The leaves are staring to turn colors. The geese are flying South. Kids are back in school. And it’s Big Brother finale time – all signs of Fall.
Julie introduces the finale in some maternity robe-like garment. It isn’t one of my favorites from this season – reminds me of a table cloth. She reminds us that Kevin and Jordan won the first two rounds of the final HOH contest. We check in on the houseguests and see Kevin promise Natalie that he’ll take her to the final two. Then Natalie gets called into the Diary Room, and while she’s out of the room, Kevin promises his final two pick to Jordan in exchange for her promise to take him as well.
Later we see Natalie doing her fantastic suck-up job on Jordan, wanting to be BFFs with her outside of the house even though she never bothered to be friend with her for the 3 months that they were locked up in the same house with nothing but time. Jordan wasn’t really falling her for belated best friends routine, but tells us that she’s still going to take Natalie to the end, thinking that Kevin has more jury support than Natalie at this point. Hey wait, I thought only Kevin and Natalie were allowed to lie and scheme. Way to go, Jordan. Looks like she is playing the game too, and just in time.
We get to see what is going on at the jury house. Jeff is chilling in the pool. Everyone is getting along pretty well. Jeff wants to see Kevin come into the jury house next. Jessie and Lydia think it will be Michele. Russell hopes it isn’t Michele because he wants her to win. As if on cue, Michele walks in. Jessie cheers for himself for being a genius. Lydia fawns over him for no reason.
Michele brings in the videotape, and they show Natalie winning HOH and prancing around in her robe and inflatable crown. Someone thinks she’s trying to look like Flava Flav. Jeff says “Natalie gets no vote from me just for that outfit.” Michele tells them that Natalie’s boyfriend proposed to her as part of Pandora’s Box and then she tried to lie about it, until that lie blew up in her face and she had to come clean. Lydia tells Michele that Natalie is really 24, not 18. Everyone declares NataLIE a liar, liar with flaming pants. Michele was a little surprised, but already knew that Natalie was not a straight shooter.
The jury is then gathered outside to talk about who to vote for from the final three. Lydia hates Jordan and for some reason tries to convince Jeff that he shouldn’t vote for her. Lydia explains Kevin’s brilliant strategy of being nice to everyone’s face, but scheming behind the scenes. Jeff points out that backstabbing strategy isn’t really popular with everyone. Jeff and Lydia argue whether Jordan or Kevin are more worthy, and Jeff acknowledges that they’re not going to agree with each other. For one of my favorite Jeffisms of the season, he gifts us with: “It’s like talking to a road cone.” True that.
Lydia claims that Jordan was Jeff’s puppet the whole season, and then Jeff points to Jessie’s marionette strings still coming off Lydia. And then the conversation approaches Jessie putting his hand somewhere in proximity to Lydia, and Jessie chimes in “I’m right here, dude!” It’s not really going well. Let’s just say they agree to disagree, but no-one is really pulling for Natalie.
We see the final HOH contest between Kevin and Jordan. Like most seasons, it is a trivia contests about the jury members, asking how they would complete different statements. They change leads a couple of times, and end up tied. The tie-breaker question is how many votes to evict were cast all year (including tie-breakers). My hubby quickly calculates about 50, which is Jordan’s answer. Kevin’s answer is 80. The real answer was 51, and Jordan became the final HOH. Kevin just blew it. Bummer, dude.
Jordan now gets to evict someone and pick who she wants to be against in the finals. Natalie tries once again to play the friend card, and tells her that she’ll be indebted to her if she keeps her around. Kevin claims that he was always looking out for her, calls her Gucci, and says OMG, vote for me. Jordan says the word “one-of-y’all” about six times in her eviction speech. I’m guessing that “one-of-y’all” is the singular version of “all-of-y’all” but I’m no Southern linguist. She tells Kevin that she’s very sorry, reminds him that he’s already won $10,000, but that she needs to go with her gut, and evicts him. Natalie then thanks her newest BFF forever and ever, or until they get out of the house.
Kevin is a little disoriented and isn’t sure whether he’s supposed to leave right now or not. Jordan apologizes for evicting him, but Kevin says he understands and leaves with a lot of class. Julie interviews him, and he’s still classy. He played a good game, had a very unstated but always scheming strategy. Kevin listened to hours more mourning for Jessie’s departure than any man should have to bear in order to forward his game. I would have been happy to see Kevin win, but now I’m pulling for Jordan. In his interview with Julie, Kevin acknowledged that Jordan made a good strategic move by getting him out. We see the farewell speeches and Kevin gets to see that Jordan had every intention of voting him out as a strategic move, so Jordan may have just gained a vote if Kevin can see past the betrayal and evaluate game-play.
The Jury is leaving the Sequester House and enters the studio. Everyone gets cheers, but none more than Jeff. They all look nice, and I always think Michele looks good, but she is wearing a dress that is entirely too short for wearing while sitting on a chair for a tv show. Julie asks Jeff who he thinks is the final juror. Jeff predicts Kevin, perhaps more of a wish than a prediction, but accurate none the less. Lydia hopes that it is Natalie, and is angry when she sees that it is Kevin, proclaiming that now it is only “two bitches” left in the house. Wow, Lydia, bitter much? I’m looking around and the biggest bitch I see is sitting in the jury, right between Jessie and Russell.
The jurors get to question the final two, and have 3 questions for each of them.
• Russell asks Jordan what was her pre-house strategy. Her strategy was to lay low and not trust people. It changed when she met people and thought she could trust everyone, but then realized she needed to just be herself.
• Lydia asks Natalie who was her biggest threat and how did she play a role in her eviction. Lydia gets the answer she wants when Natalie answers that it was you (Lydia), and that she wanted her out to have her ally Jessie to herself.
• Jeff asks Jordan what was her best move in the game. She answers it was getting rid of Kevin, because so many people would vote for Kevin.
• Michele asks Natalie (and points out that she is 18, according to her) why it was important for people to know that she’s engaged. Natalie answers because she has real friends on the jury (besides Michele, Jeff and Jordan, whom she can’t stand), and wanted them to know her good news. She doesn’t address the lie about her age.
• Jessie asks Jordan why she deserves to win over Natalie. Jordan says that people underestimated her, she won the two final rounds in the final HOH against Natalie and Kevin and did that by herself. The live finale crowd cheers for that.
• Russell asks Natalie why she deserves to win. She says her strategy was to align herself with strong players, Jessie, Ronnie and Chima. She claims undying loyalty to them, and the crowd laughs.
• Kevin asks Jordan what she’s done better than Natalie. She answers that she won challenges when needed and made strategic moves.
Final speech time – Jordan has to go first, and does a great “awe shucks” job, points out that her main alliance was Jeff and Michele and that she played under the radar to keep the target off her back. Jordan says that her final HOH victories showed that she was a tougher player than people gave her credit for while Jeff was in the game.
In her final speech, Natalie didn’t feel that she needed to win anything to cruise by in her strategy, and claims again her undying loyalty and acts of vengeance for Chima, Jessie and Ronnie. Of course Natalie doesn’t acknowledge that neither Chima nor Ronnie is on the jury, so their opinions don’t mean a whole heck of a lot at this point.
The jury votes, and makes some bizarre comments to the final two in the process. Jeff is uncharacteristically straightforward and congratulates Jordan for making it to the end. Julie casts America’s Vote which may be a tie-breaker.
Braden, Laura, Ronnie and Casey join us next. Now that the votes are locked in, they show up to tell the jury things that haven’t been seen in the jury house videos. Ronnie is wearing his lovely “square root of all evil” t-shirt. Julie wants to figure out what Ronnie learned on tv. Ronnie tells Jordan that Natalie is really 24, not 18. Jordan looks shocked, but so does Kevin, whom I recall didn’t really think she was 18 on premier night.
Casey reveals that Jeff was duped when he believed Natalie and Kevin and got rid of Russell. Julie asks if Jeff is mad at Kevin or Natalie, but Jeff is cool and not mad at anyone. He’s an adult who understands that this is a game. Unlike Ronnie who is still pissed about being out-smarted and just mad in general.
Braden gives Jessie props for having the ladies fighting over who gets to be in his bed. Jessie looks a little defensive and doesn’t really take it as a compliment. Maybe he doesn’t want his boyfriend, er, um, significant other back home to realize what was going on in a house full of cameras. You’d think the second time around he’d know that the cameras see all. Lydia dodges a question about whether the hanky panky continued in the jury house, but her less-than-coy response tells us all we need to know.
Laura calls out Chima for her punk-ass move in quitting the game and leaving her alliance in the lurch. And that is all the air-time that Quitter McQuittenstein gets for this finale.
Ronnie gets called out for his bitchy comments about Michele at his eviction. Michele gives him a pass, calling it a melodramatic moment. Ronnie’s wife must have made him apologize, apparently, as he does so, but not very convincingly.
Julie calls Jessie out on his relationship with Lydia and how Jessie classified it as “platonic.” Jessie acknowledged that it wasn’t exactly platonic. Russell looks surprised to see that was going on in the house, wonders where he was, and thinks he must have been off yelling at someone at the time. Russell gets a laugh. At least he has a sense of humor about it now, but I really disliked his “bordering on ‘roid rage’” aggressive stance in the house.
Julie asks Jeff where his romance with Jordan stands after the show ends. Jeff says coyly, “Let’s see if she wins first.” The crowd laughs. Julie presses again, and Jeff says they need to see what happens outside of the house, and Jordan agrees. Jeff wouldn’t even commit to taking Jordan on his trip to Hawaii, but says she’s on the “short list.” If Jeff is making a list of short people, he can put me on it. I’d love a trip to Hawaii. I’m sure my hubby wouldn’t mind. Or, maybe he should stick with Jordan.
America’s Vote went to Jordan.
• Jessie’s vote was for Jordan. This was a little bit of a surprise that he didn’t stick with Natalie. Maybe he wasn’t buying her act any more.
• Lydia vote was for Jordan. Not a surprise, as Natalie was her rival for Jessie’s attention, even though Natalie was days from getting engaged apparently.
• Russell voted for Natalie. Maybe he’s still feeling the sting of Jeff’s betrayal, because I don’t think this vote was for Natalie’s undying loyalty to other people.
• Jeff’s vote was for Jordan. No surprise at all, and this is enough for the win.
Julie announces that Jordan is the winner, and they exit the house. She sees her family and gets a confetti shower. Jordan says she’s going to put down a down payment for a house for her mom, herself and her brother, some money for her aunt and uncle who are paying for college for kids, and maybe buy a car. Yup, that should pretty much take care of $500,000 after taxes. Don’t be a Richard Hatch, Jordan, you need to pay taxes on your winnings.
When they come back from the break, Julie announces the final two votes.
• Michele’s vote – Jordan – Not a surprise. She was no fan of NataLIE.
• Kevin’s vote – Natalie – I guess he was still bitter about Jordan not taking him, even though he had no intention to keep Natalie himself.
Finally Julie announces a prize vote for the most popular houseguest – Julie says it wasn’t even close. Jeff won the prize from favorite houseguest and some monetary prize, but I’m not sure what it is. Julie pimps her interviews with Jeff and Jordan tomorrow on the CBS Early Show. Well, that’s a wrap for this season. Don’t forget to cancel your live feed service or they will keep billing you, feed watchers.