**This recap covers even from noon Monday to noon Tuesday, BB time**
Just when I thought the days in the Big Brother house couldn’t get any more boring, the hamsters go and prove me wrong. I’m fine with the “13 strangers/back to basics” concept, but daaaaaaamn these people suck. Come on BB, do something! Put plastic wrap over the toilet seat, pump some helium into the house, hide Libra’s food... something! We need some excitement!
My shift begins with Dan’s “Swim Club” in the backyard pool. He is going to teach Renny and Ollie how to swim. He says that Rule #1 is “Do not talk about Swim Club” and Rule #2 is “Do not talk about Swim Club” and Rule #3 is “Do what I tell you”. Aww, how cute, someone has seen Fight Club and tried to make a joke. Meanwhile, Pinhead (Jessie) and Cruella (Michelle) are in the house being anti-social. Jessie tells Michelle he wants to put on his trunks and go pose in the backyard and ask the guys when the last time they looked as good as him was. The Nerd Herd has a riveting conversation about larger women. Ollie says they give you heat in the winter and shade in the summer. What an outstanding young lad that one is.
We feel your pain.
The random chit chat continues throughout the house. Michelle and Jessie talk about Jerry’s oldness (they refer to him as Father Time), Memphis realizes that nobody besides himself, Angie, and Renny has cooked food for the entire house, and Libra is doing her normal complaining about Jessie. It almost sounds like she wants Angie to stay now. Hmm. She tells April she wishes Keesha would have put Memphis up this week but he sweet talked Keesha then tossed her to the curb. April and Libra think the HoH competition is going to be fixed so that Jessie, Michelle, or Memphis will win. I SURE HOPE SO! If another one of the Nerd Herd people gets HoH this week, I might poke my eyes out with a pencil.
I’m so bored watching these people, so I decide look for whatever camera has Memphis on it. Hey, if I’m going to sit through this torture, I sure as hell want something nice to look at while I’m doing it! Memphis is talking to Keesha in the backyard. He tells her he wouldn’t be surprised if the vote goes either way this week. Keesha says that Jessie is making a lot of enemies fast. Memphis knows somebody has to go so he won’t be pissed either way. He thinks the rest of the house is going to pressure Dan to vote out Jessie even though Dan gave Jessie his word. Keesha mentions that her 30th birthday is Friday and she hopes that BB gives them some alcohol.
Mid-afternoon, the houseguests get put on outside lockdown. Angie grows a set and decides to ask Keesha why she was really nominated. Keesha tells her that she already told her it wasn’t personal. Keesha also tells Angie she didn’t know Angie wasn’t up in the HoH room when it was decided that Steven would be nominated. Angie seems pretty satisfied. I don’t really think the conversation cleared a whole lot up, but okay! Elsewhere in the yard, Jessie thinks that if he does get kicked out this week, BB would bring him back for All-Stars due to his amazing gameplay. Excuse me, I can’t type due to my roaring laughter. What planet does he live on? If by “amazing gameplay” he means “I flexed and yelled a lot”, sure, he’s an all-star!
What do you mean there aren’t anymore ^*(($#@ chips?!!
Apparently Dan and Ollie both gave Jessie their word they wouldn’t vote him out and they tell each other they plan to keep that word. They think Jessie is digging his own grave for next week. Memphis and Angie join them and the snoozefest continues. Dan says that he and his girlfriend were supposed to be on Season 9 but were replaced with Jen and Ryan when his girlfriend backed out. Memphis and Dan would consider coming back for All-Stars if they didn’t have to go to sequester. Dan, Memphis, and Ollie decide to play a game where two of them run around and the other person throws something at them. I would love to be the person throwing things at them.
BFFs Keesha and Renny head up to the HoH. Keesha wants to get a shower and Renny wants to listen to Keesha’s CD. Keesha thinks if they don’t get Angie out now, she will make it to the end. She also thinks it’s strange that Angie hasn’t tried to cut a deal with her. Libra comes up and tells the girls that Jessie called Jerry “Father Time” and that it’s almost like he’s trying to get sent home. Libra bashes Jessie and says that if Jessie was up against the Invisible Man she wouldn’t vote to give Jessie the money. If only all these houseguests were invisible.
In the backyard, Memphis and Jessie pump some iron. Jessie thinks he started the game as an underdog. Memphis says no matter who gets HoH they have to put up Jerry so that his side will turn on him.
Do you think if I tap on my brain, it might wake up?
The Big Brother Beer Fairy has paid the house a visit and everyone is excited at the news. Disappointingly, Big Brother only gave them enough for one beer each. Looks like another lame night. Angie can’t wait until she is evicted on Wednesday (apparently the hamsters don’t know yet that the eviction show has been moved until Thursday) and she says she wants to stop at every fast food restaurant she can. I check what else is going on in the house and pretty much the only other conversation going on is one with Libra and Jerry about his dentures. Apparently he has been brushing them in front of Libra and Renny. Niiiiice. He says he will try not to do it anymore.
Dan and Ollie talk about Jerry and how they think he really misses his wife. They tell the Nerd Herd they really need to make more of an effort to include Jerry and lift his spirit a little bit. Keesha tells the Nerd Herd about her conversations with Angie and how she respects the fact that Angie never says anything bad about anyone else. Maybe these girls could take a lesson from Angie.
The rest of the evening passes by very slooooooooooooowly. Angie and Memphis are firmly planted in the backyard while Jessie and Michelle lounge in the spa room. Michelle “claims” she has been a model since she was 14. Michelle, why don’t you give Amber a call? It seems you two share similar delusional thoughts. Memphis says if he won the money he’d invest in a clothing company.
Midnight arrives in the Big Brother house and with it comes Renny’s birthday! Happy Birthday, Crazy Renny! She jumps up on the coffee table dancing, and everyone wishes her a happy birthday. Libra complains that everyone is being so fake by being nice to Renny on her birthday. I guess Libra just can’t understand that not everyone in the world is a bitch like she is. Everyone breaks off into their little cliques, chit chats about nothing, and then goes to bed. Watching paint dry is more exciting than watching these duds.
Angie: Let me show you what I saw April and Ollie doing last night
Memphis: Yeah! Now you’re ‘Walking in Memphis!’
Around 9:30am, the hamsters get their wakeup call for the day which was apparently a little ditty by Marilyn Manson. Jerry uses the bathroom and doesn’t wash his hands. Everyone else sits in the kitchen and sips coffee. Michelle talks to herself in the mirror and tells herself that her “boobies” are so much nicer than everyone else’s. Dan and Memphis talk a little game. Memphis tells Dan he won’t put him on the block if he wins HoH if Dan returns the favor. He says he wants them to work together and show a little trust. Dan says he’ll think about it. Memphis joins Michelle and Jessie and they all bash Dan. Michelle says she is pretty sure Dan is a virgin and that he’s sneaky because he drinks his beer from a mug.
My shift comes to an end as something pretty scary actually happens at the house. The houseguests feel the earthquake that happened in California today. The fish even shake. Nobody was hurt or anything like that, but Jerry says he just aged a year. Yikes, that would be scary. Any of you reading this who live in California, I hope all is well.
Stop by again tomorrow to read about all the latest hamster happenings when the super funny marybethp takes the driver’s seat!
Thanks to lildago for the last naughty little screencap!
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