**This recap covers noon Tuesday to noon Wednesday, BB time**
Whew, I just got through finishing watching the last 24 hours of the Big Brother feeds. What a night! What an HoH competition. I'm exhausted! The excitement is unstoppable! Oh, wait. I'm lying. I don't know, maybe the BB gods just hate me. I swear this entire season I've had nothing to recap. Oh sure, there was the nose-picking and swim club, but all in all, I didn't even get too many April and Ollie romps. Okay, so I'm not really complaining about that one, but I'll try to do my best mini-recap of what's gone on in the past 24 hours.
Here we go:
Dan won part 1. They showered, ate and slept. And then they went to bed. They woke up, and slept.
Okay, a little more happened than that, but not much, but I'll try my best to fill you in.
My shift began with the 3 stooges mulling around the house and Keesha having intermittent tear spurts. Dan is worried about her. surrrre he is Keesha and Dan chat about rich people and where they live and where the jury house is. Meanwhile, Jerry and Memphis are sleeping. Not together. Keesha and Dan try to count the votes for Dan in the Jury House. Can I just say that Dan actually masterminded the whole Keesha eviction and here she is trying to get him votes in the house. He's the best. Keesha said the only good part of going to the jury house is Renny - she can't wait to see her. We also get a really exciting story about the guy who hangs around Hooters so she paid his bar tab. Whew, I'm exhausted.
My ponytail is too tight
So it's at this point we go to trivia and I get to ponder all the scenarios for Final 2. Lemme see - there's Dan and Memphis or Memphis and Dan or Meman and Danphis. DAMN - who needs "The Renegades" when they could have had "Danphis".
Let's all flash forward to the only part of this shift we all care about - the nose picking. KIDDING. The HoH competition.
When we return to the feeds after the live eviction show, we see Dan and Memphis on their airplanes. We immediately all think of Jerry falling off just like he fell into the pool. And we laugh hysterically. Come on people, you know you all laughed when he fell in the pool. We're all going to hell. But we do realize that Jerry is already out of the competition and Dan and Memphis are standing on their planes, holding on to the reins in absolute silence. We have some smog being shot at them and they hold on. As we are to understand there's a code word between the 'Gades that includes "football" and the "Lions" but we're really not sure what and when it means Memphis is to drop off. Yes, folks, they've fixed the competition. Dan has figured out that he'll win part 1 and that way Memphis and Jerry can go fauxhawk to bald spot in round 2. We have Dan spouting some St. Mary's football slogans - if it ain't rough, it ain't right - crap like that. He also repeats "focus on the nose" over and over. Other than that, this has got to be the quietest HoH ever. They really are concentrating and putting on a good act for Jerry. Dan chastises Memphis telling him he bets he wishes he had Jerry's windbreaker on! The next thing you know, Memphis is down, spread eagle on the ground. I pounce. Oops, sorry. Memphis is out and Dan is winner of round 1.
They head inside. Jerry is following Memphis around like a lost beagle. Poor little Snoopy. He has no Charlie Brown. He has no Woodstock. He fell off his Red Baron. In an effort to really kiss
Charlie'sMemphis' ass, SnoopyJerry offers to make Memphis a hamburger. Okay, the personal hygiene of Jerry would make me never EVER eat anything he's touched, considering he let out a big old sneeze and never even washed his hand. Guh-ross. Memphis says no at first, but then proceeds to eat one anyway. Jerry tries to explain how he fell off so quickly and that he didn't grasp the ropes good to begin with, so he fell quickly. Memphis doesn't give a rat's ass. The only noise on the feeds now is Dan's shower, where we almost got a show, but he was only in his underwear and the frying of the burger in the pan. Seriously, this is actually making me long for the sounds of Keesha eating chips. Memphis and Dan do a quick whisper but it's totally turbowhispering and I have no idea what they said. So, I'll make it up.
Memphis: "you looked HAWT on that plane"
Dan: "oh Memphis, don't be so silly!"
During Dan's shower, Memphis and Jerry talk about how Dan got a little nasty right after the show ended. Now YOU know and I know that it's all a big ploy, but poor Snoopy falls right into Memphis' trap and agrees. Jerry thinks he's so in with Memphis. Dan and Memphis decide that they can't really talk any
smackgame until the 2nd part is over. They try to keep up the facade that they don't really like each other much right now. I think Jerry actually falls for it. They contemplate if someone is going home Thursday or Sunday. That's when Dan explains the math to Memphis and says that Sunday is going to be "when they ask us questions"
The remainder of the night includes some pow-wows on order of HoH's and vetos. Dan's really coaching Memphis to help him win part 2. They get a couple of beers and Dan plays with a toy airplane. We also hear the BB voice say out of nowhere "just so you know, kerosene lanterns are a good thing to have when camping". Jerry and Memphis chat a bit until Memphis can't stand him anymore. We get to discuss gas prices and April looking good in high heels.
They finally go to bed after the obligatory staying awake for Showtime. When they awaken, Dan and Memphis have another quick powwow about different trivia Memphis might need to know. The remainder of the shift is spent sleeping and staring into space. Seriously. Not a word is spoken.
The excitement never ends
That my friends, is my final recap of this Big Brother season complete with a title as boring as my shifts. Thanks for laughing at whatever snark I tried to use, although I wasn't always given the best material. I appreciate the comments and the recap love. Don't forget to tune into the season finale of Big Brother on 9/16 and check out all of the other awesome reality shows that we cover here at Fans of Reality TV. Over and out.