**This recap covers from noon Wednesday to noon Thursday, BB Time**
A big “Howdeee” from Charlotte North Carolina, home of our beloved Jordan. This is my first recap, so be gentle. The feeds started today with most houseguests getting up around noon (What do you people think this is, a sleep study? Go to bed at Midnight, up at Noon.. boring!). Jeff, Chima and Kevin discuss various things in the kitchen while Jeff prepares his slop. Chima comments that she would not eat the slop if she were a have-not. Jeff says it’s not that bad, like oatmeal. They discuss slop and weight loss. Jeff has lost a few pounds but Michele seems to be the leader in weight loss. Jeff awards her the BB prize for most weight loss. Michele says she gained a lot of weight after the death of her brother. Jordan joins the group and announces that she has gained weight. Chima (like the rude diva she is) chimes in that it’s because of all the cookie dough but Jordan says she hasn’t been eating any, Jeff agrees and praises her with his usual, “Good Job Jooordannn”. The four discuss past HOH comps and wonder which one they will get tomorrow. Jeff hopes its Q&A; he doesn’t want another endurance comp so soon. Lydia joins in and they begin to discuss her wrestling match with Natalie last night. Talk soon falls to Natalie and Jessie. Jordan says that she thinks Natalie’s boyfriend will be upset if he is watching the show (ya think?). They all talk about how Jessie and Natalie will end up together after the show, BB11 reunion will be Jessie & Natalie engaged (stare at the photo below while I go puke). Also, Lydia takes Kevin for a piggy back ride while he spanks her butt. (Kevin enjoys a little reminder of home)
Jessie approaches Jordan trying to smooze her again. He asks if Jeff told her about their talk, Jordan says no. He says he wants to talk to them both together at the same time. He even offers her bacon, the ultimate enticement. (Give it up Meathead.) He then goes to Natalie and starts whining about not being there tomorrow. She screams at him to “f’n stop talking about it, it’s not even fun hanging out anymore; all you do is talk about going home!!” (the sooner the better). Later Jessie goes outside and has a convo with Russ and Jeff. He tells Russell that he doesn’t have the votes to stay, he should campaign. Jeff said he will not put Jordan in a bad position again by going against the house in a vote and losing. Jessie says he will not go after Jeff in the future because the girls are plotting an All Girls finish; Jeff disagrees and says, “Not all the girls are doing that”. Its HOH picture time, can the Diva learn how to use a camera?… never fear, Meathead is Here! Jessie shows Chima how to use the camera and she begins taking photos of everyone. Meathead figures out how to use the timer and takes photos of all the housemates on the couch, minus Russell (He is in the BY, Queen Chima offers to take a photo of him through the sliding door). Natalie urges Jordan to grab Jeff’s package and for Jeff to grab Jordan’s boobs, for the photos of course. Jordan seems to enjoy herself. Wouldn’t you?
It’s another huge DR leak, this time from Michele. She is giving her goodbye message to Lydia, it went something like: “Hope you are not seeing this message Lydia because you are not supposed to go home this week." (BB, you need to get a handle on that stuff.. one day soon you’re gonna broadcast something big-time into the house!) The house mates are excited about an upcoming party for jury members and making it to the half-way point. (Imagining Jessie awaiting me in the Jury house would be all the incentive I needed to win the show). The have-nots can also eat. Jeff tells Jordan, “Get all drunk so you can make bad decisions later… you can say ‘I dunno what I was doing, I was drunk’??” Jordan gets called to the DR and Jeff tells her they will discuss this later, under the covers (homegirl needs to step to that! Oops.. forgot, no Booger in the house). Once the party starts, feeds are blocked for hours. It would have been nice to watch them cut loose. The party was catered and they had pizza. After the party, J&J are in the green room, Jeff promises Jordan he will get her an ipod, no matter what happens. He says if he wins the big prize he will get her something really nice. She asks for Louis Vuitton, Dolce and Gabanna, Gucci, Diamond earrings, etc… She promises if she wins she will buy him season tickets to the Chicago Bears. Upstairs in the HOH Kevin and Chima are discussing her moving out of the HOH room. They also talk about who is going after who, and if something happens and Russ stays, that would be the worst case scenario. (Prepare the dingy Captain; Chima’s boat is about to sink). Kevin says production is nervous about tomorrow’s live show because they have been giving them warnings. Chima said she made lots of threats in the DR. (hence the rumors that the show will not be live. Per another site, audience members have been asked to arrive early, leading me to assume the show will not be live, so anything bad that happens can be edited.) Chima says the order of the next evictions should be Jeff, Jordan, then Michele.
Jordan, Jeff, Russell and Michele are in the pool room talking about music, farts and sex (what else??). The discussion begins with talk about pee holes and whose is bigger, men’s or women’s. Jordan says Jeff has a centipede one, they all laugh. (she meant centimeter sized hole). Jordan asks some sensitive questions about backdoor sex. Michele happily admits she is a lover of the backdoor; it has lots of nerve endings. She goes on to scientifically tell how the backdoor is good. Michele then demonstrates how rats get on all fours, shake their butt and wag their ears for the opposite sex.
Jessie comes into the pool room where Russ and Mich are talking; Jessie accuses Russell of trying to get Michele on his side. Russell accuses Jessie of egging on Ronnie when he started to pour water on Michele. Jessie says he and Mich have never pretended to be friends, Michele agrees. Russ wants to know why Jessie even came into the room. Russ: “You walk around here like your sh*t don’t stink Jessie”. Russ and Jess are both right up in each others faces, literally nose to nose, Michele leaves after telling them to stop fighting. It looks like an epic battle is about to begin, then after a few minutes of making threatening poses and talking smack, Jessie begins to imitate Russ and starts to preach (yes, like a preacher) and the conflict suddenly ends in laughs and high fives. I have no idea why it started and no idea why it ended. That was strange, but entertaining (staged?). Natalie comes in (she was going to protect her man!) but the fight is over.
Jess and Nat leave, discussing how Russ really screwed their alliance by evicting Ronnie. They go to the HOH where Chima, Michele, Kevin and Jordan are already busy having a bash Russ session. (Jordan, listen more, talk less!) They discuss Russ being the one vote for Casey. They all go around and say “I have the magical power” that way its void if any of them hold the power, they conclude Jeff has it, however Jordan says she does not think he does. They want to know the time, so Kevin goes downstairs and shows them the time via the spy screen. Natalie goes downstairs and jokes around in front of the camera, like she is shanking the camera, dancing, shaking her booty, etc.. it was actually entertaining. Tonight has been the most Jessie and Natalie have ever entertained us… sad to see one of them go, NOT.
Looks like an early night as housemates are lying around in the bedrooms; Russell tries to give us an Evil Dick type show from his bed in the pool room. (No one could replace ED). Jeff, Jordan and Michele are in the cold room lying down. Jordan wants to sleep in there with Jeff tonight but he tells her to go get a good nights sleep. Jeff and Jordan are carrying on with the usual sexual innuendo and Michele says, “I like to watch, so go ahead”. (Coo Coo for Coco Coco Puffs?) Jordan and Jeff move to the red room bed for a little while giving us our nightly funnies and sexy commentary under the green light. They make a halfway point resolution; they plan to make more positive changes; stay positive, enjoy every minute, better attitudes, try harder for HOH, not eat a lot of cookie dough, rubbing Jeff’s back more, he'll cook and she'll do the dishes, etc. They make pacts about those changes and the diamond earrings and season tickets; they seal their deals with their pinky swearing, then their smoking secret handshake, Too Cute! Jeff asks how much the diamond earrings will be, Jordan tells him a few grand and Jeff says she is definitely getting some then! Jeff returns to the cold room and discusses his resolutions with Michelle, Jordan can overhear them over the wall and the camera catches her in bed smiling to herself (awww). Jordan asks Lydia to wake her up early so she can go snuggle up with Jeff. ♥
Its morning in the BB house and surprisingly there was little game talk last night, not much campaigning from anyone, no last minute scrambling. Maybe they know that the magic power is coming up and they might not go home. BB wakes the house early for an HOH lockdown with Starbucks coffee, Nat complains this is the earliest she has ever been up on the show; later Russell and Lydia get their suitcases and begin to pack. The housemates are worried that something has happened in the outside world, they discuss an assassination attempt on Obama, 9/11, etc. BREAKING NEWS! Natalie has showered. For you disbelievers, photo below. The rest of the morning is the houseguests getting ready, showering, doing hair and makeup, cleaning the house, etc. Feeds switch to Trivia (CBS Big Brother website announces that feeds are currently down and will return tonight at 6pm PST/9pm EST). On feed 1 we have Chelsia and Missy from RealPlayer taking calls on a 3 hour Housecalls type show, “The Express Buffet” with special call in guests like James from Season 6 and All-Stars, Ronnie and Marcellas. (BB if you think this makes up for a day without feeds, you are so wrong. We wanna see them rumble!!) Ronnie calls in from an amusement park, he talks about his appearance in a student movie as a dancing tampon, I will now leave you with that mental image. Who will be evicted and sent to the jury house? Only Jeff, Chima and Kevin are safe. Tune in tonight and see if Jeff uses the Coup D’Etat!! Ciao!
My Favorite Daily Moments and Quotes:
Chima says people should use Cocaine for weight loss. (Yes, she really said that.)
Jessie tried unsuccessfully to hide from Natalie. (Fatal Attraction anyone? I hope she boils Lydia’s unicorn muhaha)
Chima says she sees Russ going to prison for a violent crime, he is a sociopath. (Weren’t you the cougar trying to pounce on him the night he won HOH? Jilted Diva.)
Natalie clogs the toilet and asks Lydia to fix it. Lydia asks for a kiss in return, Nat refuses, Lydia says “Pretend I’m Jessie”. (Jessie ends up being the one who cleans up after his Pitbull, pooper scooper Jessie?)
Chima switches lights on in the Cold Room and Jeff asks "What are you doing in the ghetto?"
Jordan: “Jeff probably has skid marks in his undies”
Jeff: “Don’t throw me under the sh*t bus Jordan!”
Jordan: “Do my farts gross you out Jeff?”
Jeff: “It’s a fart Jordan; it’s not like Cherry Pie.”
Jordan about Ronnie: “I bet he cries during sex”
Michele: “Wow Jordan, that’s like the lowest blow ever”
Jordan: “Jeff, we need to do something else”
Jeff: “Each other?”
Jordan: “I have more holes than ya’ll”
Jeff: “We got tools to fill those holes”
(Think Jeff is a tad sexually frustrated? lol)
Thanks to JustJuls & TheIrishEyes for some of the screencaps