Hello Big Brother fans!! It is the point in the summer we've all been waiting for! Big Brother is back! I don't know about you, but for the past few weeks I've been more excited than Jen in a unitard. Will I like this season's houseguests? Will the Chenbot be all oiled up and ready to roll? Will toolbag Jessie come back... AGAIN? I hope, I hope, and I hope not. I know Jeff and Jordan gave everyone the puppies and kittens warm and fuzzies last season, so my hopes are high that I'll find someone else to love as much as the rainbows and unicorns that were Jeff and Jordan. Enough with my rambling, let's meet our Season 12 hamsters!
The Chenbot's Bitches
The show begins with the Chenbot herself doing her little into thing. This season, there is a twist unlike all others... the saboteur!! One houseguest is playing a completely different game. Their job is to wreak havoc. Hmm... I think we had this twist in Season 8 and it was called America's Player. Oh well. Maybe an amped up former twist will be interesting. We'll see.
Here are the people we'll hate to love and love to hate this season:
Andrew, 39; Miami Beach, FL ; podiatrist and practicing modern Orthodox Jew
Britney, 22; Huntingdon, AR; hotel sales manager and recently engaged
Hayden, 24; Tempe, AZ; college student
Rachel, 26; Las Vegas, NV; chemist and cocktail waitress
Kathy, 40; Texarkana, AZ; deputy sheriff
Monet, 24; Glen Carbon, IL; model
Matt, 32; Elgin, IL; Mensa member and web designer
Annie, 27; Tampa, FL; bisexual and bartender
Lane, 24; Decatur; TX; oil rig salesman
Enzo, 32; Bayonne; NJ; insurance adjustor
Enzo loves Jersey, meatballs, and his mama. Cute.
Brendon, 30; Riverside, CA; swim coach
Kristen, 24; Philadelphia, PA; boutique manager
Ragan,34; West Hollywood, CA; college professor and gay
The first four people to enter the house are Britney, Ragan, Brendon, and Rachel. They scream and jump around and silicon bounces everywhere. The next group is Lane, Annie, Enzo, Kathy, and Andrew. More jumping and screaming ensues. The last group to enter is Monet, Hayden, Kristen, and Matt. There aren't enough beds for everyone, although Monet about plows everyone over looking for one.
Hi, Want To Be BFFs? Okay!
Everyone gathers in the living room for introductions. Hayden thinks Kristen is hot. Although Matt doesn't tell the other HGs, he brags in the DR that he is a certified genius. Rachel giggles and laughs like an airhead. Ragan admits in the DR he wants to form an alliance with Brendon and if it just happens that Brendon is gay too... well, score! Kristen also thinks Hayden is cute. Rachel says that Andrew really sticks out to her because he is Jewish and wears a “Yom Kippur”. Hmm... I wonder if Matt can get this girl an application to Mensa.
Andrew doesn't want to tell everyone he's a doctor, so he makes up a story that he was a day trader and lost his job, so he became a shoe salesman. Hmm.. he's a shady one. Saboteur material possibly? Ragan also lies about his job. He says he is a graduate student instead of a professor. He also borrowed his deep v-neck t-shirt from Dustin a few seasons back. Britney knew the second that Ragan opened his mouth that he was a flaming homo and they would be BFFs because those are her people. That made me chuckle. I actually kind of like Britney already.
One Of These People Is Not Like The Other
Julie calls everyone to the living room to reveal the saboteur twist already. Hmm, okay. I'm not sure how I feel about revealing the twist already. She says that one person among them isn't there to win. One person will wreak havoc in the house and sabotage a person, a group, or even the entire house. That person will be eligible for HoH, but won't be eligible for the grand prize. This person has to make it to the halfway point of the season. If he/she completes 5 weeks of sabotage, he/she will collect $50,000. If this person is evicted before the first 5 weeks are over, that person walks out of the house with nothing. A scary saboteur video comes on with a black figure sitting in the DR and a crazy robot voice. The saboteur warns everyone to throw their current game plans out because with a saboteur in the house, can anyone be trusted? Rachel giggles and Hayden grunts and scratches himself. Okay, not really, but that's what I expected.
Let's Hope It's Kosher!
Matt, Kathy, and Brendon continue to discuss the saboteur twist when the Chenbot comes on the screen and announces it's time for the first HoH competition of the season. The houseguests need to divide themselves into groups of 6, with one person sitting out and acting as a mascot. The mascot cannot win HoH. Andrew instantly volunteers to sit out, which makes Enzo suspicious.
The HoH teams look like this:
Yellow: Annie, Rachel, Brendon, Kathy, Ragan, Enzo
Red: Lane, Britney, Monet, Hayden, Kristen, Matt
The competing members will get to wear colored shirts and shorts while Andrew gets stuck with a hot dog costume. He's a nice looking wiener!
The backyard looks like a BBQ grill, with big wieners and flames and ketchup and mustard.
Rachel: I definitely want to jump on those big wieners *giggle*
Julie Chen announces that since Andrew volunteered to be the mascot and thus unable to compete for HoH, he will be safe from eviction this week. I think there's a little bit of a case being built here for Andrew being the saboteur.
When Julie Chen says “go”, a member from each team will jump off of their team's platform and grab onto a giant floating hot dog. The other members of the team have to use a pulley system to pull the hanging member to the finish line. The first team to get all of the members across the grill and to the finish line will win. If a person falls, they must start again. The first person on the winning team to cross the finish line will receive $10,000, the second will receive $1,000, third $100, fourth $10, fifth $1, and the last person on the winning team to cross the finish line will be HoH. This will really make the houseguests think about who wants to go first and who wants to be the HoH.
Kristen goes first for her team, but falls off. For the Yellow Team, Annie makes it over first and for the Red Team, Monet makes it over first. This is a rather entertaining competition. It's like watching one of those Japanese game shows. The wieners are covered with ketchup and mustard, so they appear to be very slippery. The girls just can't seem to handle these large wieners because they keep falling off. Rachel takes off her shirt to wipe off the wiener. Yeah, like that was necessary. Hayden decides he is going to boost the girls way high up so they can hold onto the strap instead of the slippery hot dog. Britney falls for the 100th time, and this time is appears she hurt her knee. Kathy goes to check on her because Andrew still hasn't admitted he's a doctor.
The BB medic comes out and recommends that Britney not continue with the competition. Meanwhile, smarmy (not smarmy dazzle like Dr. Will, just toolbag smarmy) Matt the Genius makes a deal with Hayden. If Matt lets Hayden go over last, Hayden will ensure Matt's safety this week. Britney has to switch places with a player from her team that has already crossed over.
Britney: I lost my dignity on a slippery wiener.
The Yellow Team gets to pick the person and they pick Kristen. There are still 3 people left on each side and the game begins again.
The rest of the
wienerswinners shake out like this:
Yellow: Annie-1st, Ragan-2nd, Brendon-3rd,
Red: Monet-1st, Lane-2nd, Kristen-3rd, Kristen again-4th, Matt-5th, Hayden-6th
Since Red won, Hayden is the new HoH and Monet wins $10,000. Annie worries that the battle lines have already been drawn down the Yellow/Red line. She is worried that she or someone from the Yellow Team will be nominated this week.
Sabotage Me, Baby
America is allowed to give suggestions for
America's PlayerThe Saboteur this season. We give ideas and the mystery houseguest will pick one each week to execute. Go to CBS.com if you want to play this naughty little game.
This week, the saboteur is on his/her own. Can I say saboteur another time? Saboteur! To get things going, Julie cuts the lights in the BB house. Brendon thinks this is a sign that it's time to go to bed, so he goes to get his toothbrush and toothpaste. Awww, me likey Brendon. He seems so sweet and innocent... he isn't bad to look at either! Am I right ladies? Andrew, who I am beginning to get annoyed with already, thinks it's the perfect time to play some pranks. That won't make anyone suspicious, will it? Who can blame the guy for being socially awkward? He does look at feet all day. The lights come back on and they all yell at Andrew for making noises and scaring them.
The scary saboteur voice and image come back on the living room screen. Apparently, while the lights were out, the saboteur put a lock on the storage room door. I honestly think a production person did it, but whatever. How would one of the players been able to obtain a padlock and then put it on the storage room door in the dark? It looks like the players are on slop until the food is unlocked!
Just a reminder that the shows will be airing on Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday this summer. Sundays will be the nominations, Wednesdays will be the veto, and Thursdays will be the live evictions and HoH competitions.
The Chenbot will reveal the identity of the saboteur to us next Thursday during the live eviction show. I know who it is! Rachel's boobs! They certainly deserve their own zip code, don't they?
Well, one episode of BB down, a million more to go! I believe I already have little fangirly crushes on Brendon and Hayden. I think I might like Annie and Britney too. This could all change by Sunday night's episode. Ahhh, the roller coaster ride that is BB. Until next time!!