Hello dear readers! Tis I, iguanachocolate, here to bring you all the hamster happenings in this a new dawn of the Jessie free house! Can I get a hallelujah?! Say it with me: Hallelujah! What’s in store for our dear little rodents with Michele in control? Come along with me and we’ll find out!
Jordan says she was in complete shock when Jeff stood up. She says thank you to America for putting the power into the right pair of hands. Russell says he was speechless when he found himself coming off the block. Chima is not a happy camper and lets us know that she may have looked prim and proper, but she was boiling on the inside. No, really? A bit miffed were you? Good. Jeff tells us his number one goal was evicting Jessie and putting up his little side kick pit bull Natalie just ensured that goal.
We get to see a bit of the conversation post Coup d’Etat and pre-vote. Chima tells Jeff he is being power hungry – hello pot, meet kettle – and that he made a deal with the devil. Natalie says he isn’t leaving with his loyalty and I have to wonder what meds are they on that they think Jeff would not have used this power after he has seen his friends evicted week after week by this crew? Chima says he totally usurped her power and that the target is now off of Russell and squarely on Jeff. Jeff says that he would have been out sixth, and now he has a shot at $500,000.
Natalie sobs in the diary room and wants to know why the game rewards the ugly and punishes the good. Well, that is what we, the viewing audience, have been wondering for weeks now. Chima says it hurts to see him leave and it is like a family member dying and wants to know why Russell gets to stay in the game when he hasn’t been kissing her butt like the rest of her alliance. Well, not the exact words she used, but pretty much that is her beef with Russell. Kevin is not having any of the pity power and says Jessie is an egomaniac and he is happy to see him go.
Lydia cries in Chima’s arms and didn’t want to give him a hug goodbye because that would have made it real. She tells us that Jessie didn’t get in her head, he got into her heart. And she got into his pants. Allegedly. Chima lays into Jeff again and Jeff reiterates it’s a game. Natalie says he is not being loyal and Chima says he told her he would vote Russell out. Jeff says he didn’t vote, so he did not break his word.
Michele is thrilled that she is the Head of Household and has been waiting for this moment since she has been in the house. Chima was happy and distraught at this because she thought she had Russell out the door and she is hoping Michele will come through for them. Russell says he will need to make amends with Michele if he wants to stay in the house. Kevin says Michele winning is the ‘most biggest question mark’ because who knows what is going through her head?
Michele is impressed that Jeff made such a big game move and poor little Jordan says she was so fooled. Jeff says Jessie was walking straight towards the final four, so he thinks he has opened the door for everyone in the whole house, so they shouldn’t bash him. Russell says that Chima will be coming after Jeff now. Jeff says they can have their pity party, but they are just pissed because they don’t run the whole house anymore.
Natalie is worried about who will go up on the chopping block and Chima is annoyed that the people who were calling Michele crazy (read Russell) are kissing up to her and have her ear. Chima believes in karma and says she will win HoH next week and she will put Russell up and keep putting him up until he is gone. Natalie says to pitch Russell as a nominee to Michele.
Michele’s HoH room opens up and the Jessieheads are all over praising Michele and her husband and claiming her stuffed rats are so cute. Jeff sees it for what it is and says they are just kissing up. Michele’s husband wrote her a very sweet letter and Michele cries.
Jeff and Russell discuss that Chima will be pushing for them to go up. Russell tells Jeff that if they are both on the block and he wins the PoV, he will give it to Jeff. He gives his word. Yeah, right. Jeff isn’t particularly worried and stays calm, but Russell worries that Michele is hard to read and her decision is really a crap shoot. He makes his way up to see Michele in the HoH room and apologizes and they work to resolve their differences. They hug it out, but Michele tells us she will be keeping her eye on him because Russell is still a sneaky snake.
Oh. My. God. There is a wake going on in the kitchen for Jessie. His three witches are all sitting at the kitchen table swilling his bottle of wine he left and making ridiculous toasts to the tool as if he had indeed left this Earth for the great Tool box in the sky. They cry and wail and stop just short of ripping their clothing as Kevin sits with them not really believing he is witnessing this . He wants to know why Lydia doesn’t remember that not only did Jessie put her up during the first week, but that in a later eviction didn’t even vote for her to stay. Chima seems to have forgotten that he put her up that first week as well. Chima says that Jessie never spoke ill of anyone else. I gag. Lydia claims he prayed for all of them every day. I gag some more. Out on the back patio, Jeff wants to know if he turned water into wine. Whine is more like it, Jeff. I loved the overly dramatic sorrowful music Big Brother uses to underscore this nonsense.
The Have Not competition this week is an all or nothing deal. The hamsters are divided into 4 teams of two: Jeff and Jordan, Michele and Russell, Lydia and Kevin, and Chima and Natalie. In their pairs, they had to slide down giant slides into pools of muck and then taste some nasty sounding casseroles until they had a match to one of the days of the week or a luxury prize. If they matched for that day or prize, they won food for the day and the prize. Needless to say, some hamsters were happier about participating in this than others, yet they all won the right to eat every day but Monday and a gas grill for the back yard. Kevin was surprised they did so well. I think Natalie and Chima should have to be on slop the entire week.
And here we go folks, the weekly trouping up to the HoH room to plead their case to stay by crying or throwing someone else under the bus. First up, Natalie. Predictably, she suggests Russell to go up. Michele says there is one person she wants to send home and she has two prospective pawns. Natalie says that is fair and that she will do want she wants. Next up is Chima who, surprise of surprises, wants Russell out. Michele says that she won’t like her nominations. “So not Russell?” Chima says. Nope, not Russell. I dance in with glee. Chima tells her she’s been forewarned that Russell will be Michele’s end game. Somehow, I don’t think Michele is worried about that at the moment.
And it is nom time! I wait with baited breath as Michele tells the houseguests she chose her noms for strategic, not personal reasons. Jordan, Jeff, Russell, Kevin and Lydia find out they are safe in that order, which leaves Chima and Natalie on the block. Yes! Michele says she respects Chima as a strong woman and that she is one of the fiercest competitors in the house and she sees her in the final two. Since Michele sees herself in the final two and she doesn’t see Chima taking her, Chima is up. She basically tells Natalie she is a pawn. Predictably, Russell loves the nominations and says karma is a bitch. Natalie says she will now have to prove how strong she is. Chima says she doesn’t care and then lets off some expletives that I am sure her grandma would be proud of.
And that’s it – though the announcer tells us to stay tuned for Tuesday’s show when a houseguest self-destructs and is removed from the game. Any bets on who? See you then!