**This recap covers events from noon Monday to noon Tuesday, BB time**
Welcome back, dear readers! If you are like me, you are wondering when this @#$%@^ Veto Ceremony is going to take place! I am dying to know if April got her whorish little claws into Dan and caused him to change his mind. Let’s check out what the furry little balls of boredom are up to today, shall we?
As my shift begins, the feeds are on trivia. I am assuming it’s veto time, but we all know that saying about assuming things. A little while later we are back and find out that Dan didn’t use the veto. Woo hoo! See ya later, Ape. The groveling beings immediately, with April cornering Dan and offering him money and safety for his vote. In the HoH room, Keesha and Renny speculate that Michelle has deals with everyone in the house and is playing all sides. The usual conspiracy theories abound. I check the other cameras, and April and Ollie are pretty much doing the same thing. It seems as though Michelle is indeed the ultimate floater. Nobody is sure whose side she is on. April reminds Ollie that he needs to play for himself. Didn’t they have this same conversation when I recapped on Saturday? Boring. Back to Keesha and Renny. Renny thinks that Michelle might be the one that needs to go next because she will try to get in with Dan and Memphis. Keesha recalls that she asked Michelle if she had something with Memphis and Michelle said no.
Ugh, is it Thursday yet?
Dan enters the HoH and Keesha wants to know what April said to him. He recounts the money offer. Dan also doesn’t think Memphis and Michelle have a thing going on. He doesn’t really make much other conversation then leaves. Keesha heads outside with Memphis. She tells him that Michelle is trying to get April to stay and neither can figure out why. They both understand why money was offered and agree they’d do the same. Memphis says he’d even offer his 2 million dollar car toward the end if it helped him. Well, it might actually be worth 3 million today.
A little later, Dan, Keesha, and Memphis are at the pool and Keesha tells them that the rumor going around is that Dan and Memphis
have crushes on that cute girl in their Science classhave an alliance with Jerry. They are really mad that anyone would say that and want to know who it was. Keesha says it was the captain of the football teamwon’t give up any names. Memphis says that it has to be Renny saying some of it, and Keesha says “a lot” of other people are saying it. By “a lot” she either means all the voices in her head or maybe 1 other person ie. the Portuguese Princess. This is worse than the high school rumor mill. Dan thinks he is the swing vote again this week and he knows he will be approached by everyone.
Inside, April and Ollie have a pity party for 2 and April whines that Jerry never hung out at the pool before but now he is because he is sucking up to Dan. Ollie hopes that Jerry wins HoH this week. They make fun of Keesha for being a 30 year old Hooters waitress and call her a bitch. They daydream about what life after BB will hold and April hopes Hollywood will give her a call. Yeah, I hear Showgirls 2 is casting…
Women around the world long to be that lollipop…
Renny and Michelle are in the kitchen doing the dishes and Michelle comments how strange it is that Jerry now hangs out at the pool. Can’t a person hang out at the pool? Renny asks Michelle if she has something with Memphis and she says they are just good friends.
Back to April and Ollie. Ollie says if the next POV has a money prize, he’s taking it. April says if people had to choose to vote out Ollie or Jerry, they’d vote out Jerry because he has a lot of money already. She wants Ollie to get Keesha out next week unless he needs to use her to get further. With April gone, he will need to “use” somebody.
I wouldn’t mind Dan bringing his hose to my house. Wait, did I say that out loud? *blush*
Keesha, Renny, and Michelle gather in the HoH to once again talk about Jerry and how he hung out at the pool with the guys. Keesha told Michelle that Jerry told her Michelle would probably put her up if Michelle won HoH. Michelle thinks Jerry is trying to turn the girls against each other. Michelle is obviously trying to sway the ladies into thinking Jerry needs to go. The girls think Dan hasn’t been really trying to win any HoHs.
April and Ollie finally quit canoodling and head out to the backyard. Jerry joins them. Jerry thinks that Michelle is switching sides and that he, Ollie, and April will be the next 3 evicted. We can only hope. Jerry claims he apologized to Dan for the Judas/traitor comments. April, Ollie, and Jerry all deny offering Dan money to use the POV and April admits she thought it was Jerry.
Nothing funny to say here. Doesn’t Renny look like a movie star?
The evening drags on, with all of the houseguests hoping for alcohol, but BB doesn’t give in. Dan talks about teaching, April and Ollie lay around some more, and Keesha thinks it must be a great feeling to walk out of the house and have everyone cheer for you. April tells Ollie that she applied for Survivor but casting wanted her and her twin sister to do the Amazing Race instead.
I’m too sexy for this list:
*April shellacked a fresh coat of dye on her already too blonde hair, so her loverboy Ollie bleached his goatee. That’s love my friends.
*Dan found a bug in the backyard and hid it under a cup.
*Renny thinks that Dan uses the HoH bathroom all the time so he can make friends with Little Dan.
*Renny told Dan she trusts him more than Memphis. I’m still on my “Memphis/Dan/Renny = Dream Team Power Alliance” kick.
*April and Ollie spent a large portion of the day planning their future. I give them a week.
*April thinks if America gets to send someone back in the house, we will send her so she can be back with Ollie. Excuse me while I get a towel to clean off my monitor because I just spewed water all over it.
*Renny made her kids watch a sex education video over and over.
*Ollie got pooped on by a bird. BB also gave him cream for a nasty rash. Get your head out of the gutter folks, it’s on his arm.
*Renny laughed so hard that she peed her pants. Imagine my shock to find out Jerry wasn’t the first houseguest this season to pee in his pants.
The bug took one look at April in the morning and didn’t stand a chance.
This is one of the most boring nights I’ve covered in the house, and I’ve covered a lot of boring nights! April and Ollie wah wah wah about how sad they will be to leave each other and then slowly everyone (except Dan) heads off to bed. Keesha decides to sleep with Renny in the HoH room. Ollie and April sleep in separate beds again. Thank you! Poor Skippy won’t get a show tonight. Dan takes a shower, clips his toenails, then lays down outside by himself. He talks to himself/us and wonders what his girlfriend is up to and hopes she is happy with how he’s played the game. He wonders what’s going on in Michigan. He ponders Renny’s sanity and comments he needs to stay with Keesha until the Final 4. He trusts Memphis when Memphis isn’t being shady and thinks Michelle would put him on the block. Aww, I like the Dan Show a lot better than the Evel Dick Show!
Big Brother wakes the houseguests up around 10am. They brush their teeth and exchange pleasantries. Keesha, Jerry, Memphis, and Ollie are on the backyard couches. Jerry says he is tired and his weight is down to 190. The slop is starting to wear him down. Keesha thinks she is going to ask the DR if she can go on slop for a few days in exchange for Jerry eating food. April is inside applying her
white ghost maskpowder. BB begins calling people into the diary room early and the houseguests wonder why. Shouldn’t they be used to this by now? It seems like they get called in early every Tuesday morning and they are still confused about it.
Seriously April. If you don’t shut up I am going to stab myself with this concealer stick.
Dan comes out and tells everyone he is going to have a pool party later and asks everyone if they are going to come. He says the whole neighborhood is going to be there and it will be a whale of a good time. Aww, Dan. What a cornball. Inside, Ollie and April already appear to be in a foul mood. They are spouting obscenities about Jerry and Keesha and how much they dislike them. As my shift ends, Keesha and Renny head up to the HoH to chat. What about? Check out lildago’s recap tomorrow to read about all the gossiping and high school backstabbing that is sure to happen in the house!
Thanks to JustJuls and Snapit for the screencaps!
Would you like tickets to the Dan Show? PM me.