At the end of the live show, our beloved hamsters are hanging from vines in the BB jungle. It’s raining on them and they’re swinging back and forth…and being slammed into the wall. And hard. If you’ve been waiting all season to see houseguests get the hell beat out of them, the time is now.
Welcome to the jungle. We got fun 'n games...
When feeds return, all six are still hanging on and chatting happily. They all seem to be pretty comfortable so someone lowers the ropes and gives them a good slam into the wall. Memphis complains about the family jewels and likens hanging there to having a “rope tied to your penis.” Apparently, this competition is not anatomically convenient for the fellas. Dan jokes that no where in their contract did they agree to become sterile. Michelle wants to know if her makeup looks good and Memphis is in rare form. He’s cracking jokes and turning on the humor.
About an hour in, Jerry calls it quits. He drops and can hardly move as he lays on the tarp below. Renny comes over to check on him and the others call down telling him to lie there a while. He says he can’t feel his legs but manages to get over to the side out of the way in case someone else needs to fall. He finally makes his way over to the bench with Renny and proceeds to break down the game for her. He drones on and on playing armchair quarterback. He repeatedly tells Renny that the circulation to his legs was cut off and she looks as if she’d like to cut more than his circulation. His vocal cords maybe? He continues on. In case you missed it, he’s 75 and his legs went numb. Given time, he would have launched into stories of walking to school uphill both ways in the snow.
Michelle keeps singing and BB gives her a verbal smack down. Is it wrong that I wish they’d give her a physical smack down. It wouldn’t take much, just a big smack into the wall face first to shut her up for a bit. But all they do is reprimand her so she keeps up the annoying act. She’s bouncing up and down on her swing doing a Tarzan yell. Houseguests are allowed to grab water balloons resembling coconuts from the wall and throw them at each other. Memphis throws a couple and nails Ollie in the kidney. Dan takes one in the mouth and Michelle takes one in the eye. Too bad it wasn’t her mouth. And too bad it didn’t get stuck there to muffle her voice. The baby talk is as irritating as usual. It’d be different if she was doing it as strategy. You know, to wear the others down. Unfortunately, this is Michelle 24/7. No strategy here, just an annoying pain in the ass.
If you want it, you're gonna bleed. But it's the price you pay...
BB drops them about three feet and slams them into the wall again. This time, Keesha falls. She says she slipped but obviously being slammed face first didn’t help. Jerry helps her to the side and asks someone named Mike who is apparently running things if he can go inside and get towels to put over Keesha’s shoulders. She’s wet and shivering. Feeds cut to trivia and as they return, we see that Jerry got his wish. Keesha is draped in a towel like a prize fighter as they watch the others. BB seems to be slamming them harder and more frequently. Michelle isn’t looking so good and after one good slam into the wall, she goes down. She claims that her foot was caught in some netting that pulled her down and lets the F bombs fly. She’s pissed and something tells me we’ll be hearing about this alleged net incident for days to come.
BB seems to let up on beating the hell out of them a bit. Memphis has Jerry toss him some more water balloons and he throws them at the camera. Michelle encourages them all to keep hanging on. She tells them she’s making them chicken nuggets later. I’m sure Ollie is thrilled to have something to look forward to later since doggie-style under the covers is out of the question. Memphis looks more uncomfortable by the second. He’s leaning back to stretch out and alternating hands holding the rope. Finally, he drops. He lies there paralyzed for several minutes as Jerry goes to his aid. Poor Memphis is shivering uncontrollably as he makes it to the bathroom and into the shower.
Down to two means deal time! Sure enough, Dan and Ollie start whispering. Neither seems ready to let go. They both want to see pictures of their loved ones, or as Ollie puts it, “his peeps.” For some reason, Skippy wants to be an ass and blocks the rest of the competition. Feed watchers are stuck with trivia but BBAD viewers can still see the rest of the competition. Apparently, Dan promises Ollie and one other person of his choosing safety. Ollie takes the deal and drops. Dan is HoH! The others rush over to help them up and show more compassion than BB usually sees. They’re both wrapped in blankets and BB tells them there’s pizza in the storage room. Michelle tends to Ollie while Renny holds Dan to warm him up. It’s one of those “Oh, how sweet” moments that won’t last long.
Ya learn to live like an animal. In the jungle where we play...
Once the boys are dry, warm, and fed, it becomes obvious who Ollie chose to protect besides himself. He tells about the deal he made and that he chose to protect her. He also tells her that there was another part of the deal…he gets to choose one of the nominees and if the POV is used, he gets to name the replacement. Dan all but promised to bend over and take April’s place under the covers. Skippy must be on crack because there seems to be a problem with sound on the feeds. Keesha and Renny discuss the deal. They know that Dan agreed to keep Ollie and someone else safe but don’t know who that someone is. They’re paranoid that Dan agreed to put someone up and when Memphis joins them, this pisses him off. They trio keeps discussing it but I couldn’t tell you what was said. Skippy is on the pipe again and playing BB music instead of audio from the room. Memphis makes his way to the kitchen and tells Michelle that putting him up was part of Ollie’s deal with Dan. Michelle doesn’t give up anything and Memphis continues to sweat it out, convinced he’s going up. Michelle immediately passes the info on to Ollie who reminds her not to say anything. Michelle keeping her mouth shut? This should be good.
Memphis goes back to the bedroom with Renny and Keesha and has to put his legs above his head because he can’t breathe. The boy is seriously nervous about the deal that was made. Keesha and Renny go round and round about what they think the terms of the deal are. Meanwhile, Ollie tells Jerry to stick with him. The doofus pretends to be grabbing a case when Dan walks in. Jerry has a groin injury and keeps rubbing his crotch. At least, I hope it’s a groin injury because I shudder to think of the old dude pulling an Adam. Ick!
Dan gets his HoH room and the gang all rushes up with him. He has pictures of his family, himself coaching football, and the infamous Monica. She’s sent him a shirt with the word “Taken” across the front of it. He also got a pillow from Italy, a new hat, a mini basketball and hoop, Cheez-Its(his favorite), cream soda, and the new Weezer CD. He asks Renny what she thinks of Monica. She says Monica is more beautiful than she imagined. She then laughs and yells, “Renny: Monica, he came in a boy. We’re gonna send him home a man! You know what Taken spells backwards, right? …NEKAAAAT." Everyone shares a good laugh. Finally they all leave and Dan says, “That was all nice and lovey-dovey but game on." He flips on the spy-cam saying, "Let's do this like Judas." That’s my boy!
There are a couple late night conversations of note but since Skippy is still toking away, we can’t hear a damn thing. The sound is all screwed up. Once thing is certain. Ollie can not choose Keesha as his nomination. That was part of the deal. Now this may be a good thing since Keesha and Renny will vote together. In the event of a tie this week, Dan breaks it. Still, he’s giving up a lot of power to Ollie and Ollie is the one who gets to play for HoH next week.
Ollie tells Michelle that he recognizes Monica from the pre-show sequester. He’s sure she was with him there and this means that Dan must be a producer plant. He and Michelle spin conspiracy theories left and right and convince themselves that Dan must be getting paid daily. That’s why he promised Ollie so much. Because he couldn’t risk going home yet. Their reasons…(1) Dan had a raincoat. He must have had a heads up. (2) Dan had gloves. Idiots! Maybe Dan has watched a competition or two over the past 9 seasons and knew what to expect. Oh, and get this…production must want them to know Dan’s secret and that is why Monica’s picture is there. Of course, Michelle has been guessing all along that Dan is America’s Player. Now she’s convinced that this is the twist.
Michelle: Ollie! I’m not nuts! I’m not crazy!
Ollie: No, you’re not!
lildago : Yes, honey, I’m afraid you are. You all are.
The morning after, everyone is sore. Memphis feels as if he’s been in a car accident. He and Dan chat about the deal. Dan doesn’t tell him much other than he had to give up a whole lot. He tries to feel him out to see where he and Michelle stand. Memphis said if it came down to it, he would vote her out. Dan then meets with Keesha and has her pull Renny in. Sounds like Memphis is the person that Ollie wants nominated. Dan and Keesha try to convince Renny to keep Memphis safe. She doesn’t trust Memphis and wants him out. Dan says he wants the F4 to be himself, Keesha, Renny, and Memphis. They’ll use Memphis to get where they want and then cut him. Renny isn’t so sure but Dan talks her into it. She says that she will do what Dan wants. And that’s it in a nutshell. Something tells me this thing is going to get more complex and spin out of control before the week is over. Hang on feed watchers! We’re in for a wild ride!
How many times do you think Michelle will mention her foot getting caught in the net? PM me.