*This is a recap of events from noon Saturday to noon Sunday*
As Saturday’s shift begins, we learn that Jessie, Michele, Jordan, Jeff, Chima and Casey are playing for the big vee-toe. Jessie picked Jeff, Michele picked Casey, and Jordan picked Chima. Of course, we don’t get to see the fun because...well I don’t know why, really. It’s not like we don’t know about all the production Skippys in the background. They could at least show us bits and pieces, the stingy bastards.
So three hours of trivia later, and Michele has won the veto. Yay her! Of course Jessie pokes his head in her face and asks her who the replacement nominee should be - she said she’ll have to think about it. He has someone in mind but wants to hear her out, and promises not to tell anyone what she says. Then promptly goes and blabs to lapdog Natalie about it. No idea what the comp entailed, but Jessie won $2500 (ugh), poor Casey has to wear a banana suit, and the house won a margarita party thanks to Casey. Except for sloppers on the Brain Team, as they are have-nots for the week. Chima is highly pissed, as she thinks it just isn’t a party unless her special little self is there.
Sounds like the comp was a messy one, as they all run to the showers. Jessie and Chima were both banged up in the process, and if I cared more about either of them I’d go into more detail about their boo-boos. But I don’t.
As these nimrods try to fire up a few working neurons to figure out what Jessie’s take home on $2500 would be, Lydia begins a lotion rubdown of Jessie’s back. Don’t want him to start getting the idea that she’s expendable now that Michele has won veto...
Casey seems to think that BB keeps the first few evictees in case they want to bring one back, but Jeff says that’s BS and hopes they don’t do this until after he leaves. Naps are taken, pizza is inhaled (gawd, the table manners in this house) and Chima gets a smackdown for talking about production. She bitches, saying that she’d love to flip off the camera. Go ahead, you wouldn’t be the first.
So what do they do for our entertainment on a Saturday night? Have one great big hamster grooming party. Yeah, I know, try to stay awake. Chima straightens her Medusa-like mop o’ hair, and it looks pretty good as much as it pains me to say so. Chima also wants to pluck Natalie’s brows, after sharing that she’s got her coochie waxed. (The only one who may be interested in this tidbit is Russell)
Then Jessie wants his hair cut. Lydia volunteers, of course, and has clippers in her hand when someone off screen yells and Jessie turns his head. We go to fish. When we come back, Natalie is now cutting Jessie’s hair. Hee! Then Jeff steps in to fix the mess she made. Lydia goes off to mold her hair into a spiky little disaster with Kevin’s help while Jeff trims his own hair.
Casey promotes safe sex as a huge walking condom. Take note, Lydia.
Jeff and Jordan (and Casey, though he’s nervousing) all still believe that The Plan is still in place. You know, the one to backdoor Ronnie that isn’t going to happen. J&J hope that either Casey or Jeff get HoH next time, and Jeff huffs that none of the HoH’s so far has had balls. Well, according to Lydia, Jessie has some big ones.
Upstairs, Lydia and her appendage Kevin talk smack about Natalie, which has become a favorite hobby of Lydia’s. I’m still waiting for the catfight between those two, it should be epic. Lydia spits that Natalie was talking about seeing Jessie’s manparts, which Lydia seems to think belong to her.
When Casey finally makes his official entrance dressed in the banana costume, everyone dies laughing. Casey thinks he looks like a big pencil, but I think he looks more like a huge yellow condom. The old rabbit suit was much better. He apologizes to his wife and son for looking like a doofus and tries to make the best of it.
Lydia thinks happy thoughts about Natalie.
News flash: Jessie DOES own a shirt with sleeves! And where did Russell get those glasses?
Jessie and Natalie, who never talk game according to him, talk game. Jessie laughs at Casey and how Casey thinks he can trust him. Nice. Nat wants Lydia gone, of course, but Jessie squashes that talk - if Nat goes after Lydia, Lydia will go after Nat, he concludes. A smart one, that Jessie. He just doesn’t want his concubines gone quite yet.
Totally useless tidbits:
- Natalie wanted to tell the others that she saw a banner that said “Ronnie’s not a liar!” Chima and Jessie think that’s stupid.
- Jessie thinks that if you drink a shake before bed, you won’t have to get up to pee.
- Chima says she spends $100 a week on her hair.
- Ronnie was a Phi Kappa Delta.
- Michele did some kind of epic faceplant during the veto comp.
- Michele says she had platinum blonde hair with blue tips before BB.
- Lydia gave Jeff a manicure. Why he let her, I have no idea.
- Kevin calls himself a “homosexual homebody.”
- Jessie lived with some dude who was a fan of his. Said fan stole $1200 worth of Jessie’s stuff.
- Russell hates losing - he says if he loses at a video game, he slaps the whole thing across the room. *cough*roid rage!*cough*
Chima stays busy flirting with Russell (I don’t like where this is going), sitting on his lap and play fighting with him. Somehow it just lacks the utter cuteness of Jeff and Jordan. Since Nat has Jessie all tied up, Lydia stomps around with her stupid pointy hair and pretends to play nice with the “other” side, telling Jordan how tough it must be to be on the block twice already. She lies and tells them that she’ll “pass out” if Jessie doesn’t put Ronnie up. Lydia continues the butt-kissing with Jordan, Jeff and Michele, warming up those lips for Jessie later tonight.
Yeah, I went there.
Tell me about it.
Cuteness alert! Jeff shows Jordan how to lift weights - well, she bench presses just the bar, no weights involved. It’s a start! She then gets lessons on bicep curls, and I wish these two would just kiss and get it over with. Then the YouTube tribute videos could commence.
Once Jessie is free, his doormat Lydia attaches herself at his hip and fusses because he wouldn’t let her cut his hair. You wouldn’t listen, replies Jessie. She then squawks about him not trusting her. Still, when Jessie asks her to rub his feet a few minutes later, she gladly complies. Because she’s desperate like that.
In the red room, Jeff, Jordan, Russell, Chima, and Michele discuss gay marriage. Jeff doesn’t see the big issue: “Dude, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. If you want to get married, get married. If you want to fly a plane into a penguin, do it!” This launches him into talking about his obsession with penguins (?), and how March of the Penguins is the most awesomest movie ever. (It actually is a great movie, I recommend it if you like critter movies) He goes on and on about it as the others crack up, then Jordan pipes up about penguins having sex and he accuses her of trying to turn it into a porno.
Russell thinks Jeff and Jordan are hilarious together and should have their own show. Pissed off banana Casey chain smokes in the backyard as penguin talk turns to Lorena Bobbitt. At least there was no poop mentioned, for which I am thankful.
Really, not much else of note happened tonight. Or in the morning. Honestly, I just feel lucky that I was spared another Jessie/Lydia tent episode. One per week is my limit.
Big thanks to JustJuls and TheIrishEyes for the excellent caps!