**This recap covers events from noon Saturday to noon Sunday, BB Time**
Compared to MFWalkoff’s shift yesterday, my shift should be all rainbows, butterflies, and cotton candy clouds, right? Is it possible that the Mean Girls got all of the drama out of their systems and are toenail panting, pillow fighting, hair braiding BFFs once again? As much as I dislike them, I don’t think I can handle another whiny bitch fest from the bitches themselves. Give me Memphis sitting alone on the backyard couch for 24 hours and let’s call it a day.
As my shift begins, the houseguests are just waking up. Big Brother decided to let the hamsters sleep in a little bit (you know, because they do so much during the day). The Mean Girls immediately gather in the HoH and discuss a possible connection between Jessie and Ollie. They think those two have a secret alliance. Keesha thinks Ollie knows the girls will stick together and he needs a backup alliance. Dan comes into the HoH and tells the girls that Jessie tried to get him to give his word he wouldn’t vote Jessie out. Dan, being the upstanding alliance member that he is, says he wouldn’t do it. Too bad Dan is America’s Bitch this week, because I’m pretty sure America wants Jessie out. Speaking of America, April uses the code word “America” in place of “Diary Room” and tells her cronies that “America” keeps reminding her that she gave Jessie her word. April doesn’t think it’s fair that Memphis already has a $50,000 car and if he would even come in second place, he’d then have $100,000. Whine whine whine. So it looks like April still wants Memphis out but the rest of her alliance prefers Jessie.
Elsewhere in the house, Memphis claims he is going to offer Jerry the slop pass he won in exchange for Jerry using the veto on him. Michelle huffs around the kitchen in her
nastysexy red unitard, and Renny comments that she is slamming things around this morning. She goes into the bedroom and talks with Jessie. Up in the HoH room, the Mean Girls continue to kiss and make up. They compliment each other about their gameplay. Yes, you read that right. Apparently they think they actually have gameplay to compliment each other on. They also still have it in their heads that Dan is America’s Player. April tells Keesha she was really hurt by the things Keesha said about her. Like I’ve said before, these people are like broken records. I can’t handle it. Let’s check and see what’s going on outside.
You like this Skippy? Huh? Huh?
Dan and Ollie are talking and Ollie is pretty frustrated with his
girlfriendwhore and her lackies. He says he always has to have a reason to vote someone out. He says if he would vote out Memphis with no reason, they would think he has an alliance with Jessie. He claims he can’t even go to the bathroom without someone thinking something. The guys think Libra is in the best position in the house. Memphis comes out and the chatter between Dan and Ollie stops. Memphis hops into the pool with Dan. Dan thinks BB should start the houseguests off with ten thousand dollars to barter with. That could be interesting. These people’s dignity probably isn’t too expensive.
Michelle is also in the backyard complaining that she can’t wash her unitard. She’s pretty certain she is going to get some sort of rash from it. Eww. Dan is pretty sure the unitard is a lot better than a bunny suit. Memphis tells Dan that he didn’t have an alliance with Angie, just an “agreement”. He feels really bad that he had to vote her out because he enjoyed talking to her, but he didn’t want to put his neck on the line. He thinks that people take everything out of context in the house and that’s why the girls were fighting yesterday.
Okay, who got this wet stain on my unitard? Ollie? April?
The rest of the afternoon passes slowly without much important conversation. Is there ever much important conversation? Here’s a quick rundown. It’s unitard-tastic!
*Michelle tries to dress up her unitard by putting a tube top over it.
*Renny hasn’t been able to stand April since Day One.
*Keesha is trying to like April but it isn’t working.
*Dan asks Libra if the twist this season is America’s Player and she says she isn’t sure. I can’t believe Big Brother would use the same lame twist two years in a row. Oh wait…
*Jessie thinks Jerry would be stupid not to use the veto on him. I think Jessie is just stupid.
*Michelle thinks Libra is America’s Player.
*Dan has more swim lessons with Ollie and Renny.
*Libra asks Keesha if she has a deal with Renny and she says no, she just likes her.
*The Mean Girls still think Dan is America’s Player. They think he has been moving things.
*Memphis warns Keesha that she is probably going to be a target next week.
*Those smart hamsters all still think the earthquake was fake.
*Jerry says he isn’t going to use the POV.
*The girls apologize to Dan about thinking he is America’s Player. They tell him they are just joking. The funny thing is these girls thought Dan was America’s Player before he was actually America’s Player. They must be channeling Amber and her “visions”.
Skippy has a sense of humor today
It appears as though there is trouble in paradise, as April and Ollie have words in the HoH room. Ollie tells April that one minute the alliance is up and the next it’s down. She says she is sorry they aren’t all perfect. April tells Ollie that nobody dislikes him and he replies that he never said someone disliked him. She accuses him of being “distant”. Wow, you’d swear these two had been dating for more than, oh, 3 weeks. Oh yeah, and by “dating” I mean “doing the mattress dance”. They go back and forth, basically because Libra, April, and Keesha accused him of being in an alliance with Jessie. April tells him she has feelings for him outside of the game. They go back and forth again and he claims April questioned his trust and she claims he doesn’t understand her.
Ollie: “If you feel uncomfortable because you’re in an alliance with crazy bitches, that’s fine.”
Their conversation lasts way too long and Ollie says he is just going to pretend the conversation and day never happened. She throws some sarcasm at him and he tells her that she has bigger things to worry about than her talk with him. She says she is fine, he says he is fine, I’m fine, you’re fine, she’s fine, we are all fine! They leave the HoH.
The chair is now scarred for life
Skippy and his friends must be worried that April and Ollie won’t give them a hot show tonight, so they provide the houseguests with wine and beer. Oh yeah, Ollie doesn’t drink so it looks like April needs to get liquored up and lure her man back into her good graces. She meets with Libra and Keesha in the HoH and tells them about her fight with Ollie. Keesha thinks Ollie might be too innocent for her. April just thinks Ollie feels left out because he’s the only guy in the alliance. Switch to Ollie, who is in the living room with Dan. He says outside of the house he’d like a girl who is a little more reserved and a little more “classy”. If letting strangers feel your boobs on the first night in the house isn’t classy, I don’t know what is! Dan asks Ollie if he’d rather win the game or have a relationship with April outside of the house, and Ollie doesn’t answer. Dan says he knows the answer.
Keesha comes downstairs and announces that she’s drunk on two glasses of wine. April, Ollie, Dan, Keesha, Libra, Memphis and Renny get into the hot tub. The conversation goes downhill quick when Keesha asks where the craziest place any of them had sex was. Renny has done it on a pool table and April has done it in a men’s restroom at a wedding. Apparently the groom’s father walked in on her. Elsewhere in the house, Jessie and Michelle are laughing about her unitard and she decides to strap a stuffed poodle to her microphone belt. They head outside and hit up the pool table. Michelle can’t go in the hot tub because of her unitard. Chit-chat in the hot tub continues.
Michelle looks like a deranged Willie Nelson who is too high to realize there’s a dog attached to her
Everyone finally heads inside and it appears that Renny is a little toasted. Ollie says he can’t wait to meet Libra’s husband and Libra informs them all that she calls her husband “Daddy”. They all think that is pretty sick and twisted. Libra tells anyone who has had sex in the house to raise their hands, and nobody does. Jerry says the thrill of having sex with him is like the thrill of jumping out of a plane and that’s why his nickname in bed is Geronimo. Oh man, that’s gross. Speaking of gross, April and Ollie go into the bathroom and April puts an apron on and takes her top off underneath. Her cup runneth over, if you know what I mean. Eww. She walks around the house, giving everyone a show. Apparently the little fight before didn’t hurt the showmance, because Ollie and April find themselves a cozy little spot and start making out. Hmm let’s see what’s going on anywhere but here, shall we?
Outside, Dan and Jerry talk a little game. Jerry wants to bring Dan in an alliance with him and Ollie. Jerry wants to take out the girls. Jerry wants the final four to be him, Dan, Ollie, and April. Jerry says he fought hard to win the veto because he doesn’t want the plan to change. Ollie and April are up in the HoH getting it on, again. These two are like rabbits. Really, really disgusting rabbits. After they are finished, April comments that the cameras got a show. Yes, we did too. My retinas are burning. Ick. By around 3am, all of the hamsters are sound asleep.
Kum-ba-ya Skippy, Kum-ba-ya
Big Brother lets the lazy bums sleep in again today until around 11am. Libra wonders what her kids are up to. Michelle is trying to make a swimsuit out of her unitard, unsuccessfully. She gets frustrated and quits. As my shift comes to an end, Keesha and April are talking about being OCD. As one of my fellow writers has said, April has OCD all right: Obsessive Copulation Disorder.
Come back tomorrow when waywyrd will fill you in on everything you missed or just couldn’t stomach watching!
A special shout out to JustJuls and Snapit for the screencaps!
If you like wearing aprons in the nude, PM me.