**This recap covers events from noon Monday to noon Tuesday, BB time**
Welcome to another day of
watching paint dryexhilarating live feed action in the Big Brother house! I was lucky enough to get the ONE exciting dayhour in the house on Saturday evening when I recapped, so I’m crossing my fingers for another talk show or at least some alcohol for myselfthe hamsters. Onward we go!
My shift begins with some busy hamsters attempting to make a slip n slide out of some garbage bags. Personally, I don’t really see the fun in sliding down a piece of plastic with the very real possibility of gashing your stomach with a rock underneath, but I’m definitely up for watching these people do it! Steven decides he will perform the inaugural slide… and it’s a success! Memphis and Ollie follow, but get soap in their eyes. The girls think this little game looks alright and go change into their bikinis. Angie heads down next, followed by Dan, Michelle, and April. Angie and Michelle begin to wrestle on the slip n slide, much to the enjoyment of the Neanderthal men who hoot, holler, burp, and scratch themselves. If I wanted to watch two soaped up girls wrestle each other, I’d go back to that one time in Panama City during Spring Break… wait, what? Anywho…
Angie and Michelle turn the dreams of men everywhere into reality
The hamsters are put on outside lockdown for a little bit, but the slip n side has lost its appeal. Everyone chills on the backyard couches except for Angie and Steven who choose the loungers to tan themselves. Steven tells Angie that she’s in danger and that she has to win HoH. Angie hopes to get Libra out soon and can’t wait to see the look on her face when it happens. Steven says he wants to go out funny. *yawn*
Do you think they’ll grow if I water them?
Outside lockdown ends, so April and Ollie go inside to nap. Angie migrates to Memphis and they whine about Libra. Queen Bee Libra or “QBL”, as some Forters refer to her as, is always the topic of conversation with these people. I’m just happy I haven’t had her on my screen much. But if I’m not seeing her, I sure am hearing about her. Memphis tells Angie about Libra complaining that everyone was wasting dish soap during the slip n slide fun earlier. Memphis says he was pretty close to telling her to shut up. Please Memphis, DO IT! Angie tells Memphis that she wants Libra gone before Jerry or Renny, and Memphis remarks he wouldn’t mind having Renny in sequester with them. Keesha joins the
partylazy lumps and says she just found out they can’t eat until 9pm on Wednesday. She is really scared to tell Libra. Oh boy, I would be too. You do not get between Libra and her food. Noooo way. Libra loves food like Renny loves crazy. Well guess what? Libra finds out there won’t be food until Wednesday, and she gives the camera the double finger salute. We love you too, honey.
I have no funny caption for this one, he’s just hot. Enjoy.
The rest of the early evening chatter isn’t particularly interesting, but here is a short rundown just because I love lists!
- Jessie, Ollie, and Steven tease Michelle that she has a deep voice like a tranny. She also has a face like one. Okay sorry, that was just mean. I think Michelle is moderately attractive.
- Libra wants Angie evicted next.
- April and Ollie were lying in bed and Jerry walked in. She thinks Jerry is jealous. Me thinks so too.
- Keesha thinks Jerry secretly steals her scissors to cut his nose hairs and back hairs. Insert your own joke here.
- Michelle gives Jerry a haircut. I thought you had to have hair to get a haircut. Oh well.
- Renny gives Keesha a haircut. It looks like the BB salon is in full force.
- Dan asks Renny if she has had any plastic surgery done because she looks flawless. She says no and tells him to go look at her picture on the memory wall. Did someone say Photoshop?
How would you like these two waking up next to you everyday?
We are venturing into the late night hours, and apparently the hamsters have been on good behavior and saying their prayers, because the Big Brother Beer Fairy has paid these losers a visit! Beer and wine for all! But before any drunken antics may begin, they have to talk some more about Libra. Hooray for us! Renny tells Keesha she can’t stand Libra. Keesha tells Renny that she thinks Ollie is nice but Libra is always talking crap on him. Libra whines about being on slop, Libra is two faced, Libra gossips, etc etc. We know all of this already. Libra barges in and says that she has gone from 179 to 167 and that 12 pounds is way too much to lose in 2 weeks. She isn’t a happy camper. Losing weight is such a terrible thing, isn’t it?
Jessie and Memphis talk in the HoH room and Memphis reveals that he doesn’t really trust Jerry. Jessie thinks Jerry will still go along with the plan of putting Dan and Renny up, but Memphis thinks Jerry might try to put Libra up instead. These people are getting a little ahead of themselves aren’t they? Then, something strange happens. Jessie swears he saw an alien with a big head and skinny body in the mirror. Apparently a few of the houseguests have seen this alien. Hmmm. You’ll have to stay tuned to find out about this little twist because I have no idea if it’s meaningful or simply the newest Skippy behind the window is just a little odd looking.
Angie, Memphis, and Steven discuss having another sock puppet show, but instead decide to play gladiators. Angie and Memphis begin making armor and weapons out of foil. Memphis puts on his foil mask and wrist cuffs, grabs his weapon, and announces that he is Thor and he is ready to pillage. I think I have a serious crush on Memphis. This guy knows how to have fun. Granted it has been with sock puppets and role playing with tin foil, but still. Steven makes his mask out of plastic wrap (nobody said he was the smartest) while Angie and Memphis continue to pretend they are gladiators. They make some more weapons out of tin foil and Jessie even helps out. Memphis tells Steven he looks like an aardvark. Steven has made himself a foil cobra and calls himself “Cobra Man”. Angie and Memphis and Steven chase Dan around and they are screaming and laughing. Dan grabs the 409 (there’s a scary weapon) and says he is from the future and tries to spray Steven. I love this group. Too bad the other pouty pants houseguests aren’t this fun.
Thor gets ready for battle
Libra couldn’t find the ham, so she wrapped up Steven’s head to eat later
The gladiator games end and Memphis heads into the house to talk to Libra and April. Angie goes into the Kitchen with Renny and Keesha. Keesha says the hot tub is finally hot, but it might be a little too hot. Everyone heads out to the backyard to try out the hot tub since it’s finally hot. Hey, did you know the hot tub is finally hot? A helicopter flies by and the girls wave. Steven comes out into the backyard and Michelle starts chanting for him to get naked. He does go down the slip n slide, but with his clothes on. Most of the group moves to the kitchen, where it’s mostly random chit chat about movies. Angie and Memphis stay in the backyard for a little and then Angie heads inside. Memphis visits Libra, who is playing pool alone. Memphis says that he still wants Jerry and Dan out and Libra agrees. Libra thinks if Jerry gets HoH, Memphis and Jessie will be nominated. Jerry comes outside, bringing the conversation to an end.
Go Go Power Rangers
Jessie and Michelle continue their shameless flirting in the bathroom. Michelle badmouths Angie a little bit, then Jessie points out that Michelle has sideburns. He thinks it’s sexy. Sideburns on a woman = sexy? On what planet? She reveals that she gets hair on her neck that her mom has always made her shave, but it’s grown back out now. She shows Jessie but he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Speaking of shameless flirting, back to Angie and Memphis. Memphis tells Angie she is weird for sleeping with a pillow between her legs. She calls him a “stupid head”. They go to sleep.
By 1am, most of the hamsters are asleep except for Michelle and Jessie who are having a very inappropriate conversation in the HoH about self love. Okay then. Michelle heads downstairs and does a little dance for Jessie to see on the spy screen. A few minutes later, everyone is finally asleep.
By around 10am, all of the houseguests are up and about. Libra weighs herself. Keesha and Steven are still complaining about Libra’s obsession with weight loss. Apparently, someone broke a chair at some point in the evening and Steven says it wasn’t him. April cleans the kitchen while Libra watches. Keesha talks about animals and informs the group that pigs have the intelligence of a three year old child. So I take that to mean that pigs have the intelligence of… Jessie?
Dan and Angie make omelets with turkey bacon while April cleans out the refrigerator. Jerry enters and kisses and hugs Michelle, April, and Angie. Back outside, talk turns to crabby people in the world. Memphis thinks people in LA have a lot of nerve. Renny says she told off a woman in famous designer store once. Blah blah blah. Apparently Jerry had an idea earlier about everyone getting together for a one year reunion, and Memphis thinks that is a great idea. Keesha says she only lives five minutes from Memphis. Libra says she only lives about ten minutes away from Jerry. They talk about real estate a little more. As my shift comes to an end, Jessie comes out to the backyard with his HoH camera. I can imagine he’s probably already taken 20 pictures of just himself.
Gangster for life, or secretly giving “The Shocker” sign?
Will Libra lose more weight? Will the gladiators come back for Round 2? Get all the dirt by reading tomorrow’s recap by marybethp!
PS- If you don’t know what “The Shocker” symbol is, look it up. I will warn you, it isn’t PG-13.
Thanks to cap goddesses ThinkPink, JustJuls, Snapit, and waywyrd for the screencaps!
If you see little alien men in the mirror, PM me.