**This recap covers from noon Monday to noon Tuesday, BB time**
You know, I must say that I'm kind of enjoying this season on the live feeds. I mean don't get me wrong, there are lots and lots of dull moments. That's to be expected. But this season sure does have more that its fair share of drama. Every time I turn around, Natalie is yelling at someone or Chima is screeching about something. Ronnie is scheming and Lydia is causing fights left and right. Jessie is... well, probably just staring at himself flexing in the mirror.
As usual, my shift begins with the Monday afternoon feed blockage for the veto ceremony. We come back to find that Michele did not use the veto on either of the nominees. Lydia and Ronald McDonald are still on the block. I would be happy to see either of those annoying losers go home, but I guess I'm hoping Ronnie gets the boot moreso than Lydia.
The Meat Squad immediately starts thinking of ways they can possibly save their resident dork, Ronnie. Natalie assures Ronnie she is going to try her hardest to keep him in the house. Chima and Jessie think it's a huge mistake that Russell isn't pushing for everyone to vote Lydia out. Natalie confides to Chima that there are only 3 people in the house Natalie can trust: Jessie, Chima, and Ronnie. On that note, Natalie spills her real age to Chima. Hmm... now that Chima knows, I give it about 5 minutes before everyone in the entire house knows. I mean really, Natalie is telling people she is 18. She doesn't look 18. You would think someone would have figured it out by now. Anywho. The chit chat between the 2 ladies continues with both of them thinking Jeff is going to get the mystery power.
You're welcome ladies.
Ronnie joins the girls and of course he immediately begins to talk game. He thinks they can convince Russell to convince Michele to vote out Lydia. Ronnie also comments he would agree to do BB All Stars if they have another. An All Star you are not, Ronnie. Although it might be interesting to have someone like Evil Dick or Dan compete with Ronnie and tear him apart.
It really was a boring afternoon. Here are all the *yawn* details:
*Russell knows that Lydia wants him out, but he still wants Ronnie gone first.
*Jordan and Kevin think that something fishy is going on. That's probably just Kevin's breath since he like never brushes his teeth.
*Jessie delivers the bad news to Ronnie that Ronnie might not have the votes to stay. Ronnie still wants to try to convince Michele to keep him. Ronnie also thinks Russell is afraid of him because he's so smart.
*Conspiracy theories run rampant about who has won the magical power. Jordan thinks one of the Jock Strap crew has it. The Jock Strap crew thinks Jeff has it. I wish I had the magical power to make all of these idiots shut up.
*Apparently Russell and Chima are in some kind of tiff. He's being a big whiny baby about it but apparently so is she. Go figure.
*Jessie wants to “get Russell” for going after his precious boy wonder, Ronnie.
*Jessie and Natalie told Russell that Michele came to them with a plan to keep Ronnie. Liar liar pants on fire!
*Jessie shaves his legs outside. Hot...or not.
Chima and Jessie have a pretty good talk in the HoH room. Hmm, I thought that was Russell's room this week. Guess not. Chima trashes Russell and says that he lied about Jeff and Jordan wanting to come after the Meat Squad. She says that Russell is everybody's imaginary friend but he's really nobody's friend. She really wants Russell to go home next week and says she would backdoor him. Guess who her pawn would be? That's right! The pawn girl extraordinaire, Jordan. They continue to trash talk everyone else in the house, especially Michele.
Let's switch to the people I can actually stomach watching! Jordan is telling Jeff that Russell has been running around telling everyone lies. Jeff thinks that things were set up this week so that Jeff could be backdoored, but luckily Michele won the veto. They think Russell is trying to get them to keep Ronnie and turn on Lydia.
Skippy must be on his lunch break, because now all 4 feeds are on Russell and Michele in the HoH room. I hate it when I don't have a choice! Grrr... Anyway, apparently Lydia called Russell a liar but Russell is mad that Lydia didn't say what he lied about. Michele thinks Chima is mad/jealous that Michele is closer to Russell than Chima is. Hmm.. that's news to me. Russell says Chima is jealous of any girl he talks to. Jessie and Natalie told Russell that Michele jumps from side to side every week and that she will continue to do so. Michele tells Russell that isn't true and that she trusts Russell 100%. She also says Jessie and Natalie actually want Russell out. Urgh, here we go with so and so wants this and so and so said that.
A little later, Russell again talks with Michele about how the Jock Straps told him that she was the one who was campaigning to keep Ronnie. She denies it and says she was never in the room with them and that Russell is mistaken. She thinks it is all a farce to trick Kevin into voting to evict Lydia since he will think Michele is voting out Lydia also.
Elsewhere in the house, some usual cutesy banter between Jeff and Jordan ensues. She jokes that she is going to hook Jeff up with one of her friends and he tells her she says some really stupid things sometimes. She asks him for the millionth time if he has ever had braces and he says she asks the same questions everyday. Jessie wants to come clean to Russell that he made up the lie about Michele approaching them with the plan to keep Ronnie. Natalie thinks they should instead pin the lie on Ronnie. Chima agrees with Natalie and doesn't want Jessie to tell the truth.
That Natalie sure is a hot piece, isn't she folks?
Jessie and Russell pow wow in the HoH room. Uh oh, I can hardly wait to hear what meat and meatier are going to talk about. My guess is it will go something like this: “Grunt, *scratch*, grunt, *flex*, me tough man, grunt, *fart*, *scratch*” Russell jumps all over Jessie (not literally, although that might be amusing) for not telling him that Natalie and Chima want to backdoor him. Jessie says that he and Natalie are looking out for Russell and that Chima wants to go after Lydia/Kevin, not Russell. Russell then claims he only trusts Jessie and nobody else. What happened to the Hot Guy Alliance? I liked that one. Russell says that the people in the diary room have hinted that he should put up Jessie. Russell keeps rambling on and on about how he heard Chima is coming after him and how she wants a power girl alliance, and Jessie keeps denying it. He thinks Russell was fed some false information. Russell then brings up the whole “Michele is campaigning to keep Ronnie” lie, and Jessie asks if Russell is going to believe Michele or Jessie. Russell says he trusts Jessie. Wow, he really is a dumb meathead. And to think I liked Russell there for a bit. The meats shake hands. Russell tells Jessie that Michele will definitely put the two of them up if she wins HoH. Russell also spills the secret that Michele has a PhD, she is a smart cookie, and is indeed his next target. Shut up Russell!! They both trash Michele and say she is a liar and laugh at how they have now “caught” her. Someone buy these 2 gorillas a clue. (Meanwhile, on another feed Jeff and Jordan are laughing and goofing around as usual, but I'm going to stick with these 2 Negative Nancies).
Jessie's pitbull (miss ya Casey!) Natalie wants Chima to go up to the HoH to deal with all of this drama head on. Russell informs her that Michele told him that Chima is going to backdoor him. Following me? Chima gets all pissed off and brings Michele up to the HoH, which I now feel is more like the principal's office, to confront her. Russell asks Michele if she said Chima wants to backdoor him. Michele says that she only said Chima MIGHT want to backdoor him but she was only speculating. F bombs fly all around. Chima says she originally thought that Russell was lying about Michele saying anything about Chima backdooring Russell. The girls are giving it to Russell and he's getting more and more steamed as the conversations continues. He tells Michele all she does is lie and tells Chima he doesn't care what she believes. The screaming match ensues and Chima and Russell get in each other's faces screaming. Russell is such a man, isn't he? She screams that he's a rat.
Chima then finds Jeff and Jordan and begins to tell them about all the lies Russell has been telling everyone. Jordan says she knows that Michele hasn't lied and Chima says she knows. I guess Russell also told some people that Jordan is playing Jeff. Jeff makes a wise crack to Jordan and they giggle. Jordan confirms that she wants Ronnie out because he is a liar and talks back about people. She also starts to confide in Chima that Russell told Jordan/Jeff that people wanted them out. Jordan thinks that Russell and Ronnie are together.
The other hamsters scatter into different camps, with each camp talking about the other. Michele and Kevin are complaining about Russell and Michele confirms she is still voting out Ronnie. Russell is in the backyard with Natalie, trash talking Michele. Ronnie goes into the bathroom where mostly everyone has congregated at this point. Kevin goes off on Ronnie and calls him a liar and says he lied about talking to Russell. Kevin also thinks Ronnie and Russel have a secret alliance. Things get really heated, and Kevin and Ronnie are chest to chest screaming at each other. Sheesh. I need earplugs tonight. Ronnie reminds Kevin that Ronnie is going to be going home Thursday night and there is no secret alliance between himself and Russell. Kevin calls him a Nazi like Hitler and Ronnie tells him to say whatever he wants to make himself feel better.
You better teach me how to play World of Warcraft now!!
Just when you thought there couldn't be anymore drama in one night, ol screechin' Chima runs outside and throws a glass of water in Russell's face! Whoa! There's a Dick trick if I've ever seen one. They go inside the house and continue screaming at each other. Russell screams that Chima offered to give him a little sucky sucky in the shower. She says nobody wants him. He says her mouth is only good for talking crap and sucking d***. Nice. She says he is short and has a short d***. Well, I hate to say it Chima. We've all seen his “lovemuscle” and it isn't small by any means. Chima then spills that Russell puts towels up so he can uh... massage his lovemuscle. Nice again. She keeps egging him on, puts her hands on him, and challenges him to hit her. I can't understand half of what they are saying because she is squawking and he can't speak a complete sentence. She better be careful because he very well may. Super Jeff jumps in to break things up and Chima gets called to the diary room. Yikes, that was kind of scary. What kind of drugs are these hamsters on tonight?
Yeah, that's right. I gargle with Scope bitch!! Smell it!
Chima comes out of the DR and Russell is called in. Apparently the DR is giving everyone a “3 foot talking rule”. Good idea. Ronnie and Chima talk and Ronnie is so upset by everything going on that he starts to cry. WHAAAAAT!? The dorkbot feels emotions? He claims he is physically injured because Kevin chest bumped him so hard. He wants BB to review the tapes because he was physically assaulted. Give me a break. Meanwhile, Jeff wants his car keys to get the heck out of there. Leave it to Jeff to crack a joke.
Okay seriously, just when I thought things were FINALLY going to calm down, ANOTHER screaming match starts up. Natalie and Michele are now getting into it, followed by Ronnie/Kevin screeching at each other again. Oh my goodness. Ronnie tells Kevin that nobody will ever love him and Kevin tells Ronnie he knows nothing about him.
I think BB has had enough of these explosive blowups and gives us fish for a bit. When we come back, everyone seems to have quieted down. Chima comments that these big fights happened on a Monday night like last time. Yeah, thanks guys. The DR keeps calling people in, probably to make sure nobody takes a swing at anyone else.
......and then, he called me a Dorkapotamus *sniffle*
The late night hours roll in with more whispering and gossiping between everyone about everyone else. This is horrible. It truly is like high school.
Here are the highlights:
*Natalie guaranteed Jeff that he and Jordan are safe next week if the Turd Herd gets HoH.
*Ronnie and Kevin apologize to each other. Aww. Gag.
*Ronnie thinks that BB isn't being fair with letting the Have Nots sleep wherever. Amen, Ronnie! That's the smartest thing you've said all day!
*Chima admits she did give Russell a kiss on the cheek before
*Russell apologizes to Chima. I don't really think any words could make up for the fact that he probably wanted to push her down the stairs.
*Chima thinks Jessie should have stepped in during her fight with Russell instead of hiding like a coward. He was probably just mesmerized with his own reflection in the mirror.
*Everyone is still speculating about who has the mystery power. Okay I'll tell you. It's me. I have the power. Move on.
*Natalie knows that she, Jessie, and Chima haven't gotten the power because they have a code phrase to let the others know they have the power. You hear that BB? That's cheating!
There isn't much of a gap between the time the last hamster falls asleep and when the first hamster wakes up. These guys don't give a girl a break! Everyone gets up and mills about for a little while, then Russell heads back to bed. Man, walking downstairs and eating breakfast sure is tiring! Jessie goes up to the HoH and assures Russell that Natalie, Jessie, and Russell are still cool. Oh good. They want to talk to Jeff and Jordan to make sure they aren't believing Chima's lies.
The laziness continues, and a little while later, Michele and Russel talk in the backyard. She asks what all the fighting was about and he says he was just trying to find out who was lying. As my shift finally comes to an end, Michele and Russell rehash all the details from all the shouting matches.
Another exciting Monday night down the tubes. I need a drink.
*Thanks to JustJuls for being an awesome screencap goddess!*