Hello dear readers! Tis I, iguanachocolate, here to bring you another exciting episode of hamster hunting. When we last saw our harried rodents, they had just voted out the banana with an attitude, Casey, the cliques dissolved, and were told of a special power that would be granted one of them that will change the game. But the best part was that they were left on the merry-go-round from hell and had to be the last one sitting in order to win the HoH.
Chima is happy the alliances are ended and bids her fellow dorks goodbye. Natalie shows off her math skills by reminding us that she used to have two other people who could play and win to keep her safe, conveniently forgetting that her Athlete team was a team of four, therefore she had three people who could win on her behalf, but I suppose she had already written Jeff off as a non-entity. Jeff says his alliance is only he and Jordan. Jessie the wordsmith says he has to rely on the people he has built a ‘moral’ with. Eh, what?
Back to the fun. The house hamsters are being swung round and round and where they stop, nobody knows. Let’s hope it’s not in the puddles of puke now lining the lovely fake green grass. Oh, did I mention the rain? Yup, sheets and sheets of it falling on them. Hmmmm, I think I am forgetting something. Oh wait, I know, it’s the giant diploma/burrito that smacks the hamsters as they whizz by on their little wooden booty seats. It’s my favorite part.
Little Kevin is the first hamster sent packing to the turf after 21 one wet minutes. Lydia wants to know if Kevin would hate her if she dropped. He wouldn’t and she drops at 25 minutes. Did I mention the presents? Yup, each of the first five hammies to drop gets to pick a present from Julie’s stash. Kevin dropped first, so he picks first and wins $5000! He’s happy about that because he is broke. Lydia picks a prize and wins a 42 inch flat screen. Nice! She is happy to be replacing the little twelve inch she ‘inherited’ from and ex.
More vomiting and Ronnie claims this is what made him drop. Lie # 32,156. Then Natalie drops. They pick prizes and wha wha wha , win nothing. Russell, Jordan, Jeff, Michele and Chima are the only ones left swinging. Jessie feels the only one left he can root for is Chima. At this point they have been swinging for over an hour and they are all looking a bit green. Jordan drops and just lays there as no one rushes to help her. Cads. She gets the last prize and now has the ability to choose the Have Nots for the week. Way cool!
The remaining hamsters go round and round and round some more. Chima does a really impressive flip over the top the burrito diploma but still drops eventually at 2 hours and 22 minutes. Ronnie calls for help for her and Jessie sits on his ass. I guess he is unwilling to risk those big guns for anything useful. Jessie does, however, tell Russell to tell Jeff if he falls and gives it to Russell, then Ronnie will go up. Russ does tell this to Jeff, but Jeff says to wait to talk deals until after Michele falls. Poor Michele does drop and ends up getting tangled in the ropes and bares all to America. Never fear, Jessie is there with a towel to cover and Ronnie is there to clip her free and she is spared FCC fines.
Down to Russell and Jeff, both of whom vow to hang on forever. Jordan cheers her man on by telling him to play it out. Russ tells Jeff they want the same person, and Russ tells us that he overheard Ronnie talking smack about him and thinks that everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. Jeff is just worried about keeping him and Jordan safe. He doesn’t trust Russell to keep his word. They clear the backyard so the dudes can talk mano a mano. Russ really wants a letter from his dad who just had surgery and he swears on his ‘pops’ that Jeff and Jordan are safe and the deed is done. Jeff drops, and Russell says he has new found respect for Jeff since he hung on just as long as he did.
Jordan decides the fairest way to pick the Have Nots is to draw names. She draws Kevin, Natalie (who has a slop pass) and Jessie. Of course, those two spend the rest of the evening kvetching and Natalie says over and over and over again how unfair it was (insert Danielle Donato patented whine here) that the first two to drop got the best prizes and she got nothing. Yeah, getting bitch slapped by karma isn’t the party you’d think it is, is it Natalie? Jessie and Natalie are pushing Russell to put Lydia and Kevin up – Jessie claims they are floating through the game. Russell says he’ll listen, but that he is going to do what he wants. Ronnie is scrambling to find out what the deal is – Natalie assures him he will stay. The talk turns to the mystery power and Ronnie thinks he’ll get it. He says he’ll wield the power like a Jedi knight. Hey, Ronnie, didn’t I already tell you you’re more like a Jar Jar Binks? I believe I did.
Russ’s HoH room features the obligatory baby pictures, family pics and assorted goodies. Russell reads the letter aloud to the other houseguests and tells us that the letter brought some of the elements of the game more into focus for him: Be humble in victory, watch himself and watch the way he acts. Good advice, Monsieur Hothead.
Jeff and Russell talk about the deal in the privacy of the HoH room. It seems like Russ is going to honor the deal and he says that he and Jeff should partner up because no one would suspect it. He thinks they would dominate the physical challenges, but they are going to keep it quiet for now.
OOOOH, America votes for squash and squid for the Have Nots this week. Eat up, Jessie!
Lydia goes into full kiss up mode with Russell, since he now has the power, telling him he is sweeter and nicer since he got the room. Sells Nat and Jessie out by telling Russell they talk smack about him all the time. That goes down the drain when Jessie, Nat and Chima pay Russ a visit and he spills the beans about what Lydia told him. They call her a bitch and Chima says it is a blatant lie. They all put the reverse smack down on Lydia and say they have never said anything like that.
Ronnie comes up to squirm – he still doesn’t know what the deal is, but tells Russ that when he was HoH he was loyal to Russ. Ronnie wants Lydia and Kevin up. Russ seems to be playing along with him and tells Ronnie he is not in any danger. Ronnie is not sure if he can believe him. Ronnie tells us from the diary room that he is a good manipulator, so maybe he pulled it off.
Let’s find out how good the Rat Boy is, shall we? Let’s see we have keys for Jeff, Jessie, Jordan, Chima, Michele, Natalie, and Kevin. This leaves Lydia and Ronnie as the chosen ones.
In his speech, Russ says Ronnie is the snake, but he is a mongoose and he will eat the snake. Ronnie tells us he is the King cobra and will kill the mongoose. Yeah, and then run and hide.
Stay tuned to Tuesday to see if Ronnie can save his butt with the PoV- see you then!