*This is a recap of events from noon Sunday to noon Monday, BB time*
Did you miss the feeds Sunday? Don’t worry, you didn’t miss a whole lot. Ronnie, King of the Wafflers, did nothing but rehash his “brilliant” (not) plans to turn the house on its head. All day long. Non stop. He’s like a nerdy, chubby little Energizer Bunny, he just keeps going and going and going...Jordan tired of his BS and gave him what for, but she paid a price for it. More on that later...
It wasn’t a pleasant start to the day, as BB is forced to kick their butts out of bed at the crack of noon. Casey was already up, of course, having eaten breakfast, worked out, swam, napped, and burned a few ciggies all before the others were awake. This is more than some of them will do all week.
Russell soon joins him, asking if the person who uses the veto is safe from nomination. Not a big fan of the game, are ya, Russ? Well of course they are, schools Casey. Casey then brings up the totally idiotic concept that some people in the house have - that if they were to vote out Kevin, they’re automatically anti-gay. And if they vote out Chima, they’re against black people. So, if they vote out Lydia, they’re anti-skank? And if they boot Laura, they’re not a fan of silicone? That logic is fuzzier than the stuff in that Tupperware container in the back of my fridge I refuse to go touch. And it’s even dumber than the “good people should win” crowd. Once again - great job, casting!
Ronnie is still miffed about Russell’s supposed “fat f***” comment, but tells Chima, Jessie and his lapdog Natalie that he just wants to talk to Russell to get some info. But if Russell is dumb enough to “get up in his grill,” Ronnie will have to go off on him. Yes, it was just as laughable as it sounds.
Deep in thought or constipated? You decide.
At some point Casey’s name is brought up as a replacement nominee, to “teach him a lesson.” What lesson that would be, I don’t know. Don’t hang out with the fun people anymore? Five minutes later, they’re back to Russell. A few minutes after that, Lydia is squawking about putting Jordan up to teach Jeff a lesson. Because he’s acting all cocky, now that he’s won the veto. And bitchy can’t stand cocky.
In today’s game of He Said, She Said, Jessie runs to Russell and spills all about the sorta-kinda plan to put him up in Jeff’s place. He knew, anyway. Jessie points the finger at Jeff and Jordan, then runs to tell Ronnie what he just told Russell. Of course Russell hunts down Ronnie for a chat, denies calling him a fat f*** and points the finger at Laura for causing all the problems. Ronnie says that he’s just trying to sift through all the lies. Unfortunately, he didn’t “go off” on Russell, which would have made buying the feeds so worth it.
Rat/weasel/_____(fill in your choice of vermin) Ronnie then goes outside to talk to Jeff and Jordan, who are lounging at the pool. Ronnie insists that he’s not going to put up Jordan, getting her to promise the same in return. Jeff refuses to promise anything since Ronnie nommed him this week. Fair enough, says the rat. Ronnie then brings Casey’s name up as a replacement, and both Jeff and Jordan defend him, saying that he doesn’t talk trash about anyone and keeps to himself. Ronnie’s still parannoying about him.
Jordan eventually gets tired of the wishy-washy Ronnie, and tells him so. She tells him that he’s playing both sides, and she basically doesn’t want to hear any of his crap because he’s just going to do what the bullies tell him to do anyway. Spot on truth, and he hates it, going outside to sulk and poke his lip out for a while. Laura was eavesdropping and goes to talk to Jordan afterwards - Jordan knows she’s going up now. And doesn’t much care, because she's D-U-N with this game.
Russell and Natalie were upstairs pretending to play chess (Nat couldn’t figure out a game of checkers, never mind chess) - they were also listening in. Happily. Now that Jordan went off on ratboy, she gave them the perfect excuse to be put up. Jessie and the rest of the assnozzles in his alliance will be ecstatic, because now the fact that some of them were the ones who originally wanted Russell put up will be forgotten.
Another WTF fashion choice by Natalie.
In the HoH room, poor Casey is locked in with Chima to watch the movie they won during that horrid luxury challenge. Chima was bitching earlier about having to pretend laugh and act like she’s enjoying the movie. Did it ever occur to this witch to actually try and enjoy it instead of whining like a child with a loaded diaper? Nah, a movie isn’t good enough for her Highness. She wants BB to give them things. Good things, like lobster. Like she really deserves it. About all she deserves in my eyes is a can of tuna. Lobster? No.
Meanwhile, Ronnie has finished pouting alone and goes inside to bang on his highchair to his crew. He tells Lydia that Jordan is a horrible, awful person and he hates her. And...and...she’s stupid! Yeah, but she outed you perfectly, Ronniecakes. He claims that he now has the justification he needs to break his promise to her and put her up. Lydia comforts him, telling him that they are seven strong and the house will be so awesome when all those fun people are gone.
A wave of nausea overtakes me as I recall how the Friendship formed in season 6...
Bolstered by this, Ronnie weasels his way down to Michele and rips in to her, accusing her of riding his coattails and letting him do all the dirty work. She’s incredulous, as she should be. He had previously agreed not to tell her what was going on so she could be innocent, and now he was holding it against her. He basically wants her to kiss his butt and bend to his will from now on, and just to shut him up, she agrees.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Unfortunately for us, the movie goers were allowed to grab all the candy they could carry. This means hours of gum-smacking in stereo, for which I refuse to forgive BB. Natalie, for the love of Pete - shut your mouth when you chew, girl! Even more unfortunately, the lovely gum chomping noises didn’t drown out the details of Kevin and Russell’s discussion of oral sex, which I will spare you.
Stupid Hamster Trivia:
- Chima says (and I don’t believe it) that she won Miss Congeniality during her debutante ball.
- Ronnie tried out for BB9. Can you imagine? I wish he’d been on BB8, Dick would have eviscerated him and used his bones for toothpicks.
- Russell doesn’t want to have grandkids til he’s 65.
- Jessie asked where the defibrillator was. No idea why.
- Lydia has a Vespa. And two Hello Kitty tattoos. And two whole fans.
- Chima has never had a job that she liked. If they ever start paying people to bitch all day, she’s golden.
- She also joked (?) about poisoning her future husband if they didn’t get along.
- Kevin has been with his boyfriend for 9 years.
- Jessie used Natalie’s razor to shave his pubes.
- Russell says Lydia reminds him of his sister.
- Michele says she’s the Zach of BB11 - everyone leaves the room when she walks in.
- Jessie told Chima he has a big crush on Natalie. All together now: ewww!
So sure that the upcoming HoH comp will be Majority Rules, Ronnie holds court and tells everyone on his “side” how it works so they will win. They'll all keep voting "A" no matter what until the others are knocked out of the comp. When in doubt, cheat! Of course, the lot of them have the collective IQ of a hot summer day, so cheating isn’t out of the equation. He also takes the opportunity to rehash his browbeating of Michele in front of the others so they’ll adore him just that much more.
The best part of the night? Was watching Ronnie alongside Jessie and Russell, lifting weights. The big boys were hefting some serious poundage, while pudgerat Ronnie was pumping teeny little Barbie sized weights. I think the game controller for his Xbox weighs more. And, his form was awful. Ha.
A hairbrush is your friend, Nat.
The evening winds down early, with Lydia and Natalie betting on a game of pool and Jeff spot bleaching some pink stains out of his pants. Yee haw. Morning arrives, and the hamsters impatiently await the POV ceremony. Like we don’t know what’s going to happen. Jordan, Jeff, and Laura laugh at themselves for believing Ronnie’s BS - at least they’re not sore losers. The other sad sacks play “What I’m Gonna Do When I Win HoH,” a very tiresome game. In between bouts of fish, Jordan and Laura begin their primping in the bathroom and Chima scares the small animals out of her mop in preparation for the ceremony. The feeds finally go to fish and I wait for the inevitable bad news...
Thanks to ThinkPink and JustJuls for the caps!