap to make some lunch. I’ll spare you the details of Enzo shoveling food into his piehole. You’re welcome!
No sign of Brendon yet. Not that I miss him or anything. It’s strangely peaceful with both of them out of the house.
Lane, Enzo, and Hayden have a quickie conversation confirming that they need to get Matt out of the house this week. Well, we know that isn’t happening. Apparently Matt told Britney he wanted to be put up, and of course, she ran to tell the boys. Who will Matt put on the block after he whips out his little sparkly veto? We probably won’t know until it happens, since he can’t talk to anybody about it. But he sure tries to, later.
Must...chew...food. So...hard! Want to...lie down...
Oh, joy - Brendon’s back! They all act glad to see him and immediately interrogate him, asking where he’s been. Supposedly he was blindfolded, taken out, got an “amazing” massage - without the happy ending, he informs the world - and the others tell him Rachel was back while he was gone. He makes out like he had no idea (but suspected), and just as he’s telling everyone where he was and how he got there, we get...bubbles. Freaking bubbles. Seriously, what are we paying for, here? In between Skippy blowing bubbles, about all we learn is that Brendon was blindfolded the whole time he was in the limo to Malibu, and he got drunk. Sounds like a typical night for Rachel. No wonder they get along so well!
Enzo and Hayden waste no time in crawling up Brendon’s behind as soon as he gets to the HoH room. They go into more detail about Rachel’s visit, and share that Rachel claimed that Britney was going around saying that Brendon said Enzo was the saboteur. Get all that? Which has Enzo all in a huff. How dare someone accuse him of doing something shady when he’s (literally) done nothing the whole time he’s been in the house? He’s perfectly content with letting others bloody their hands while he kicks back, thankyouverymuch. Britney is turning into the house pariah and the root of all evil, if you listen to these two. Nobody trusts her, say Enzo and Hayden, and they gleefully tell Brendon about Brit’s good-bye message to Rachel. Which was not her real goodbye message, because BB has no problem tossing her under the bus in the name of drama.
Britney has her eye on you! And, one on that guy way over there.
Britney hauls her butt upstairs to give Brendon her version of what happened with Rachel. As she attempts to schmooze Brendon, Enzo and Kathy are outside trashing her. Kathy gripes about Britney being a princess and leaving her dirty glasses everywhere, and how she hates “fake people.” Know what I hate? People who can’t even pull themselves out of five inches of caramel. Kathy declares herself drained from all the drama, and crawls off to do laundry. Enzo asks Ragan, who has wandered over, if he believes Britney or Brendon. Definitely Britney, replies Ragan. He calls Brendon an impulsive player and that nothing he does makes sense. Brendon will do something stupid and come up with a pile of excuses for it later. “Retroactive sense making,” says Ragan.
Changing subjects, Enzo brings up his dismal performance during the HoH comp with the ropes, thinking BB will have plenty of footage of him crying about it and he hopes his wife won’t be too upset with him. Hey, if she can put up with his atrocious table manners, I’m thinking he’s good to go with losing the comp.
Matt comes out of the DR and tells Enzo they made him redo last night’s DR because they didn’t want him in pajamas. Unhappy Skippy throws the bubbles on us. Like all this stuff is such a secret to us. Sigh.
Kathy then takes the opportunity to suck up to Brendon, telling him that Rachel misses him sooo much and “loves you more than anything in the whole wide world!” She said Rachel doesn’t want to see him in the jury house no matter what. She won’t speak to him if he walks through the door because that means he gave up. Or, that she found someone else to latch onto....Brendon eats this hooey up, and says the room still smells like Rachel. Biting my tongue.
What do I have to do, draw them a picture?
Outdoors, the daytime pool tourney has begun. Enzo makes a big show of putting the “trophy” on a vase and sets up three pool cues around it. Oh, and he announces that his ass hurts from sitting all day. Sheesh. Enzo eventually wins and paints his name in nail polish on the trophy in huge letters, leaving almost no room for others to put their names on it and filling the room with enough fumes to make them all high as kites. Ten bucks says he takes that sucker home with him, he’s so proud of it. Brendon joins the chit chatters outside and asks Britney what she considers southern states. Mississippi, Georgia, Alabama, Texas, and especially Arkansas. NOT the Carolinas, Tennessee, or Louisiana. I’ve lived here quite a while and am shocked to find out that this isn’t a southern state. Shocked, I tell you.
Where do they FIND these people?
Game talk? I can’t keep up with the BS being flung around. The person going on the block depends on the group you’re listening to. Matt, Enzo, and Hayden say Britney should go up. Hayden, Lane, and Enzo are paranoid that Matt isn’t afraid, but want him up anyway. Basically, when Matt is in the room, Britney is the target. When Matt is gone, he’s on the hit list. And don’t even try to keep up with what Enzo wants, because his babbling changes from minute to minute. “Logic” and “Enzo” do not belong in the same sentence.
Since nobody has a clue how to cook the escargot and Rachel “forgot” to show them before she left, Brendon has taken on the challenge. Several pounds of rosemary and garlic will be used, I’m sure. I’m also sure that 99% of those snails will go uneaten. I’d rather go chew on a tree. Or the fake grass outside. Brendon tells the others that he had a personal chef while he was gone, so maybe this has inspired the wannabe chef.
While dinner is cooking, Enzo parannoys to Hayden about Matt once again. Why isn’t he nervous? He must have deal to get Lane out over him! But why hasn’t he shared it with us?! I don’t trust him! Ugh. The braintrust of Enzo and Hayden think final four should be them, Lane, and Kathy. And apparently Enzo thinks all this will just drop into his lap without him winning a thing.
Enzo searches for dessert.
Lane is outside playing pool with Britney, sharing stories. He tells a doozy about how when he was younger, his parents up and moved from Oklahoma to Texas without giving him any warning. Just showed up at his school one day, took him home, packed and hauled butt. He didn’t even get to say goodbye to his friends. All this because his dad thought he would have a better chance at a football scholarship in Texas. And - look where Lane is now! Heh.
Another lame-o saboteur message is played, something about an upcoming “event” that could very well change the course of the whole game. Yeah, okay. The hamsters wonder if they should go to bed early just in case (Oh, yay. Like I have so much to work with already). BB isn’t building anything in the backyard, so they know it won’t be a physical comp.
Nothing of note strategically happens Sunday night, except for Matt’s subtle hints to his Brigade buddies that he has a power and not to freak out and expose their alliance, no matter what happens this week. He throws several of these comments out, but none of these dimbulbs gets the hint. Matt gets fairly obvious a couple times, and I worry that BB will reprimand him for letting the cat out of the bag. But, he gives up trying to get anything through to these numbskulls and goes inside, leaving Enzo to his paranoia about Matt’s zen attitude. Honestly, I think Matt could have drawn pictures in crayon and they still wouldn’t get it.
Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?
Early Monday morning brings more saboteur messages, basically just things to make them paranoid. And irritated, as they play between 2 and 6 am. Such hits as:
"Wake up, houseguests, wake up! Houseguests, remember, expect the unexpected."
“Hello, houseguests. Did you miss me?”
“Houseguests, I hope you said your prayers tonight.”
“Could someone be leaving tomorrow?”
“Houseguests, what’s wrong? Am I keeping you up?”
And on and on.
Hayden is convinced it’s Rachel, while Kathy calls the sab a jerk. At 5 am, sleepless, Brendon, Enzo, Hayden and Kathy make coffee and pizza while discussing the messages. They’re worried. Will there really be a comp today, and will someone be evicted like the sab insinuated?
Nah. It was all for drama.
They finally crash into bed once the sab shuts up. At 8 am, Ragan wanders out to the hammock and talks to himself. Or us. He’s contemplating an alliance with Brendon, thinking Enzo, Hayden and Lane have a final three deal and that Matt could even be in on it (Woohoo! Please out these guys, Ragan). He believes that the three need to be broken up, and if Lane was gone, he could bring Britney into the fold. Still, it pains him to think about aligning with Brendon...
Ragan drags Matt out of bed to talk, and he’s positive that Matt is going on the block after he uses his veto. Britney must have made a deal with Brendon, says Ragan. Matt again hints that Ragan should expect a surprise if there is indeed an eviction today, but Ragan is afraid for Matt. Ragan then goes to Brendon to plead for his little buddy, and Brendon admits that if he puts Matt up, it’ll be because that’s what Rachel wanted. You can’t play this game for Rachel, admonishes Ragan, you have to play logically. Matt has always kept his word to you even when it pissed off the others, reminds Ragan. Ragan makes a long-winded speech concerning All That Is Good About Matt, but will Brendon do what he wants, or what Rachel wants him to do?
You’ve seen how whipped Brendon is. What do you think?
Brendon is called to the DR, and when he returns, he gathers Britney to talk. She swears up and down that she won’t put him up next week, she’ll keep her word. Even swears on her fiancé Nick. The veto meeting is called, and....Matt is put on the block as Ragan’s replacement. Like we couldn’t see that coming from a mile away. Somewhere, Grodner is wringing her hands in delight at the thought of the Super-Duper-Sparkly-Fake-Diamond-OMG-Veto will be put into play.
Ragan is disgusted. He thinks Matt is being punished for playing the game and doing what nobody else had the balls to do, but Matt is all Don’t Worry, Be Happy. It doesn’t bother him in the least, because he knows he’s golden. He once again tries to clue the others in that there is a special power: “I really have a hunch that there’s a power out there. It could be you, it could be you, it could be me, but it WILL be used. Keep the dream alive!”
It goes in one ear and out the other for Enzo. But Hayden is starting to believe there IS a power out there...
*Thanks to Mari for taking such awesome screencaps!