**This recap covers from noon Monday to noon Tuesday, BB time**
Hello again live feed fanatics! If you don't have the feeds this season, be glad. I honestly don't think I can stomach another second of RonRash and the Jock Itch Club. But hey, I guess since I pay for this garbage, I might as well get my money's worth and watch it. Or I could take my cash and by myself a new pair of shoes. Hmmm....
My shift begins with trivia. It must finally be time for the Veto Ceremony! I still have a small glimmer of hope in the back of my mind that Ronnie will backdoor Russell, but I know that my precious Jordan will be on the block when the feeds come back. A little more time passes and finally we are back! Ah yes, just as I suspected. Jeff took himself off of the block and Ronnie replaced him with Jordan. Ronnie is such a ratfink. Seriously. What happened to the “Backdoor Russell” plan? Ronnie has no backbone. I know this is just a game, but Jordan? Sloths have more game than she does. Whatever.
Jordan says that Ronnie will be going on the block if she stays and wins HoH. She thinks it's pretty sad that she is one of the few people who is actually nice to Ronnie and he put her on the block. I think it's sad too. Jeff and Casey assure Jordan that she will be safe, although they like Laura and feel bad for her. I like Laura too. Giant flotation devices and all. Laura and Jordan head to the backyard to sun themselves and Laura says she wishes it was Thursday so she wouldn't have to wait all week to be evicted. She also wants to eat. That girl needs to eat. Like 12 sandwiches. Now. The Backyardigans hang out together for pretty much the whole afternoon. Casey acts like
an assCasey, Laura sulks around, and Jeff cracks jokes.
Meanwhile, the Jock Strap Squad stays inside, happily stuffing their faces with spaghetti. Natalie makes her way to the backyard and complains that everyone inside is mean. Hello Captain Obvious! She claims they make fun of her constantly and she's tired of Lydia being such a drag. She decides she's going to get her bathing suit on and join the cool kids in the backyard.
Later on, up in the HoH room, Ronnie tells Michele that he is doing Jeff and Jordan a favor by getting Laura out of the house now because they would never be able to beat Laura in the finals. What a considerate guy, that Ronarooni. He claims he only put Jeff up so Jeff could win POV. That's crap. Ronnie talks some more game (surprise!) and Michele doesn't appear too enthralled or thrilled. He hopes their clique makes it to the end and he's pretty sure he can trust Chima and Jessie. He rambles on some more and I feel like I'm going to fall asleep. He sure does like to hear himself talk. I wish he was as awesome as he thinks he is. Will Kirby you are not, Ronnie. He tells Michele again that he is doing things for the good of her and Jeff and Jordan and he apologized to Casey for casting the tying vote to evict Braden. Get your boots on folks, it's getting deep in here! It's either this conversation or Kevin and Chima. I vote neither. Hey, remember when Janelle and Kaysar were on BB? Those were the days! Whoops sorry I was daydreaming! Moving on...
Outside, Lydia and Russell talk about how Natalie thinks she is all that and a bag of chips. They think it's sad how she hangs all over Jessie but she doesn't give him the time of day. Lydia says if she gets HoH, she isn't going to let Natalie use her shower or sleep in her bed. Ick, I wouldn't want to sleep in that HoH bed because of
who'swhat's gone down in there. Literally. Russell agrees. They make fun of Casey, spew some more venom, and that's about it.
Later, the meatheads convene in the pool. Jeff actually joins them. I'm surprised their muscles and egos all fit together in the same pool! They contemplate reuniting and Jessie says his goal in the game is to keep all 4 of them safe. He hopes they all at least get to the jury house. Jessie fills Jeff in on how to cheat on the Majority Rules competition. Okay, this is about the 100th time I have heard the explanation on how to cheat on that game. BB better do something about that.
Some afternoon tidbits for you to digest:
-Lydia and Kevin think Casey is an ass.
-Jessie told Natalie he would prove to her he doesn't have a deal with anyone by voting everyone but her out the door. Gorillas really are loyal creatures, aren't they?
-Kevin had a dream that he slept with a woman. I imagine that was more like a nightmare.
-Russell wants Ronnie gone next. America hears you and waits with baited breath.
-Jeff is mad that the athletes think they are doing him a favor by keeping Jordan.
-Laura cries and whines and says she wants to go home. This is probably the 5th time she's done this little pity party today.
-Russell throws a nut in Jordan's drink. Not surprisingly, that's the only nut Russell has thrown to a girl in quite some time. Okay, okay, that was uncalled for.
-Ronnie slithers around and tries to talk to people. They ignore him.
I expect a relatively quiet and uneventful evening, but it doesn't appear this is going to be the case. These people never, ever stop talking game. It hurts my head. Laura and Ronnie meet up in his HoH room. She tells him she isn't going after him and people have been lying to him about it. Ronnie is mad because he heard Laura called him a puppetmaster, which she denies. Ummm, Ronboy, you called yourself the puppetmaster. Ronnie thinks that his plan to help Jeff, Laura, and Jordan by voting out Braden has backfired. Ugh, this guy lies through his teeth. Laura tries to convince Ronnie she would be the better person to keep. I can't listen to this anymore. She claims that she doesn't want to campaign against Jordan, but she tells Ronnie he will be safe if she stays. She is totally trying to cut a deal. Ronnie tells her to try to talk to Jessie. Laura throwing Jordan under the bus just isn't something I can stomach at the moment. That and I have a severe fear of rodents and can't stand looking at Ronnie anymore.
Well, since there isn't a whole lot else going on, I guess it's back to Ronnie. He gathers Lydia, Chima, and Natalie in the HoH room. He tells them that Laura poured her guts out to him and says that she said Russell is trying to evict all of them. He feels that Laura was being straight with him and he really wishes he would have backdoored Russell when he had the chance. He really feels like they should keep Laura, but they all know they are evicting her. Lydia and Natalie yell. I cover my ears. Me thinks everyone is wising up to Ronnie's true colors. He wants to keep Laura, make a deal, and hatch a plan to get rid of Russell.
Kevin removed both arms and beat Ronnie with them
Natalie tells Russell about the HoH conversation, and Russell confronts Ronnie in the storage room. He says that Ronnie is creating doubt with the team and acting paranoid. Russell then brings the whole Jock Itch alliance together in the bathroom and goes off on Ronnie. He is mad that Ronnie addressed the whole group and didn't come to him directly. Ronnie is mumbling around that Laura came to him and threw Russell under the bus. Hmm... yeah and Ronnie didn't say a word about him, right? Ronnie is a blotchy mess. Speaking of mess, I think Ronnie may have made one in his pants.
Everyone is fired up at this point and itching to confront Ronnie. Laura finally coaxes Ronnie's whiny ass into the backyard for what is sure to be a rodent roast. Laura begins to cry and tells Ronnie not to throw her under the bus. Ronnie says he won't be put on the spot but has no idea what else to say. Russell thinks something doesn't add up (hey, he can add!) and Jordan thinks Ronnie is pitting Laura and Jordan against each other. Ronnie runs away with his rat tail between his legs and goes hunting for his man crush Jessie, but ends up in the HoH with Chima. He says he just wants to go home next week and that Laura was lying about Ronnie trying to make a deal with her. Chima asks why he didn't say anything outside and he sayss he doesn't care. He goes downstairs to find Laura to talk privately, but instead yells outside.
Ronnie: “You're going home!!”
It looks like Ronnie's lies and games have finally caught up with him. Well, that and Laura also lied about not campaigning against Jordan. It also looks like Ronnie isn't such a great puppetmaster after all! He sulks alone in his HoH room. Ronnie and Jessie finally meet up and Jessie tells him just to chill out and that things will blow over. Ronnie really wants to talk to Natalie because he feels like he is going home now because of Natalie opening her mouth to Russell. Ugh, I can't keep all of this drama straight.
Phewwww. Cover your nose, my bull*$&% is getting deep!
Meanwhile, the Backyardigans are making fun of Ronnie and saying he is out the door next week. Chima and Natalie are even out there. Everyone is exchanging information on things Ronnie has told everyone. They all laugh about how he has lied and manipulated everyone.
Jeff: “That's not even his f*^%ing wife and cat up there! Whose f*^%ing cat is that?”
Russell decides he wants to play with Ronnie some more, and calls everyone into the kitchen from the backyard. They talk about last week's eviction and how Ronnie lied about his vote. Jessie and Lydia remain silent through this ordeal. Everyone starts yelling at Ronnie again. Laura tells him if she goes home this week, she will be able to sit in her living room and watch him get kicked out. Russell tells Ron he's on the block next week. Casey says he's impressed because Ronnie was able to get everyone's votes. Ronnie scurries up to his HoH room, defeated once again. Boy, his boy buddy Jessie didn't say a word to defend him. What a pal. He comes back out and the hamsters then applaud him. He retreats again and mumbles that he should have put Russell up.
Jessie joins in the Ronnie bashing and everyone is now in the backyard plotting on how to get Ronnie out of the house next week. They need Chima and Michele to throw the HoH contest so their clique won't be safe. Ronnie heads back downstairs and asks Jessie for a personal conversation. Everyone cracks up and Jessie tells him he just wants to chill. Ronnie leaves and they all speculate that the DR is helping Ronnie and that he is a plant because how else would he be able to control 12 minds. They all crack up at how they got played. Lydia and Kevin head inside and agree they shouldn't talk to Ronnie, but they should try to keep their Jock Strap team together. Natalie, Jessie, and Russell confirm with each other that they are voting out Laura. Some more excited chit chat continues, and FINALLY around 4am Big Brother time, the hamsters go to bed. Well, except for Ronnie. He's wide awake. Sorry buddy.
Russell wastes no time hounding Ronnie first thing the next morning. Ronnie passes him and Russell calls him a rat and asks how it feels that Russell got him. Russell still annoys me. What's up with his porn stache anyway? As my shift comes to an end, the lazy hamsters are milling about and finally getting up and going for the day.
The cop from the Village People called, he wants his look back.
Phew. AshleyPSU out.
Thanks to JustJuls, ThinkPink, and TheIrishEyes for the screencaps!