(This recap covers Noon Friday-Noon Saturday, BB time)
As this 24-hour turn on the scary-go-round begins, Jessie is up in his HoH, continuing to bask in his own glory and leaving odd, deep dents in the mattress. At the moment, he and his Queen-du-Jour Natalie are holding a summit with PoH (Pariah of Household) Ronnie. To hear them talk, the last 5 days never happened, for they are still as tight as ever, swearing mutual allegiance to each other, agreeing to keep one eye on Russell, and setting up Casey for the backdoor. So happy is Ronnie to be out of someone’s crosshairs that he professes to the powerbar couple, “You are my brother from another mother, and you are my sister from another mister!” I wonder where he read that…
Meanwhile, everyone else is down in the bathroom, waiting on Casey to finish a long sit-down, and providing off-color commentary. In so doing, they set the tone for the rest of this shift. Poop.
Big Brother must already be regretting the cast they put together, and the twist they devised, because these people are definitely not god at the art of chitchat. All they talk about is bodily functions, sex, and entertainment industry contracts. It’s like Big Brother: All-Stars’ Stand-ins. Or Big Brother: Till We Drop the Kids Off at the Pool. (Okay, I’m done)
These lackluster HGs have been waiting all day for the Have/Have Not competition to begin, and thankfully the feeds go to fishes less than 30 minutes into my shift, and stay there for almost two hours. When they return, the Brains have once again failed to live up to their brand, as they move back into the Kraftwerk Room, anticipate more cold showers, and are subjected to the viewer-voted diet of cabbage and cocktail franks. People seem to be apologizing to Chima for picking on the Brains again, but they couldn’t torture Ronnie without affecting the rest of his clique. (When can we start a countdown clock on this awful, awful, season-ruining twist, Ms. Grodner? When oh when???)
“These remind me of Tribbles…did you know they hail from the planet Iota Geminorum IV?”
Random semi-useless facts from the day:
On the living room couch, Lydia worries to Kevin that Jessie might put her up. Kevin suggests that if Jessie puts her up, she stop putting out (see above). He also compares Natalie to Michelle, Jessie’s BFF from last season. (There’s no comparison for Lydia, no woman in the BB10 house would have him.)
- Casey once worked for a CBS-owned radio station.
- Lydia told Kevin that she is engaging in “friendly petting” with Jessie, but nothing else, not even kissing. Mmm-hmm.
- Lydia also revealed that Jessie is…his…he’s…oh hell, the meat’s not big, but the taters are. (Pardon me while I vomit along with you)
- Jordan loves country music, while Jeff does not. Will this marriage survive?
- Natalie was all smiles all afternoon, and at one point asked Jessie to call her the co-HoH. Somebody smack this girl…
- Jordan wants to visit Jeff Chicago to see a baseball game, but Jeff thinks he’ll be busy after BB ends, as he plans on being the next Bachelor (yikes!).
- Russell had no idea that Drew Carey took over The Price Is Right, or that Ed McMahon had died around the same time as Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.
- Chima’s birthday is this Tuesday; they hope that everyone will be allowed to eat some kind of feast to mark the occasion (man, they really don’t watch this show, do they?)
- Natalie is still complaining about Casey eating her leftover pork chop as if it were a Federal crime.
- Russell has never been to a play. Chima has been in plays.
- Chima was cast in a Ludacris music video, but when Ludacris came to the set, he let her go because she looked too much like someone else. She was paid anyway.
- Jordan may audition for Survivor next. Chima would never do that because she could never eat bugs.
- Russell likes comic books, and prefers Marvel titles because they are more violent. He thinks Superman is too goody-goody.
Natalie and Lydia have taken so many turns talking to Jessie in the HoH bed that eventually it had to happen: all three of them lie in bed together…but they just talk game…and tacos.
Jessie continues to hold meetings in his HoH, trying to steer everyone toward his way of thinking about Casey without actually admitting that he doesn’t want to evict Ronnie this week. He tries to be evasive/persuasive with Jeff, who by now is used to being patronized by his own teammates. Jessie says that the house is intimidated by his physical build, but Jeff lets him know that he certainly isn’t, so there goes that theory. Jessie talks in circles for what seems like three days, attempting to soften the blow if Jordan goes up again as a pawn. Jeff finally asks him point blank, is he going to get rid of Ronnie? Jessie cryptically says he is still listening to everyone’s opinions, basically hinting that if he puts up someone else (Casey), it will be the will of the house (it won’t). After their wordplay marathon, Jeff goes to Jordan and blithely reports that Jessie isn’t putting Ronnie up, and that the whole house will be mad about it. Meanwhile, Natalie instructs Jessie on exactly what to say when he finally tells Jeff that Jordan is going up.
While taking the first of many more cold showers, Chima complains that BB better let her get off slop five hours early, like Jordan did after the live show Thursday. She also wants a pillow that she thinks she has coming to her. Later, she complains to Russell, Nat and Kevin about Ronnie being on her team, and how there should be fewer dorks represented, and more people like her. Russ chimes in with, “what, hot brains?” To which Chima laughs her laugh and says, “yeah, hot athletic brains!” She calls Russell a hot athletic brain too. To help her being on slop, Russell offers to pop a candy is his mouth, and then pass it to her while they make out. And, the stage is set for the season’s next ungodly showmance. Ugh.
Ronnie joins Natalie upstairs for a game of chess and whispering. Ronnie tells her that Russell told him that Lydia is going up. Ronnie leaves to check on his weenies on the stove, and Jessie comes out to get the latest. Ronnie returns and whisper whisper veto whisper…Jessie says “We’ll figure it out,” and returns to his chambers.
Never mention Lydia’s name while Natalie is brushing her teeth.
Soon BB (not the recorded BB guy but a flesh-and-blood producer) instructs the HGs to go outside and sit quietly, while Jessie goes to the DR. Obviously, the nomination ceremony will happen soon, and the feeds go to fish to confirm this.
An hour later the feeds return, and Michele and Jordan are the nominees. A glum Jordan receives rah-rah speeches from Jeff and Michelle, who both figure someone else is being backdoored, although who that person is remains to be seen. Michele is actually pumped about getting to play in the POV, and proving to America that she really exists. Otherwise, the house returns to its usual routine of showering, chess playing, complaining (Chima) and laying around like lumps.
Everyone seems to be convinced that the POV will take place later tonight instead of tomorrow. BB will neither confirm nor deny it, although they are instructed to stay awake for the full run of After Dark (9PM-Midnights BBT). It doesn’t occur to the cliquesters that they are being told this because they are a pretty boring lot, and that BB has never had to tell a cast to stay awake and do something this early in the season before.
As an example, Jordan says she needs to cut down her eating, her clothes are getting tight. Later, during BBAD, Jeff and Russell both claim they are overeating as well, and that they both have been taking an unusually high number of sit-down trips to the bathroom. (Obviously I’m cleaning up their language here.) Haven’t any of these people heard of beer pong? I’d even settle for Zuma Zuma at this point! BB better supply them with some lawn games quick…
Ho, HoH, Ho
In game-related developments. Michelle asked Lydia who she would take down if she won POV, and she said Jordan. (What ever happened to lying?) Michelle also took Jordan aside and said that Nat had warned her against picking Casey to play, as he would probably leave the noms as they are.
Just as BBAD begins. Lydia is in the DR, and Michele, Russell, Nat, Kevin, Ronnie and Chima are hanging out in the kitchen, trying to get a game of Truth or Dare going. The first big dare is to Natalie, who has to moon Lydia when she comes out of the DR. Natalie does so with gusto, in fact Lydia later comments that she saw a lot more than Nat’s behind when she dropped trou so enthusiastically. Eek.
Next, Ronnie is dared to hug Casey for ten seconds (okay, maybe they do watch the show). Ronnie finds Casey and starts apologizing for all his misdeeds and hugs him; an uncomfortable Casey says it’s okay and gives Ronnie man-pats, as everyone in the kitchen busts out laughing. Casey, who has been denied nicotine during this long lockdown, is not-amused.
Next, Kevin is dared to go up to a sleeping Jessie and cuddle with him. That’s not a dare for him, that’s a gift! They sneak up the spiral staircase and watch as Kevin climbs into bed and wraps his arm around Jessie, who wakes up and is visibly angry. Jessie always gets angry when the joke is on Jessie.
Meanwhile, Jeff and Jordan take Casey aside and ask him about his POV intentions. Casey denies everything that Nat told Michele, and they start wondering if there is another plan in play besides the obvious backdooring of Ronnie. They share their mutual wish to get rid of Natalie first chance they get. Amazingly, they all still believe that she is 18. Read your contracts, you dopes!
As the game dies down, talk returns to eating, pooping, and having things stuck in your butt (actually that last one was all Jordan, talking about sand spurs she received at the beach). They also talk about their most embarrassing moments; unfortunately, all of the moments they share are too boring to report here. Oh yeah, Russell did share that he had been arrested three times for getting into bar fights, and had beat the crap out of one guy and put another through a plate-glass window. Charming.
During a brief moment alone in the kitchen, Kevin whispers to Lydia that when he is HoH (snort), he will put up two athletes in order to break up their numbers. They both have Russell high on their lists of people to evict.
As BBAD ends, Russell clears the living room with a loud, putrid attack of gas. He is beside himself laughing over the talent he possesses. No one else is amused. Others get ready for bed, but Jordan can’t sleep and gets into a cleaning frenzy. Russell is also too wired on caffeine and sugar to sleep, and Chima can’t bear to go into the Have-Nots Room, so they end up chatting while he showers. The conversation continues on the BR couch after he is dried and dressed, and it turns into a marathon chat about life, sex, politics, sex, power, sex, and sex. They are very flirtatious, and for a while Russell is actually reflective, saying he thinks he’ll die young. Chima tells him he should have kids, because having a Russell Jr. will give him a reason to live longer. He says he is Russell Jr., to which our Hot Brain replies, “Okay, then a Russell Jr. Jr.!” Chima says the advantage of growing older is that your insurance goes down. Russell shares that he has a DUI and a bunch of accidents (besides his near-fatal one). Chima concludes that he simply has too much testosterone. Thankfully, this comment does not lead to her relieving Russell of some of it.
However, this will not be a nookie-free night, as Lydia waits in the HoH bed for her man to finish his cereal and shake in the kitchen before retiring. And retire he does, as another pup-tent is made, and the sounds of moaning, slurping and awkward small-talk again bounce off the dark HoH walls. A few new noises are heard which may lead some to wonder if Lydia went further than she claimed she would this time. After the tent serves its purpose, they briefly talk game before drifting off to sleep.
In the morning, Lydia awakes and comes down to the green room and tells Chima “I dreamt I was having sex last night.” Ugh. Double ugh. Otherwise, the houseguests start their day wondering when the heck they are going to pick partners and play the POV. Jessie informs Natalie that if Ronnie isn’t picked for the POV, that he will pick him to host the comp, not her. Natalie has a temper tantrum, saying that being “co-HoH” should afford her some perks. Jessie reminds her that he is the sole HoH. Triple ugh. Let’s all distract ourselves by reviewing this week’s Alliance Wheel, which has become a lot more simplified in the last week:
Eventually, fishes replace all the ughness, and we learn that the POV players will be Jessie, Jordan, Michele, Jeff, Chima, and Casey. And the host will be…Natalie! She may not be co-HoH, but she sure has Jessie by the taters. So, Jessie & Natalie’s plan to spread the word about not picking Casey has failed, and they will have to make sure he loses, or else all of Jessie’s master plans will crumble before his eyes. Also, many people are still not in on the plan, so there is concern among the Jocks (sans the usually excluded Jeff) that this will upset more people in the house than they intended.
As the shift ends, they are still waiting to play the POV, and Russell and Casey are having a deep chat about religion, war and oppression. Russell lets slip that his family is heavily involved in some Secret Service-type activities. Who will win this week’s POV, and will Russell mysteriously disappear forever the minute he is released from the BB house? Keep watching the feeds and reading our recaps to find out!
Thanks to TheIrishEyes, lildago, and waywyrd for vivid imagery!