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Thread: Big Brother 11 8/30 recap: What, he lied? I am shocked.

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    what are you watching? iguanachocolate's Avatar
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    Big Brother 11 8/30 recap: What, he lied? I am shocked.

    Hello dear readers! Tis I, iguanachocolate, here to bring you all the latest in hamster happenings. Except that hamsters are lot nicer than these people. And hamsters eat their own. That’s all I am saying. If you missed out on all the doings eviction night, read MsFroggy’s most excellent recap here.

    The show begins with the HoH comp still going on. The rodent’s objective was to carry ‘hot chocolate’ in little tin cups that had a hole in the bottom across a slippery ‘graham cracker’ path and dump the fluid into a big bowl. The first one to fill their bowl enough so that they can float their ping pong ball marshmallow up high enough that they can reach in and pull it out thereby earning them the all important HoH key. Much hilarity ensues as we are treated to a montage of falls by the four participating houseguests: Natalie, Jordan, Michele, and Kevin.

    While the hamsters continue their journeys, we are treated to a flashback of their views on Russell’s eviction. Natalie and Kevin are giddy with joy that their lies worked and they got Jeff to do the dirty work for them. Of course, those lies assured Jeff that he would not be the target if either of them won the HoH this week, and that was the biggest lie of all. Jeff bought it hook line and sinker and did get Russell evicted but says he has more respect for Russell given the classy way he went out. Jordan says she is glad Russell is gone and calls him an ‘awful person’.

    Meanwhile, back in the competition, Kevin has discovered the key to this comp is rhythm and says that his normally flighty little walk is serving him well. And it must be true because he is out to a good lead on his competitors. Natalie sees this and just decides to throw the competition. She is ever so subtle about it at one point throwing her cup and pretending to not be able to find it and then by dropping it into the hot chocolate bucket and saying her arms are too short to fish it out. Kevin is not amused as he was under the impression that they were both in it to win it. Oh, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Natalie is only in it for herself, whoever she has to screw over. Let’s hope you realize that before it’s too late. Finally, Kevin wins the HoH and Natalie is over the moon with the power. Michele puts on a brave face but realizes her days are probably numbered. Kevin loves his power and in the DR puts Michele, Jeff and Jordan on notice saying that none of them are safe.

    Not even waiting until Kevin gets his new digs, Natalie begins in on him about who he is going to nominate. Kevin thinks Jeff is a huge threat and has had success at different types of comps but Natalie says that Michele is really smart and would be good at the brain teasers. Kevin feels his target for this week should be Michele or Jeff.

    While they are plotting the downfalls of their fellow houseguests, one little hamster is off by herself indulging in a little crying fit. She is distraught that she was not able to win the HoH and feels all alone in the house. She tells herself over and over that it is just a game, just a $%&@ing game. But she is still a very upset hamster.

    She’s all smiles when Kevin gets his HoH key, though. The hammies ooh and ahh over Kevin’s hot (if you go for the swarthy type) boyfriend saying he looks like Enrique Iglesias. Kevin complains in the DR that they were lovin’ on his man, but after nine years of being together I really doubt he is too worried about these twits. Maybe Jeff, but surely not the girls. Kevin cries when he reads his missive from Alfonso saying he had never cried happy tears before.

    In the backyard, Jordon is talking about her family. She says they are close and she would have happily lived with her mom, sister and brother until she got married, but she is living in a small place with her mom after their family home was foreclosed on. She says that you don’t realize how good it is until it’s taken away. Jeff loves how close Jordan is to her family, but let’s face it, at this point Jordan could say she is into devil worship and Jeff would still be loving her.

    Later on inside, Natalie tells Jordan over and over again how much she wants Michele out of the house this week. Natalie tells the DR later that it is all strategy so that when Kevin puts up Jeff later on, her hands will be clean of the blood of his eviction. Oh, you wily little scheming pit bull. Someday your day will come. Of course, that may not be until you walk out of the house $500,000 richer, but mark my words, it will come. Jordan tells all of this later on to Jeff, but the naïve idiot says never fear, he has a deal with Kevin. Remind me to call Jeff with this great real estate deal I have for him involving a bridge….

    Braniac Jordan is in the kitchen debating whether the piece of fruit she is eating is really a peach or a nectarine. What she describes is a nectarine, but she insists it tastes like a peach and has a pit therefore it is a peach. Her fellow houseguests try to tell her it is a nectarine, but girlfriend isn’t having any of it. Stay tuned, I am sure there will be more to peach-gate. In the back yard, Natalie is being terrorized by a dragonfly who surely must not appreciate her lying scheming sometimes bordering on cruel gameplay. She screams like a cat in heat and it is the single most funniest thing I have seen in a long time. I want her screaming and flailing as a screen saver.

    Kevin talks to Michele about nominations and Michele says that whatever Kevin decides is fine with her. Natalie has to interrupt and tell Michele that she is not just playing for herself like she is claiming, but that it is Natalie and Kevin against the three of them. She claims that if Michele had gotten HoH, she and Kevin would have been on the block. Michele retorts that may not have been necessarily true. Natalie goes into a long winded and cruel rant about how she wants Michele out this week and that Michele is basically the devil incarnate (hello Ms. Pot, you’re calling the kettle what?). In the DR, Natalie says that was all for show because she wants Jeff and Jordan to think that she won’t be coming after them if she wins HoH. Yeah, like that’s going to happen. Because Natalie has been on such a winning streak. She’s won how many comps now? Oh yeah. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

    In the Red room, Jeff and Kevin agree that Michele can’t be trusted (all based on lies told by Ronnie, Natalie and Kevin himself). Kevin says it is cleared Michele is not liked and she is a threat so he would not be getting his hands dirty if he got her out this week.

    Sensing her demise, Michele goes to discuss game with Kevin up in the HoH room. She makes little of her alliance with Jeff and Jordan telling Kevin that they never tell her anything. She says again that she is in the game by herself now. Not to be outdone, Jeff and Jordan go to make their plea by throwing Michele under yet another bus telling him that Michele will be coming after him next week if she is not gotten out. Jordan leaves and Jeff wants to know from Kevin if their deal is still in place. Kevin gently tells him that he is a fool and of course he is going up and Jeff will have to save himself with the Veto. Not only that, but if Michele wins veto, he is not putting Natalie up on the block, it will be Jordan. Jeff reminds Kevin to no avail that he threw over a sure thing final four to work with him. Kevin pretends to think about the situation, but personally, I think he is just playing for the cameras.

    Finally, in the most anticipation filled nom ceremony ever – not – Kevin puts up Jeff and Michele. He gives his reasons as the self-proclaimed uber lamed ‘you’re such strong competitors’ crap. Michele is not surprised and knows she has to depend on herself. Jordan is upset because her game would be nothing without her BFF Jeff there. Jeff feels Kevin showed his true colors when he broke their deal.

    And that’s all folks. Stay tuned for Tuesdays show when we find out who wins the POV and this week’s game really begins. See you then!
    Last edited by iguanachocolate; 09-02-2009 at 06:40 PM.
    A good book should leave you... slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading it. ~William Styron, interview, Writers at Work, 1958

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