**This recap covers events from noon Friday to noon Saturday, BB Time**
Over time, and especially after viewing this shift, I have come to break down the Season 10 hamsters into two groups: those who converse, and those who “conversate,” or merely talk at people. Dan, Memphis and Renny actually listen to the people they are talking with, and manage to have discussions that have a beginning, middle and end. Libra, April, Keesha, Michelle, and Jerry all place a priority on hammering their points, and don’t listen to other people so much as wait for the moment when it seems as if the person they are talking to is winding down, so they can jump in again with more me-me-me. I’m still not sure where to place Ollie; he’s a great listener and ambassador for April, but I have no idea what he is like on his own with no agenda. In fact, I have no idea who or what he is, other than whipped. Just an observation…on with the show!
Omigod Ollie, we did it in the same bed as Boogie and Erika! Uh, I mean…nothing!!
We begin this shift with trivia, which means the food competition is taking place. An hour and a half later, the houseguests return in a brief but tense and awkward HoH lockdown while BB cleans up after the food competition. We learn that the food comp was part of the special “returning houseguests” segment that Julie Chen mentioned at the end of Thursday’s show. Playing against the current hamsters were Chicken George (S1/S7), Bunky (S2), Amy (S3), Jun (winner S4), Jase (S5/S7), Janelle (S6/S7), Mike Boogie (S2/propped-up winner S7), Jen (S8), Matt (S9), and the event was hosted by this season’s first evictee, Brian.
Gathered from various points in the shift, here’s what we know about the event:
With all these revelations about how former houseguests are watching them, you could tell on the faces of a lot of the current hamsters that it has finally sunk in: they are, in fact, on television, and are in the process of becoming a part of BB history, and that (some of) their lives will change dramatically after this season is over.
- Most of them (definitely Jerry, who can’t get a break in this department) are on slop for two days, followed by a feast that includes steak, lobster and free-flowing alcohol.
- Memphis won a phone call with his sister.
- They had the chance to win a grill but lost it.
- The questions involved things that have happened outside the house since the season began. Here is how BB finally let them know that yes, the earthquake was real, right down to its measurement on the Richter scale. But the most shocking revelation to many of the houseguests: Brett Favre being traded to the Jets.
- They also learned that Cheech & Chong are reuniting for a comedy tour. And now they are caught up with the important stuff.
- Chicken George won a prize, and was ecstatic that he finally won something on this show. Me too, George!
- Keesha wished that Evel Dick and Dani were there. Keesha loves Dani. And why not? Keesha is Dani 2: Electric Boogaloo.
- Libra said that Janelle said she loves the drama this year, and to keep up the fighting. I think she just wants the two blondes in the house to kill each other, reducing the pool of peroxided pretenders to her throne. Pity, because Keesha remarked that Janie was “so pretty.”
- Janelle was fickle today however, and called Jessie “ugly.” But is it relevant?
- Several people complimented Dan on how hot his sister is. (She appeared on Thursday’s show)
- Dan’s all-time favorite BB moment was Mike Boogie winning All-Stars (after I had grown to like you, I find this out? You toad!)
- Upon seeing Matt and Mike Boogie, Michelle showed her Yankee pride by yelling “Whassup New England!” (Connecticut boy here, so GIT IT GIRL although I disowned Boogie a long time ago, and now consider him “Hollywood”)
- Apparently the current HGs and the former HGs were in separate parts of the house/yard, communicating via video, and did not have any physical contact. A lot of them felt star-struck in the presence of their predecessors.
- The vets left our hamsters with the impression that neither they nor America likes Libra that much.
- Dan mentioned that Brian slipped him a few messages during the comp that he appreciated. Renny asked what they were and he said “I’ll tell you later.”
Soon all lockdowns are over, and the hamsters are going about their business eating, doing laundry, getting some sun, and getting themselves all purty-like for the next big event of the day, Michelle’s nomination ceremony. Jerry, still fuming over Dan’s role in the last eviction vote, launched another diatribe. "I don't see how Dan can live with himself. I think he's America's Player. But it still doesn't make it okay. He doesn't even feel bad about it!" (More about Judas, the famous missing cross, and Dan’s crimes against the Church can be found in yesterday’s recap, today’s edition is basically a rerun…)
Libra is convinced that she will be going up. She says she won’t campaign, all she asks is that people don’t stop talking to her if she is earmarked for the door (I can just see Brian, Steven and Angie’s mouths dropping upon hearing this). Keesha was off crying, and when Renny tried to cheer her up and tell her not to let “them” see her like this, she said she wasn’t crying about the game, she was upset over the earthquake being real. She’s worried about her family and dog, and is worried that it was just a prelude to the “big” earthquake that has been predicted for decades. She is soon called to the DR, hopefully so that BB can tell her that, duh, if something had happened to anyone’s loved ones, they would have told them.
Michelle is hanging with April, Ollie and Jerry. Michelle is still wondering who to put up against Libra. Jerry instantly offers up that Judas Benedict Arnold, Dan. April and Ollie are biting their lips, not wanting to sit for another performance of this particular one-man show. Further evidence that the April/Ollie/Jerry alliance doesn’t really include Jerry comes out when April tells Ollie of her disgust with Jerry saying earlier that he wants to leave in the next couple of weeks, so at least he can eat real food in the jury house. If that’s the case, she believes, then he should just DOR now, since everyone else is there to win a half-million dollars. Ollie pumps her…up, saying that after last week, her fanbase must have tripled, and America must really love her now. (Well the over-18 YouTubers, anyway…oy vey, where’s the Pepto…)
Meanwhile, Dan is telling Renny he’s afraid he may have embarrassed his family and his students with his actions. He believes that when other houseguests attack his job as a school teacher, or his religion, he doesn’t see a point in defending himself because “there would be too many fires to put out.” He then tells Libra he understands why people don’t want to talk to him now, but if people were to make a move on him, he wouldn’t take it so personally, and he wouldn’t stop talking to them. Libra lets him know that in honoring his promise to her gang to vote Jessie out, he gained a lot of respect from her. Whether he sees this as a good or bad thing remains to be seen.
Also meanwhile, Memphis is frustrated that Michelle won’t tell him (or anyone else) who she is putting up with Libra. He’s trying to get her to put up April or Ollie (in fact he’d prefer she put them both up) but he knows how they have been clinging to her since she won HoH. He knows they are trying to block other people from talking to her, but she won’t do anything about it. Which is somewhat true: at this point, Ollie is telling Michelle he would “worship” her if she would tell Libra that she wouldn’t put her up in exchange for the $1,000 cut she received from April’s POV prize…and then put her up anyway. Way to tell ‘em what they wan to hear, Ollie…
Finally Memphis does get a moment alone with Michelle in HoH, but what she’s mostly telling him is that she is alone in this house. And in a sense, she is: April promised not to put up Jessie, and then April put him up. Then the “other side” forgot to mention to her that they decided to go against April’s wishes, and voted Jessie out for personal reasons. Dan drew a line in the sand as well by voting with them to evict Jessie. That leaves Memphis, who was usually on her side, but is now trying to save Dan and Keesha, two people who aligned with Libra to get rid of her best friend only yesterday. No wonder she talks so much to the camera and her stuffed dog (more on that later).
Best Performance by a Marked Man in a Mis-Leading Role
And with that we go to trivia at 5:30PM BBT, meaning it’s time for the nominating ceremony. At around 7PM, we’re back, and Michelle asks Memphis what he thinks about her putting up Libra…and Keesha. He thinks it means they have to be worried about winning the POV to keep things as is. (Libra is still Michelle’s only target, and she figures Keesha is someone who comes with several votes to keep her.) She says this week, people can vote the way they want, none of this “do what the HoH wishes” stuff. (She will repeat this speech to everyone else who comes upstairs tonight, too.)
Michelle then goes upstairs to find Jerry waiting for her at the HoH door, to give her an earful about Dan not being up. They agree that they think he’s a floater, and that he’s probably America’s Player. Jerry then bizarrely recounts how he gave Dan the finger a while ago, and Dan only smiled, as if that proved something. Michelle lets Jerry know that she pulled Dan’s key last to send a message: if Libra or Keesha get taken off the block, he’s going up. And she is a little irked that Dan didn’t thank her for not putting him up after the ceremony. Apparently Jessie passed on some of his “respectitis” to her before leaving…
No sooner does Jerry leave when Dan comes upstairs…to hug Michelle and thank her for not putting him up. She quickly and sarcastically wonders why he waited till now, and who he didn’t want to see him hugging her downstairs. He denies any motive, but he is curious why she didn’t put him up. She says she didn’t want to put people up from emotion, but to play strategically. But he better not make her regret her decision by using the POV if he wins it. Later he tells her that the reason he voted for Jessie is that they told him that April wanted to go after floaters next. (Yeah I don’t buy it either, but c’mon, he’s trying to explain the unexplainable here…just before, he was downstairs with the not-happy trio of Libra, Renny and Keesha, telling them that he didn’t think Michelle could be so easily manipulated. He’s dancing as fast as he can, folks…)
Downstairs, Renny is comforting Keesha, and tells her she will go up and try to talk Michelle into targeting Libra (apparently the memos haven’t made their way to Renny or Keesha yet). Renny goes up and Michelle brings her up to speed, and asks her to get Keesha to come up for her talk. Meanwhile, Dan is telling Libra and Keesha in the sauna room that the hints Brian gave him were “being overly fake to April, and saluting for Jerry.” How anti-climactic…
Only Nixon Could Go to China
Keesha makes her way up to talk to Michelle. What happens next is a masterpiece of diplomacy, glad-handing and lies that BB should make aspiring contestants watch, and learn. Keesha respects Michelle and her decisions, Michelle respects Keesha’s choices too. Keesha has never actually had a problem with Michelle and kind of likes her. Ditto. Keesha has never been after Michelle, nor has she told anyone as such, also no one had to talk April into putting up Jessie last week. Michelle is not targeting Keesha at all, she put her up to make sure Libra goes home. Keesha delicately asks if the banner really said what Michelle and Memphis claimed it said, that Libra and Keesha are liars. Michelle swears that it did, and she believes the “Steven” who signed it was in fact her brother. She offers as evidence the fact that Julie Chen keeps asking her about it on TV. Why would Julie ask her about it if it weren’t true, especially since BB doesn’t like to encourage people sending banners? This somehow makes sense to Keesha, even though it really proves the opposite, since Julie would love to catch a houseguest in a lie for the sake of drama, never mind the fact that on her way out the door, Angie had aready shared with others that they were never really sure what the banner said when they first saw it. I believe that Michelle and Keesha (when sober at least) could probably get jobs as arms negotiators after this season ends. Bravo, girls! And just to keep their skills sharp, they have the same conversation the next morning before POV selection.
Meanwhile, Renny takes Memphis aside and lets him know that he needs to get April out next week, or as she put it, “you better put a noose around that bitch’s neck.” Memphis agrees that if April wins HoH next week, he’s a goner. Renny tells him she can only help him so much, but they have to get that vampire out. And so concludes this week’s secret meeting of the Friends of Keesha Society.
April tells Ollie that she is waiting for an apology from Libra and Keesha for not warning her in advance that they had shifted the house to vote out Jessie. As with Nixon and Watergate, it wasn’t the break-in that soured her on them so much as the cover-up…
Michelle and Dan have another HoH session. Dan rides Michelle’s tirade about Libra being the devil in disguise, orchestrating everything that’s going on in the house. He lets her give another performance of her detailed reasons for putting up Keesha over anyone else against Libra. To show the influence Libra held over him, he adds, “Did getting Jessie out benefit me? Does getting anyone out benefit me?” Michelle is still mad at him and still doesn’t trust him, but she’s letting up on him for the time being since he seems willing to play ball with her. We’ll see…
This is as good a time as any to take a look at the Alliance Wheel™. Lawd knows it’s been through the wringer over the past week:
More colors means more varied and less herdish alliances, which is good. There is obviously no more “Seven” going after the Patio Punks. In fact, the only unifying factor this week is Libra, who is Michelle’s clear target for eviction. The conventional wisdom at the moment is, if she doesn’t win POV, she is gone. Gone to sequester, and then to Hawaii. (I’m sure she’ll stop home in between to get some fresh clothes and hug the kids, just in case TMZ is watching outside her windows.)
All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Mean Girl
Mercifully, the night winds down into small talk: BB9 James’ gay porn past, whether or not Chelsia was attractive; Renny observes that Dan might like older women, and he admits that Monica’s mom is attractive, and thinks that he’s cute.
April, Ollie and Jerry discuss what they would do with the $500,000. April would give $25,000 to a Downs Syndrome foundation, and put most of it in a college fun for her niece and nephew. Ollie wants to build a church for his father. Jerry says he’s like to help out his kids and grandkids. He also asks them not to forget him after he leaves the house. Awww…
Renny fears she accidentally exposed herself to America while in the shower, and is told that Angie went through that as well; talk of high school and college reunions reinforces their age differences; Dan thought that BB8 Jameka praying for a magic ping pong ball was hilarious, and that just because he prays more than some doesn’t mean he thinks he has a better chance to win the game. Again, bravo. April and Ollie settle down for the night…in separate beds! April does climb into Ollie’s bed, but only for a brief cuddle and chat before returning to her own bed. Again, bravo! BRAVO!
Dick At Night: The Next Generation
After most of the house settles down for the night, Michelle goes upstairs while Dan heads to the downstairs bathroom, as both of them decide to take a shower and talk to America. Michelle puts on Jessie’s sunglasses and does a dance for Skippy while giving shout-outs to her loved ones.
Let me entertain you…let me make you smile…
As Dan dries himself off, he grabs his shorts off the door and tells us, “Sorry guys. Gotta have somethin' of mine that I keep in this house. Can't be showin' the marbles!" He also asks and answers, “Who still gets pimples at 24? It’s me, it’s me!” He points to his swim trunks and lets us know they haven’t been washed once yet this season. “Chlorine is the same as soap, right?” Then, just in case anybody misses Jessie, he starts flexing in the mirror, and shows us the difference between his flexed and unflexed abs. (Honestly, not much) Then, he makes a plea:
"If some of you guys could [make a petition] to my school and make sure I keep my job, and a lot of you people sign it, I'd do anything for you. SaveDansJob.com -- if one of you could make that site, that would be great."
Of course I instantly checked to see if the domain was available…and it was! I came close to registering it, but then I would have had to make a petition site and manage it for the rest of the season, and I thought better of it. Writing 3,000 words a week (8,000 this week, I filled in for a couple of people) is enough for one geek. Ten minutes later, I checked again…and someone bought it! So, start checking that URL very soon, and see whether one of Dan’s fans is going to help him out, or if a greedy domain reseller picked it up in order to jack up the price.
Dan goes to the 80s Bedroom and gets into bed. He then calls out into the darkness, “Goodnight, Jerry,” hoping for a better result than last night’s silent treatment. After several tense seconds, we hear Jerry softly rasp, "Goodnight, Dan." Again, awwww!
I swear on Boston, neither of these are Photoshopped…
As Dan’s show wraps, Michelle’s show kicks into gear again. After drying off and donning her HoH robe, she starts hearing voices…specifically, Jessie’s name being whispered. She asks Skippy, "Are you trying to scare me on purpose!!?" She does another dance, checks the spycams, says her goodnights to her loved ones, and climbs into bed with her stuffed dog Holly.
What happens for the next 10-15 minutes is both hilarious and bittersweet, as Michelle tells Holly all about her crappy week, and provides Holly’s voice to be her excited and sympathetic audience:
Holly: Why did you have to wear a unitard, Michelle?
Michelle: Because a mean girl stole my holiday! (Yes, she said “mean girl”)
Holly: Why would she do that, that was mean!
Michelle: I looked good in the unitard. I can't really say much about her...
Holly: I want you to beat her!
Michelle: Well I am HOH this week...
Holly: Omigod omigod omigod, I’m going crazy!
Michelle: Yes I know, I am going crazy too!
At last, Michelle has found someone who gets it. And I’m happy for her, and feel a little creepy for watching her in this vulnerable state, even though she is clearly doing it knowing that people are watching. Nighty night, Head of Household…
Morning comes, and the houseguests were told to be dressed ready to rock the POV by 10:00AM. They dress, eat slop (except for Michelle), and banter until we see fishes, meaning that the players are being picked for today’s POV. When we return, we learn that, as she promised the night before, Michelle emptied the bag for everyone before the selection to prove that no one is fixing things in anyone’s favor. I’m sure BB tried hard not to take it as an insult. As the clock runs out on this shift, we learn that Memphis, Jerry, and April will join Michelle, Keesha and Libra in battle.
iguanachocolate will let you know what happens next. I can’t wait to read it, I hear it was a fairly eventful 24 hours…
Do you have a Holly? PM me and we'll swap stuffed companion stories.