(This recap covers Noon Friday-Noon Saturday, BB time)
It’s Friday the 13th. What terribly unlucky events await our poor houseguests? Knock wood three times and let’s find out.
The beginning of the shift finds our zany bunch in an outdoor lockdown. They suspect that America has once again voted for some additional (and disgusting) food for the Have-Nots to eat, and that it is currently being arranged majestically on the dining room table. To pass the time, they wave at passing planes, and chat about body parts they would consider eating as long as they still weren’t attached. When the lockdown ends, they re-enter the house, but find no strange food on the dining table. In fact, they don’t even find the same table – yes, the time has come for BB to switch to a smaller table to mark the halfway point of the season. After trying it out and celebrating their achievement together, they go about their business in various parts of the house and yard. Britney heads up to the HoH (with tissues) to wait for Brendon: it’s her turn to dance. She is admiring his niece’s drawings when he comes in.
Doesn’t Matt look bigger all of a sudden?
Brendon starts out by apologizing (!) for all his harsh words towards her this past week, and claims it was all out of his love for the dearly departed Rachel. Britney hops on this train to she how far she can ride – she starts tearing up when he mentions saying he thought Nick was cheating on her while she was here. She claims to have acted badly too, and he sympathizes. She says she never really turned on Rachel, that evicting her was a house decision because they all thought the next HoH comp was going to be a quiz, which Rachel has always dominated. Brendon believes she was being honest with Rachel all along; he’s being incredibly understanding and she’s being incredibly humble. It’s like their bodies have been taken over by different people! They are complimenting each other as real competitors, toasting Rachel’s accomplishments, agreeing that only ‘real competitors’ deserve to still be there, apologizing again and again – is it real or is it time to put on the hip-waders? Brendon even promises to tell her if he’s going to put her up – which would be a violation of the rules, but hey, more fun for us, right? Britney: Mission Accomplished.
”Hey, it worked for Rachel…plus, my tear ducts actually work!”
Lane is next on Brendon’s list. Lane insists that Rachel went because of a last-minute decision by others to flip just before the live show (no names of course – there never are in these stories). When talk turns to this week, Lane wants to work with Brendon, and he mentions Ragan and Britney’s names about 342 times in the span of five minutes, trying to get his BFF and/or her GBFF evicted without getting his hands dirty. What a gentleman. With all his multi-layered alliances, you’re never really sure who his real bus-driving target is. Lane: We’ll See.
Another outdoor lockdown is called; surely this time it must mean Icky Food approaches. Ragan reminds them that it was this time last year that Chima had her legendary breakdown before being removed from the house. Matt suggests they observe it by ignoring the DR all day. Those two!
Lane shares the details of his HoH meeting with Enzo. Enzo starts talking about everyone who he wants out of the house now (which is basically everyone). He talks tough about not going up to kiss Brendon’s well-toned behind. Enzo also talks tough about outing the Brigade soon, he’s tired of all this pussyfootin’ around with side alliances. Yeah, tough guy, we’ll see…
The lockdown ends, and sure enough, the curious HGs find the dining table covered in…snails and eggplants! (You say escargot, I say potatah.) After the initial revulsion, some of them get curious; Brendon even tries a snail, and says it’s not bad, it just tastes a little like dirt. Why do I think he knows this because ate a lot of dirt as a child? They also find breaded eggplant slices and baba ganoush in the fridge, which are not a punishment at all if you ask me! Bring it on! Surprisingly, few of them seem to know what baba ganoush is. Really? (Think hummus, but using eggplant instead of chick peas.)
After the crowd disperses, Hayden and Enzo return to the BY to start another round of “Let’s come up with ten conflicting strategies and agree they’re all the way to go!” If this were Batman instead of Big Brother, Hayden and Enzo (and Lane) would be the anonymous masked henchman behind the Arch-Villain leader (Matt). When they break the huddle, they seem to be leaning on the idea of targeting Britney and Ragan and keeping Brendon next week…if one of them wins HoH. With them, this is a big “if.”
The New Beatles has two Ringos.
As the house awaits nominations, Hayden makes his way up the HoH to strategize in reverse with Brendon. This just in: Brendon still likes fighters in the house, and doesn’t like the backdoor (mmm-hmm). He starts asking Hayden what they should do about Lane. Hayden thinks Lane would stay if put up because he’s so tight with Britney, Ragan and Matt (nice deflection). He also suggests that Lane could be brought into this new manly alliance of theirs. Brendon wants to make sure he doesn’t get anybody mad this week. Hayden feels comfortable enough to tell him that everyone is already mad at him. So the brilliant plan is to win POV no matter who is on the block. Eureka!
After burning some more wood in his brain, Brendon decides that he’s probably going to nominate Lane and Britney. He thinks Lane needs this as a character-building exercise. He dispatches Hayden to find Enzo so he can be informed before the ceremony.
Hayden confers with Lane and Enzo quickly, and they are all giggles about how well things are going for them . Enzo goes up to the HoH and Brendon lets him know the play. He also counsels Enzo to start trying harder in comps from now on. (Who is this guy, the CEO all of a sudden?)
All house activity is interrupted by the TV in the living room; it’s another saboteur message! This one sounds extra lame, claiming that there is still a male-female couple in the house. The houseguests are as skeptical as they are underwhelmed. The new saboteur is about as scary as a wet balloon. Everyone hangs out on the couches for some small-talk, including the topic of Andrew, followed by an interesting exchange where Arkansans Britney and Kathy both believe there are no Jews in Arkansas, since they’ve never met one. Well girls, according to Wikipedia, although they make up less than 1% of the population, there are in fact Jews in the state. The more you know…
They'll make you nice and strong, and keep your exo-shell hard and shiny!
There is still time for more meetings before nominations, so Brendon invites Matt up for a chat. He informs Matt of his plans to put up Lane and Britney, and also repeats his distaste for backdooring. In exchange for ensuring Matt’s safety, he wants him to promise the same next week. Matt gets around actually promising by asking more questions, and brings out Brendon’s love for fighters. Matt’s a fighter. He likes that. But this week Matt has to fight for the POV to keep the nominees in place. Matt plays up the fighter thing, and reminds Brendon of his need for the money (oy vey). Matt then puts his hand on his heart and swears he did not receive any money from his interaction with Pandora’s Box (which is the truth, ha!). Matt promises to fight hard for the POV, knowing that Brendon is taking their chat to understand that Matt won’t put him up or BD him next week, which Matt never really agreed to. This is what happens when men talk in shorthand and communicate the rest through looks and grunts. Matt: Mission Accomplished
Brendon is called to the Diary Room, but before going he tells Britney that she is going to be nominated. Oops, that’s against the rules, B! I wonder if BB will remember, and punish you for that. Matt scampers off to the bathroom to tell a wet, glistening, showering Hayden that Lane and Britney are going up (he already knows, but is pretending he didn’t). It’s interesting to note that soon after this, Enzo lies to Matt and Lane about knowing who is going up. Also he privately complains about Matt telling Ragan too much. What kind of impenetrable alliance are these guys running? Sheesh.
Matt then sits with Ragan and Britney in the Have-Not room as they compare stories. Brendon returns from the DR and calls Britney back upstairs to tell her that he’s not allowed to say that she’s definitely going up, so, uh, forget he said it? An upset Britney starts pleading her case as a fighter, and wants to understand what Brendon is thinking with his noms. More talk about fighters and floaters leads to Brendon promising Britney that he won’t backdoor her. Hmm…maybe BB told him by telling Britney she was going up, he can’t nominate her now? Of course he won’t say so, but it will be interesting to see if the TV show addresses this. Britney has gone from dead-meat to seemingly safe in a very short span of time (and many tissues).
The feeds cut to trivia, as the nomination ceremony begins. When we return, Lane is on the block, but instead of having Britney for company, he will sit beside Ragan. Everyone is a little puzzled, since Brendon didn’t have time to tell anyone he might change his master plan. Ragan is confused and distraught, being comforted by Hayden in the HN room.
In the cabana room, a perceptive Britney shares her theory with Matt, Lane and Enzo: promises aside, if Ragan wins POV, Britney will go up, and if Lane wins, Matt will go up. Britney leaves for a minute and Enzo starts freaking out. Diamond POV holder Matt just keeps telling him not to worry about it. Matt talks about nailing Brendon hard next week, using whoever is left.
Brendon visits Ragan’s tomb and apologizes. Ragan forgives him but wants it made clear that he’s no floater. Brendon agrees and tells him to fight for the POV (gee, thanks, I’m sure Ragan never thought of that).
Brendon walks a few steps over to Taj for some quick comfort from Mama Kathy, who tells him he did good. Then he completes his Walk of Shame Tour with a stop at Lane in the Cabana Room. Again, sorry man, oh and sorry he didn’t have the time to tell him first, which would have been against the rules again but hey, we’re in Brendon’s world! Who knows what color the sky is today…Brendon talks about some complicated plan where he wants Britney or Matt to win POV and take Lane off the block. He expects them to fight hard to honor his wishes. Yep, I’m thinking the sky is plaid today.
Matt is in the Have-Not room with Britney, trying to cheer up Ragan. Meanwhile, the rest of the Brigade is in the kitchen comforting Lane, and basically agreeing that if Matt replaces Ragan on the block, Matt will be the first Brigadier to leave the BB house. Lane is also not too keen on Britney at the moment, either.
Inspector Clousouth-Jersey is on the case…
The feeds unexpectedly go to trivia again, but this time because BB is holding the POV selection early for some reason. And the news is not good for Ragan: The three extra players are Enzo, Hayden and Kathy. Yikes. Nice knowin’ ya, Ragan.
Matt tries to pump Ragan up, but Ragan can see the downside of winning the POV: he’ll be safe, but one of his best friends will most likely be evicted as a result. Matt tells him not to worry about that part, just focus on winning. He might as well have started singing a chorus of “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” at this point. Britney joins them, and Ragan tries to be a good soldier.
”You want to save me in the POV…you don’t like women anymore…you no longer care whose
hand it is down your pants…when I click my heels three times, you will awake and remember nothing!”
The Brigade (minus Matt) borrows the HoH to concoct cover stories for Lane not choosing Britney, as well as for why they will use the POV on Lane if they’re not supposed to be in an alliance. Also, they can convince Brendon that their intentions are true since Lane didn’t pick Britney to fight for him. I’m still wondering how Lane is going to smooth things over with Britney. More talk about outing the Brigade and badmouthing Matt is interrupted by Britney, who sticks her head in but then leaves to retrieve her microphone. When she leaves, they agree in their paranoia that she is on to them. Lane claims that she told him to pick Hayden since he has the strength to back up the smarts (really?). Britney returns and reports that Matt and Ragan are freaking because Lane didn’t pick her to play, even though she told them that she wanted it to happen. Matt joins them, and it’s officially an anti-Brendon HoH room.
Meanwhile, a devastated Ragan lay motionless in his cruddy beach chair, muttering to himself.
Some time later, after the HoH party has dispersed, Hayden has Brendon alone in there, feeding him all the stories they came up with earlier to reel him in. Basically, Lane should be brought into the boys’ club, since he’s obviously over Britney and ready to sell her and her sniveling friends out. Oh yeah, one of those snivelers is the man who has gotten all of the blood on his hands for the Brigade so far, but apparently this counts for squat in a post-Rachel game.
At this point, people start talking in smaller groups throughout the house in so many combinations, it’s hard to sort them out, also hard to care because so much of it is double-talk meant to throw someone else in the room off the scent. If Brendon’s not there, Brendon has to go next week. If Matt’s not there, Matt has to go next week. If Kathy’s not there…well no one really cares, bad example. But everyone is still puzzled by the nominations, which makes me believe even more that Brendon was forbidden to put up Britney for breaking the rules. Alas, we may never know for sure, just like the “Pea-Gate” scandal over at Top Chef. Oh, you haven’t heard about that? Go over and check it out, it’s juicy stuff! But I digress…
People take turns comforting Ragan. Brit jumps in bed with Lane and they are thick as thieves once more, flirting and hoping that they don’t end up on the block against each other. They make jokes about all the alliances they are supposedly in, but Britney’s sly tone implies that yes, she is on to Lane. She may not know the specifics yet, but she can smell it…
Hayden lends Kathy his ear for a minute, worried that she is going to be backdoored this week. Also BB didn’t give her some fish sticks she was promised, or something. I’m so sleeping better knowing that this woman is guarding the streets of Arkansas.
The Brigade tries to meet in various places, doing ab crunches together for cover if anyone walks by or joins them. They are all going to have 8-packs by Thursday, except Enzo who can’t keep up to save his life.
In the night-time small talk department:
More anticipatory competition talk, as vote-counting and discussion of other BB staples that this cast has yet to experience, such as the all-night viewer messages. The Brigade meets again and decides the order of eviction should be Britney, Brendon, Ragan and then Kathy. They also wonder how they would fare in an All-Star season, and wonder if America likes what they’re doing. As the Brigadiers meet in smaller groups, whoever isn’t there becomes the topic of concern, especially Matt. Then again, it’s usually Enzo being the paranoid one no matter who they are talking about.
- Matt’s band Shooting Blanks saw some success while they were together; they’ve toured all over the US.
- Some of his songs have been licensed for TV shows. He owns all the copyrights.
- The band’s work is still available at iTunes and Amazon.
- Enzo reveals he has masturbated in his bed. Apparently this wasn’t the secret he thought it was.
- Lane keeps requesting rapper Tech N9ne for the wake-up music, but it hasn’t happened yet.
- Matt’s not digging the eggplant; he’s wishing there was something else he could snack on.
- Several people talk about the challenges, and how they are rarely what was expected each time; Ragan tells Matt that he’s scared the POV will be a puzzle. He can’t really do puzzles.
- Britney has a big problem with BB’s hospitality: the fish need food but BB still hasn’t coughed up any yet.
- Enzo takes over the big bed, complaining that it still “smells like Rachel”.
- Enzo likes both N.Y. baseball teams but roots for the Yankees more (typical front-running weasel, says this Met fan). He marvels at how much tail Derek Jeter must score.
Finally at around 3AM BBT, the house settles down to sleep. There will be no late-night POV after all. The feeds go to bubbles for what seems like morning wake-up around 8AM, but some of the houseguests continue sleeping without being bugged by BB. Brendon, Britney and Kathy are up first, eating breakfast and making themselves all pretty for the big day. After a DR session and finishing her slop, Britney is ready…to get back into bed. Kathy blow dries her hair and detangles her eyelashes, and also goes back to bed. So much for an early POV. She gets up again around 9:30AM to talk to Brendon in the HoH. Rather, she goes up to tattle on the rest of the house. She has a funny feeling, because nobody downstairs (other than pee-pants Ragan) seems too nervous or concerned about going home this week. Her deputy skills have kicked in, and she smells something fishy (and it ain’t the fish sticks she still hasn’t received). Those shifty Have-Nots need to be dealt some justice! After making Brendon go “hmmm…” she slips back downstairs to lay in bed and stare at her sock monkey. Kathy: Mission Accomplished
Britney makes her way up to the HoH. The previously rattled Brendon is back to spouting his philosophy of fighters deserving to win more. He believes if Lane or Ragan are going to win, he wanted to make sure they’ve earned it. Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Mr. My Real Noms Got Shot Down By BB Thanks To My Big Mouth. They seem to be sliding into a potential relationship (they don’t want to call it an alliance yet, oh no), and even talk of including fellow warrior Matt, but the only big hurdle to things going smoothly for them is if Ragan wins POV.
It’s about 10:30AM at this point, and soon the feeds go to trivia for the POV competition, and stay that way through the end of this shift. Be sure to read the next recap as seen through TheIrishEyes.
As for the Alliance Wheel: I think I'm going to have to turn it into a 3-D ring ladder, thanks to all the side and fake alliances, but I’ll do my best:
Thanks to TheIrishEyes for continued capping brilliance!