This recap covers events in the house from Tuesday noon to Wednesday noon, BB time.
Marybeth, your usual Tuesday recapper will return next week with a killer tan. For now, you’re stuck with me. It’s all “he said, she said, they said, I said.” The rumor mill is moving at lightening speed. Hamsters scramble to keep their alliances secret and the lies always have a way of catching up. Oh, the drama, the backpedaling, the deceit! Most of the arguments are circular so do try to keep up.
Real Cases, Real People…Judge Renny
Renny and Keesha hold court up in HoH. Keesha tells Renny that the other day Memphis and Dan were talking and Memphis was complaining about Renny throwing his name out there so much. He was supposedly hoping for F4 with Renny, Keesha, and Dan but is now concerned that Renny has something with Ollie. Another time, Memphis slipped up and mentioned Michelle in a way that hinted at an alliance. Keesha is now very suspicious. Renny told her so. If Keesha gets HoH, she plans to put up “some strong ass players” …meaning Memphis and Michelle will go up. Renny will be pushing for Memphis to go but Keesha thinks it isn’t his time yet. She wants Michelle to go because she’s in a perfect position with everyone in the house. Keesha and Renny go in circles with a rundown of everyone's strengths and alliances. Who can they trust? Who do they believe they have something on? Who would they put up? How would the others vote? Mostly, Keesha’s talking about how she’ll turn the house upside down if she wins HoH because everyone expects her to put up Jerry. Recapper’s Note: Someone better do something about Jerry soon or the old man is going to skate right into the finals.
Court continues…Dan joins the girls in HoH and they tell him he has to stay with them. After all, they represent two votes for him and they’d never turn on him. They want to know what he thinks about Michelle and he sidesteps the question by saying he feels the same way that they do. He simply thinks she feels like the odd man out. He goes on for a little while but keeps himself safe. When he leaves, however, it’s apparent that Keesha and Renny aren’t buying it.
Michelle is summoned to Renny’s chambers and things get animated. Renny conducts the interview in her white sunglasses and Michelle’s scrambling to point fingers at everyone to take the heat off herself. Renny is tired of everyone questioning her putting Jerry on the block. It’s all about revenge for her. Michelle complains about feeling left out and boo hoo hoo and blah, blah, blah. They bash April. They bash Jerry. And Renny clears the air by telling Michelle she likes her.
Misery Loves Company
April knows she’s going on Thursday. She’s moping around, weeping, and bitching about everyone else. “F” bombs are flying left and right. Ollie is so angry at them that he called them an extremely offensive name. He then yells out “F**k them” about everyone outside. The twosome commiserate about everything that is wrong with everyone else in the house. They keep threatening to go off on someone. Fingers crossed for some drama.
Michelle rejoins April and Ollie. They encourage her to do their dirty work and call out Jerry for going around telling everyone that he is safe. Michelle gets louder and louder as April eggs her on. Keesha and Memphis overhear some of it and start putting two and two together. They realize that Ape and Ollie are using Michelle. Meanwhile, the bashing moves from Jerry to Keesh and Renny. April keeps trying to get her to blow up on their behalf. Ollie keep pestering Michelle about what Renny is asking her. Specifically, he wants to know if Renny has asked for her vote. Michelle says no and when she leaves, Ollie says she’s playing dumb and he’s pissed. Our preacher boy is extra nasty today. Ollie predicts Michelle will vote with the others making it a 4-1 decision against April. She tells him to go ahead and vote with the others but he refuses. Now April adds Michelle to the long list of people she’s vowing to call out. Get on with, April! Talk the talk, walk the walk already.
Michelle runs back up to Renny and Keesha in HoH and starts in on Jerry. She keeps asking if Renny told him he was safe since Jerry seems to think he is. To the point that he’s even talking of who he’ll put up if he gets HoH next. Michelle heard it would be herself and Memphis. Soon Michelle has them all on Jerry’s case. They rehash all of his past transgressions in the house. They wonder about April and Ollie. Michelle lies that they never talk game in front of her. Renny dismisses Michelle rather abruptly so she can talk to Keesha alone. They realize Michelle was campaigning for April by badmouthing Jerry so much. They also are certain that Michelle is working for Memphis because she never mentioned his name. Renny is convinced that Memphis will be coming after her and using Keesha to help make it happen. She assures Keesha that the only reason she’s talking so much with Michelle is to get info and that Michelle has already been caught in several lies. The BFFs reconfirm that they trust each other and they’re on the same page.
Jerry takes his turn in HoH and tells the girls that he hasn’t said anything to anyone. Besides, no one will listen to him anyway. He thinks that Michelle and Memphis are in a strong alliance. She works one side and he works the other. He also suspects Dan is a part of it but with Memphis and not Michelle. Sounds like the old dude isn’t so clueless after all. Jerry also tells them that Michelle is thinking ahead to F2 and counting her jury votes. Keesha says she won’t have her vote if she screws her over. Jerry promises to keep his word to Renny and Keesha and be faithful to those who help to keep him in the game.
Renny : You don't make 75 years being a fool. I'll tell ya.
Of course, Jerry goes straight down to the sauna where April goes back and forth between tears and smooches with Ollie. He tells them about his talk with Renny and Keesha and brags that he threw them off his trail by diverting attention to Memphis and Michelle. April orders Jerry to keep with Ollie when she’s gone.
One Long Ass List
- April’s pet peeve is smoking. Ollie’s is holding someone’s drink in a club. April says it’s dangerous because someone could slip you a Ruffie. Heh, I doubt she needs a Ruffie to get horizontal!
- Speaking of pet peeves, my pet peeve is Michelle’s constant baby talk. She's making me want to bang my head against a wall. Hard.
- Michelle doesn’t have a middle name and feels left out. Dan suggests “Michelle Isabelle who can ring your bell.” Renny suggests “Snoop” or “Hustler.”
- Dan thinks April’s twin sister may be part of this season’s twist. I’m starting to think that lame AP thing for a week was this season’s only “twist.”
- Speaking of twists, Ollie has a habit of twisting his own nipple. Yes, his own.
- Jerry misses his wife Joanne and plans to buy her an ab stretch thingy like the houseguests have to keep her moving. Awww.
- Renny thinks Dan likes to use the HoH bathroom so much because he’s playing with Little Dan. Isn’t that against his religion? Just sayin’.
- Memphis and Michelle are called to the DR together. It does not go unnoticed and spins Renny into a frenzy of conspiracy theories.
- There seems to be a lot of talk about production manipulating the game. Houseguests are frustrated with it all. Hmph! So am I!
- Dan is worried that he might not have a job when he gets out of the house.
- Memphis and Dan turn up the heat on Keesha’s waterbed so she’ll be burning up in the middle of the night.
- Michelle cried herself to sleep with her head under her pillow so the cameras wouldn't see her.
- When Jerry was younger, his curly hair made it easy for him to have a beautiful pompadour. Anyone care?
That's Gonna Leave A Mark
Night falls on the house and the hammies get alcohol. The drink it in shots so they can get drunk faster. They decide to play hide and seek to entertain BBAD viewers. Michelle goes over the rules and negotiating a treaty between warring countries sounds simpler. She goes over and over it enough times that everyone finally gets it. April and Ollie are still mad at the world and take a pass. They sit out in the hot tub playing smoochy smoochy grab ass while the others run around having fun with the game. They move from hide and seek to Murder, some winking game that includes Jerry placing a ball in their crotches. Don’t ask because I couldn’t tell ya. Jerry keeps trying to cop a feel on Renny though. They switch to musical chairs without music and it’s hilarious to watch them playfully argue and howl with laughter. Renny’s wild ass laugh is infectious. She laughs even more when they move to the couch to play “Bicycle” and “Airplane.” She and Memphis both take turns lifting Michelle into the air with their feet. I keep waiting for her to pee her pants again or pass gas. Or both. Nothing like bored hamsters when they’re tipsy!
While infecting the hot tub, April and Ollie have a fight. They’re discussing him moving to Arizona to be with her and she lays down some rules. She will take him in, introduce him to the cool kids in her circle, and give him time to settle in. He has thirty days to get on his feet. Ollie is questioning the thirty day thing, saying it takes a lot to completely uproot his life and move. April says there are millions like her in Arizona and after thirty days he will want his own place. Ollie says this is just April's way of setting it up to dump him. She doesn't have as strong as feelings for Ollie as he has for her. She says she wants to be his girlfriend before moving in with him and mentions marriage. They go in circles and finally kiss and make up as I throw up in my mouth.
The lovebirds who have been moping and cuddling all evening move to the bedroom to make out. April makes a quick run to the bathroom for um, cork removal. Ollie gets up to turn off the lights and Little Ollie is visibly ready for action. April returns, strips off her thong, and they get busy. Shouldn’t the lights be left on as usual? No reminder from production though. Must be that they want this live porn for BBAD. Sorry to shirk away from duty but I can’t stomach the heavy breathing. *Switch to Jerry talking to Keesha about a F4 alliance with the two of them, Renny, and Ollie. Keesha does the Jameka “Mmmhmmm” and munches on a carrot rather than answer him.* Finally, the boinkfest is over and it takes them longer to find their clothes than the entire act itself. Ollie complains that he’s going to need a band-aid because he’s probably got a mark down there. April explains that her head was down there and she got caught up in the moment and I.can’t.take.anymore. Sorry again. I missed the remainder of the post-coital talk. I was busy bleaching my brain to erase the horrors these two have imprinted upon it.
Keesha and Memphis compare notes this morning and realize that Michelle told Memphis if Jerry stays, he’ll put up the two of them. But she told Keesha that if Jerry stays, he’d put up Keesha and Michelle. Ah, what a tangled web we weave. Memphis knows April needs to go this week but is bothered that Jerry will still be there. They wonder if Ollie and April will give each other a big good-bye kiss before she walks out the door. Keesha doubts it because she thinks the two are “reserved.” Ha! Do these people really not know that those two are going at it like drunk monkeys on the feeds? Well, that’s one thing Jerry has kept his mouth shut about.
Be sure to tune in to the feeds for more of April’s bottom lip dragging the floor as she pouts around the house. Believe me, that’s better than the other places those lips have been dragging.
What do you think Michelle’s middle name should be? PM me.