(This recap covers Noon Friday-Noon Sunday, BB time)
It’s Friday, and as usual the houseguests are anticipating the Have/Have Not Competition, and later on Chima’s nominations, all while the mysterious Magical Gryffindor Power of Coupe de Ville hangs over the house like a spectre. Perhaps Mike Boogie’s face will start appearing in windows and mirrors. That would certainly be the scariest thing I could think of…
The big conversation in the HoH that ended yesterday’s super recap by lildago has left Chima to conclude that Russell and Lydia are the two top contenders for eviction. However, Jessie and Natalie are campaigning her to evict Lydia, while everyone else in the known universe is campaigning her to evict Russell (I think she even campaigned herself in the mirror once or twice).
The feeds go to trivia for about an hour, meaning that the Have/Have Not competition is happening…right? Wrong! Apparently, Entourage star and Broadway pariah Jeremy Piven came into the house, to host a luxury competition in addition to the H/HN comp: a screening of his new movie, which I won’t plug because that’s just what The Big Multinational Media Conglomerates would want! You’ll find out on Sunday, mwahahaha. Jeremy made sure to hug all the girls, and probably kept his distance from Jessie and Russell, and maybe hugged it out with fellow Chicagoan Jeff. When the feeds return, Jeff, Jordan and Lydia are discussing the idea of meeting superstar “icons”. Jeff says, “When does anyone get to meet an icon? Someone that is sooo huge, like Prince.” To which Lydia replies, “Mick Jagger? Michael Jackson? Paul McCartney?” Jeff says, Yeah! People like that!” This is interesting, because rumor has it that Lydia’s famous nanny client was McCartney, so she may be having a little fun with herself at the moment. She also claims Jeremy for herself, and practices “Lydia Piven” out loud to see how it sounds. Apparently she isn’t familiar with Piven’s track record with women.
Then, for some reason, Jeff gets grouchy at Lydia while they are discussing if little people could live in the Big Brother House without major modifications. Also for some reason, Lydia diffuses the argument by giving Jeff a shoulder massage. I wonder what she would have done if there was a tent within arm’s reach…
The feeds hop between trivia and fishes a few more times for a couple of hours, and eventually, we return to find out that:
Jeff may be visibly unhappy less about the food than about the prospect of sleeping without Jordan every night this week. How will they navigate this bump in their road, JJ’ers?
- Jessie, Russell, Natalie and Jordan are the Haves, and will watch Jeremy Piven’s new movie up in the makeshift HoH cinema with Chima
- Russell won himself $10,000
- The unfortunate Have-Nots this week are Michele, Kevin, Lydia, and a visibly unhappy Jeff. The eccentric food that America voted for this week is liver and limes.
Upstairs in the HoH, Chima lays down the law to Kevin: Russell must go this week. Kevin simply wants to secure Lydia’s safety, even though Lydia won’t make the trip up to talk to Chima herself. They both agree that a girl should win BB this year (also that Kevin is included with the girls, something everyone in the house does in conversation and that Kevin has decided not to mind). Kevin says he is trying to give Lydia good advice when it comes to dealing with Jessie and Russell, but he can only do so much (subtext: I’ll be ready to lose her when the time comes, wink wink). He makes one final plea for Lydia’s safety, but Chima lays down the law on that too: she’s made her bed, and now she has to stink in it. No safety for her this week, although Russell is still the primary target.
BTW, Lydia has just decided to implement a new strategy: she’s not talking anymore. To anyone. Ever. If she wants something, she will mime it. Now the show censors will have to blur her hands as well as her mouth…
Downstairs, Russell, who now realizes that his alliance no longer has his back, is pressing Jeff to secure an agreement with him and Jordan, in the hopes of picking off his former alliance-mates one by one. Jeff sounds agreeable, but The Love Stump knows that by winning the ten-large in the competition, he probably sealed his fate this week. Jordan and a two-faced Natalie try to cheer him up.
Jessie and Chima chat in the kitchen, saying the same thing: the $10G’s have pretty much guaranteed Russell will have to fight to stay this week. Jessie shares that he was asked in the DR if he thought he would be nominated this week, and he replied that he’s worried more that the Wizard Gizzard Hypno-Toad Wonder-Twin Powers will activate his behind out the door instead. He’s no dummy; after all, he wasn’t just evicted by his housemates last season, he was evicted by America, too. The talk moves up to the HoH with Jordan coming along, who pledges loyalty to Chima (because she isn’t going on the block) and joins in the Russell-bashing.
Meanwhile, out on the patio Russell keeps working Jeff to band together (and even recruit Michele) to target Jessie and Chima. Jeff turns philosophical and asks more questions to deflect having to shake or spit or some other thing that denotes a binding contract between real men. Jeff and Jordan’s next conversation should be interesting…
It’s nearly time for nominations, and sure enough the feeds go to what I believe is PowerPoint-created trivia questions, and when they return, the least surprising nomination ceremony has taken place: Russell and Lydia are on the block. Russell drops the quote of the day:
“I just got nominated by my own team. Let's have a pool party!”
Chima, Jessie and Nat retreat to the HoH, and Russell comes up with hat (or in his case, head) in hand, all contrite and apologetic. “You better keep talking to me.” I would suggest they keep talking to him too, to avoid him bottling up anger and eventually exploding on everyone in a violent rage.
Meanwhile in the Green Room, our resident Romeo & Juliet, the J’s, are hanging out, and Jeff is spinning an interesting scenario where if Russell goes this week and Lydia next week, Jessie and Nat could end up as the Final 2. He brings up Russell wooing him all day, but Jordan recoils: she doesn’t trust Russ, and besides, if they saved him, the rest of the house would target them next week. Perhaps Jeff is just softening the ground here so that Jordan will be prepared for the power shift if/when he uses the Magical Mystery Tour Power on Thursday night.
One thing is for certain, everyone in the house can’t stand that they have to convince Michele to vote with them, but they always make it a priority among their plans to talk to her and win her over. Who’s got the best game plan right now? Hmm…
Jeff finally makes the trip up the spiral staircase to do that which he does not want to do…talk to the HoH. To make things even better, Jessie sits in as Chima’s newly self-appointed pit bull. After some small-talk and forced laughter, Chima asks Jeff to vote Russell out. Jeff doesn’t say yes exactly, but says that he’s “in no position to make enemies.” Jessie decides to get playground-tough and says that Jeff has to vote Russ out, or else they will know that he and Jordan are against them. (Lawd, give me strength) Chima largely ignores this misfired piston; she knows that with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Power looming over her HoH, she has to keep people buttered up for the time being. She thinks Russ should go because he is a backstabber and a rat in his own right. She lets Jeff know that he and Jordan are a cute couple and they should date after the show is over. Then, Jeff gets called to the DR, and after he leaves, Jessie goes ape to Chima, convinced that Jeff has the Wizardy Magic Wanda Sykes Power and that he’s going to leave the house because of America again, just like last year. (You’re damn right, Shrimp-head) Chima and Nat poo-poo the idea, and tell him he’s fine this week. Nat advises him to keep his cool in general this week, or else he might anger the wrong person and get himself booted after all.
Jessie starts telling Chima things to ask Jeff to try to pin him down, and pretty much lays out the plan that Jeff has in his head, that he will take Russell down on Thursday and put Jessie up in his place. Then, Russell will come after Chima with both barrels next week. Chima is getting more irritated by the minute, as she realizes that her entire HoH will have been for nothing. All she gets is “some lotion and a lukewarm shower.” She says if the power gets used, she will launch into another censorable tirade during the live show again, and barricade herself in the DR afterward. (Yes, Chima, do that, it will definitely change the outcome and improve your standing in the house. Sheesh.)
There is a minor skirmish between Lydia and Michele over some third-hand gossip that Jessie told Lydia, but it’s a non-starter and they are fine. Natalie is not fine, however, because this means that Jessie tells Lydia things that Natalie tells him in confidence. Chima is not fine with it either since it involves Lydia, one of her nominees. Jessie tries to talk his way out of it, but the girls have him cornered.
Don’t cry for me, Lower Burbank
Elsewhere in the wee hours, Russell tries to cozy up to Michele since she is (he thinks) a swing vote. He feels bad for the things Ronnie said about her during the live show. But Michele wonders why Russ himself has never apologized to her for the bad things that he has said to her and about her. Russ is waiting for an apology from her for an erectile dysfunction joke she made while he was talking about his motorcycle injuries. They both point fingers at each other for a while longer until Michele angrily walks away from him and up to the HoH. There, she and Chima and Nat reaffirm that all the men (plus Lydia, but not Kevin) need to go. Perhaps Chima’s wish of an all-girl BB house may get put into play sooner than expected…
Chima wanted to bring The Secret as her “bible”, but BB wouldn’t allow it. Expect an email from Oprah, BB. Also, Michele and Chima astutely observe that for some reason, Jeff is walking around this week with his hood up over his head rather than down. Interesting…
Michele leaves the HoH, but the house is in lockdown, so Russell is there waiting for her downstairs, ready to do his patented bully routine on her. They get into some more heated words and name-calling, until Michele goes back up to the HoH. She and Chima and Natalie bond some more, and Chima reiterates how she is going to do some very nasty things on the live show if her power is taken away. Like, FCC-fine nasty. And so goes another night in the BB house.
As BB tries to wake up the chronically unconscious housemates on Saturday, Michele is talking to Jordan in the Pool Room. She is still upset about Russell’s abuse last night, and also upset that Jeff, who walked by the outdoor fight to retire on the hammock, didn’t say anything in her defense when he saw what was going on. (Um, why is that his job?) She’s worried that Jeff has the wrong idea about her, since Russell is obviously trying to drive a wedge between them. Jordan promises to arrange a chat later to smooth things over.
Other than that, most of the houseguests keep going back to bed, or leaving one bed for another. BB wakes them up again, and again.
Lydia sits in the living room, silently sipping coffee. When Chima gets called to the DR, Chima descends the stairs, says hi to Michele in the kitchen, and walks right past Lydia to the DR door without a word. Nice.
Chima returns from the DR with velvet bag in hand, announcing that it’s time to pick the POV players. After a surprisingly short trivia break (considering half the house was still trying to wake up when she called them into the living room), the feeds come back, and the players are Chima, Lydia, Russell, Natalie, Kevin, and Jeff.
While waiting for the POV to being, more than one quiet conversation in the house revolves around the possibility that Jeff is the Wonderful Wizard of Oz Power Holder, and that it means he probably won’t try too hard to win the PoV. At one point, Jeff is called to the DR, and on his way, Russell whispers to him that it was a slap in the face to Jessie that he picked him and not Jessie to play. Apparently, Russell got Houseguest’s Choice, and decided to make a statement in using it, what a shock.
Not a lot else goes on…wait, I’m getting confirmation from the booth…this just in! Natalie finally took a shower! Russell can’t help but comment on it, which endears Natalie to him all the more. Way to go, slick.
Apparently all the PoV players were called to the DR, to choose balls to decide the order in which they go outside for the competition. Natalie thinks it will be an eating comp, and that she won’t do well if it is, because her stomach doesn’t like it when it’s forced to accept food. Mmmkay.
At this point, my recap shift would usually end, but since no one is covering Saturday, and since this recap is so late in arriving *ahem*, let me fill you in on the day’s events:
That’s about it for Saturday. Sunday morning, there was sunbathing, oversleeping, and more experimental cooking from Lydia. Russell did have an interesting conversation with Lydia, trying to get her to stop being so loyal to Jessie and Kevin, since they are only using her to get further in the game. He thinks she should do the same right back at them. Lydia shares her theory that he, Russell, has the Loop-de-Loop Gnip-Gnop Power, and will save himself on Thursday. She thinks giving it to the villain is something America would do. (She doesn’t realize that when America told Eric to keep Dick over Dustin, they weren’t voting for Dick; they were voting against Dustin, who had become insufferable by that point in the BB8 season). Let’s check in with the Alliance Wheel to see how it has been spun this week:
- The PoV took a little under 2 hours. Kevin won!
- Eggs were involved in the competition, requiring people to shower after it was over. For you Jeff stalkers (oy vey), go to RealPlayer’s FlashBack tool and search for Saturday, 2PM, Cam 3 to get shots of him in his damp briefs after showering.
- Kevin, Lydia and Chima met in the HoH. Chima assured Lydia that her one goal this week is to get Russell out. They are all in agreement on this. Chima flirted with the idea of replacing Lydia with Jordan, which would force Jeff to use the Magical Mummenchanz Power if in fact he has it. Kevin’s primary concern is that Lydia stays, and not much beyond that.
- Jessie tried to make up with Natalie over their argument, but she shut him down.
- Kevin has another meeting with Chima. He is convinced that Jeff is the Coo-Coo-Ka-Choo de Tots Power holder, and that he will take down Russell and Lydia, and replace them with Jessie and Natalie. Whoa, a complete slam dunk for Inspector Gidget! Chima again freaks at the idea of having all her power taken away, and renews her threats to the show and CBS that she will do damaging things to them on live TV if it happens. (Just who the hell does she think she is, anyway?)
- Later, Kevin sits with Jeff on the patio and tries to play a game of hypotheticals in order to ascertain if Jeff has the Power of Greyskull, and how he intends to use it. They are both artfully cagey in the conversation. Michele is jogging in the backyard while they talk; Jeff calls her out briefly and asks her to make sure she heard them right before telling others what she thinks she heard. Ouch!
- Jessie and Natalie are also operating under the assumption that Jeff has the power. It still doesn’t help resolve their crossed purposes, mainly which Natalie wants Lydia gone ASAP, and Jessie still wants to enjoy two handmaidens instead of just the one. But they both resolve to get in Jeff’s head to try to steer how he uses the power. (Good luck with that, kids)
- They brought their concerns to Chima, and they agree that they would make Jeff (and maybe Jordan) targets next week if something happens
- A funny moment during the intrigue: Chima asked Jessie if he ever drank regular milk instead of his trusty chocolate milk. His voice cracked as he tried to reply, after which he added, "I'm still going through puberty!" And they laughed and laughed.
- Russell obtained alcohol. This can’t end well.
- Kevin’s not as smart as I thought. He later went up to the HoH and reported his talk with Jeff to Chima, Jessie and Natalie, and concluded that Jeff doesn’t have the power after all. They aren’t convinced, but talk turns to the possibility of Michele having the Power of Scrubbing Bubbles for a while.
- Natalie lies to Kevin during this meeting, and assures Kevin that she would not put up Lydia if she won HoH next week.
- Russell has decided that he enjoys being the villain. (Of course you do, it gives you an alleged excuse to be a bully and a douche)
- Jessie actually drank some alcohol. For a big guy, it sure hit him fast. He tried to sell Jeff on his conspiracy that Russell has been pushing people to target Jeff. He barely made sense while trying to speed-whisper it all in the storage room.
- Jeff didn’t believe Jessie, but he did believe that Jessie had told this to Jordan earlier. Jeff then got upset with her that she hadn’t mentioned it to him before; she didn’t remember hearing such a thing. They talked to Jessie again, who claimed that he never said anything bad and that he loves them and has always had their backs. Jessie then ran upstairs to report to headquarters. (Yeah, um, Jessie? Maybe not so much for you with the drinking, eh?)
- Kevin and Lydia got into a long, circular argument over the fact that Kevin isn’t going to take Lydia off the block, even though most of the house is unified in voting out Russell. Lydia kept talking about what it feels like when your closest friend in the house won’t even take you off the block. It’s all about gestures for her. Kevin is less concerned with gestures than he is with winning the game, and has an issue with Lydia telling Russell earlier that he isn’t using the veto on anyone. This turns into both of them psychoanalyzing each other: Lydia is a professional victim who aligns with people who treat her bad, while Kevin is a fair-weather friend. It’s like they are talking two different languages, and even though Kevin is a great listener, they really aren’t hearing each other this time. They both get melodramatic and it’s all pretty pointless. We’ll see what happens with one of the longest-standing friendships in the house…
- Jeff and Jordan made up in the hammock, and Jeff tried to explain why it might be a good thing if Russell stayed and Jessie went; Russell vowed to have their backs, and would help them take down the rest of the NBK one by one.
- Kevin gets Lydia to go up to the HoH, where she is once again assured that Russell is the only target this week, period. She tells them that Russell is amused with himself for the way he is stirring things up this week, and that he really thinks that whoever has The Power of Myth will save him. He is also planning on ambushing more people throughout the week, and that he has a whopper of a speech ready for Thursday. Apparently no one will be spared.
- Jessie and Kevin join the girl summit. Jessie is sloshed on very little alcohol, and provides the entertainment for the night as he tries to talk game.
- Chima renewed her hourly threat to bring an entire television network to a standstill, live on Thursday, if someone else makes a move in a game that affects her only indirectly. Mmm-hmm.
- Natalie tried to talk nice to Lydia again; Lydia tried to respond in kind. Neither of them buy it for a second.
- Chima renewed her desire for an all-girl house. By that she means all the girls except Lydia and Jordan, but including Kevin, even though he would probably be the first “girl” to get the boot out of the group. So what she really means is to have her, Natalie, and Michele as Final Three. But it sounds better when you invoke the entire Sisterhood.
- Jeff and Jordan cuddled a lot, and said and did many cute things. I’m sorry, I’m not as entranced by them as the rest of y’all…I like them more than most of the others, but that’s not really saying much. Bygones.
- Lydia tried to make a slop cake, slop brownies, and then some kind of flavored slop chips. Epic fail!
And that’s the double-stuffed news. waywyrd will guide you through Sunday’s thrilling developments. Until next time, keep reaching for the stars, but don’t step in any coup!
Thanks to JustJuls, Mari79, ThinkPink and TheIrishEyes for select imagery!