Hello dear readers! Tis I, Iguanachocolate, in for the much missed MsFroggy. I will do my best to step into the snarky one’s shoes as I navigate through this eviction show. Last show, we saw that Memphis won the PoV and used it on Dan to keep the Renegade’s in action another week. Jerry was forced to nominate Renny as the only housemate eligible. What will happen this week and who will go home, stay tuned as I guide you through.
Speaking of guides, we are welcomed by the lovely Mrs. Chen, sporting the latest in Hillary Clinton Safari wear, letting us know it is now Day 59 in the house. Not surprisingly, Renny thought the PoV meeting sucked and vows not to campaign against bff Keesha. Keesha is unhappy at being on the block with her best friend in the house and says it is a lose-lose situation. Jerry is furious with Memphis, adding his name to his long list of Judas impersonators. He says betrayal should not go unpunished and I say neither should nose-picking and boogie flinging, you old coot. Dan is happy as a pig in a poke and unlike others before him with their falseness, makes the true statement that the Renegades decide who stays and who goes this week.
Jerry gets right to work to shore up his imagined position in the game. He traps Keesha in the HoH room and tells her that Memphis’ actions show that he and Dan are a team that wants to go to the end together. He also tells her that Memphis has a deal with everyone in the house (by the way, dude, that means he has a deal with you, too) and poor Keesha turns red with the effort of thinking. Keesha consults Renny and asks her if she thinks Dan and Memphis have a pact to the end. Renny points out that Memphis could have easily taken Keesha off, but chose Dan instead. I think Keesha’s head might explode with the effort of having to wrap her brain around all of this. Renny warns Keesha that the guys are very shrewd.
Jerry decides he needs to bring Judas back into the fold and corners Dan in the kitchen asking him why he thinks Memphis is keeping Dan around. He tells Dan it is because Memphis believes he can beat Dan in the end and that he, Jerry, would be his best shot at the half million in the end. He goes on to tell him that with Memphis’ latest betrayal, all the other houseguests are on the same footing with Saint Jerry so Dan shouldn’t worry about how Jerry feels about him now. Phew, I’m sure that is a relief to Dan, he was really worried about how the Colonel thought of him, I’m sure. In the storage room later on, Dan asks Keesha if Jerry tried to talk to her. Keesha says of course, that Jerry is trying to stir things up. Memphis comes in and Keesha tells him what Jerry said about his deal with Memphis. Memphis plays it cool and says that both she and Dan know that is not true, lying through his cute little teeth. Diary Room Memphis says that if Keesha should believe Jerry, that would be very bad for the Renegades.
Awww, break out the Kleenix (shameless product placement – you reading this Kleenix brands?!) as Renny and Keesha have a tearful moment worthy of any soap opera diva. I jest, but I love these two together and I believe they have forged a really good friendship in the house. It truly is heart warming. (Allow me to pause and dab my eyes with my tissue drawn from my ever present decorator Kleenix box.) The two women share their favorite fermented grape beverage and share their mutually mushy thoughts of each other with Keesha saying she now respects different things in the house and does not feel as immature as she was and Renny telling Keesha she wants her to be a beautiful mother. Awwwwww. Come, share my Kleenix…you know you need it, too.
Time to see where the mixologist hangs outside of the house: The magic BB cameras bring us all the way to Memphis’ Hollywood apartment to talk to his pretty girlfriend, Ashley. She says that she and Memphis have been together for three years and he is no longer the ladies man like he was when she first met him. In the Hippie room later, we hear a bit of background from Memphis that explains why he went into such a frenzy when Jerry accused him of being a womanizer: It seems Memphis’ dad was married five times and wasn’t a particularly stellar guy. Memphis tells Dan he wants to push his relationship with Ashley to the next level when he gets out of the house and Ashley is correct in her assumptions that his experience in the house would make him appreciate her more. Sorry FoRT ladies (and some overly hopeful gents), but it seems the Mighty Eyecandy man may be off the market.
And now for my favorite moment of the night: Outside, with Dan in the pool and Jerry and Memphis wandering aimlessly, a plane flies overhead spewing out some kind of smoke message and as Jerry backed up to see it he backed up right into the pool! Oh, how I laughed and laughed and laughed, along with the houseguests who got to see it all on the screen, compliments of Mrs. Chen. Despite some initial ass pains, Jerry was fine and could laugh at himself. Along with myself and the rest of America.
Going, going, gone!
Julie then asks Dan why he teases Renny so much and he says because she is his mom in the house and as he teases his own mother so much, it would be disrespectful not to tease Renny the same way. The more he teases, the more he loves, apparently. Awwww. Where are my Kleenix?
Julie speaks with the Colonel in the HoH room. Nothing mind shaking or earth shattering there. Just more rhetoric and alleged bravado from the aged one. Come on, BB, bring on the Jury House! That’s what we’re all waiting for!
And then we have it, the hamsters home away from the House, the mansion. First up is Libra who really wants to see April come in the door and she gets her wish, followed by Michelle who claims to have been backdoored. Errr, what? You got to play for the PoV, Michelle, which means you had a chance to save yourself and didn’t. That’s not a backdooring, that’s poor game play. Michelle goes on to spin the yarn about how Ollie got taken for a ride mentioning nothing about the fact that he agreed to a stupid deal that no one in their right mind would have believed. Michelle brings the coveted dvd of the latest doings in the BB House and the trio of harpies sit down to watch it doling out catty comments about Keesha. Then, the second most laughable thing happens, April claims to have left the house with her self-respect and pride. America, roll tape and laugh with me… Finally, Ollie enters the house and the sack muffins are reunited. Bring on the Kleenix…not. But the other jurors might appreciate some ear plugs. Or another house.
For the fans of the Fab Four, the time has come, one of them will be leaving the house. Keesha and Renny give their please don’t evict me speeches and I am happy to say that we did not have to suffer through another rendition of Angie’s now oft used and never abided by vote for the player who can help you personally in the game speech. It’s no surprise to anyone that Dan and Memphis vote to evict Renny and the Queen of New Orleans is sent off to the land of the harpies, may God rest her soul. Renny leaves the house to a well deserved rock stars welcome and shakes hands as she comes down the isle to share an exit chat with Julie. Renny is proud of how long she was able to stay in the house after having been one of the first people on the block. The goodbye speeches are predictably good things from her fellow alliance mates and something about cooking from Jerry that Renny just rolls her eyes at. Goodbye, Renny, take care in the jury house and don’t take anything from the harpies. And if you should happen to slip some arsenic into April’s food, I really don’t think anyone would mind much.
Now, for the all important HoH competition – though it is a good thing that the main target of the three remaining alliance members, Jerry, cannot play for it. Julie shows the hamsters some still frames of previous comps in the house and they go outside to play a true false question game based on those photos. I could recount the whole thing, but as Keesha took herself out of the running early by wrong guesses and Dan was spot on with all of answers, it really wasn’t much of a competition. King Dan reigns again.
Stay tuned for Sunday when we find out the meaning of the giant man in a diaper in the BB house’s living room. Will the hamsters have a new roomie? Will Jerry have new Depends? Will the luxury competition Julie alluded to really have the possibility to change the game? Probably not, but let’s all watch anyway, shall we? See you then!
A special thanks to Waywyrd for the screencaps of Jerry's fall from glory.....
Anyone want to throw a splash party with Jerry? Pm me......