Hello dear readers! Tis I, iguanachocolate, here to bring you another look into the lives of our furry little house rodents. Thursday was a glorious day as we saw the departure of Chief Rat Ronnie and the crowning of our coup d’etat winner Jeff. Finally, the Force is with us as the ex-Athletes are dealt a blow upon the death grip they have had over the house since the dawn of this game. A bit melodramatic, you say? Sorry, I was just taking a page from the Rat’s handbook. Scene!
Michele is thrilled that Ronnie is gone – she says he is bitter and loves the fact that the “Big Brother Encyclopedia” didn’t even make the Jury house. Me too, Michele! Because now I won’t have to see his weaselly face or hear his nasally whine until the final show. Lydia is upset because she figured out Jessie voted to save Ronnie, not her. Errr, yeah. Because he is using you, Blondie! Wake up and smell the power drink. Jeff is happy that Ronnie is gone and that Russell was true to his word. He thinks the tide is finally going his way. Jessie utters nonsense about Ronnie being a wing man and that revenge will be sweet. Yes, Revenge of America upon you for daring to grace our television screens for another blasted summer, Jessie! A pox upon thee! Kevin dances a happy dance of joy that Ronnie is gone and I join in. Kevin tells Michele that Ronnie is just mad because she was the vote that got him out. The mystery power debate begins. We know that Jeff has it and he tells us he chose not to use it because he knew his target, Ronnie was already being voted out.
Chima is happy she won HoH because that means she, Jessie and Natalie will be safe this week. Think again, oh diva-not. Russell is worried that Chima has the HoH this week and says he will be kissing some ass this week and that his new favorite ass will be Chima. Oh, yuck. Lydia is preparing herself to be nominated again for the third time because Chima’s closest friend is her arch-nemesis, Natalie. In the Diary Room, Jeff says that Chima shouldn’t be too happy about having HoH as he has the real power this week. Jordan tells us they call the power the ‘wizard’ because wizards are, like, magical and all. Obviously shaking in her stanking little pants, Natalie says the power doesn’t have to be used at all. Yeah, because we all know little Miss Power Hungry would never use it, would she? As the holder of the power, Jeff is lovin’ all this talk – he plans on using the power and knows he will use it wisely.
Michele and Lydia are worried they will go up – but Natalie is telling Chima that she doesn’t trust Russell but she thinks they would be safe if he won next week. Chima’s HoH room is revealed with the obligatory baby and family pictures. Her letter is from her mom (who has been sick) and tells her she has a new diagnosis and new treatment and is doing better. She tells her to concentrate on her game and reminds her that Big Brother (and Mom) is watching.
Michele and Chima are talking things over in the HoH room – Natalie and Jessie are in Chima’s ear wanting Russell to stay, but Chima says she has said once, twice, three times a lady to win the game this year. Her thoughts were to put women up, but that would be counterproductive, so why not put up the strongest guy in the house? Especially since none of it will matter anyway, Chima.
Russell is taking his turn to do that kissing of Chima’s ass up in the HoH room. He apologizes to her and says that Michele made him look like a liar, but he didn’t lie. Then he tries to schmooze her with a tender embrace, but I don’t think Miss Thang is buying that.
I know I would be in real trouble if I totally ignored Jeff and Jordan having a tender moment out in the backyard discussing their future…. Oh wait, they are discussing the web making abilities and mating habits of spiders. Oh those wacky kids and their euphemisms now a days.
Chima shares a serious story with the housemates. 10 years ago she was raped by a serial killer. He broke into her house wearing a mask and carrying a gun. She fought and eventually escaped, needing two surgeries on her face. He was caught and put to death. Chima says he experience didn’t destroy her, but it did change her. She wants to use the experience to help other people, which is admirable. Kevin says he has found a new respect for Chima and realizes why she is so strong and Jeff says it is easy to get caught up in the game and not to truly get to know their fellow housemates.
Later on, in the Red room, Jordan lets Jeff know she is worried they are going up on the block. Jeff tells her she is paranoid and I can tell that he is dying to tell her he is the Magical Wizard Man, but he cannot or he would lose his powers. He tells her that Russell is the target, but Jordan thinks Russell and Chima are buddies again, but Jeff doesn’t believe that. Jordan tells him she thinks Michele has the mystery power. Jeff tells her they will be fine.
Hey! The Big Brother doorbell is ringing! In walks Jeremy Piven of Entourage and he is there to pimp his upcoming movie. Jeff says he is in the Top 8 of celebrities that could come into the house. It’s obvious Jeremy doesn’t follow the show because he wants to know who will be the first one to lose it – he picks out Lydia and he isn’t far off. Of course, I think Lydia never had it to lose, the crazy little weirdo. He tells them that it is a luxury comp this week and the winners will get to see his movie coming out and someone will win a big cash prize! Me! Me! Me! Dang. When he leaves, Jessie is sure they’ll be hanging outside of the house. Yeah, Pinhead, he’ll be hanging around his pool and you’ll be cleaning it.
In the backyard, the hamsters find two big station wagons and a foam junkyard. The rodents divide themselves into two teams of four and they have 5 minutes to stuff the cars full of these items worth differing amounts of ‘sales’. They have to fit the items and themselves in the cars by the end time. The winners get to see the flick and have a chance at the $10,000, whilst the losers get slop for the week. If Chima predicts the winner, she gets to see the movie and gets a chance at the cash as well. She chooses the Shirts which are Jordan, Jessie, Natalie and Russell which leaves the Ties as Jeff, Kevin, Lydia and Michele. There is a lot of stuffing of items and people and at the end of the competition it is the shirts who win by a bear. Chima and the rest of them to line up to pick envelopes and it is Russell who wins by a dollar over Natalie and takes the $10,000 right out of her greedy little hands. Love that! Russell contains his excitement because he doesn’t want to make himself even more of a target of eviction than he already is.
Natalie complains to Jessie that he is talking to Lydia too much and tells him he is taking her side over his team. Jessie tries to defend himself but the Pitbull isn’t having any of it and warns him if Lydia puts her up on the block Nat will blame him. She tells him to tell her that the second she screws them over it will be World War 5. Oooooh, I am scared. Not. Jessie wimps out of course and goes back to pay homage to Queen Chima and Natalie.
And finally, it is nom time. Natalie and Jessie are safe of course and they are followed by Kevin, Michele, Jordan and Jeff and it is no surprise that Lydia and Russell are on the block. Lydia says her nom is the Momma Bear protecting her smelly Baby Bear, Nat. Russell is mad, but he intends to win the PoV and secure his own safety, barring that, he plans to kill them with kindness. Jessie is worried about the magical mystery power and Jeff is reveling in his power this week. I am looking forward to Chima’s face when she learns her reign means about as much as the Queen of England’s. Can you say figurehead?
Stay tuned to Tuesday’s show to see who wins PoV and will they use it? Will it matter? For that answer, stay tuned for Thursdays show….