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Thread: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

  1. #1
    Magical Elf MFWalkoff's Avatar
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    Jul 2006

    8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    **This recap covers events from noon Friday to noon Saturday, BB Time**

    This year, being HoH is like being a kid with too much candy. The hyper behavior, the darting eyes, the explosion and the inevitable crash…will Renny suffer the same pitfalls as her predecessors? Time will tell.

    We begin this shift staring at some colorful bubbles floating on all four cams, meaning that it’s time for the Lawrence Welk Show the Food Competition is being held. Will Jerry spend yet another week on slop? Will he turn into a hateful pile of oatmeal? The answer is…yes! When the feeds return, Jerry is unhappily on slop a fourth time. He can be comforted by the fact that he is approaching the record set by Chicken George during BB All-Stars. Ollie and Memphis are also on slop, but Memphis has decided to use the slop pass he won in the now-famous POV comp where Libra took the Hawaiian trip from Michelle.

    The food comp involved eating unusual and/or gross things. Michelle ate more than her share of crickets, as well as some pig ears, although the ones she had today didn’t compare to the ones her dad makes. Don’t these producers watch their own show?

    This is my slop face.

    Upon entering the house, the hamsters notice a large bowl filled with giant lollipops on the dining table. America, you have spoken: these houseguests are a bunch of suckers. (Personally, I voted that they were full of baloney, but to each his own.) The good news for the Sloppies is that they can have lollipops, too. See, Big Brother isn’t as cruel as we all think…sometimes. Dan picks one up and starts playing air guitar, wishing he could form The Lollipop Band. April happily starts sucking on one right away. (I’ll wait for you…done? Good, moving on) When we last left poor April, she was mentioning to Michelle that she was “a week late.” Gasp!

    Could this be what the blank screen was for all along???

    We later find out that the line was merely busy, and April eventually got her call from Aunt Flo. On behalf of April’s family, Ollie’s preacher dad, Planned Parenthood and the Parents Television Council, let me say “Phew!” I estimate that the next time we will be confronted by this scare will be just after…Labor Day. Oy.

    Soon Renny opens her HoH for business, and her first gentleman caller is Dan. Dan asks if he should be worried this week, and Renny says no but she may need to put him up as a pawn. (To me, that screams YES YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED, but okay.) Dan tries his best to diplomatically steer her away from this plan, and the talk briefly shifts to using Memphis as the pawn. Renny has some thinking to do. Dan says he will ultimately do whatever she needs done, and then excuses himself to change his underwear.

    Memphis drops in and Renny asks what he thinks about the whole pawn idea. Mercy sakes, that’s a big nugatory, good buddy, he says (sort of). The very idea has him upset, because (say it with me, Jessie) the pawn always goes home. April is so close to leaving he can taste it, and he doesn’t want anything to screw that up. Renny reminds him that if she puts up April, she will have April, Ollie AND Jerry after her. Uh, right Renny: Jerry is praying to get sent to the jury house to finally escape slop, and Ollie is waiting for April to screw up so he can play his own game without losing his sex doll. Plus, deep down Ollie is sick of Jerry. Doesn’t sound like much of an alliance, or threat. Does Renny truly believe this, or is she merely trying to keep people on their toes and observe their reactions? What’s under that wig, girl? Keesha joins the fun, and gives the same “no thanks, crazy lady” reaction to being put up as a pawn. It’s so hard to find good help these days…they try to get Renny to put up April and Ollie, and explain to Ollie that he isn’t the target. Memphis doesn’t want to stick around for that convo, but Renny wants to see him wiggle squirm a little.

    Sure enough, Ollie drops by to let Renny know that he’s here to win, not to find love (or to impregnate someone he barely knows on YouTube). If April goes, so be it. Renny assures him that he isn’t the target this week. Okee dokey.

    Next, Michelle drops by for some coffee talk and some Jerry bashing. Renny tells her what she has basically told everyone else to this point: she wants to get through this week with as few enemies as possible. As I see it, she’s either doing something very brilliant here, or very stupid. Her nominations will reveal which it is.

    Keesha’s turn! And it’s April’s turn to be bashed. Thank God, the viewing audience has all but killed themselves screaming into their monitors since these little chats began. Keesha lays it out for Renny: if she puts up April and Ollie, if one of them wins POV, she can still put up Jerry in their place. But if she puts up April and Jerry, and Ollie wins POV, he’ll take April down and Renny will have to risk a pawn. Jerry can be bought off with a deal. Finally, someone’s talking sense! But, Renny has to think about it. That banging you hear is your own head hitting the keyboard. Take a breath!

    Meanwhile, April is having a private hissy, resigned to the reality that she is going to be on the block this week. She wonders what’s so scary about her, and what has she done to anyone in this house. “I’m bigger than this game! Put me up!” She’ll rely on Ollie to avenge her perilous fall to the jury house. And, scene.

    April then gets her turn in the hot seat. She approaches her visit as a war-weary ex-HoH who is there to offer Renny her sagely advice. She’s no threat, she’s Yoda! (If Yoda fell in a bottle of Clorox, maybe) Ollie is just a diversion from the game, she insists (nice). If she goes up because she’s a strong competitor, so be it, but she hasn’t done anything to deserve payback, has she? Renny covers her in honey and sugar and sends her on her way. I’m starting to think there’s a method to the Babe’s madness…

    April reconvenes with Ollie and tells him how it went, which causes Ollie to go right back up to Renny with her pizza in under 30 minutes a deal to save himself: he promises not to put her up for two weeks if she leaves him off the block. Renny says something surprising: she’s already made her decisions, but if things go his way at the ceremony she’ll hold him to that. Ooooh, she’s sassy! This sends Ollie back to April, and they get into a fight. Poor Ollie, you’re only good to April for two things, and you just failed at one of them.

    “Man…it's just worn down to nuthin’!” “Me too…wait, what?”

    There is much small-talk and licking of lollipops while the hamsters await the nomination ceremony:
    • The houseguests think the lollipops were a reward, and a sign that America likes them.
    • April thinks it’s creepy that people watch them on the internet 24/7 (and how do you feel about people who write about it?)
    • They think they know how to hide from the cameras, and that there is a 20 second delay so that BB can edit or cut from showing anything “inappropriate”.
    Okay, so maybe there wasn’t a lot of small-talk, but enough to pass the time until we go to fishes and trivia, while Renny makes her speeches, and the houseguests spin the lazy susan and remove their keys. When we return, April is crying on Ollie’s shoulder, and Jerry is in the HoH telling Renny he’s always been a straight-shooter with her. April and Jerry are on the block. Thus, Renny is half-brilliant, and half-crazy. As we suspected all along…

    Renny lets the Colonel know that he isn’t the target; she mainly put him up because he put her up all those weeks ago. This is a good enough explanation for him, and he thanks her and hugs her, and assures her that he will act like he’s stressed out for the rest of the week. That’ll be a stretch for him, mmmm hmmm. We then learn that the POV competition will be held later tonight instead of tomorrow. The players will be Renny, April, Jerry, Ollie, Dan and Keesha, with Michelle hosting and Memphis watching from the sidelines.

    By now we have reached BB After Dark time, so you know that means the POV won’t be held until after it ends, or around 3:30AM on the East coast. Thanks sooooo much, BB. I didn’t need the sleep. Really. For the three hours of BBAD, we are entertained by people making dinner (Jerry showed Ollie how to fry up some slop hash, which Ollie enjoyed), taking naps and chatting. Oh, and licking those lollipops.

    OK, this one’s for me, I’ll be with you in a sec…yeah…wow, two handed…OK that’s enough.

    One other diversion to keep us from cancelling Showtime is Michelle, who has taken it upon herself to cheer April up by acting goofy and doing impressions of other people’s gameplay:

    What would happen if Lucy and Ricky were merged into one being.

    Sure enough, 30 minutes after After Dark goes dark, the battle for the Power of Veto is underway as the feeds turn to trivia: “Which houseguest bit the head off a rat and spat it into Julie Chen’s face?” “Chicken George.” “Which houseguest orchestrated the fake Moon landing in 1969?” “Chicken George.”

    When we return, Dan is laying on his bed…with the POV hanging around his neck! The boy actually stepped up and won something! “I can’t believe it,” he says, “I never win anything!” Well, that’s because you’ve been throwing all the competitions before now, Altar Boy. Suddenly, Dan is a very popular little hamster, and not the weird hamster in the corner that makes you want to grab a broom. Everyone wants to know his plans, but he wants to stay true to Renny…but he’ll talk to people tomorrow, including Jerry. (Gotta cover all corners, just in case) Optimistic Ollie feels that Dan owes him, and will come through for them and take April down. Ollie is drunk on lollipop spittle. At the same time, he suggests to April that she offer Dan some of her $5,000 in exchange for her safety. Maybe he’s sobering up. Dan feels a little overwhelmed by the feeling of not being on the edge of a cliff, and doesn’t want to dig into any heavy negotiations until everyone gets some sleep. The house settles down, having made it through another long day.

    Upon awakening, Michelle and Keesha discuss the possibility of a fast-forward week, something that Jerry mentioned the previous day as well. Renny and Jerry chitchat about slop, the difference between prison and the BB house (in prison you get TV), and all these crazy kids in the house with their energy and their emotions. Suddenly I find myself rubbing my old knee injury and thinking there’s gonna be rain. As we leave the hamsters, we find Dan standing before the Memory Wall, staring at the POV, and thinking what to do, what to do, what to do…

    Laying low is so last season…

    Be sure to check out AshleyPSU’s recap tomorrow to see if Dan will shake things up. Thanks to JustJuls and Just Sayin for just the right captures!

    Do you miss the Alliance Wheel? PM me.
    Last edited by MFWalkoff; 08-17-2008 at 02:27 AM.
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  2. #2
    FORT Fan jessesmom's Avatar
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    Aug 2006

    Re: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    Excellent job as always. Thanks so much! (And yes, I miss the Alliance Wheel LOL)

  3. #3
    FORT Fan Dawne's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
    Edmonton AB

    Re: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    OMG! Wait! Let me stop laughing!

    I miss the old alliance wheel!

    But I would love to see a new one - with all the new alliances!

    Oh - and on behalf of the entire universe - thank God April's not pregnant! And like Bob Barker said on Let's Make a Deal - have your pet spayed or neutered - so BB - please take care of April and Ollie NOW!

  4. #4
    FORT Fogey Snapit's Avatar
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    May 2004

    Re: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    Yeah!!! I have been waiting to read this MFWalkoff since I missed all the action yesterday.

    Gotta The Fort
    The place that keeps you in touch with reality!

  5. #5
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    Feb 2004

    Re: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    What would happen if Lucy and Ricky were merged into one being.

    Now that is scary. And so true! Fantastic recap, MFW!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  6. #6
    Kitten time! Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Aug 2004
    Mio and Reo

    Re: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    Great recap! April=Yoda... don't even go there! I was going to name my first child Yoda (luckily she was a girl). Ollie drunk on lollipop spittle - priceless! Thanks!
    Count your blessings!

  7. #7
    Maven rushnhoney's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
    on the blue side of purple

    Re: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    people watch them on the internet 24/7 (and how do you feel about people who write about it?)
    I don't know how that skank feels, but I love the recappers. Thanks MFWalkoff!
    Thought about killin' 'im. Kinda hated to go that far. Briscoe Darling

  8. #8
    FORT Regular tkcma's Avatar
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    Aug 2004
    New York

    Re: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    Excellent recap MFWalkoff! You really had me laughing! Thanks!

  9. #9
    American Idol Deluxe Arielflies's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    With My Thoughts

    Re: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    Thanks so much for a super recap, MFWalkoff! Though I did choke on my oat/wheat/soy breakfast when I scrolled down to the sonogram on the wall. A hearty morning laugh is as needed as a hearty breakfast to start the day.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  10. #10
    FORT Fanatic
    Join Date
    Aug 2004

    Re: 8/15 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: You're All a Bunch of Suckers & Pawns

    So to recap your recap, a 20-second delay will be enough time to cover inappropriate bahavior?
    Wow, you're the man, Ollie. Not.

    Great job, MFW.

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